guilty

THE OYSTER IS NOT YOUR WORLD! (IT'S THIS SIMPLE) — LONGGG POST! DISCLAIMER: for any of ya'll havin a problem with "long posts" , "english", "structure", "accent" etc etc. i got 2 tips for ya 1. chat gpt (or any other ai platform) - command c+v (summ…

Is replicating websites a good practice to exercise my CSS (and HTML)? — For personal use and for learning only, not doing anything shady ofc, also I mention that I’m coding by myself not just inspect element + copy code + paste in vs code and boom. And would that also be…

If I could just stop deactivating!! (FA) — Follow up from some of my previous posts. I’m deactivating again. I think? Or maybe lost feelings for my partner and I’m just lying to myself and not wanting to let go. The thought of that makes me cr…

I (re)earned my secure attachment this week. What a journey this has been. — I just wanted to share this diary dump with anyone who wants a success story. I believed myself to be FA/A for a long time, and this week I can finally call myself secure. TW: sexual assualt Despite …

I regressed so much this year — This year has been brutal since the beginning. Every single aspect of my life increased my anxiety. Multiple health issues in the family, some of them still ongoing and very serious, financial concern…

how to deal with an avoidant's freeze response in hard times? — my partner is FA, I've known him for a long time. He has made a lot of effort and has changed for the better. He's the more secure one between the two of us honestly, and he's pretty good at fighting …

What to do when i am triggered around my partner? — When i get triggered i usually have a routine of pausing, taking deep breaths, positive affirmations, then switching my attention to something else. However when i am around my partner and i become …

We live in a culture that glorifies self-sufficiency and punishes inter-dependence and needs. That impacts what we start labelling as anxious attachment, and how we are encouraged to heal. — Disclaimer - anxious attachment style is real, it creates distress in those who have it, and causes real strain to relationships. That being said, we cannot ignore that cultural norms have *always* di…

The fear of intimacy — I have started to realise that anxious attachment is also a fear of intimacy rather than only avoidantly attached people. I think many of us (when triggered) can prefer to live in the fantasy of a per…

I'm not sure about my attachment style but I want to discover it right now 'cause I want to start healing!!!!!! — Sorry for the long text, I want to be thorough. So, I just ended my first ever relationship. I'm 20, I'm a lesbian from a conservative background and had a lot of internalized homophobia and religiou…

I have done absolutely horrible things. I might be the worst human being to ever live. — 20M. This might be the longest post you'll ever read. I believe I have OCD and do nothing but ruminate 24/7 about my past. I have been in isolation for the last 3 years. It started as a fear of adult…

I (28F) gave my boyfriend (29M) an STD and I can’t stop feeling so ashamed and guilty — My boyfriend and I met on tinder a couple of months ago and everything has been so great. We get along wonderfully and we have such a good time together. I was sexually active with a couple of people …

I Genially Think My (35F) Husband (36M) is a Psychopath — Hi everyone, please I need help. I’m 35F and my husband is 36M. We’ve been married for 10 years and have two boys (7 and 5). I honestly don’t know what to think anymore. About three months ago my hus…

I (28F) am tired of constantly having to ask or tell my partner (28F) how to love/care for me. Do I just move on? — I’ll start off by saying, I completely understand we have to communicate with others on the ways we want to be loved and cared for. This isn’t that anymore. My gf and I have been together for a littl…

stopped trying to "fix" my adhd and started doing this instead — If someone is in a wheelchair, and they encounters stairs, they aren’t just gonna try their best to get down the stairs, they’re going to use the ramp or elevator. why should we keep trying to do thin…

parents found out about bf — i’m indian 22f and my parents found about my bf (same age) who is from a different race and culture (we live in the US). my mom seemed to be open to it but my dad lost his shit. told me to stop it imm…

I texted her. Here's what I said. I hope this was honest and vulnerable enough. — OK so, this will be a long one. I fucked up. I have some many things to tell you, so many regrets with a heavy heart. I'll start with I miss you. I've been missing you for a long time now. I haven't t…

I blocked my mother. — On March 3, I blocked my mother in WhatsApp. I’ve been living abroad for four years and started therapy two years ago. So many things have happened during this time... She used to tell me that I’ve ne…

My (M38) wife (F34) has been very quiet since a conversation we had of why I love her. Confused about her silence. — So I'm a little bit confused about this. A couple of days ago, my wife came to me asking the question that has been asked many times during our marriage. "Do you still love me? And why do you love me?…

When your experiences of racism are not only denied, but a narrative is created via oppression Olympics — Just need to get something off my chest: Something I've experienced quite often is, when experiencing racist interactions, just how many times the offender or surrounding white people are not only qu…

I (32F) trusted my partner (34M) completely until I discovered he lied about a “friend” he talks to daily and that they were texting very appropriate. I’m shaking and feeling lost — I’m a 32F and my partner is 34M. We’ve known each other for many years and have a long history together. We were apart for a while in the past but recently decided to try again because we both felt th…

Considering divorce from my husband. I need perspective. — Hey everyone, I've been lurking, but it's my first time posting, so sorry if this is inappropriate. For starters, I'm not asking for advice, as in "what to do", but more like perspective in case I'm …

Don’t you fear being too isolated? — I recently got rejected by a girl that I really liked. We started off as very good friends and unfortunately I caught feelings for her. So right now, I’m grieving the fact that I lost a really close f…

My best friend (F35) with BPD has dropped off the radar and I (F30) don’t know if inviting her to my wedding will be too much pressure or not involving her will hurt more. What should I do? — My best friend and I met 8 years ago at work. Our friendship was very full on as we worked together and lived in the same city but even when we both left the city we met in, we stayed in close touch. …

I Stayed For WAY Too Long — I just found this sub (after watching the Ben Affleck movie *Deep Water*, which was super triggering), so I thought I'd tell you my story. Maybe someone here can relate. My ex-wife struggled with a …

Stop being a fixer, and get the relationship you truly want! — The biggest lesson I've learned in love is that it's ok to be selfish. People come on this subreddit because they want to learn how to walk perfectly on eggshells so their sisuationship won't end. I'm…

Leaving my relationship for the right reason — Me (m30) and my partner (f39) have been together for 8 years. We have two kids below 4. She has been diagnosed with different mental health issues. She has also had two very rough childbirths. During …

I’m scared I’m the kind of mom people talk about here, even though I’m trying so hard not to be… — I found this group after typing into google “how can I get strength to parent after being so tired from work” on a Friday afternoon. I’ve been reading through this forum and it’s honestly been sit…

Am I expecting too much after the worst time of my life? — Asking for advice in a situation that is a bit of a shitshow. I’ll try to make it succinct. I live in the UK but am from a different European country. I, F42, started seeing M44, “S”, just over t…

Man who killed Belltown restaurant owner found not guilty by reason of insanity

28M, 30F, wife and I are distancing and I don't know what to do. — 28M, 30F, wife and I are distancing and I don't know what to do. Throwaway account for obvious reasons. My (28M) wife (30F) and I have been distancing lately. We have been together for almost 5 year…

Midlife dating plot twist I didn’t see coming… (I have breast cancer 🙄) — I was only just musing recently about how sexy midlife dating is.. His suspected sleep apnea, my post-three-big-babies body (haemorrhoids, saggy boobs!)… all the glamorous stuff. And now I’ve just b…

THIS 👇🏼 is how they moved on SO fast — Something hit me like a damn truck the other day and I genuinely haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, so I’m just going to put it out there in here in the hope that it helps one of you too Yo…

Seattle man who killed pregnant asian woman and shot her husband found NOT guilty due to mental illness — [article](https://komonews.com/news/local/seattle-man-cordell-goosby-found-not-guilty-by-reason-of-insanity-in-2023-killing-of-pregnant-woman-eina-kwon-belltown-shooting-case) [article 2](https://www…

My husband (39M) is annoyed that I (31F) always get sick after him. How can we find a solution? — Hello Reddit! Need some advice as I don't know what to do about this. It seems that my immune system isn't quite as good as my husband's. We have a 1.5 yrs old and we go to playgroups regularly, whic…

"Men Can't Be Men Anymore" — A week ago, I [posted about the Louis Theroux documentary on the “Manosphere,”](https://www.reddit.com/r/Stoicism/comments/1rtveyg/the_manosphere/) noting my surprise at the scale of the phenomenon, u…

I 27f pregnant can barley eat and my partner 31m didnt sleep because I ate McDonald’s — I’m 12 weeks pregnant and my first trimester has honestly been HELL. I can barely keep food down. The smell of most meats makes me gag and throw up. Even random things like cold air outside gets me an…

Mom threatening suicide if I don't come back — That's it. I ran across the country, they followed and after a bunch of police interference they went home. I keep getting texts on my old burner from them and this morning my dad said my mom would k…

Feeling super guilty! And unworthy — I've had chronic illness all my life. On disability since 2019. But what I'm going to say right now blows my mind and I think a lot of people wouldn't want to post on this post because of it. I'm ac…

Feeling super guilty! And unworthy — I've had chronic illness all my life. On disability since 2019. But what I'm going to say right now blows my mind and I think a lot of people wouldn't want to post on this post because of it. I'm ac…

Only child (30F, Indian, US). Parents financially exploited me and my husband for years. Set boundaries. Now they’re trying to destroy my marriage. — **The financial fraud:** My father retired with 1 crore and started building a house. Behind my back, he took a loan using my husband’s documents — claimed 45 lakhs, was actually 80 lakhs (POA fraud)…

I finally stopped begging my toxic Mom. Her "Extinction Burst" over my sister's wedding is insane. Has anyone else experienced this? — Hi everyone. I (M) and my two sisters have spent our entire lives tiptoeing around our emotionally immature, highly controlling mother. She uses guilt, silent treatments, and the "I'm a terrible mothe…

I caught my dad cheating, told my mom, and now feel resentment and guilt for their divorce. — My \[F25\] parents have been married for 30 years. My father has engaged in physical infidelity multiple times throughout their marriage and has engaged in several sexting relationships. My parents br…

The illusion of fighting your bad habits — Many people define their relationship with a destructive habit by the fact that they are "fighting" it. But the simple act of trying to stop usually fails because it keeps you trapped in a dependent s…

16 years together feels destroyed... — 7 months ago I (M, 35) found out my partner (F, 35) of 16 years was messaging another man she had met intermittently at her work in a professional capacity (she no longer worked there when I had disco…

My (M29) girlfriend (F31) has built up a significant debt and I’m feeling lost. — My girlfriend and I have been together for 12 years. She does more domestically which I feel guilty about but doesn’t drive and wouldn’t be the best at keeping on top of life admin so I feel we balanc…

Update: Tried to set boundaries, now they want to be paid 25k — It's been a few months since my \[last post here\] (https://www.reddit.com/r/AsianParentStories/s/lXVFmvyxxM), but its mostly come to a resolution. I wanted to do an update because I got some really …

I have an Ai addiction and need help — Hey, idk if this is the place to go for it. I don’t need anyone to shout at me or be angry, but I need help or advice or something. I’ve been a major environmentalist for as long as I can remember.…

boundaries crossed, wanting to be better. — i’m 16 and i feel like i have a really strong conscience. i feel guilty even over things that might not seem like a big deal to other people. recently i almost crossed a boundary just acting on impul…

nmom ruining my pregnancy by bullying my body — went no contact again and she won’t stop blowing up my phone — My whole life my sister and I have been bullied by our mom. When I was anorexic skinny, she’d say I had “no ass” and looked like a stick. Now that I’ve recovered and I’m at a normal, healthy weight (f…

I (f 22) tested positive for an std after years of being clean and consistent testing and my bf (m 24) of 2 years says it’s “impossible” it’s because of him despite not being tested for 5 years and now we’re not okay. — \*\*\*UPDATE\*\*\* After a long 3 days my results came back and they were all negative. I, of course, told my boyfriend and he was relived much like I was. He was supportive of me and he apologized …

About point a, moonlight, oh, sweet, old memories, I actually hallucinated about 1 year, trying to act as if. No, it was not rough, it was hell, but I did it. And it kinda worked, but I don t recomme…

 I’ve felt like a whiny little wimp for getting PTSD from something that I saw as not a true threat to life. I so relate. This kind of things happens through out my life till middle school. I always …

1. That doesnt disprove anything. It just means it may be more difficult. That's like saying mindfulness doesn't work because some people have ADHD.  2. Decent point but keep in mind some scientist …

Honestly it feels like gaslighting. The people who post here know the difference between a discard and things just not working out. there’s no reason to bring that up other than to make people feel gu…

I think your question is valid. You showed vulnerability by posting it here. I’m sorry so many adults in this sub choose to use their inside voice when responding. I think it would be different if we …

I think they feel hurt when they feel guilty for (not purposely) hurting the people they love

i mean you don’t know what she’s feeling, she could feel guilty even if she acts like she doesn’t

I dont know but I know that my DA told me he felt guilty for hurting me. He said hearing me cry got to him.  Even if I doubted his love (because of how he treated me) I still trusted him. He was not…

According to the science, DAs are triggered/hurt by criticism, conflict and closeness. My DA ex also expressed feelings of guilt when he would hurt me. He would actually say “I’m sorry you feel hurt b…

I was in a similar position, ruminating for more than a year excessively about a relatively short relationship, feeling guilty about not being understanding and patient enough. And that’s the point I …

I feel this. as a female FA who leans anxious (specifically towards men) I can relate a lot because in my female friendships, a lot of the time you're expected to be an emotional rock all the time for…

It's everything, I feel so guilty because they are being nothing but lovely and I'm still feeling the need to step away, so I try very hard to show that I also care, I'm also dedicated, I also love th…

LOL i hear you on the venting session. I think i'll get there soon, but lately when I've tried I just feel guilty because I don't feel comfortable yet insulting him-- even the things he did wrong I kn…

Though as I can guess from any other attachment style (or even mental health issue/relational pattern in general) every person is different, I imagine clarity and communication are key here. I would o…

Hi everyone, I’m in my early 20s, and recently I went through my longest relationship so far — almost 2 years — with someone who is also my age, and has BPD. I have AuDHD on top of everything. Our rel…

TLDR: Seeking advice re: Dismissive Avoidant 50F dumped my Anxious-leaning Secure self (53M) but posts her upcoming travel to our once-shared calendar.  ..... Yes, it was the classical Avoidant's int…

Text of original post by u/TranslatedIntoArt: This year has been brutal since the beginning. Every single aspect of my life increased my anxiety. Multiple health issues in the family, some of them sti…

Thank you very much for your reply!! It really helps understanding and feeling less guilty about how it all turned out

That is the exact reason that made me feel anxious in relationships. I used to be very independent and confident. Until i got cheated on and gaslighted. Then I got cheated on and gaslighted. Then …

Hello, I am in a relationship which is neither strictly platonic nor romantic. We are both neurodivergent and asexual and met 6-ish months ago, hence the seemingly strange nature of our relationship. …

I'm not the person you responded to, but in my opinion, insecure attachment patterns (like trauma dumping early on, keeping score, or obsessively seeking out your partner's time) create "faux-closenes…

Hi there, I was recently thinking about a friend who I had a large falling out with 10 years ago. She and I both have very strong anxious attachment styles but we had a really close friendship. We had…

Not here to give advice. Here to say I’m currently going through exactly the same thing. This is the first time I commit to a relationship and I’m battling the urge to break up every single day. I r…

My advice is that maybe spend some more time to yourself or apart. Not break up, but just doing your own thing. Go out by yourself, get some alone time, or take walks. Space is invaluable. It can help…

Solid replies on this one, honestly. I don't have any advice myself, but I did want to say that I certainly relate. I'm guilty of worrying about that, too.

I’m relating to this a lot atm too. Even when I’m clear on repeatedly setting expectations about preferring to take things slow, not wanting to escalate sexually yet etc I feel like the other person t…

Oh man I have felt this exact same way. The thing that helped me the most in the early dating stages was to be clear about my wants/boundaries and consciously keep myself out of the loop of imagining …

My partner and I had a disagreement about living arrangements. They feel ready to decide to move in together when my lease ends in 6-ish months while I am still not sure I’ll be ready. We didn’t have …

Hello. I have a question. Are anxious attached people self-centerd? I heard from my Ex-BF that I am self-centerd and think the world revolves around me. Sometimes I act upon my anxiety, only to be pro…

Text of original post by u/Local-Focus-4252: When i get triggered i usually have a routine of pausing, taking deep breaths, positive affirmations, then switching my attention to something else. Howe…

Thank you for the insight and validation! Yes I wish I could tell them I would literally like them more if they just pulled some of their energy off of me. Texting is such a weird medium too, like s…

👏 Anxious attachment patterns pmo because why are you so focused on me when you should focus on your own emotional needs. Just as you said, “they act as if they’re so loving and caring” but they’re a…

My ex dumped me in a cruel-hearted way on September 8 (I’ve written a ton about it in comments and posts in my history if you’re interested), texted me one week later with a chatGPT-written non-apolog…

Tldr seeking advice for an anxious attachment whose my boyfriend has recently been diagnosed with depression Sorry it’s a little long! So basically at the beginning of last year I (27 F) started not…

It is absolutely his mistake to go on a date with someone else while being in a relationship with you, doesn't matter if it was a long distance. So do not be guilty for being angry or hurt. But you do…

I have been guilty of this behaviour

you make a good point for sure, i think my worry is that i am ABSOLUTELY guilty of fantasizing about someone too much and its just about finding that line. i think even if some degree of fantasizing i…

Same, I try so hard to multi date, and then I feel guilty like I'm cheating on the one I like most, even though we're not exclusive and haven't been physical and he's probably seeing other people too.

Today is a milestone birthday for my ex. I broke up with her just over a month ago. I know how much she was not looking forward to this birthday, and how grateful she was to imagine she wouldn't be c…

I'd love to get some concrete data on the app decline. But of course the companies will never release that lol. I only went on one app date in all of 2025 and it was with someone I already knew and we…

Long tangent: I only recently started using this sub and I gotta say the first and foremost lesson is that I'm not as neurotic as I once thought, especially about texting lol.  I have to reign in my…

I was feeling guilty about cutting this guy off and then that theory about passing lessons hit. If that is true I really passed this one with As across the board. Recognized the obsessive behavior,…

If you don’t make me feel bad or guilty for setting a boundary, and encourage me to do what I need to feel safe, I realize I didn’t need the boundary to be safe and come back.

Text of original post by u/pineconewashington: Disclaimer - anxious attachment style is real, it creates distress in those who have it, and causes real strain to relationships. That being said, we can…

Text of original post by u/Alarmed-Most-2410: I have started to realise that anxious attachment is also a fear of intimacy rather than only avoidantly attached people. I think many of us (when trigger…

It's all this self-talk we do all day every day. It's worse when we're head-down in our phones for so much of the time (guilty) and then imagine everything somebody else might be

Seems like he feels guilty for letting you down. This is normal, I have been both this guy and you a few times before. It's a lot of word padding for "sorry again, its not you its me"

What they are talking about is different from reciprocity... reciprocity is born of free association with both people willingly giving to each other. And the giving is free: you're not doing nice thin…

Sounds like a pile of excuses, especially if he's claiming undiagnosed things as part of the problem. I'd find someone who was a better fit and who doesn't just blow smoke at you and try and make you …

Thanks for your story. I realised my relationship with my FA was verbally and emotionally abusive and I ended up leaving him. We had a pretty intense trauma bond that kept me going back to him in the …