romance

I recently moved to a new country for work. I (30) have just started my career, and I matched with a man (38) who works at a local bank and has a very established career. We met 5 times over about 20 …

Friendships — Hey, super random, but a while back, my friend and I had this conversation. I was just sort of thinking about romantic relationships as friendships. It occurred to me that I was no anxious when it cam…

For having struggled with an anxious attachment in an earlier relationship, how does it feel for you to become more secure in a much different or more compatible relationship you are in now? — I am quite curious to hear if there are others who are at a place in their life still in their own "wound care" (healing) of being outside of an anxiously attached situation or of a previous unhealthy…

Trying to navigate a "casual" relationship — Hi everyone, I (30F, trans) have been talking to/seeing a woman (24F, cis) for about 5 months. The chemistry is legitimately the strongest I’ve ever experienced - emotional, intellectual, creative, s…

I'm not sure about my attachment style but I want to discover it right now 'cause I want to start healing!!!!!! — Sorry for the long text, I want to be thorough. So, I just ended my first ever relationship. I'm 20, I'm a lesbian from a conservative background and had a lot of internalized homophobia and religiou…

Life's expectancy for life & love — Unfortunately, I think for the rest of my time on this planet, I will carry a quiet fear. Even in the midst of real, full-blown love, I may never truly trust that one day I won’t be lied to, cheated o…

You can be pretty and still fucked up. Attractiveness will not save you from this disease. — I am not model-tier attractive, but I have modeled for local brands and have a very unfulfilling "successful" dating life. Everyone in the internet, and in real life claims that attractive people "hav…

I (28F) am tired of constantly having to ask or tell my partner (28F) how to love/care for me. Do I just move on? — I’ll start off by saying, I completely understand we have to communicate with others on the ways we want to be loved and cared for. This isn’t that anymore. My gf and I have been together for a littl…

My ex called me a “walking green flag” when we first started dating, and then I ruined it all — I can’t live with myself. I hate how relationships sometimes bring out the worst in people. I went from the best boyfriend (my first relationship too) and now it’s been 3 months since the breakup and …

Fiancé 26 M shamed me 25F for my kink — My fiancé (28M) and I (25F) been together 4 years and have a 2 year old together. We’ve had a pretty health and active sex life from the start, we recently starting exploring more in the bedroom but…

Self-Love: Self-Care, Self-Containment, Self-Possession — At some point I realized that I couldn't show up for a relationship with someone else until I could consistently show up for myself. 😁 I put this together in response to seeing discussions and posts…

I (38M) was just sent proof that my fiancé (35F) has a recently active hinge profile. — My fiancé has been acting really distant lately. I'm currently dealing with some health issues and she seems more focused on her work then helping me through my current health struggles. We have bee…

Stop trying to get them back — The long paragraphs, gifts, and romantic gestures are only pushing them away. A good rule of thumb is: if it seems like it would happen in a romance movie, don't do or say it. Those are fiction for a …

How to get over wanting love and relationships — Before, I was asking how to find love and a relationship, nowadays I realize its just not gonna happen. I used to believe there was someone for everyone, but now I realize its bullshit because if that…

My 10 yr relationship just got ended tonight at 9PM — I am writing this but I am still in shock and couldn’t process that on a random night, my 10 yr relationship just got ended. I cannot post in a wlw subreddit so I will be asking mg fellow women. For …

Specifically within this chart, is there an indication of a lack of prioritization and need for romantic partners ? — I hold many complicated and significant relationships with my friendships and family. I like to date, but nothing significant has occurred in a while. The last time I had a significant other of signif…

The reality regarding interracial dating for Asian men in the West — Hey everyone, Long-time lurker here. I was recently watching a RehabRoom video on youtube regarding whether or not height was the biggest disqualifier for ethnic men in American dating, where he p…

Free self help book and romance novel — FREE FREE FREE I have 2 self help books to get rid of toxic traits and 1 romance novel, the shaving mirror series and the cabin that fit, romance novel. message me with the book you want and an email…

How to ACTUALLY be alone? (Trigger warning: mentions of suicide) — Not sure if this is the right place to post this here. Coming to terms that I have an intense addiction to love and romance, going through TWO messy breakups in less than 6 months, unwillingly single …

Upbeat songs to cope — 25F, extremely lonely, hurt and grieving multiple things in my life right now, living in a corner of a big city that doesn't have anyone I know in it. I need music to cope but every time I listen to…

Close Friend Unicorn hunted my girlfriend while we were still together. I wish I wasn't worried about her. — The guy encouraged me to date her. Was my confidant during the talking stage and told me he wanted the best for me. Meanwhile he set himself up as emotional support for her and started slowly pursuing…

Help please???? — Hi, so for context. I’m a woman that has never really felt a strong connection to ‘womanhood’ or ‘womanlyness’ like normal women do. I usually avoid women’s groups/circles and just focus on me. Also, …

How to stop liking men? Or people in general? — Hi, so for context. I’m a woman that has never really felt a strong connection to ‘womanhood’ or ‘womanlyness’ like normal women do. I usually avoid women’s groups/circles and just focus on me. Also, …

Anyone else had a golden retriever husband/long-term partner that turned out to be a serial cheater/womanizer? — 2 years thankfully divorced, but still mind-fucked from that marriage. He was, and still is, the guy everyone loves and trusts and believes can do no wrong because "he's so good!" And none of them kno…

Boyfriend [27M] and I [27F] seem to be in misstep with each other, can it be fixed? — Throwaway account for obvious reasons. But basically, we have been dating for 2 years now, we are long distance, and as of now, I feel as if we are missing the mark with each other. I love him, he is…

Patterning for the health of the entire system — I’ve realised that a lot of my ‘manifesting’ desires have been solely focussed on my own individual wellbeing - mainly through finance and romance. I have had successful experiences, but they have ei…

If a skeptic can manifest anything, then so can you. — I was raised in a religious household by parents who loved to preach about manifestation and the law of attraction. I never really believed them, though, because what they talked about sounded too clo…

Why you should not check their social media - 4 scenarios — There are basically four scenarios that could play out when you check their social media: **Scenario 1:** Nothing has changed. They haven't posted anything, shared anything, etc. You get a tempora…

I really don’t know if I want to be in a relationship or not — TL;DR: been with boyfriend for 9 months, feeling like I don’t want to be romantic or spend a lot of time together anymore because I want to focus on myself. Don’t want to let go of something good but …

I created a podcast to help further the conversation between science and spiritually - Here's Ep 1 of Inquisitive Spirit! — **EDIT: HAD TO REUPLOAD. USE THE LINK AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS POST** Hello fellow Wanderers, Almost a decade after my spiritual awakening, the genesis of my quest, I have only recently realized that …

They don't really want you to 'think' for yourself — 'You were never like this before, someone has made you think, influence you in another direction away from our ideas.' Meanwhile I never ended up going out or doing things other people get to do when …

Me and my best friend problem with attachment — I (18m) have a girl best friend (18f) for two years now , we have a very strong friendship, long story short I confessed about a year ago she didn’t reciprocate but she said keep the feelings maybe on…

Boyfriend doesn’t have major red flags but I don’t feel loved [24F] [27M] — Unprompted effort is something I’ve always wanted in a relationship and to me it’s easy because it’s something I do naturally. Making time, thinking of surprises, checking-in. Basic relationship thing…

Predator or Stupidity? — \* trigger warning \* \*for adults \* sensitive topic I feel conflicted about something...and I wonder what others think... I went on a date with someone. it was pre-disclosed we were looking for…

burned out pursuer (?) leaving after exit affair(?) — My ex-girlfriend and I broke up the day before yesterday. After living together for a year, she's anxiously attached and said she's lost her feelings, that "there's no love there anymore." She's so un…

(25F) Not sure if I can stay with bf (25M) — 25M Bf and 25F (me) been together 3 yrs, happy and healthy up to now. Thought I wanted Bf to propose but not sure of the future anymore. Bf cheated a few yrs back and I let it go because Bf swore they…

I'm (29F) ready to throw in the towel on my 3 year LDR with my bf (39M) — Background: LDR for past 3 years. We met in my country while he was living here, he had to go back to his home country (11 hour flight away) after 6 months of knowing eachother for work reasons but it…

DAE feel like a Sim character who is totally out of control with their feelings, in that all the reasoning in the world doesn't put a dent in them? — There is nothing I'm in denial about and I know all of the things I need to know. I know I was unhappy when I was with him, I know I would continue to be unhappy with him, I know that eventually I wil…

I feel crazy — This past year was my first round of holidays without family. I was alone on my birthday. And I just can’t believe I have to live this life underpaid, with no romance, 3 friends in a nasty body with a…

How do I (f19) navigate moving on from my ex(f20) so quickly while my friends think I’m a bad person for it? — I broke up with my girlfriend of 7 months yesterday and a majority of the relationship felt like a friendship to me, so I’m not particularly attached to her in a romantic way or a way that one would b…

How much longer will this Saturn transit stall my life? — I've felt completely stuck in both finances and romance since 2023 (post-high school). I noticed Saturn has been transitng my 5th house and is now squaring my Sun. When does this restrictive energy fi…

Wanting love again — I (29F) stayed single most of my life, focusing on my education, career and life experiences. While I wasnt commitment phobic or anything, I always felt like romance would take away my freedom so I ne…

No hope for workaholic AP — My parents are raging workaholics, especially AF. He is 62 this year. I've personally been sensitive about work-life balance. I don't see him as my parent anymore, just a boss. My AM has been complain…

How Do You Learn To Enjoy Being Single? — Brief backstory to start with. Married at 19, first kid at 20. 26 years and three more kids later my ex decides this isn’t the life she wants. We spend a year separated and figuring things out, but…

How do i move on? — Hey guys, i have a slight dilemma. Let me just say my entire story. When I was 17 i was w my partner for almost 5 years. I love him but it became toxic, he cheated and what not. I fully trusted him he…

How do I get over him? — Ive blocked him and removed him on everything. Im angry at him for his self-sabotaging behavior and his lack of emotional maturity. I should have stayed broken up with him the first time but I let it …

My GF (24F) of 2 years is a hopeless romantic and I (23M) am hopeless at being romantic. Please help save my relationship! — \*\*TL;DR; My partner says we are over unless I become more romantic, please help save us?:\*\*. I have been with my GF (24F) for just under 2 years now, both very in love, both desperate to stick it…

I made it to 1 Year No Contact — I've recently passed 1 yr no contact. I'm very proud of myself. When I'd initially broken up with my ex, I tried the "let's just be friends" thing, but then two days later he immediately tried to get…

My [25M] best friend [36M] has "half ghosted" me, how do I deal with this? — Sorry, I understand the title may be confusing. We have been friends for over 5 years and in that time he has always been the greatest one I could ask for. He genuinely changed my life; the way I thou…

pain — people are EVIL!!! romance is EVIL!!!! all the beautiful people here, you deserve so much more, you are so capable, so full of love, so tender. my heart is breaking for everyone here. you deserve bett…

Why do I always think about someone I've never meet or know who he is ? — Since I was young, maybe around 5 years old, I’ve always imagine about a man who is obsessed and loves me.AlMOST EVERYDAY IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.But I’m not thinking about a specific person. I don’t real…

Omg twins. Hi! Yeah I hadn’t been in a romantic relationship at all for six years before I finally tried with this FA guy. In my last real relationship I was targeted by a psychopath and it fucked me …

I have anxious attachment but I get over people very quickly if I feel their interest wane. I think U could have a bit of romance/fantasy addiction. For people suffering that, they tend to fantasis…

Great observation. Ever since I've had a situationship with an avoidant, I came to notice this a lot in songs. I've heard them written seemingly from the perspective of each side... more commonly anx…

I'm a dismissive avoidant. I've never broken off a long-term relationship. And being alone is not challenging in the slightest. This isn't a universal DA thing I don't think. APs and FAs rebound faste…

Seems like a person who got spooked and having escaped unscathed has calmed down, reflected, and realized that perhaps their anxiety was irrational. And that is a good indicator that when times get to…

I think you have to go through a practice period where you see yourself in full relief. I don't believe that people with attachment disorders don't care. They live in a society that profits from ha…

I've been on the other end of this.. the push and pull was exactly my ex-girlfriend.. thank you for explaining your side. It's like you're speaking for her. She will never admit any of that in the day…

I am, Im not sure on their end. There seems to be flickers of romance but its too soon to truly know. But this is perhaps the struggle, I dont know what to make of their actions. Sometimes they reply …

That’s such a smart distinction because as anxiously attached we think we aren’t avoiding, but we are. Avoiding the feeling because it feels endless through food, alcohol, romance. When really it’s ac…

I think from chatting to avoidant or secure people replace Limerance with daydreaming about themselves, their own career or hobby goals, in the time we spend daydreaming about another person. So you c…

Cardio exercise is a big one for me. Joining a gym where they basically kicked my ass for a while 2-3 times a week did wonders for my mood, both because of the exercise and the other people being ther…

Text of original post by u/DaniT0n: Hey, super random, but a while back, my friend and I had this conversation. I was just sort of thinking about romantic relationships as friendships. It occurred to …

Previously extremely anxious in relationships, have never gent calm love. But then two years ago I met a man and wewere in the most secure, loving, beautiful relationship. No anxiety, in fact he purs…

Text of original post by u/BornEducation4428: I am quite curious to hear if there are those who are still in their own "wound care " (healing) of being outside of an anxiously attached situation or of…

I am a 65 year old professional man, happily married to another man 25 years. Recently I started reaching out to make more straight "bro" friends because I really don't like the gay scene, (gay men ta…

I am navigating a post-breakup friendship. I really thought long and hard about keeping this person in my life because yeah I know myself and the last thing I wanted was to spiral into an insecure dyn…

I could have written this post myself. I turn 27 in a month. And well, I have never been in a real relationship (although I dated for a while in a very avoidant non-committed way that makes me feel st…

The CPTSD is really helpful insight and I’m going to look more into that strategy you mentioned. I definitely think I need the fantasy to play out because of trauma surrounding rejection from when I w…

Not that it is a requirement, but is there any chance you could work with a therapist? Preferably one who works with people on their attachment wounds. I've found it really helpful in my healing journ…

Avoidants typically harshly assert distance when their subconscious feelings are coming the closest to being exposed though. They will also often keep people they have genuine feelings for in their or…

Yes. I'm secure, and have casual sex. I can seperate sex from romance. I can communicate and follow through with casual sex without feeling insecure about it.

Thanks for your input. Are your partners also secure? Do you do both short and long term casual romance?

I'm not sure that the separation of sex and romance implies secure attachment. Sex is a relational experience and it's not just genitals smashing into eachother. Whether you love that person or not.

No, not all my sexual partners are secure. I know what I'm looking for in a long-term partner. If they don't meet my requirements for long term partner, we can agree to have a hook up or something sho…

Tldr seeking advice for an anxious attachment whose my boyfriend has recently been diagnosed with depression Sorry it’s a little long! So basically at the beginning of last year I (27 F) started not…

Like others said it is fine to not want to participate in small talk. However, the point of the therapist is to give you feedback on your issues and problems w your mentality. He is doing his job when…

I understand where youre coming from. But the reality is there are “rules” to social interaction that you have to follow and if you don’t follow them you will be socially isolated. It’s just part of b…

Hi, avoidant aplspec aroace (the quadruple a!) here :) It's important to differentiate a trauma response with sexuality but it can be tricky. I think first things first, you should acknowledge whic…

Idk how to stop the rumination but I’ve been just not acting on it, understanding that I actually need to know what they do when not prompted for a response by me. Lately been calling myself a non-pra…

thanks for taking the time to write such a well-thought response!  for me i didn't worry about romance for a good while, assuming it would "become stronger" in the future. also things like never havi…

Thoughts please? I've had five dates with someone who I'm already having the best sex of my life with. I have been sexually disappointed throughout my romantic life and this is essentially my dream co…

You’re confusing chemistry spikes with compatibility. Healthy relationships are not supposed to feel exciting all the time. If they do, it’s usually because there’s instability, uncertainty, or interm…

FWIW, knowing NOTHING about your life aside from age and gender, I don't think it's unrealistic to be open minded to this. Having been single for six years now and looking at the possibility of taking…

That relationship moved like molasses in terms of romance. They were getting their phd at the time and we only hung out 2-3 times a week for the first couple years. Then we said it and were moved in…

I'm mildly DA, mostly with immediate family, not really in romance (though I still have some traits). What makes me feel most safe is feeling that I'd still find stability and happiness in most bad s…

“She was his Irish rose… he would fill the bath for her every night, put lotion on her body… he was obsessed with her” While watching a documentary about a wife killer I caught myself thinking wow wh…

Keep first dates strictly to coffee only to reduce cost and also keep expectations low. First dates are always just a vibe a check, most people are evaluating if you can carry a conversation with them…

I’m glad someone said it! Haha This guy couldn’t feel less enthused about the whole thing. There’s nothing here. The only reason he’s seemingly not sending the rejection text is because he said he’s…

rip my three month long cutie little romance. keeping it together at work has been roughhhh today

Im kind of in the same boat. I think environments that foster prolonged natural interaction are key for people like us. Pottery studios are a perfect example. Everyone just vibing to their own project…

I love that. I used to be a romantic, but through the years I’ve sort of lost that spark… it seems like every relationship I have starts like that and then it’s just kind of meh. But I also know that …

That's interesting because I would think the romance builds over time?

I watched Leap Year and now I'm unrealistically romanticizing the idea of meeting some hot European man, becoming enemies but forced to spend time together, and us falling madly in love with each othe…

I just want someone to watch romance movies and anime’s with me and then reenact them lol

>I think I have the ability to appreciate people and care about them deeply >even when I like someone and can imagine building a life with her, I just don’t *feel* anything. I think you need to re…

Never felt so seen in my life. But I beg to differ. You might be too guarded to feel these grand, overflowing feelings of limerence but you do care and you do love. Maybe you need to lower your expect…

I am a 32 Y/O M who has never had a relationship with a woman. I am a virgin, and can say I have barely even kissed a woman. Touch, intimacy, romance, love, and mutual desire is something I have never…

i think it’s fine to find out what he wants before you agree to meet up. “i could be down, is there something you wanted us to talk about?” that way if it’s an apology or a convo about moving forward …

Thanks, and I agree, I have been trying to look at it like that. However, when you're reading/watching a slow-burn romance you KNOW they'll get together in the end. it's harder in person when you don'…

I enjoyed it as a fun popcorn flick (albeit somewhat problematic), but don't go in expecting a faithful adaptation and I think people would enjoy it more. A little bit of steamy romance, a little bit …