grow up

> And if that person is willing to put in the work with a professional therapist, they can be helped. I think "willing" is the key word here. I'm mostly a lurker here, but I feel like I see "go to t…

Are There Any Tech Billionaires Who Weren’t ‘Nerds’ Growing Up? I will not promote — I’m doing a school research project on tech billionaires for a class, and I have a question. It seems like most successful tech entrepreneurs were into tech or coding from a young age, but I’m curious…

Growing my inner child feels like murdering my soul — So now my relationships,my desires in life,wants ,needs basically evolve around the little guy in me.And if I were to give up on them and tell him that its not a dream or a game anymore,we are adult n…

Coming to terms with possible childhood emotional neglect - curious how others turned out — As I’ve gotten older and started reflecting on my life, I’ve slowly worked backwards and realised that I might have experienced childhood emotional neglect (CEN). What’s funny is that it actually sta…

My mom called my son’s birthday party “f***ing embarrassing” because she cares more about what people think than celebrating him — **UPDATE:** Thank you to everyone who commented and shared advice. A lot of people suggested going no contact with my mom to protect myself and my son. I understand why people said that, but I want …

Got an insane flying monkey voicemail this morning — So long story short: My dad is an abusive piece of shit narc in a family of narcs. 7 years ago was the last straw when he beat up my little sister who was 19 at the time. Rather than harm him, I went …

Did anyone here grow up with a parent who was autistic/neurodivergent or emotionally distant/neglectful ? — Hi everyone. I (20f) am posting because for a long time i have known that I was very emotionally neglected as a child and I’m wondering if anyone here grew up with an autistic parent. My mom was diag…

My ex wife changed after the divorce and I don’t want her back but I am angry — I see little bits of my ex wife life through my kid and I just don’t see the women I divorced anymore. She immediately got a new husband not even 2 years later. I original thought it would fail becaus…

Nowadays, would you say it's easier to have kids / start a family in Asia or the West? — I know flings and casual sex and "game" and all that keep getting brought up in these communities, and I understand why. But let's suppose you eventually (or currently) want to settle down, take it ea…

How tf do you grow up in a communist state, then immigrate to America and be the biggest classist asshole around? — Anytime my mother would ever bring me to a store she would always remark that if I don’t keep my grades up I’m gonna end up working there. It’s the same thing with the plumber or any other handyman th…

Thinking More and More About Just *How* Boring They Were — One of the things that really boggles my mind looking back on my childhood is just how little my parents ever entertained any ideas of direction or progress within their own lives. My father worked t…

I normally don’t like to talk about my issues outside of therapy because I just want people to see me as normal, but I’m 36 and still can’t get past the effects of trauma from my childhood. — I grew up with a mom who is obviously mentally ill, very likely borderline personality disorder at the very least. I grew up white trash in poverty surrounded by drugs and trashy people my whole life …

Does my chart explain my financial worries? — Hello everyone! Admittedly yes, I did grow up with relatively scarce resources. I am still young and have tried my best to be as financially savvy as possible. However I always feel as though it’s n…

I’m scared I’m the kind of mom people talk about here, even though I’m trying so hard not to be… — I found this group after typing into google “how can I get strength to parent after being so tired from work” on a Friday afternoon. I’ve been reading through this forum and it’s honestly been sit…

I just wanna be better — Hey reddit, I need some advise/guiding. I'm 18 turning 19, I'm with this beautiful who treats me so good, and that's pretty much all I got to myself, l had this courier job that paid me really fucking…

Question for AM: did your parents encourage you to socialize / date early? If you are a father, what's your opinion on early socialization / dating? — I think I was too harsh on my parents growing up but I realize now that my mom went out of her way to find me a Chinese girl to be my playmate which sort of was pretty radical by Asian American standa…

the narcissist catchphrase bingo list — edit 1: jesus christ my initial 32 I wrote already look like they arent a lot lmao (the comments in total added 45 UNIQUE PHRASES HOLY JESUS) , okay heres the updated list (most of the updates will be…

I have never hated anyone so much in my life — I’ll spare the soap opera that was our marriage. We were married for five years and are now in the process of separating. I was the one who initiated. We have a little one. He is 2. He is the most im…

M30, no direction, no future. Just surviving on autopilot. Have I wasted my entire life — I'm turning 31 soon and I have the feeling I'm throwing my life away without being able to change anything. I grew up in a dysfunctional family: a mother who was always absent, anxious, and dismissiv…

I need people to let me know if I should seek professional help — Hi, for my own privacy let me tell you that I am not an adult but I am not a child either. I have a small fear that I might have a psychotic disorder or I might do something bad later in life. In shor…

I need advice quick — Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2,5 years now, I’ve been over his house a lot and met his family but never actually spoke to them. His sister texted me yesterday, asking if I’m free because…

Why are koreans so class/status conscious? — \*\* here, 'koreans' mean korean-koreans or first gen korean immigrants, not korean americans who tend to be more chill in my experience. I'm a first gen immigrant. I'm posting it here in a hope to ge…

Husband says I “lack empathy” for not excusing his parents’ behavior — Excuse the long post, I am confused My husband (25M) and I (25F) have been together for 9 years. He had a really rough childhood. His dad was physically and emotionally abusive and he says he would …

What’s the point of living if everything is a mistake? — I’m 21f and it wasn’t until last year that the idea that ‘it’s okay to make mistakes’ even entered my consciousness. I was just always a well behaving kid. Now, it feels like everyone does anything th…

26[M] and my 23[F] me and her just recently cut things off. — Things were going really good in the beginning, she was sweet and nice but I realized she was a very different and strange. Like maturity wise, she had so many issues she was very controlling when I’d…

3 months of no contact and I still can’t let go. What should I do? — I’m Mia (20 y.o) and I have clinical depression. My ex Daniel (19 y.o.) and has the same diagnosis. English is my second language, so sorry if something is hard to read, an also sorry for such a huge…

Do men think nipple piercings are trashy? I’m 31 W he is he’s 36 M. — The guy I’ve been dating just broke things off saying that he doesn’t see me being the one for him long term. One of the big reasons being because I have nipple piercings. I’m 31 years old and he told…

“Grow up, act like a mature adult.” he said. — I (25F) wash the dishes as usual, when I washing a coffee cup, it slipped and smashed to a cup of glass. I screamed a little bit along with the loud smashing sound. He (44M) clearly heard, didn’t come…

My brother (28M) is getting married to his gf (18F) and I am TA for disapproving... — The reason I have a problem with it, aside from just the age difference, is that they started dating two years ago. I found out he was dating her when he was ARRESTED over his inappropriate behavior…

The impact of Mother / Daughter SA - People don’t talk about it — People don’t talk about MDSA (mother daughter sexual abuse) much. They do more than they used to though. There’s also Janette McCurdys Memoir *I’m Glad my Mom Died*, which discusses this type of abuse…

I think I need to leave my marriage — I’ve been going back and forth on whether to post this, but I need to get it out somewhere. I think my marriage is over. There wasn’t one major event that caused it. No cheating. No physical abuse. …

"I don't know what to tell you" — Did anyone grow up with either of their parents saying this constantly? I'm 30M and my mother has said this to every single problem, big or small, I've ever had in my life. Whether it was financial qu…

Has any one had the new supplies friends target them? — I know I’ve made posts here previously, the thing I noticed is after my ex discarded me, the new supply reached out once, I explained he’d cheated with her and I’d been with him 6 years and we were st…

My boyfriend [27M] pulls me down [24F] — Me \[24F\]and my boyfriend \[M27\] are togehter for four years now. I do love him but I feel like he did not grow up, since we met. He failed his studies, works 10 hours per week at an oldtimer shop …

Where do you even begin? — Divorced. No kids. Thrown off my game. Trying to stay afloat. Wouldn’t mind some companionship again. I’m in a semi-rural area that I didn’t grow up in. The demographic skews old and the professional …

Letting go of someone early due to practical reasons, but it hurts. — TL;DR - Decided to end things due to practical reasons, but it doesn't feel okay. Around three months ago, I (28/m) met this woman (43/f) at a local pub. During this time, I was spending my days in …

"Most people don’t realize that children who grow up without praise don’t struggle with confidence as adults.... — They struggle with believing any compliment is genuine, because their nervous system learned that approval always preceded a request." This one hit hard. My mother always had strings attached. Not …

You have the answers — ​ Hello folks, hope your day is going well! Below i'll post the final chapter to a short work I put together. while out of context it does provide some useful tips on how to be. A dedicated …

Facebook Cheating Compulsion — Last month, I \[M36\] caught my wife\[F38\] planning an affair on Facebook messenger. She has lost a bunch of weight recently and was being more active. Hanging out with friends, planning trips, and g…

My mom called me on my birthday to apologize for taking me to the hospital instead of bruising me when I was sick as a kid. — My parents are in a cult that believes in bruising=healing. They are in china. In traditional Chinese medicine, some branch believe that the color of bruises are a sign of toxins, and by bruising your…

When was enough? (Non infidelity) — What was the moment you said this wasn't for me? (non infidelity) I'm had disagreements, arguments, etc with my fiance, and have always considered, maybe this isn't for me, or I should leave, but we …

Does anyone else feel like they don't fully belong anywhere? — I’ve been thinking a lot about cultural heritage and what it feels like to lose touch with it over time. You grow up in one place and never fully feel like you belong. But when you look back at where…

Husband wanting divorce is also dragging it out — Husband and I had a big fight a few weeks ago. We 'recovered' from the fight and landed on marriage counseling. We went to 2 sessions last year but didn't continue because he didn't want what the ther…

My 25f partner 24m doesn’t put any effort into any holidays or events or anything special. Is that normal? — Post is as it reads. We have a 2 year old daughter together. Her birthday recently passed and I spent hours baking her cake, finding decorations and gifts from eBay (she’s into some older tv shows so …

What to do if parents beat you and siblings? — My mother was never laid a hand on by her own parents but she is the one who beats my siblings and I most often. She calls it “spanking“ and says we deserve it but spankings are light swats given to c…

My boyfriend and I grew up in different economic situations and it is affecting our relationship — I (20F) and my boyfriend (21M) have been together for over 2 years. I know we are very young and we haven’t been with each other long but I have been living with him at his parents’ house for almost a…

avoidant ex dumped me after 4 years — Hi, I am going to be as vague as possible because I don’t want to give away obvious details incase he sees this. My ex and I have been officially broken up for 2 weeks now and I told his mom today t…

Moving forward — Hi. I'm (M, 22) about 2 weeks into a break-up that involved me moving back home from across the country, don't think it matters where. I feel like I've regressed so much mentally being back here. I mo…

I’m dating my stepbrother — So first off I know it’s weird, my parent got divorced when I was 15 and my dad remarried when I was 17, fast I know but there was no infidelity at all on his part (I could write forever about how cra…

My ex boyfriend become Femboy — TL;DR;r/breakups My ex boyfriend of 2 years who comments on other girls photo while be with me become Femboy after breakup. I found out about this week ago my best friend saw his account and go che…

growing up, did anyone else have paddling in their school and have constant flashbacks to it? — (TW please read with caution, i mention childhood experiences of physical punishment) it hasn't effected me as much until recent years. because of this an other instances i've always been uncomf…

Yes! I was thinking about Jung's Shadow and Assagioli's Subpersonalities just the other day. There are so many parts to our personality, often contrasting with each other, but we grow up feeling like…

You’re speaking about avoidant *women* as a whole. “The more you try to communicate about the relationship the more they hate you.” You’re not venting about a specific ex, you’re not-so-subtly bashing…

Childhood trauma doesn't always look like yelling or hitting; people mistake this a lot. You can have a lovely attentive parent who still didn't teach you emotional regulation, sent you in time out in…

Also you lie to them and expect them to except it.when I notice some one is just saying something that isn’t real ,it bothers me. Often my wife needs space,so she stacks her calendar with appointments…

You’re really doing great - this is just so hard! I’m gonna say something that might sound counterintuitive and blasphemous, but I hope you’ll stick around to read my long winded explanation of why 😅…

In my opinion they're very comparable, yours was there for you but didn't know exactly how to help in a way you needed them to do so. I do not know the whole story, but there are people here who sugge…

Sure, here is a portion that resonated with me a lot and made sense on what attracts me to the avoidants or unavailable or troubled people. Shall share more if you are interested: The need to be need…

My parents are dismissive/avoidant attached and it fucked me up for life. It’s a very lonely and destabilizing way to grow up. I am 36 and only now in a secure relationship for the first time. (That a…

Hi, I (32M) am currently going through a really difficult phase with my girlfriend (31F), who’s around 13 weeks pregnant, coming towards the end of the first trimester. It seems everything I do annoy…

I just had an issue with an fa today this is why I feel like she hates me; this is our third goal round of no contact in a relationship that never happened. We had sex one time and a bunch of text con…

I could have written this post myself. I turn 27 in a month. And well, I have never been in a real relationship (although I dated for a while in a very avoidant non-committed way that makes me feel st…

You're reading a lot into his actions. It's not fair or kind to make assumptions about other people's intentions. If you feel confused or think there has been a miscommunication, you should ask them -…

I can definitely relate a lot to your experiences - I also was religious up until about age 26 when I deconstructed, and lost most of my Christian friends when I stopped going to church. It was a real…

I could not agree more. As someone who worked very hard to overcome their anxious attachment I've had to put a lot of time and effort into making sure that I did not become too self reliant. I'm reall…

I met my wife on Hinge and when we started to get to know each other she told me that she had never been in love before. I was nervous about that but I really enjoyed our conversations and I felt lik…

I think you should consider carefully the kind of home and relationship you want kids in. Personally, as someone who said it to my husband after 6 weeks, says it and receives it multiple times a day, …

this landed hard because i've been there too — not exactly your story, but that feeling of being a burden before you even open your mouth. what hit me reading your post: "my needs were often put on t…

There’s nothing wrong with fun and good, but I don’t want a relationship JUST for “fun and good”. I want depth, emotional connection, vulnerability. Sometimes it doesn’t matter how long you “marinate”…

>I started dating rather late, at 28, but since then I've been a major avoidant. Every time I find myself getting close to someone, I overthink it, and feel like I can find someone better. >Also, the…

You’re right. Best to rip off the bandaid quickly. If he can’t handle me at my tipsy “Trump is trying to use escalating tensions with ICE to give him a reason to invoke the Insurrection Act and suspen…

Love this for you! And for your nephews! Having small children terrifies me a bit. I’m scared that, despite best efforts, they’ll still grow up to be AHs. lol

What a bizarre post. The thing that stood out for me the most was the part where you act 22, not look 22. You’re clearly looking for validation for some creeper tendencies. Why are you even talking w…

This might be true… but I still have a tough time believing they would tell me to date a younger woman instead of telling me to grow up.

It’s a PA tactic… implying they have no faith you can grow up therefore your only option is to date down (age wise)

It's really difficult to find someone that you can trust enough to make such a bog step as having a child. There's still time, people are having kids older and older, and other commenters have mention…

The culture clash is real. No matter how fluent you are in a local language, if you didn't grow up in that country, you'll always miss some customs, some common reference points etc. If your partner i…

This sounds like tons of fun! Lucky of your friend to have such supportive and fun gfs :) Your bf needs to grow up. I get excited or generally boring things too and my partner gets excited for me!…

Hey there, 14 years of my life have been like this, lots of darkness, amazing bad luck, very bad relationships and connections with people, I lost all my friends, I lost trust to the world, everythi…

Thank you so much. This is good perspective. She will never grow up and I am doing this for my children as much (or more) than I am doing this for me!

Yikes, you let your son grow up in that household where his father openly gets degraded and where mom is never home because she prefers to spend time with other guys? What more needs to happen until …

I lamenet the lack of stability and tools that I should have been given growing up. Through no fault of my own: -Never had stable parents -Was suppose to be bilingual, never learned my family's moth…

You’re not selfish towards him, but you are selfish for staying in a relationship with an alcoholic because you like him, without considering what it will do to your child to grow up in that environme…

Grow up Life isn’t equal or fair MOVE ON and stop wasting your valuable time!!! Do not let it show on outside Confidence is your product

Yes I feel the same. My friends parents are so encouraging of them having a social network and excited when they go out and do stuff instead of being at home doing housework/nothing. But my parents ju…

I am offering my thoughts in hopes that something somewhere might help you see things in a new light. This will be long and I will take no offense if you don't read it. >Unfortunately, I think for th…

You're an idiot, grow up

I had a conversation a while ago with a director of finance at work about reports and I was telling him I can try to figure things out, but I'm not sure if it's correct or right etc. I consider him a …

honestly!!! i’ve genuinely given up trying to be the good child now. i’m just minding my business and staying quiet until i can leave. people say im lucky my parents are letting me live rent free even…

People should not be shamed away from breaking up with someone. It's perfectly normal to realize a relationship isn't right for you, break up, and still miss the person at a later date. Grow up, relat…

Oooh! We found someone who's spouse left them! Let me guess, some dude playing video games expecting their wife to cook, clean, and take care of the littles. They finally got tired of your crap and…

Those were some baller moves ngl, hope I can be like you when I grow up

Yeah, I can tell when a mixed-raced person was raised in Asia lol. The wasian kids on TikTok saying one parent is “Chinese/korean/etc.” and the other “is American.” I’m like, I can tell they didn’t gr…

Thank you ❤️ I feel that him & I are headed that route. I’m very close with his entire family too, especially his parents, aunt, uncle, & grandma. I just can’t see me completely chopping them out. We…

When I was a kid, I used to think it’s just the struggle, when I grow up and be successful none of these would matter. I was so wrong, the more I grew the worse the haunting it became. I accepted that…

Agreed! It's heart wrenching as a mother myself to think of treating my daughter the same way I was treated. Occasionally, it makes me sad that my daughter has lost out on a relationship with a grand…

I remember how as a little toddler, I cried over my pacifier, my mother, who I still love, sighed deeply and sadly, gave me a look of disappointment as if it was a terrible burden to get my pacifier. …

In my household whoever cooks does not clean up, including leftovers and counters. Tell your bf to grow up or date a nanny.

Doing all the house chores and cooking for you is not taking care of you. It’s neglecting to teach you life skills. My parent never taught me anything about house chores and actively prevented me fro…

Going no contact is the only way you'll be free from the constant criticism. I know because that's what I've done. No matter how often you tell them they are hurtful, that you don't need their opinion…

Well yeah if you are talking English speaking Asian Generally speaking, it's Korean media and it's not even close, they singlehandedly changed the game in a couple of years. If Bruce Lee would have …