confused

For what feels like the 10th time I've found myself in the same situation: - Meet someone online that I have a lot in common with who indicates they are looking for a long term relationship - Have 3 …

Post-quality time cool down? Is this a pattern for DAs? — My (FA) therapist and I (lol) may have noticed a pattern with my partner (DA); after an increased amount of quality time together (compared to our usual 1+ times per week), or increased amount of mess…

Confused about affirmations — Hey guys i am confused about self concept and beliefs. Like i am currently unemployed and want a remote job i have few beliefs like i dont have the right network connections I need to get skilled a lo…

Can we talk about how bad the current Shopify Admin UI is? — How has this continued to be a thing, and how did this get approved internally? The Shopify Admin UI is a complete mess. It's genuinely hard to believe this shipped — and worse, that it's still the c…

How to get companies to even VIEW my portfolio. — I have 6 years experience as a UX/UI designer, 2 of those years were at an agency and the most recent 4 are at a pretty big company. I have recently been applying to jobs with my most recent work and …

What could cause massive spikes in Impressions on Google Search Console? — I am getting massive spikes once a week. From 4000 to 16,000 impressions. But clicks do not increase and these are lowering my CTR. We arent doing anything special on these days - no emails - no marke…

Pricing Doubt — I am a web developer who has just ventured into freelancing. A client wants me to create an eLearning website with LMS, booking system integrated. Basically a dynamic website. I'm confused as to how…

Thoughts on a platform that can give AI suggestions layered on top of product documentation (i will not promote) — **AI suggestions layered on top of product documentation** Hey r/startups, I’m exploring a product idea and would love to hear your thoughts. **The problem:** Many users land in product documenta…

Brightedge for SEO. Please help. — I just got onboarded as a SEO professional for a company that uses Brightedge and frankly I'm a little overwhelmed and confused with the tool. I'm used to using SEMrush, but can't understand the sugge…

Why ex-tech creators are bad fit for conferences? — I haven’t been to many design-related conferences throughout my career, but I decided to give a CoCreate Conference a shot. I won’t go into the event organization here – just the speakers. From what I…

Is this normal? CSS — I was taught there are three main styling approaches: CSS Modules, CSS-in-JS, and utility frameworks like Tailwind. I also learned that it's important to write clean, organized styles with good class …

Which Hosting to choose for a website with ~100 pictures uploaded per day by users — The website is mostly of the pictures posted by users. Please advice any good cloud storage that is easily scalable. My dev told me to go with digital ocean. They have so many pricings and I am lil co…

Strange WordPress Login Activity – Need Help Understanding — I've set up a new website, and **I'm the only one who has the login credentials**. However, I'm seeing **many login attempts recorded**, and I'm not sure who is trying to log in or why. I had installe…

Changing font of only one number or letter in paragraph — Hello, I’m fairly new to Wordpress but not entirely. I am barely familiar with coding, but hoping to become moreso. I am wanting to change the font of a single number in a paragraph sentence. Any adv…

After raising for 7 startups, my pitch decks have fallen into three categories (I will not promote) — Over the years, I've raised funding for 7 startups. I've also raised for startup funds and stare at a hundred pitch decks a month. Based on the patterns, I've realized my pitch decks have fallen into …

What makes an anxious attached person feel loved? — I’m a dismissive avoidant in recovery. That means I have been working on myself. I would consider myself slightly secure but not secure enough to call myself secure Anyway, my boyfriend is anxious…

Help me understand-anxious now ex bf + part avoidant ex gf — My anxious ex and I met in ‘22. Online I was a full dismissive avoidant I began to work on myself in October’23. Since October ‘23,I have been a dismissive avoidant in recovery Recently,I have …

Help me to recognise my attachment style please! — I (26F) am struggling with this a lot, since my patterns of romantic behavior don’t seem to fit neatly into any of the four categories (AA, FA, DA, SA). On the one hand, I clearly crave intimacy and…

Detachment or deactivation? — Me (23M) and my ex (22F) broke up one month ago because she was feeling overwhelmed by some arguments we had due to changes in our lives (new place to live, new work). She's FA. I was secure for almos…

What would one call this attachment style? — I feel as tho I'm a pretty particular mix, cause I'm not exactly healthy, but the other labels don't exactly resonate either. I suppose it roots from two main things. One, I was bullied and ostracized…

I’m genuinely confused by the adverse effects since starting to do the programming — Yeah yeah, I’m one of those. I have been on a SP mission for almost three months now. We started in a semi okay place, even though it’s a long distance thing and I’m programming for us to be in a rela…

DA Downplaying friendship — I have a self-confessed avoidant friend (I am secure). We dated very briefly but ended it because he said he couldn’t do serious relationships and I didn’t want to continue something ambiguous, catch …

Trying to navigate a "casual" relationship — Hi everyone, I (30F, trans) have been talking to/seeing a woman (24F, cis) for about 5 months. The chemistry is legitimately the strongest I’ve ever experienced - emotional, intellectual, creative, s…

I'm not sure about my attachment style but I want to discover it right now 'cause I want to start healing!!!!!! — Sorry for the long text, I want to be thorough. So, I just ended my first ever relationship. I'm 20, I'm a lesbian from a conservative background and had a lot of internalized homophobia and religiou…

Help me understand what happened here after around 2 months of dating and talking with someone I knew from 7 years ago — Hey all, I need some perspective on this to help me process. I'm 33M. I met this girl (30F) about 7 years ago when we were both working at a bar. We always got on really well and hooked up one ni…

Can someone pls explain to me if it’s a blood moon and ECPLIPSE moon then how would we even be able to see it? — On top of that 6 planets are aligned so I’m confused what are we supposed to see?

Super confused about movement of planets through the houses — Why would the planets go up to the twelfth house then into the eleventh, tenth, ninth instead of going through the houses 1-12? side question which way does the zodiac belt move

How do I know if I've emotionally checked out or just a protesting behaviour? — I am at a point where I feel withdrawn and not want to talk to a close friend, after repeatedly being let down. "Let down" is probably too harsh. The cultivating event was when I reached out seeking s…

Don’t Contact Your Ex. For Anything. Let Go Quietly. They Watch You for Access Without Intent. — We had a bad breakup. He was very cold and distant at the end, as always (we broke up several times). He made a joke about how I can be single and rushed me off our last phone conversation when I was …

My boyfriend and I had an argument over his marriage demands, and now he claims he means none of it... — Tl:dr: My boyfriend of two years has a list of requirements from me after we get married, and after our argument over it, which lead us to break up-- he said he didn't mean any of it and wants to go …

DDay - 2/19/2026 - Online Emotional Affair Led to Full Blown Infidelity — I found out my wife was going on “solo” concert trips, but was also using them as a way to vacation with a guy she had been talking to online for years. Seventeen years together and seven years marri…

i dont know what to do (relationship) — Im 22 and my dating history is very sparse because i always suffered with rather low self esteem and mental issues. Over the past years ive been opening up and evolving personally, also trying out the…

Has anyone else experienced something very feeling strange ever since the election of the current American President?? — Hello everyone. This might be an unusual post to make at this time. However, I am looking forward to see if anyone has experienced anything similar or exactly what I have experienced. Before earlier i…

I Genially Think My (35F) Husband (36M) is a Psychopath — Hi everyone, please I need help. I’m 35F and my husband is 36M. We’ve been married for 10 years and have two boys (7 and 5). I honestly don’t know what to think anymore. About three months ago my hus…

Questions on Seneca's Letters — Hey everyone, I am working my way through Seneca's letters to Lucilius. The translation I have is by Margaret Graver and A. A. Long. I am a bit confused by what Seneca's views on feeling emotions ar…

My dad (56M) cut me off (21) for sleeping over at my boyfriend’s house. Now he’s blowing up at me and ruining our relationship beyond repair. — \-Sorry had to repost due to not having line breaks. I’ve always had a complicated relationship with my dad. He’s very controlling and has always been a “helicopter” parent when I was growing up. I a…

My Fiancé kicked me out with only a few hours notice — This is the situation I am in. About a week ago my fiancé (25 M) brought up how he has some problems with me (25 F). We have been together for almost three years. He said he cant bring up sensitive to…

Why are therapists/psychiatrist vague about whether you were abused or not? — I've been going to therapy for years but I keep getting confused on whether or not I was abused because my psychiatrist keeps saying stuff like "It could be abuse" then suddenly going "They could be r…

read this if you are confused — Yes I have shifted, here is the mindset that brought me to this point. If this does not resonate with you move on. For those who follow the Law of Assumption, non duality etc I intend this will make …

Block them. That's all I have to say. — So, in July last year I went through this HORRIBLE heartbreak. And when I say it was a really awful breakup, trust me, it was. Almost four years of a strong relationship ended in a 5-minute call. My e…

My (18F) girlfriend told me she is taking 5 days to think over if we should break up. What should I (19M) do? — TL;DR my girlfriend has reached a breaking point and told me she’ll consider being together but as of now we aren’t. Me and my girlfriend have been together for nearly 2 years and met our senior year…

My [30F] husband [34M] may be a functioning alcoholic — Buckle in because this is a long post. Tl;dr my husband drinks and I am sick of it. (TW: mention of miscarriage) Throwaway account because I need advice and I am at my wits end. I have been with my h…

My therapist seems to forget? — So, I’ve been seeing my therapist for a few months now. I see him weekly, and yesterday I was discussing my struggles with being perceived without being “perfect”. I told him due to being bullied as a…

Will i get married if i pursue my phd abroad? I'm turning 29 in two months and if I accept my phd offer, it'll start in June. The country im going to has few Indians only. — 28f. Worried and confused.

My (19f) boyfriend (19m) keeps telling me I’m at high risk of diabetes. How do I address this? — I am a 19 year old woman. I am 5 foot 9 inches tall (177cm), my body weight is 67kg, my BMI is 21.4, body fat percentage is 15.8%, and body fat mass 10.6kg. I go to the gym 5 days a week and perform c…

Discharged after a 3 star Google review — Hi! I have autism so I sometimes have a hard time figuring out how I come across . But I was at a practice that provided both APRN services and therapy . I posted a three star Google review saying I …

My mom was supposed to pick me up after surgery. Instead my son took the bus. — I’m in my 50s and still unpacking things about my mom. Growing up, she was always extremely emotionally absent. There was almost no affection, no comforting, and very little interest in my inner life…

Manifested a $32K scholarship with accidental SATS!!! — Hi all :) I have a pretty amazing success story that I’d love to share, and I hope it may motivate some of you in your manifestation journeys 😊 Basically, I accidentally manifested a $32,000 scholar…

Crazy experience “timeline hopper” — I’ve been lucid dreaming since I was about 12/13, and I’m now 23. I trained myself into it years ago and now I lucid dream every morning which sometimes can be annoying because it affects my sleep. I’…

Started gateway this week. I’m confused — Hello! I admittedly don’t have the most knowledge about the gateway tapes. I’ve listening to a couple podcast episodes about them but it sounded like this intense experience where you will astral pr…

Advice on how to deal with parent giving ultimatum over my relationship — I'm a 28 year old gay Asian male currently living in an East Asian country for my job, away from my home country and my parents. All my life, I had a great and loving relationship with my parents. I w…

What does this mean - the fact that we astral project unconsciously anyway every night? Is this implying dreaming or something we don't remember? I'm confused

What are you talking about specifically? I thought this was a good starting guide with a ton of links. It's mainly just links honestly, so kinda confused what you're talking about.

Hi! Just saw this post (I know late to the game) I felt a pulling almost like a dragging thru a tunnel back to my body. Is that what you experienced? This happened 2x in one night for the first time i…

I had a really concerning dream just now and fear of my boyfriend didn't wake me up something bad was going to happen to me.. It started off in a house I've never seen before the kitchen was upstairs…

Huh what are you all taking about. I'm 🤔 confused. What is going on. Are you guys mad at me or r something

Wow I’m so sorry you’re going through this! It’s nuts how common our stories are. I always felt like I was being dragged around by Eric and he could never just tell me “it’ll never work out” Just brea…

After all is said and done. My one true key belief is that YOUR BELIEFS SHAPE YOUR REALITY. Good or bad. Right or wrong. How you feel about everything in your life is what receive from it. It’s th…

This explains how I let things get so out of control with avoidant types as I’m an introvert and quite secure independent and confident but after a year I started feeling like the relationship wasn’t …

We knew each other ten years ago… it was an easy going relationship then we didn’t end up together he went away disappeared when his father passed away he was not in a good place so it was done … then…

Right. It’s starting to feel like a circle jerk (that I am definitely a part of). I think people get confused because of the cognitive dissonance of them being caring and love bombing and then neglect…

This isn’t an AP sub, so I’m confused by your confusion. Yes, this is a topic that interests me. Same reason you’re here, I’d assume. What an odd thing to say.

Thank you, I have learned a lot from your comments here, and I agree the index answers so many questions that I genuinely get confused how people ask questions that are answered in the index.

Pretty sure I was an FA (schizophrenic dad, sadistic mom who wanted to abort me—I took care of the family’s emotional needs, disregarded my own). I was still confused/hurting 2+ years post no contact…

Correct me if I’m wrong, but your comment has me confused from the tons of reading I’ve done on attachment styles. Am I missing something?

Used it at my workplace a few years back to manage Ruby and Python versions on our servers and on workstations. It was really good at not messing with library paths unlike some other tools at the time…

It all depends if you plan to raise funding. Of the answer is yes, start marketing now. Investors won’t fund you to hire an agency at least until you figure it out. If the answer is no, and you have t…

>am I dealing with a DA/FA or this man is just making a fool out me? Por qué no los dos? He is textbook FA and he is absolutely bsing you. You are well off not participating in those hot and cold ga…

Thanks for sharing your perspective :) no we didn’t really break up yet, I first accepted to still see him casually cause I do like him and thought that maybe it would work out fine being casual for a…

Thanks for your supportive comment 😊I definitely think anyone’s energy is better spent elsewhere than in these dynamics. But sometimes they hurt and make you feel confused

In a healthy relationship it’s normal for someone to ask for space the smoking thing is something you have to work through on your own since it’s your own ick it’s the past let it go he said he wouldn…

This is truly the master list I've been recently confused by the "don't give compliments to you" part – why?? I've never experienced this prior to my recent relationship which I have now thankfully l…

[We just had a discussion about this in the AvoidantAttachment subreddit.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AvoidantAttachment/comments/1kp4duk/the_hottest_hot_take/) What you're describing is very indicativ…

Lol yeah if they get really confused, like "huh? Healed? I didn't need to 'heal'..." there's your answer.

I am confused: why are you getting downvoted? I thought your comment is valuable, or at least it rings true.

This post takes 5 different topics and mixes them together into a mess which would confuse someone who's new to the Law of Belief and Joseph Murphys teachings. 1.Taking conventional action towards y…

I have just learned about attachment Theory and believe my partner is avoidant( not sure if da or fa as still a bit confusing to me) I felt like my avoidant partner was putting me through test. At the…

I understand the thought patterns here, and I definitely see how expectations are triggering for avoidant types. But I've also found many of them project what they assume my expectations are onto me? …

As a regular of that sub, I dare to disagree. While it's indeed true people (and early on myself included, until I knew better) confuse or wrongly attribute abusive patterns and narcissism to avoidant…

>While it's indeed true people (and early on myself included, until I knew better) confuse or wrongly attribute abusive patterns and narcissism to avoidant attachment, I don't think it's intentional. …

Haha...the only link I have sent him recently, for real, is a link to my Amazon wish list to get my apology gift. I've talked to him before about it and he's not willing to do the work or go to therap…

Of wanting to be in a relationship, if he was ready for fully committing, and he was EXTRA scared of hurting me. He knew he liked me but being in a relationship felt stressful. And I was able to stay …

Something doesn’t add up to me. When someone deactivates in my experiences they don’t stay the same with you and just stop being affectionate only, especially not if you are secure and they are DA. If…

People who are securely attached are often more than their attachment style because their behavior isn’t constantly filtered through anxiety or emotional defense mechanisms. They’re not performing saf…

No, you’re hurting this person and potentially other people by being unsure and confusing. Let her go since you’re confused, it’s selfish to string her along.

Your story might be my story if he didn’t break up with me (of course, with having a mature conversation). It lasted a month, and we were thrilled until we first met and it became real and fantastic –…

I‘m seriously struggling to find boundary lines as well. I‘m often confused about what’s still in the realms of healthy behavior and what isn’t, or how to be sure that someone’s a good fit for you. In…

Help me to recognise my attachment style please! I (26F) am struggling with this a lot, since my patterns of romantic behavior don’t seem to fit neatly into any of the four categories (AA, FA, DA, SA…

’m in a really difficult spot with my boyfriend. We’ve been together since late 2021, and recently he’s been second-guessing our relationship. I think im anxious and he’s avoidant. I’m 22 and he’s 25 …

Hello yall maybe I can find some support in here, I'll try to simplify as much as I can. So me and ex partner/best friend reconnected about 2 months ago and we both said we're gonna do our best. No la…

So I was talking to a girl with avoidant attachment for over a month. Love bombed instantly and there was also some level of attraction but we took a step back from it and said to be friends because s…

Recently in a therapy session I was talking about how confused I was about my ex and his actions that are just so confusing. And she told me “Maybe that’s just who he is, confusing” and it kinda helpe…

omg yes I was so confused,literally thought I deleted it or mis-pressed the post button

Forgive me for being thick, but I think I just became even more confused. I read both posts and just finished reading the link to the post by Marsh273, you shared. I have read quite a few of them in …

I’ve been dating someone whose behavior seems to text book match a lot of what I have read about Dismissive Avoidant and Fearful Avoidant. They are somewhere in between the two, but I would say mostly…

This might not be the exact comment that you are expecting but i would just like to say that it’s understandable that you’re confused you’ve done so much honest reflection already :) From what you sha…

Ok now i'm confused actually. She was anxious all of the relationship that lasted two years. But the reasons for the breakup was being overwhelmed by a lot of changes in our lifestyles that we had dif…

Fr I just posted about needing advice and was so confused where it went

I'm going through it with a friend and just need some perspective. I'm not sure what type of avoidant attachment they are, just that they have expressed being avoidant. I'm AP, trying to move towards …

I need to vent and word-vomit my story, in this community, as I just found it and it might really help me. Can someone tell me what they think? My avoidant attachment gf broke up with me (anxious att…

Was she avoidant? I dated this girl for almost a year. At first, I didn’t think she was avoidant. She was good at communicating her boundaries, was consistent with everything, and made me feel secur…