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attachments
Evidence
Citations (70)
Can an "Awakened" path coexist with a partner in "Survival Mode"? 2 years ended, and I need perspective. — **The Context:** I’ve been in a relationship for 2 years with a man I deeply care about. I’ll be honest: I don’t know much about the "Awakened" world or high-frequency living. I'm posting here because…
docker_pull.py: Script to pull lots of container images in parallel — [https://github.com/joshzcold/docker\_pull](https://github.com/joshzcold/docker_pull) Not sure who needs this, but I wrote as part of my work and this task seems to be lacking from the docker cli or …
Feeling smothered by an AP friend… — This is part reflection/observation, and part question at the bottom. It’s interesting and a bit funny to me, I rarely feel avoidant in my attachments. The test I took for this sub, showed all secur…
DAE feel like they want to be in a relationship but don’t really know how to? Intimacy problems? — I mean in terms of intimacy. When I think about being in a relationship, the concept of having someone in my corner that I can cuddle with, do things with, nurture and support and generally love—that …
What are some healthy ways of self-soothing in place of limerence? — Hi fellow anxious attachments girlies (and guys!! and everyone)…I’m someone who has used fantasy about a person to escape a lot in the past. I’m better about it now, but sometimes the tendency still c…
For having struggled with an anxious attachment in an earlier relationship, how does it feel for you to become more secure in a much different or more compatible relationship you are in now? — I am quite curious to hear if there are others who are at a place in their life still in their own "wound care" (healing) of being outside of an anxiously attached situation or of a previous unhealthy…
Both best friends got engaged — I (27F) have never been in a relationship and struggle to form emotional attachments at all. I've gone on dates and forced myself to keep seeing a guy because he's perfectly nice and there's nothing w…
Tired of my own inability to connect — I try my best, but even my best really isn’t that much connection. Sometimes I wonder if my childhood and young adult experiences permanently destroyed my ability make attachments at all, let alone h…
Experiences With Cosmic Entities. — Hello everyone! This post will be a little bit different, as i wish to dive into odd encounters that i had with different beings, that surprisingly helped me out a *lot* - more than i could have possi…
Insane Similarities between Gateway Experiences and Vedic Hinduism — So I asked Claude to cross reference all the gateway documents and manuals I uploaded to it with Hindu Vedas, Upnishads, Puranas and Patanjali’s book on Yog and only limit itself to these sources. He…
The Astral Plane: its Nature, Structure, and the Unseen’s Map found in world religions — *Disclaimer: The views expressed here are my personal opinions, except where excerpts are quoted.* # Nature of the Astral Plane The Astral Plane is the wider dream world. It’s a constant place that …
Are there any pro-escapism AP communities out there? — I've noticed that when the topic of voluntarily leaving this physical life, or remaining in the astral permanently is brought up on this sub, there are inevitably at least a few comments who seem to t…
The most serious use of lucid dreaming that nobody talks about: training to die — Most people start practicing lucid dreaming to fly, explore, have experiences physics won't allow. I did too. But I've come to think that's the most superficial application of the practice, and ther…
The Attachment Loop — Hi, not sure where best to post this so I’ll try here. TL;DR – I am stuck in a 10 year pattern of getting emotionally attached to women who are unavailable in some way, and I really want this last si…
Fantasy Attachments and Dissociative Fantasies May Be Ruining My Life: Anyone Relate? — I've been deep diving into attachment lately, partly a fixation, partly to try and understand myself better. Last night I was watching a Youtube video on grieving attachments and she mentioned that w…
I am working as an Officer in Govt of India with a "perfect" secure life, but my soul wants to drop it all for the Himalayan rivers, mountains, Yoga. Am I alone? — I am writing this from a busy city. I have a very secure, well-paying government job. By society's rules, I should be perfectly happy and satisfied. But whenever I find a quiet moment, my mind travels…
Can an "Awakened" path coexist with a partner in "Survival Mode"? 2 years ended, and I need perspective. — **The Context:** I’ve been in a relationship for 2 years with a man I deeply care about. I’ll be honest: I don’t know much about the "Awakened" world or high-frequency living. I'm posting here because…
Not being alone threatens me a lot. How am I going to solve this? — 1. There was someone very sweet, who made me feel like she accepted everything about me, who sometimes acted like a mother, sometimes like she was my daughter. I don’t know if anyone will ever look at…
:::Frequently Asked Questions::: — **Q: Hey, I can't post a topic! Why can't I post? Am I banned? It says I need to be a trusted member to post!!!** A: No, you're not banned unless you broke one of the subreddit rules. If that was the…
Introduction, Valuable Healing and Attachment resources — # Hi, and welcome! It is a pleasure to have you with us. Please come as you are, we encourage you to share openly and vulnerably. If you do not wish to share and just browse, you are welcomed here to…
Of course it does but all insecure attachments are maladaptive and damaging. Trashing on anyone for their attachment wounds is not helpful
I do understand and I can agree it’s not a behavior that can cultivate a long standing relationship with someone who is secure or anxious. But the same can be said about other attachments aswell (no…
I never said they tried, but who wants to find out that someone else emotional regulation depends on your constant presence. Again I’m talking about anxious attachment because secure people are secu…
Speaking as an Attachment focused Therapist, attachment wounds has to be healed through therapy. 1. Relational wounds require relational repair. 2. Insecure attachments lack ability to self-regulate,…
Not specifically with my T but I regularly shift between all 4 attachments depending on who I’m blending with. Lately I’m DA with most, holding them as some flavour if contempt or patronizing, or ge…
calling out ppls attachments is a form of diagnosing
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strange\_situation](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strange_situation) You can have a look hear, especially regarding Disorganized. "Ainsworth put in print her blessing…
AWS has a solution that tracks the state, has a web UI, and can optionally automatically accept the attachments. https://aws.amazon.com/solutions/implementations/network-orchestration-aws-transit-gat…
It's cuz the ones who are available on apps, u know u will eventually have to form connections with them. The ones who already are occupied, u tend to form emotional attachments cuz u know they are no…
Never be with anyone who gives you that much pain. But I really question if it’s their avoidant side that hurt you so much or if it was just plain poor behaviour? Should I label you anxious attachment…
I think a secure attachment is really great for someone with an insecure attachment if they're willing to put in the work. I don't think that there's anything wrong with that per se but they should kn…
My husband cheated, multiple times. I love and care for him, and do believe he loves me (in what way is up for debate). Some of his actions are related to insecure attachments and childhood sexual tra…
Look I’m not go back in forth with you after this, I mostly answered because for someone who said some good points you got quickly derailed and started projecting your own trauma. It wasn’t a gotcha. …
So true. I was a secure and became anxious after being with an avoidant for 24 years. I became secure again and after 14 years of being broke up, he love bombed me, we got back together. It was great …
I just am not going to hear how awful DA and FA are at this point. I’m a DA I don’t ignore the expressed needs from my partners but I also don’t allow (AA attachment people specifically) full range to…
This is kind of the right forum for OP to post this though. Theyre asking for advice or thoughts. If you dont want to see posts complaining and seeking advice about attachments I would steer away from…
Yeah, thats understandable and I feel/felt the same. We were together previously and I broke up with him because he wasn't aware and he just cycled through anxious lashing out during arguments or de…
I am an introvert, yes. My test results were FA/DA, pretty equal with one another, just concerning different attachments (platonic vs maternal for example). I don’t think I’m demisexual. I very much s…
This subreddit exists to talk about attachment theory. It's a theory that was developed to try and understand our attachments in *relationships*, which develop from infancy. It's not synonymous with e…
Eh. The DA runs deep. I also have plans and thinking around leaving at a certain date in the future. Everything is always in the moment. I could drop the ball and fall back into my ways at any time. R…
Thank you! I did do a little research after I posted this and it does say this is normal for their age but just hearing anxious attachment made me panic because my attachments are horrid cause childho…
I absolutely agree! And in regards ro different expressions, traits, etc -- *everyone* has avoidant tendencies from time to time. *Everyone* (except, maybe, people with ASPD?) has anxiety from time to…
Yeah OP if a man really loves you he won’t make you feel bad for those things. What I’ve found is to really get to know the person the best individuals arms you can fall into is someone who has the sa…
I don't think there's a "circle jerk" in the avoidant attachment sub. I've read and genuinely benefitted from seeing how the group helps each other comprehend their reactions and attempt from a place …
You can learn being secure! I certainly removed a lot of anxious traits and through therapy there’s light at the end, I promise! Another thing I would say is that attachments are not fixed. You are …
Text of original post by u/BoysenberryAwkward76: Hi fellow anxious attachments girlies (and guys!! and everyone)…I’m someone who has used fantasy about a person to escape a lot in the past. I’m better…
Hi guys I have bad anxious attachments I’ve ruined 3 talking/relationships all because of my overthinking and worrying I get a really deep and empty feeling in my stomach and I start to panic frequent…
I feel no need to control his actions my post was more about understanding them. I’ve noticed a lot of anxious attachments run from avoidants and write them off from the beginning. But if you can’t le…
I usually just try to focus on something or write down my feelings if it's too overwhelming. I don't really know why I'm like this, but I do tend to take a little while before feeling fully trusting a…
Text of original post by u/BornEducation4428: I am quite curious to hear if there are those who are still in their own "wound care " (healing) of being outside of an anxiously attached situation or of…
"*Quiet does not equal danger.*" Oh gosh. Yes. I understand this. This is how my partner now reminds me to be assured of space, and with myself. What also helps is, both of our quirky nature and humo…
Hi! I'd like to know how someone with anxious-avoidant attachment transitioned to secure attachment, especially regarding expectations. I know expectations are the root of the problems I've had with m…
Yes... these past few months I've done a lot of research on codependency, limerence, attachments... I also came to the conclusion that if I want a friendship with my friend, it has to come from accept…
Just had an experience with my SO that completely disconnected all my attachment to them. Like I used to be so worried about them, anxious about hearing from them, anxious about when I could see them …
I've gotta ask: Is it normal for someone with an advoident attachment style to have an issue with taking accountability and placing the blame onto others for their mistakes? I knew this woman for 9 ye…
Edit: I accidentally posted before I was done 😂 First, congratulations on even getting this far! That's something to celebrate in itself. >* How would I start? I started with a lot of introspectiv…
Unless you're in someone's head to understand their internal mindset, anything anyone offers you will just be an interpretation based off of your interpretation of what he's saying and doing. Dismiss…
Feeling pain doesn’t mean that they won’t choose to leave. If a relationship is not working, or if it’s dysfunctional, a secure person will move towards ending it. Insecure attachments are inflexible,…
Same experience for me. For both genders females and male. Especially females (but that is because my female friends were just better at getting casual sex). I have struggled with the same thing. I am…
I dont know that ive ever seen polymory pulled off in a secure context. The only polyamorous people I know have deeply insecure attachments.
Okay, I will look into this person more but Steph Anya is an LMFT. You might want to search again bc dismissiveness pulls right up as an avoidant trait only. Cognitive empathy is very limiting in true…
The dismissiveness in a dismissive avoidant is towards the self. Like I said, read Dr. Crittendens work on attachment. Her book assessing adult attachment is very good at explaining what attachment i…
Totally agree! My last relationship was the typical anxious-avoidant trap and when something would happen where he would pull away I would self-blame on "if only I had stayed quiet. If only I had thou…
Sure, all this information is accessible to anyone that wants to read Dr. Crittenden's work on the Dynamic Maturational Model of Attachment. Type A attachment defined my the DMM: >The Type A pattern…
Really depends on if it’s avoidant behavior or emotional avoidance. If it’s emotional avoidance it depends on if you suppress or repress. Repression is what we usually look for with avoidant attachme…
Type A attachments inhibit negative affect from consciousness during information processing towards attached figures. [Transformation of Information for attachment.](https://i.imgur.com/9iVeoXx.png) …
What I am describing aligns with individuals that struggle with mentalization and differentiation. Which are common patterns in anxious attachment. Claiming this is an FA thing is odd to me, FAs have…
No I’m not. Avoidant attachments serve roles to others. Anxious attachments are characterized as having high intensity of affect, while avoidant attachments inhibit affect from consciousness and enga…
yes!! im kind of awkward around strangers so i find that having a shared interest helps with initiating conversation and eventually u get to know the other regulars and build friendships off of that. …
I think AA and hyper-vigilance, they are all coming from the same place. AA is hyper-vigilance regarding abandonment. You don't want to be abandoned by your partner. One or both of your care givers li…