smothering

What's ironic is I think this question was published about the time my ex and I were breaking up, though not entirely for this reason. He worked from home and I worked in the office about two days a w…

Feeling smothered by an AP friend… — This is part reflection/observation, and part question at the bottom. It’s interesting and a bit funny to me, I rarely feel avoidant in my attachments. The test I took for this sub, showed all secur…

Struggling with the consequences of my hypersexuality as a lesbian — I've recently realized that almost all of my problems are connected to my hypersexuality. I've hooked up with a lot of women, and I just end up in really uncomfortable situations because of it. I've b…

My wife of 8 years has been cheating on me for 4 months — We have been married 8 years together 12 total. ive always tried to support her the best i could. when she wanted to go full freelance illustrator a few years back i tried to make it work by switching…

>The test i took for this sub, showed all secure relationships except one, shich became avoidant due to smothering. what test??

I'm glad you recognized the bias for yourself. It's so noticeable as an avoidant, as I carry many scars from APs (not demonizing all of them, just obviously insecure attachment is a two sided coin.) S…

I agree it’s a bid for connection, but it’s sort of like, with the particular people I’m thinking of, they are seeking me to reassure them instead of to actually connect. It’s often trying too hard, a…

You just described my marriage to an AP and why it was so damn exhausting. Their lack of self-awareness (even after learning about AT) is astounding. During our divorce, my ex painted himself as the v…

I type out messages with vulnerable content so that I can send them to my SO, but I end up deleting them because it feels icky and unsafe. Even if he's been supportive in a way that is both caring and…

This type of question doesn’t really have a “one size fits all” answer and everyone will have different needs and opinions when it comes to how much time they prefer to spend together with their partn…

Everything she’s saying is probably true, even if it sounds contradictory because the scale is probably different for her. What one person considers descrptions of relating, like “frequent” or “vulner…

I’m not sure what you describe has anything to do with your attachment style. Women are very picky, they have to be in an evolutionary sense. We risk a lot with pregnancy and so forth, so we have to m…

The feeling of disgust and smothering definitely have to do with attachment style. Not sure about the popularity stuff though.

You and the OP describe same/similar pattern to OP…. attraction then repulsion. That IS a big FA marker. I’m a recovering FA as well. The pattern is: desire or crave intimacy, and when we meet it, it …

I'm sorry to hear about what happened with your spouse, that's a cruel twist of fate. A similar thing seems to be happening to me. I've been trying to do better (I'm still a ways off being healed) I d…

I knew my current partner was secure because he has his own life, does his own thing some days and shows me a good amount of affection but it’s not smothering. He doesn’t need constant validation. H…

I could’ve written this. People saw me as spoiled because of the gifts and attention I got, but it would swing from smothering with ott flattery and gifts to me being less than dirt so fast. Even the …

This, OP! The last time I thought that I wanted to be single, I realized it was because the relationship was smothering me. He ended up breaking up with me over steak done-ness (I made h medium, he wa…

Making every night as a rule is a bit extreme, he'll feel like you're smothering him and so that's why he seems to be going out of his way to be independent/get alone time. That urge doesn't mean he d…

Smothering? Sitting with his family is too much to ask?

For me I think that discernment is coming with experience, but tools that are helping me reach that are journalling, therapy and telling a couple of trusted friends - not fellow avoidants! Bonus point…

As a teen I was told in therapy I was introverted, very empathetic, and highly sensitive! Like that's all that was wrong with me. While I was actively living in abuse. I remember doing therapy homewor…

She is so icky! Even my kids think so, and they are grown now. She vacillates between being very controlling, smothering and bossy to forced , fake intimacy. She’s extremely performative in front …

The first one my ex wife had been really stressed half way through her PhD program and told me we needed to connect more and she needed to feel pursued. She promised when she was finished with her com…

My nmother's hugs feel like being put into a robotic birdcage. Small, smothering, bony...every one is an eternity. Deeply relieved she hasn't touched me in 9 years, because it triggers my fight/flight…

It's not physical. It's that feeling of "I want to be around them all the time, just them. Not in a smothering way, just because I feel great when we're together. And it's mutual." Hard to describe in…

Im like a freaking golden retriever always looking for approval and smothering someone with love. Pretty pathetic. As you said….. Aries/ADHD. I am waaaay too intense for most people. Also, I bond with…

This is not love, this is smothering codependency. You need to get out of the house and get work done. Go to a cafe or a local library. Stop going out for long breakfasts and lunches. Why are you th…

It’s never too late. You’re allowed to take as much time as you need to be sure you’re making the right decision for you. It’s a big decision, after all, and it’s not like there was some deadline by w…

As a dumper…nobody wants to be in that position honestly. It’s hard no matter what side you’re on but sometimes you look at your life and realize. “I’m not happy here and I wish I was but it’s not hap…

This sounds... smothering to be honest - how do you both have to commit to the "rest of our lives" together already when you hardly know each other yet? Also, I'm not even planning on marrying my gir…

I can't read the details of your post after that headline, my heart broke reading just that... its unbelievably monstrous and vile. Mine were smothering me a few minutes ago and now they're trying to …