broke up

I didn't read all of that.  He's paying off her car and paying her phone bill. They "broke up" five years ago.   

FA Ex who semi-ghosted me sent me this message 2 months later — I had posted in this group at the time when things between me and this guy who I really really care about sort of deteriorated. After that post he did come back and tried for about a week to reconnect…

If I could just stop deactivating!! (FA) — Follow up from some of my previous posts. I’m deactivating again. I think? Or maybe lost feelings for my partner and I’m just lying to myself and not wanting to let go. The thought of that makes me cr…

My DA bf broke up with me Saturday morning. — We’ve been together three years, living together for two. He (38m) wouldn’t ever give me (43f) emotional depth or physical connection. (I had to *ask* for hugs. Anything more was off the table.) Pri…

This is what happens when your FA ex comes back — This is my personal experience for those who are curious. Of course everyone will be different but I thought it might help those who are waiting or wishing (APs I'm talking mostly to you) Firstly the…

Starting over — Heya, I don’t want this to be a negative thread— looking for some positivity and hope maybe? I (34F) am recently out of a one year relationship. It was my first secure relationship in my entire adult…

A little look into how fearful avoidants operate (aka, how one of my relationships ended - twice - because I was unaware of my patterns) — When I was 21 and *severely* fearful avoidant I dated a secure guy who was wonderful in every way, but obviously not for me. I did everything stereotypical of a fearful avoidant attachment does in a…

Help me understand-anxious now ex bf + part avoidant ex gf — My anxious ex and I met in ‘22. Online I was a full dismissive avoidant I began to work on myself in October’23. Since October ‘23,I have been a dismissive avoidant in recovery Recently,I have …

Help me to recognise my attachment style please! — I (26F) am struggling with this a lot, since my patterns of romantic behavior don’t seem to fit neatly into any of the four categories (AA, FA, DA, SA). On the one hand, I clearly crave intimacy and…

The most painful relationship and breakup I've ever had, but it cracked me open so that I could heal. I created a text message llm analysis tool that revealed insecure attachment. — EDIT - TLDR; 8-month, high-intensity relationship. I was DA-leaning; she showed a lot of push–pull/negative lensing. We loved each other and still couldn’t repair, so we went NC. Post-breakup I focuse…

Detachment or deactivation? — Me (23M) and my ex (22F) broke up one month ago because she was feeling overwhelmed by some arguments we had due to changes in our lives (new place to live, new work). She's FA. I was secure for almos…

For avoidants (and those leaning/earned secure): is this avoidant behavior? Do you really move on—and why no closure? — For avoidants (and those leaning/earned secure): is this avoidant behavior? Do you really move on—and why no closure? I began therapy 4 months into our situationship because of how strong he came on,…

Will my ex FA ever stop resenting me? — I was with my ex (FA) for 2 years, amazing connection and relationship. She broke up after a rough period (lots of changes + frequent arguments, not too intense) saying she was overwhelmed. Later she …

This situation is too messed up — Hi everyone, I (20F) really need some guidance about my SP (19M). We’ve been on and off for the past 2.5 years, and our relationship has always been very messy constant fights, unnecessary arguments, …

How do you stop feeling of needing to be perfect? — I have no problem getting dates, but things always seem to end after 1-3 months. Sometimes, it was my decision to break up or it was theirs but I didn't disagree. But I've had guys dump me when I thou…

Physical Reaction — I will try to keep the backstory short. I had not known anxious attachment was a thing or that one of my coworkers had become one of only a couple people I really felt a deep connection to, until a f…

First Time Serious Connection With an Avoidant — I was in a relationship with an avoidant for around 3 months and everything was going well and we weren't moving too fast in my opinion. We had gone on dates and met each other's families. They had be…

Dating someone with a fearful-avoidant style has been unexpectedly… gentle? — I wanted to share a relationship experience that’s been genuinely interesting and surprisingly positive, especially for FAs and anyone curious about FA dynamics. If you are not interested in some per…

Did I make my Avoidance worse by pushing through it? — Hi all, I’ve been aware I have issues with commitment/avoidance my entire conscious life, but despite it I’ve always wanted to find love I didn’t meet my first boyfriend until I was 22, and it was l…

Happy and healing but still need to be "chosen." Advice welcome — I have been on a healing journey for my anxious attachment for a few years now. I am in a secure relationship where I have found a deeply vulnerable and safe connection and also know that if it ends I…

FA breakup & prolonged limbo - does avoidance calcify over time or can it still reverse? — I’m hoping to hear from people who’ve been through something similar, FAs, or anyone who has opinions on this. I was in a 2 year relationship with someone I later realized is fearful avoidant (I didn…

how to apply skills from therapy and date like a sane person? — tl;dr how to keep a connection going with a secure potential love interest who likes to be alone when you’re anxious-preoccupied af 😭 i’m a lifelong anxious-preoccupied and through years of Doing Th…

Should I meet up with my ex? — Back in November 2024, I went on a couple of dates with a guy from my friend group, “Frank” (41M now). Looking back, it’s obvious to me that he was a rebound, but I genuinely didn’t realize it at the …

I'm not sure about my attachment style but I want to discover it right now 'cause I want to start healing!!!!!! — Sorry for the long text, I want to be thorough. So, I just ended my first ever relationship. I'm 20, I'm a lesbian from a conservative background and had a lot of internalized homophobia and religiou…

Did your partnert felt like your mother emotionally? — I’m 26m and my partner 29f. We broke up almost a year ago but I cant cut my ties with her emotionally or spiritually . I dont want someone to be in her place so I don’t want to move on from her. Basi…

Mom is being kicked out — Parentified eldest daughter here. haven’t spoken to my recovering alcoholic mother in years. Doing so always sends me into a spiral. She puts herself in awful, high-risk situations, never chooses her …

Don’t Contact Your Ex. For Anything. Let Go Quietly. They Watch You for Access Without Intent. — We had a bad breakup. He was very cold and distant at the end, as always (we broke up several times). He made a joke about how I can be single and rushed me off our last phone conversation when I was …

It does get better (dumped by an avoidant) (personal advice that helped me) — Too anyone who deems themselves as a hopeless romantic, anxiously attached, etc, this may relate to you. After three months of what I thought was the worst time of my life, it truly gets better. T…

Wife cheated on me with multiple men over the course of 3 months. — Me (31m) found out this past December that my wife (27f) had been talking to as many as 20+ people on Snapchat (non nude but inappropriate photos, sexting, ect.). I confronted before new years by tell…

Ex going on dates and hooking up — Me and my ex boyfriend broke up 2 months ago and he’s already going on dates and hooking up with them? I’ve been with him for 3 years and as soon as we broke up he was on the apps going on dates again…

Broke up with DA after a year. — Met her a year ago, almost to the day. Things started well, relatively slowly which was nice for a change compared to other situations I have been in around that time. After two months, we became offi…

Ran into my ex today with her new boyfriend and it hit me harder than expected — Earlier today I bumped into my ex in the city, walking hand in hand with a guy. The moment she saw me, she immediately let go of his hand, looked down at her phone, and sort of moved behind him while …

My husband cheated and is now the meanest person I’ve ever met — I really just need to rant because I feel like I’m going to lose my mind. So my (30F) husband (38M) cheated on me 4 days after my 30th birthday. To go into more detail, he snuck out of our house while…

What are your social lives like? — Recently I saw a few comments here like “I have weekly activities scheduled every day of the week” and “this guy could only meet me one a month because of social obligations” and… I know I’m more of a…

Break up + no contact update (post 4 months) — I thought I’d give an update into my healing progress since my breakup, in hopes to shed a little light on the small positives that can come from heartbreak. For context, my ex and I broke up in Octob…

A lot can change, if you allow it to. — It’s my time to give back to this community. Just to put a perspective to things, I don’t mean to boast. I am not very talented, just stubborn and a hard worker. If I can transform my scenario, so c…

I ran into my ex and his new girlfriend. Crashing out. — So sad and discouraged in my healing. He and his new gf got together when we’d still been dating and the breakup was messy. I thought I was getting to a good place but seeing them together has me in a…

Seinfeld-esque reasons you broke up with someone — Ill start! (42m) I dated a girl during the pandemic who did this annoying sniffing thing, where she had nasal drip and instead of blowing her nose, she would sniff the mucus intermittently. I think I…

How to permanently stop feeling romantic love for anyone? — wasn’t sure I needed a TL;DR here, but I’ll put it anyway: how do I turn off my ability to feel love for anyone, ever? hi all, I (M,33) have not had a whole lot of luck with dating. I try to stay s…

She started hooking up with multiple guys right after our break-up... — My ex (F25) and I (M29) were together for almost 4 years. She broke up with me on the first of March. I respected her decision and we said goodbye with respect and love. The past few months were defin…

Do romantic relationships ever work with enmeshed parenting? — When my ex and I broke up I told him that his mom was going to make his marriage miserable. She disapproved of/disrespected me and we could see it wasn't going to work out. I don't hate him, but I'm o…

how do you live with the harm you've caused in the past? — Four months ago, I broke up with my ex. We were going through a rough patch but from their perspective, it was nothing we hadn't gone through before. I completely blindsided and discarded them (a term…

UPDATE: My (32f) fiancé (28m) repeatedly does not clean the house — Hello lovely reddit. First relevant links. My first post I deleted (so you can peruse the comments if you are interested): [https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/18yjl0g/my\_32f\_fianc%C3%…

Broke up with me because his father didnt want him to be distracted from his career. Why cant I forget him? — As the title mentions. I (DOB 30.12.1993, first chart) was best friends with this boy (DOB 13.10.1994, second chart) from 2013 and we started dating in 2014 beginning. The relationship was a very good…

Beware of taking back the ex that broke up with you and wanted to rekindle with you — Let this be your testimony that you are much better without them. My ex of 7 years and I rekindled after a couple months of no contact. She broke up with me cause she said she relied on me too much an…

I can’t stop thinking about her — I feel like I’m going insane. I cannot stop thinking about my ex girlfriend. It has been 3 1/2 years since our relationship first ended. And after the first breakup(6 months in), I ended up getting ba…

Understanding Infidelity — Last year, I (25M) broke up with my now ex girlfriend (26F). We were together for 3 years and were living together at the time, but I discovered that she was cheating on me with a coworker of hers for…

Ex confronted me, then broke down. — About a month ago, my ex broke up with me because she said she was "confused." I immediately went No Contact. didn’t beg, didn’t text, just started focusing on myself and moving on. Last night, we bo…

I (26F) told my boyfriend (26M) I sometimes miss the freedom of being single and he broke up with me on my birthday — I (26F) have been with my boyfriend (26M) for about 2.5 years. A couple nights ago we were lying down together and having a really open conversation about different things going on in our lives. The …

When does “just being single” cross into being non-monogamous? — If someone is having sex with multiple people, on an ongoing basis, I always thought that was polyamory/ENM. I myself automatically go exclusive after the first time I sleep with someone, and verball…

Discard/sudden breakup?! — Three months ago months ago I met a woman and had an intense, genuine connection. In under 8 weeks we spent 18-20 days together. She said she cared about me first, unprompted. We made future plans tog…

everything about this. i went NC, moved on from my ex, and entered a happier relationship. and yet he’s still stalking my socials and on in my DMs trying to win me back. you broke up with me dude, t…

Yes!! it took me 8 months to completely cut the cord with all the BS after we broke up because he wanted to linger on but he was moving on with other girls while he had me like stupid hanging on. And …

My ex right now. ..it's manipulative. Calling me everyday then sending a passive aggressive text when he sees I'm not answering any of his calls. You broke up with me, why are you bothering me?

Im struggling so hard with moving on, even though it wasnt my fault that we broke up. It feels awful

Yea! My ex is doing the same thing, I went no contact after HE said he needed time and space. He’s the one who broke up with me. he continues to text me and add me on Instagram every other day. I dele…

Exactly. It’s also not true. They aren’t thinking about you. They don’t care what you’re doing and don’t want to know which is why they broke up with you in the first place.

I'm into 24 hrs of no contact. 3.5 yrs and I kept giving him chance after chance, just for him to do more effed up crap to destroy my heart. I broke up with him for good this time. I can see my bl…

What if I ruined the chance of possibly not getting back together due to me being an emotional abuser??For example, she broke up with me because of unhappiness, goal of finishing her college degree, a…

I just need to vent: 10 years wasted would’ve been our 11th in a few weeks. We broke up last week due to an argument that we had. We were supposed to go to a concert together. She asked me “what time…

Aww im sure you would be able to find a partner that love you despite your autism. My ex is autistic too. He broke up with me and didnt even explain the reason behind the breakup. It hurts so much. …

Wow I’m so sorry you’re going through this! It’s nuts how common our stories are. I always felt like I was being dragged around by Eric and he could never just tell me “it’ll never work out” Just brea…

I broke up but she didn't want to get back. It's my fault but she wasn't a Saint either. Immaturity on both ends. I have paid for my mistakes in heartache and tears. I hope you get the person who ch…

The best advice I could give is to envision this, if you are having a hard time holding on to this vision for hoping the future will lead you to back together and you will not let anything happen to p…

I cheated on my wife back when she was still my girlfriend. I found out that my girlfriend of a couple months was pregnant. I lost my mind for a couple of weeks and went and cheated with my ex. I lied…

If they broke up with you, out of nowhere, it really doesn't. They don't care. And you shouldn't either!

My ex broke up with me, I only sent him one message and link discussing ED. Stated "read it or don't". After that I muted all possible ways he'd contact. Had fair share of bitter tears and lost weight…

This is the way. My ex broke up with me last week on the phone before my dentist appointment. I had to cut the call short because I needed to make my appointment. I lied about watching a sad show on m…

It’s 1 month to a year since we broke up and I’ve never heard a word from her except 4 months into the no contact where she asked me to take her off the lease… I’m still struggling everyday and miss h…

Timing can be addressed thoughtfully, though. My ex (with whom I had gone ring shopping and planned to get married - the same ex who convinced me not to freeze eggs because it would be a waste of time…

So pardon the length (I haven't told anyone yet) and thank you for reading. I might have a crush on a good friend ("Steve") who I've reconnected with after a few years of not hanging out. We didn't …

I think it really depends on the partner and how willing they are to communicate. In my last relationship I was avoidant leaning secure and my partner was preoccupied. There were certain things I thou…

Or before going on a rant about an "avoidant discard" consider maybe someone just broke up with you because it wasn't working for them. People aren't obligated to stick around forever trying to for…

It's a theory, as that'd what it is. It may work for some, it may not for others. Its essentially a basic CBT method to help you break a loop of rumination and understand you can have 2 opposing thou…

It's a theory, as that'd what it is. It may work for some, it may not for others. Its essentially a basic CBT method to help you break a loop of rumination and understand you can have 2 opposing thou…

I've been experiencing something similar, broke up in December. In my mind, it's almost as if the person I knew and loved severed (like from the show Severance) themselves and returned from a trip as …

I'm pretty sure my ex bf was FA. He claimed he was anxious but the trauma he experienced and his behaviors leading up to our breakup kind of point to FA. He broke up with me for just shutting down. Li…

So he's great when he's not triggered, but he gets triggered every couple of weeks. That's not a rare occurrence, it's very often. Replace this with any other issue whether attachment related or not…

Living through this right now. Was dating a DA last year and I really liked her, but she would put me down and be generally disrespectful at times. She would often say things that minimized our relati…

I'm currently in the same boat. My ex broke up with me 2 months ago. She is definitely FA. The app idea is what works for him. Every relationship is different. That's the only solution that he found o…

This is great advice. DAs tend to repeat the same cycle over and over, from what I've read it's very rare for them to break it. They typically distract themselves with a new relationship, to avoid pro…

My ex broke up with his gf moments before asking me to dinner 🙃 We were both DA but I was pretty far along in my healing process, he hadn't even begun his. He was like the DA final boss in so many wa…

Something along the lines of, "oh we *just* broke up recently, but our relationship has been dead for over a year." Basically make it sound like he's been processing it for a long time, but the truth …

Bro my fa ex is with someone else now , we just broke up 2 weeks ago like …. , after 2 years she just moved on like that ?

👏👏👏👏👏 It also makes you (the anxiously attached person doing the derailing) look like an absolute lunatic. Leaving no doubt about why your "narcissistic ex” broke up with you.

Me and my ex broke up 2 weeks ago. She told me these exact words. What should I take away from it?

No I don’t and while I think you have some fair and good points, for some reason you’re very emotionally attached and aggravated by this.This is just a personal rant on some perceived grievance you ha…

Everyone on these boards has healing to do, so that's not some "gotcha", my friend. >for some reason you’re very emotionally attached and aggravated by this.This is just a personal rant on some perce…

This picture was taken in Marseille, where my ex and I had our first (unforgettable) date a couple of months ago. We were walking around the city at night, so in love. It felt like we were perfect for…

I’m going through the same thing right now. He went from telling me how much he loved me to being rude and broke up with me over the phone with no explanation. I moved to be closer to this guy. We’ve …

he came back after about 3 days after this post, then tried very clumsily to reconnect, but it was very weird and like he was a completely different person. then he called me and tried to act like not…

Awful communicator=terrible partner For me anyway. Just broke up with someone who ghosted me and asked for a break. No thank you!

Ha, I could have written this. I spent a year with someone as I worked through my issues and we both didn’t immediately realize he was avoidant. Part of your healing should also be disengaging from s…

So true. I was a secure and became anxious after being with an avoidant for 24 years. I became secure again and after 14 years of being broke up, he love bombed me, we got back together. It was great …

I am a FA and I have someone in my life that brings out my avoidance. I used to push away when they would even want a hug but now I don’t fight against it and I give hugs when they need it. It helps a…

CBT helped me significantly but it definitely burned a hole in my pocket. There is self guided CBT though which you could try. After getting into CBT I realized talk therapy really wasn’t enough for m…

Yeah, thats understandable and I feel/felt the same. We were together previously and I broke up with him because he wasn't aware and he just cycled through anxious lashing out during arguments or de…

My DA ex broke up with me stating that “he needs to work on himself alone”. He ended up dating someone new the next week. These people are broken and will not act in your best interest, please cut him…

Well, he broke up with me, saying he’s not good for me - or anyone - so it’ll be further down the line *IF* it’s ever revisited at all. I will not be the one to pursue it, though. I’ve put in *yea…

it’s like reading my own story except i was the one asking to break up for him to fight for me cuz he was deactivated to the point of wanting no sex at all and saying hurtful things to me. we broke up…

thank you so much for sharing your story ❤️ im glad to hear you are learning to regulate yourself. This is a long journey, but it’s worth it. I have been working on my AP attachment style, my goal is …