Survival Mode

Can an "Awakened" path coexist with a partner in "Survival Mode"? 2 years ended, and I need perspective. — **The Context:** I’ve been in a relationship for 2 years with a man I deeply care about. I’ll be honest: I don’t know much about the "Awakened" world or high-frequency living. I'm posting here because…

A lot more people are hurt/traumatized than evil — A lot more people are traumatized/ in pain than are evil. And I won’t say that evil people simply don’t exist, they do, but there’s fewer truly evil people than there are hurt/traumatized people who d…

Just learned about the Umbrella Manifestation Method, but not sure wither I can use it the way I am thinking of! — I just learned about the Umbrella Manifestation Method. Now according to this method you hold a broad assumption like "Everything always works out perfectly for me in every area of life" or "I am alwa…

Dissociation and disorientation to the year: people with CPTSD ever struggle with realizing how many years passed in survival mode? — Sometimes when I try to be present, I suddenly realize how many years have passed since the trauma. A lot of that time I was dissociated or just surviving. That realization can feel overwhelming. It…

The true meaning why you were told to never bottle up your emotions — I remember years ago I was very young and in primary school… I would always see on posters around me. “Don’t bottle up your emotions.” And of I went on YouTube at the time or I heard from fam…

First Regulate Your Nervous System — Recently I watched a YouTube video by a guy named Reeves Tsang called how to reset your nervous system (and how to finally override your reality) This is one of the first manifestation videos I've se…

I Don’t Think It’s Just Depression… My Brain Feels Like It’s Shutting Down — Lately I’ve been wondering if what scares me most isn’t even the sadness. It’s the brain fog. I can handle feeling low. I’ve lived with that for years. But this mental blankness is different. I’l…

UPDATE: I found out my fiancé slept with his ex a year into our relationship 3 years ago — [Here is a link to my original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/s/2ArIlwSYpf) A while back I posted about a relationship filled with betrayal- sexual, financial, and emotional. We t…

Life in Survival Mode

I think I’m ready for intimacy again… but it feels like I’m betraying My late husband — I’m (44F) I lost my husband two years ago, and since then it’s just been me and my kids two teenagers and my youngest, who’s 8. The first year was just survival mode. Grief, responsibilities, trying …

Feeling empty and numb — Hey everyone, I’m going through a really heavy time right now and I feel like I’m stuck in a mix of survival mode, dissociation, and burnout. I’ve been dealing with numbness, a heavy chest, and just …

Feeling empty and numb — Hey everyone, I’m going through a really heavy time right now and I feel like I’m stuck in a mix of survival mode, dissociation, and burnout. I’ve been dealing with numbness, a heavy chest, and just …

Feeling empty and numb — Hey everyone, I’m going through a really heavy time right now and I feel like I’m stuck in a mix of survival mode, dissociation, and burnout. I’ve been dealing with numbness, a heavy chest, and just …

[29F] My boyfriend [29M] expects me to move across the world for him, but treats our relationship like a "performance review" and says telling my parents about us is a burden. — I \[29F\] have been with my boyfriend \[29M\] for a little over a year in total, but our history is a bit complicated. We met in September 2024, but broke up in April 2025 because he felt "uncertain" …

Does anyone else feel like they’re trapped in a version of themselves they can’t escape? — Hi. I’m 16 and I feel like I’m stuck in a “mode” of existing that I can’t get out of, no matter how aware I am of it. I went through something traumatic when I was 13 (humiliation, isolation, sexual …

When a regained memory uncovers something so horrible. — I was in a relationship with someone who had extremely unhealthy levels of narcissism for 25 years. It left me with CPTSD (which also comes from an abusive childhood); a by-product of which was that i…

My boyfriend and I grew up in different economic situations and it is affecting our relationship — I (20F) and my boyfriend (21M) have been together for over 2 years. I know we are very young and we haven’t been with each other long but I have been living with him at his parents’ house for almost a…

partner's parents are horrible people,, dont know what to do — Hi all, im posting kind of as a proxy for my (25f) boyfriend (27m) of 3 years, but also to rant from my own experience with them. His parents have always been an issue in our relationship from the st…

Crash after anything fun — So I’ve noticed a pattern that after any fun event I completely crash for a few days. Not only that but as soon as I get home, a panic attack try’s to start. I have to majorly distract myself to even …

People Pleasers!!! — People who are in long term relationships, where one partner is secure or anxious and other is people pleaser/avoidant. The people pleaser would later on in the relationship start being unhappy with s…

Stop thinking you don’t have to work — Hello all, I’ve made prior posts detailing my success with Neville. Some of which were curing an “incurable disease” and manifesting almost a million dollars. Today I woke up with even more money com…

40, single, and have never been married. I feel like I'll never find a partner again. What would you do if you were me? — I’m 40, female, live in San Jose, CA. Never been married, no kids. Net worth around $5M. I own my own business, have a house I live in, a couple rental properties, and drive a Mercedes E300 nothing to…

i need help / advice. — This is basically a cry for help and i’m desperate for advice. I am a student in my early twenties living in canada with low income and i live in an extremely abusive household. i want to leave b…

I [31M] have been seeing a woman [29F] for 5 months, we say I love you and are exclusive, but she still does not want to fully label it. — I am 31M and she is 29F. We have been involved for about 5 months. Basically, from the start I made it clear I had feelings for her. She said she had feelings for me too, but needed time and wanted t…

Surprised my therapist — I was diagnosed with CPTSD from childhood abuse about ten years ago and have been no contact with my parents for over 15 years. I had been out of therapy for some time, but recently started with a new…

The best summary of cptsd ive come across — someone commented this and I think its really helpful overview of cptsd for us What CPTSD Actually Is CPTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) comes from prolonged, repeated trauma, especially…

Wasted 4 years of college in survival mode. Dec 2025 CS Grad with zero skills, actually faked my way through the degree. Need a reset. — TL;DR: Graduated Dec 2025 with a BS in CS (2.5 GPA). I spent my college years working 50+ hours in odd jobs to pay international tuition and survived by using the internet for assignments. I have zero…

coping with the fact that they’re proud of traumatizing me — this situation i got out of in recent months is so fucking sick and twisted. i am one of those lucky people who have a lifelong pattern of getting wrapped up with narcissistic people. i even have comp…

I dumped her, we reconciled but she rebounded with someone else... what do I do? — Ive been dating this woman for 8 months. She’s 12 years younger than me, I’m 37M shes 25F. It started off as a casual/hook up but she wanted more as it prolonged so we eventually started dating. I do …

CPTSD has halted me from pursuing my passions — I feel like my entire life has been set up to fail because of CPTSD. Because of the elongated amount of time I experienced trauma that I couldn’t escape (pretty much from 11 y/o to 17 or 18 y/o) I was…

My illness made me self-centred and I want this to stop - advice please! — I have recently come to notice that my current health struggles have made me extremely self-focussed and I wish to fix it. 8 months ago, a chronic illness I've had for 6 years that was well manage…

Can my fiance be a grandiose/covert narc? Is this behaviour normal? I need your opinions idk what to do anymore — Hi, me(25F) and my fiance (27m) of 4 years have been living together since December. He works in the sea industry and I am an accountant for a big firm. This is a long one . Thanks for the read and fo…

How do you manifest when you’re being crushed by survival mode? (Chronic stress, burnout, and systemic weight) — I’m struggling, and I need a perspective that isn’t just "change your vibration" or "stay in the wish fulfilled." For the last year, I’ve been in deep survival mode. I’m a high-achiever (graduated Cu…

I stay too long. — Too long in toxic friendships. Too long at toxic jobs. Too long in toxic relationships. I’m loyal at my own expense. To be honest, it’s not entirely loyalty. It’s a comfort zone. I’ll stay at my toxic…

my family won’t respect my no-contact with my mother — \[F27, recently diagnosed CPTSD, learning to navigate it\] I moved interstate in ‘24 and only visited home twice in ‘25: mid-year for my sisters birthday, and christmas. After visiting mid-year, I w…

Can an "Awakened" path coexist with a partner in "Survival Mode"? 2 years ended, and I need perspective. — **The Context:** I’ve been in a relationship for 2 years with a man I deeply care about. I’ll be honest: I don’t know much about the "Awakened" world or high-frequency living. I'm posting here because…

I feel bad for still not wanting to forgive or see my dad again. Am I being too harsh to him? — When I was in college, my dad would steal money from my bank account, my paychecks from my job. He did this for 2 years (2019-2021). It would usually range between $100-$1000 randomly. What's worst is…

How to be less selfish when in survival mode — My boyfriend of four years today told me that he feels like our relationship revolves around me and my problems. He admitted he feels I am in survival mode, but he feels like he has nothing left for h…

how to get out of survival mode, when you’ve been out of abuse for almost 3 years already. — okay so for context, i’m diagnosed with bipolar 2, but many people in my life believe i am autistic i just cannot get health insurance and for sure can’t afford testing as i live in America in the sou…

I’m functional and getting chores done, but the 'What Ifs' are keeping me mentally paralyzed. How do I shut my brain off? How do I move on when I know I caused the damage? How do I forgive myself for letting a lifetime of trauma ruin the only healthy relationship I've ever had? — I think I need some advice. I (22F) am at a point where I can still push myself to go to work and keep my space clean, but my mind is on a constant loop. My partner (22M) and I just broke up, and the…

i realised i scripted my own breakup — I’m posting here because I want to leave the "old story" behind for good and i need some tough love but not too tough because im real emotional right now after seeing my own doing🤣. I’m not looking t…

Lived in survival mode for 3 years, lost all sense of identity — For the past 3 years I’ve lived in absolute survival mode. I moved out for college, I live in dorms, I share my bedroom with one person. I have 3-4 more years of college left. My environment is sever…

Partner (22M) and I (22F) broke up. I'm still functional, but the 'What Ifs' are keeping me mentally paralyzed. How do I move on when I know I caused the damage? How do I forgive myself for letting a lifetime of trauma ruin the only healthy relationship I've ever had? — Sorry for the lengthy title. I think I need some advice. I (22 F) am at a point where I can still push myself to go to work and keep my space clean, but my mind is on a constant loop. My partner (22 …

How do I (33F) get my boyfriend (33M) out of his apocalypse mindset? — My (33F) boyfriend (33M) and I have been together for about 1.5 years, and we recently moved in together. I love him dearly and while we've always had minor disagreements, we have very similar persona…

CPTSD — Trauma is taking me forever to get rid of — hey guys, i wanted to share my story, vent, and get some advice. so growing up, i have felt depressed/severely anxious almost my whole life! people surprisingly call me one of the happiest people …

Crawling out of survival mode — Is it still considered emotional disturbance when you were never taught what emotions even are in the first place? This week, a bunch of supports fell in place. Some I'd been working on establishing …

I agree with you. Until the individual who has a disregulated nervous system can work on themselves, free will is non existent. Their biology is in threat detection and survival mode which leads to sh…

I don't exactly have advice, but this is very similar to what I experienced with a former colleague that I dated for a bit and developed limerence for. I'm still conflicted about whether I actually "f…

a lot of posts and comments that are similar to what (i think) you're discussing, OP, seem to me that they would be non-issues if people were less inclined to be texting about stuff like this.. it re…

Honestly, I get this so much. In my experience, that cycle of noticing every little change and then later using it as “proof” that you were right to worry is such a mind trap. I used to think that mea…

This is me, 10000%, and I do the same thing, when I’ve had enough I switch off and just can’t care anymore. It’s really toxic I think but it serves the purpose of self preservation. I wish I didn’t ha…

I think AA and hyper-vigilance, they are all coming from the same place. AA is hyper-vigilance regarding abandonment. You don't want to be abandoned by your partner. One or both of your care givers li…

„Is this typical?“ sadly yes, as you can see in other comments here they can be very sure of the future with you at one point and then suddenly act like they never cared. I went through it myself and …

I'm deeply sorry you went through that. It is horrible on the nervous system, you keep spiraling and ruminating trying to understand what you did wrong. You're not alone in this. This will take longer…

>Would you be okay with elaborating a bit on the wound triggering? I’m not sure if this is something I did *to* her or just happened to be around when it started. You didn't do anything to her, its n…

Your own personal insight about feeling like you may have “done too much” turned on a lightbulb for me; it seems like trying to reason with her about all the things she engaged in with me is futile. …

1. State your rising sign (this is important). Aquarius 2. State the sign and degree of your natal Saturn (we much prefer you use the Whole Sign house system, but if you use Placidus, the sign may b…

>it seems like trying to reason with her about all the things she engaged in with me is futile. YUP absolutely correct she not only will not care but also percieve you as pathethic and desperate whil…

Thank you so much for the reply, and I apologize that mine is so late! This is very insightful, and it resonated a lot with me. I don’t think this is related to attachment theory, but I really strug…

I was just about done with it back in 2010, when I decided to try messaging her one more time on OkCupid. We ended up spending the next 14 years together and having two kids who are the light of my li…

i felt that part about the memories meaning nothing to him while you’re left picking up the pieces. it’s so disorienting when they walk away with "relief" while your body is still stuck in that high-a…

I can only speak of my experiences... I never received this support the majority of my life. Many others have had similar experiences. They can't be expected to give what they don't have while navigat…

I think a lot of people spend years in survival mode and then mistake the quiet afterward for emptiness. You had a very clear mountain to climb, and now you finally have enough stability to ask bigger…

This is probably the best way to explain why I do it. It's a way of reparenting the inner child and allowing that child to experience the 90s again without being in survival mode.

No contact is healing, but you have to give it time. Slowly you will see your true self coming back as your nervous system leaves survival mode. You will feel like yourself again, they haven’t taken t…

Yeah, this is very real. When you’ve spent years in survival mode your brain isn’t focused on living life properly or thriving, it’s focused on getting through the day without falling apart. Dissociat…

It’s so true, we’ve had to be in survival mode and strong for so long. It’s hit me at certain times how horrific things were when I’ve actually had a therapist cry when telling her about my ‘childhood…

I have no continuous memory. I have what I call "flashes" or "bubbles" of events, etc. I can sometimes remember how old I was in a memory, and that helps me determine the year. I can sometimes remembe…

I'm happy that you were able to. I haven't had the same experiences as I personally have extreme trauma resulting in CPTSD. Two friends have had the same. Both continued to unload over and over and ne…

nope, the experience of it doesnt fry you, its who you talk to after it that fries you :) i was socialy anxious...and i walked barefoot through a major city dancing on my music which completely took m…

It makes me mad as well when I think about how much time I lost living in survival mode. These TV shows provided a temporary escape from the sad reality we grew up in

It’s def not a competition my love. The truth is, when dealing with trauma whether “big” or “small”, your brain often can’t tell the difference. What causes this disorder is delayed processing due to …

I can only give you the statistics i remember. They are pretty detailed in the book Cheating in a Nutshell. Best book on infidelity is have ever read, by the way. Something like 50% initially stay. …

Honestly I don’t even think my therapist understands how much in survival mode/burnt out I am. Progress seems feasibly impossible. I can only manage my main job but not a second one because my mental …

Yeah I was defintely running on survival mode, I need to accept it, move on and find power in that, work better on my mindset especially on the days when it's hard, I like what you said about writing …

Thank you a lot! yup it's a certainly a mental health issue, but unfortunetly I can't afford a therapist atm, it's all linked to me getting a job and trying to finance all this, it's gotton bad to the…

I often dont think about it tbh. Had my 1st session of one on one w a counselor. She asked me, when will you relax, get out of survival mode and it hit me. Now the floodgates have opened and I r…

Yes! I guess I had been so deep in survival mode in the relationship that it affected my pain tolerance. After the breakup I started feeling pain again…. For example if I hit my funny bone I used to n…

I came out of survival mode for the first time a few weeks ago, and now I can feel emotions again. It’s overwhelming, scary, and strange after years of numbness, but at the same time, it’s wonderful.

I should have went instantly no contact but the way they broke up with me was brutal not only thag we talked about a 90 day break no contact no this or that but the whole time i livdd with them esp si…

What a beautiful idea. Especially because healing really asks us to learn how to show ourselves compassion, care, and support. I think one thing I can appreciate is that, through all that suffering, …

The dishwasher line stopped me. That gap between who everyone told you that you'd become and where you actually are — not because you failed, but because your nervous system got rewired by people who …

Figuring out what happened is really hard. I read a book by chance. As I read through the 25 common traits of kids who were neglect (pretty much 10 out of 10 on 21 of 25), it all made sense. It was l…

I make this point rather frequently on here and IRL. Please have a conversation with your wife about her health and hormone levels. After several years of anxiety, fatigue, depression, dealing with …

Yes. It’s abuse. He’s keeping your nervous system in survival mode. That’s terrible. Pls get away from him. Build boundaries and hold them.

Empathy can also be faked. There's also different types of empathy. When I've been in survival mode around abusers I've had a sort of practical empathy where I truly did not care about them facing con…

For my mom, it was a lack of information as well as experiencing a horrible childhood. And going further, on both sides was a lot of substance abuse that likely came from after effects of war. People …

I think that for people like us who it would be a constant state of discomfort if we acted the way they did our whole lives. I think for the narcissist they are used to and accustomed to constantly be…

Dude from the bottom of my heart... This deeply saddens me. I can literally feel the pain in your writing, the headspace your in, the chaos in your head you deal with on a day to day, you having grown…

Complete survival mode. I erased my entire personality to survive and just became a shell. I also spent most of my life from 0-27 dissociated, so I have no memories of my life. Just abuse. Been trying…

Sorry this is really long. The first part of your story I read sounds just like my childhood. I do not have experience with as much physical abuse that you have experienced, but my mom and dad were ad…

Are you me? Survival mode, perfection, managing their emotions, minimizing my existence sums up my life until about 22. I finally went no contact at 30ish. I’m so thankful to my partner for supporting…

Working on stuff definitely isn't linear with progress. It does feel good being out of survival mode, it took no contact for that to happen. It does still hurt though, wish you the best. I don't think…

Same. In fact, I’m not even sure the “bad” parent was abusive or a narcissist at all, I think he was just in survival mode.

I was so far into survival mode that I convinced myself for about 18 months that nothing around me was real and I was in a nightmare that I would eventually wake up from. Had anyone actually checked o…

Your comment has been removed and you are banned. Weaponising empathy for the girlfriend as a bludgeon to beat OP with is absolutely inappropriate. You are ignoring the reality of OP's situation: OP…