expect it

Yeah, like for me personally it's one thing to face Sinophobia or transphobia by itself because you sort of "expect it" to a certain degree. Transphobia is not really something I encounter personall…

We open-sourced internet’s largest incident response glossary with over 500+ terms — We just published a public glossary with **500+ terms** related to incident response, on-call, alerting, SLOs, postmortems, and more. I think this is perhaps the internet's largest glossary for incide…

Devops not using Docker (or Podman), what does your stack look like? — Edit: I have nothing against containers, I'm looking for another containerization solution / ecosystem. I hate docker with all my soul. While writing it, I'm 100% aware that "hate" is a feeling and n…

Need some help with SplideJS Carousel -- auto height is not working — I've got a jsfiddle setup for review. [https://jsfiddle.net/agvwheqc/](https://jsfiddle.net/agvwheqc/) I'm really not good with code, but know enough to waste lots and lots of time trying to figure…

how to apply skills from therapy and date like a sane person? — tl;dr how to keep a connection going with a secure potential love interest who likes to be alone when you’re anxious-preoccupied af 😭 i’m a lifelong anxious-preoccupied and through years of Doing Th…

I astral projected last night.. — I astral projected last night... What was your first experience? Here's mine: We arrived in Tunisia yesterday, had some sleep, woke up, yawned, and my nose started bleeding, only mentioning this bec…

Any clue what could have happened? — I took a heroic dose of dmt last year. I had every intention to communicate with whatever I may have seen during the experience. I hit my rig until I couldn't anymore, I had been sitting on my brother…

No contact year 6 update: — Hello everyone! I’ve made some update posts in the past and figured I would make one for year 6 as that anniversary is coming up soon, and with context it will make sense why I still specifically reme…

My Mom Doesn’t Remember My Attempt — (trigger warning) When I was 21, I was back home for a bit and things escalated between me and my mom. One night, we got in a big fight and I got so depressed and mad that I od on pills (tbh idk what…

My parents (48F and 48M) feel offended as I don't have income to gift them anything. — I (24F) have been unemployed for almost three months and getting a job is ridiculously difficult. Father's day is celebrated around this time of the year in my country, and I have always felt pressure…

Miss the sex with my ex — I’ve had sex with other people, both before and after my ex, and we’ve unfortunately been on/off and finally called it quits. However, every time we’ve broken up (I know intermittent reinforcement can…

Miss sex with my ex — I’ve had sex with other people, both before and after my ex, and we’ve unfortunately been on/off and finally called it quits. However, every time we’ve broken up (I know intermittent reinforcement can…

what finally got me to shift - I broke my mind ⋆˚࿔ — I used to be the person who would try to shift every single night and wake up crying from a failed attempt because I was so frustrated with the fact that I wasn’t shifting. I thought that I fully be…

When in doubt, return to I AM — When we have doubts or moments of fear about the "What if" or "How would', we must return back to I AM. I AM is not a word or affirmation. I AM is a present tense feeling of being. The awareness that …

"You'll find someone eventually" — I'm just having a rotten night, and I just need to put my frustration into words. I hate when people say "you'll find someone eventually." Or "you deserve someone." Or "It will happen when you least …

It doesn’t matter WHAT you do, it matters WHO does it — Lately I’ve been thinking about how working on yourself is actually really important when it comes to manifestation (and no, don’t immediately assume it’s something hard). The phrase “it doesn’t mat…

Healing — It’s been 3 weeks since we broke up. 5 years 3 months 2 days evaporated. You showed me your true colors right away with the lies, gaslighting, and cheating. I endlessly gave you the benefit of the dou…

I want to text my ex everyday — I broke up with my ex about 7 months ago. And I know people are going to assume that I’ve had my fun and now I want my ex back but that isn’t the case. We were together for about a year and a half and…

What Detachment Really Means… — I still see many people worried about detachment and not caring and how that affects manifestations. It’s not that you don’t care or don’t desire, it’s that it’s so engrained into you that you no lon…

how do you guys respond to comments/messages like this? — i posted some pictures of me and my partner on a trip on facebook only for a family friend to immediately comment "long time no see, how's your mom?". i responded with "how this post of mine correlate…

Holidays… — It’s Easter and I honestly didn’t expect it to hit this hard. I’m recently single and today just feels heavy. I keep thinking about my ex, and even more than that, I miss her son so much. Holidays use…

How do I (20F) break it to my best friend (20M) that I'm seeing someone new after he recently confessed his feelings for me? — So about three months ago, my best friend told me that he has had feelings for me basically ever since we met. I used to have a little crush on him when we first met, but I don't have feelings for him…

How do I (38m) get over her (36f) — TL;DR: fell for a woman I can’t have and don’t know how to start the process of getting over her. Throwaway account as some people in my life would know my other username. Firstly, I appreciate any…

I feel like a lot of healing is "passive", as in progress happens even when we aren't actively trying. — Obviously healing is hard, grueling work. But I think I've noticed that a lot of healing, at least for me, is pretty passive - not always coming from journaling or trying hard at any specific thing, b…

[23M] Huge wealth in my chart? — Hello everyone, as the name suggests do you see any inflow of huge wealth from my chart. If yes, when can I expect it?

My boyfriend isn't sure about us — So recently my partner 'M21' and me 'F22' recently got into a pretty hefty argument about marriage. We've only been together for 1 year and this whole argument started when I brought up that if after …

Is it a good idea to seperate responsibilities for a while and live functionally more like roomates? (F23, M24) — Hi I was just after some advice on something I'm trying out with my boyfriend of 6 years. I'll provide some context and then lay out what it is we are doing. We have been dating for quite a while and…

What happens when they kick the bucket & you’re NC but the only next of kin? — So, my dad is a piece of shit. He’s a child molester, a bigot, a creep, and plenty of other shit I don’t feel like typing out right now lol. I am his only biological child. He is unfortunately tough …

I believe dual n-back could be an effective tool for lucid dreamers — **Edit:** Dual n-back is a brain training game popularized by Susanene Jaeggi in [her 2008 study](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18443283/). Here is a link to the free open source version of dual n-b…

I am living in a fantasy and I want outs — I realise now that our whole relationship was kind of based off a fantasy. The whole time we were together, I would fantasise about him showing up randomly with flowers, surprising me when I least exp…

My (32f) partner (37m) says I “don’t let him talk,” but he talks in circles for so long that I can’t even respond — ETA: after tonight’s “conversation” it seems like most of you are right. unfortunately this is probably the best I’ll ever get. thanks for all the suggestions. I feel completely stuck in my relation…

Have you had any experiences where the beings that interact with you displayed an amazing sense of humour? — **Specifically of the good natured kind**. Events that were seemingly playful, funny, kinda like an inside joke between friends, trolling *****(which NGL it feels like the whole phenomena is in a way …

How to get over ur ex no bs 💯 — Heres how i got over my ex who had me trapped in a trauma bond. I feel nothing, no lingering feelings make it hurt anger nostalgia Its just.. nothing like today i opened his profile as usual i wann…

How do you pull away from a friend without it turning into a ‘you hate me’ situation? — Hello, me(16F) and my bestie(16F) have been friends with this guy (we will call him M(16M)) for about 2 years now. At the start, he was funny, easy to talk to, a bit of a floater (felt more extroverte…

The Ending Of A 26 Year Relationship.... And The Lightning Bolt — After 26 years with the same person, I honestly thought a big part of me had gone missing. Not just the relationship itself, but me. Looking back, I think certain things over the years slowly wore do…

1 Month NC. He sent an IG request but I know he's still hooking up. The urge to break NC is destroying me. — ​I met for a hookup a guy (24yo) but it turned into something much deeper and we both caught feelings. We spent over two months constantly together, with him initiating about 90% of the contact. He wa…

When nothing looked wrong, but everything felt heavy — I’m starting to realize that emotional neglect doesn’t always look the way people expect it to. I grew up with a mother who, on the surface, was loving. She never yelled at me, never insulted me, and…

Journey from doomer to bloomer. ( week 4 ) - A crash that made me make a plan. — ​ Hey as I told you I was a doomer for many years but lately I decided to do as much to stop being a doomer and bloom even later than the other people. This is the week's progress. 1 - Someth…

First lucid dream experience didn’t expect it to feel like this — I had what I think was my first lucid dream last night, and it honestly caught me off guard. Some point in the dream, I realized I was dreaming because the setting kept changing in small weird ways th…

Just a few questions Mr Moonbeam. If you are so against the “act/live as if” what do you have to say about Dr. Joe Dispenza, Gregg Braden and Dr. Bruce Liptons, Napoleon Hill, Jim Rohn, Eckhart Toll…

I don't think this is a fair comment. It is extremely common for people to lie about their availability instead of simply saying "im not interested" and when it happens to someone often enough it beco…

Everyone, including the anxious people, put their best foot forward at the beginning. Anxious people expect it to always stay the same as it is in the honeymoon and that’s unrealistic for both sides.…

I can see your point with a lot of this. As someone who's worked a lot on myself emotionally, it feels like if I see someone else hasn't quite done the work or isn't emotionally and mentally there, th…

A lot of what people are recommending here are excellent. I just want to contribute the gist of anxiety is if you feed it, it grows. So the more you give into your anxiety and let it dictate your ac…

In other words you are putting others above yourself. You don’t listen to the inner voice that tries to protect you. You put yourself down. Think others are better than you. This is all self abandonme…

Yeah I've been doing AI therapy for a few weeks and it's very helpful. I've been employing a structured 3 step process of journaling, a set prompt for attachment theory + somatic processing and then p…

I guess I don’t believe everyone who interacts with an avoidant is anxious and I guess that is my key confusion around this. While I guess I can imagine a person being annoying and constantly asking i…

People seem to forget all the troubles they had to go through with their previous partner to get to the state when they "just get you" and naively expect it to happen automatically. It doesn't, both o…

I would expect it within a day or two, maybe three. If not, then I would feel like he wasn’t serious.

I get what you're saying. But all those positive steps are evidence that it could happen again, with someone who is more emotionally available or likes you more for who you are, or doesn't have whatev…

Have you ever considered self defense classes? That might boost your sense of safety. Otherwise, what if you view people pleasing as a tool to employ sometimes instead of one you use by default? Kin…

I think it's reasonable to expect it for you, especially if it's not that rare of a feeling for you. If this happened only every 10 years, I would say you're missing out. But you seem to have a good r…

Yeah, don’t do it! I used to wonder the same, and now I’m with an amazing man that showers me with more gifts than I think I deserve. I didn’t hint at wanting anything. One day it was just like a dam …

That's the standard assumption in American culture You don't have to be part of it though. I personally would not multi date past 2 dates, as in the past, it has led to me feeling disingenuous, or I…

Honestly I’m just not that great a dresser and I feel self conscious when a guy is better dressed than me, but I sort of expect it. Fashionable guys make me feel even more unfashionable than I already…

It has been extremely difficult to find. I had a friend say I shouldn’t expect it. She’s married…

I understand what you’re asking, but I struggle to answer it logically, so I decided to share a story instead—maybe it’ll make things clearer. Years ago, I was working at a company as an assistant …

Same thing happened to me. Grandparents left millions to my mom and her brothers. Her brothers are smart and hard working and their kids will be fine. My mother blew through it all (and all the mone…

Yes, I understand what your saying - that's why I detailed in my post above that following your above mentioned advice isn't bad per se. . However, different people require different methods of heali…

this is one of the most honest questions ive seen on here and i respect you for asking it heres what i think after going through something really similar being kind is never the proble…

Set the filter for age and you won’t get it unless they lie to get through which is always a red flag. You recognize that you have a look that isn’t mainstream. That will limit your matches. If you ar…

Standards of cleanliness has been such a problem in my last relationship, I didn't expect it to be as important as it is. Why the TV watching one? Two people fighting over one TV?

You have to kind of do things to help yourself along too though. You can’t just like…sit back and expect it to fall in your lap. For example, if you’re trying to manifest a new higher paying job, you’…

I went through a divorce 2y ago and felt like that was the end for me, romantically speaking. Like my soulmate had just walked out on me, on us, not a care for what he destroyed ( he had an affair wit…

I'm a 1.5th Gen East Asian American and a Gen Z, Idk if your definition of boy would fit for teenager? Or just kid under age 12? I came to US around 13 so already a teenager, I went to a middle class…

I had a really good childhood. Both my sister and I are dismissive-avoidant. Our parents were good parents, very supportive. The only thing I can think of is that they both worked a lot, and my sister…

And that costs $2000, just to "build rapport", i.e. figure out the therapist isn't a good fit and you need to start over again with another one, which also might not be a good fit. And it's not like I…

Feeling the exact same way. Cry, scream, stay in bed, get outside—do whatever you need to do to process these feelings. My choice: staying in bed and crying. It’s been a year and sometimes the pain co…

I didn't say you did, I said that's how I fulfill my physical touch deficit when I don't have a partner.. regarding your PPS: I genuinely couldn't care less. I fully expect that the people I date migh…

I didn’t expect it to be a precursor for love or dating. I very intentionally set out to find a sexual partner I had great chemistry with that I could explore with and who I could rebuild my sexual co…

I am a womam. I am your height, and I was a doctor (until I got a chronic health condition myself) It sounds as if your partner has internalised his mothers toxic eating disordered language as bein…

I feel this It'll happen when you least expect it, just relax If you want a partner, you need to work at it. It's a numbers game You need to give people more to see how you really feel When yo…

From a guy's perspective: I'm 42 now and my late wife was 9 years older than me. Like you, she looked younger than she was. Our running joke when we started dating was that between my hair starting t…

« As we all know, how Neville emphasised on imagination and it is what shapes our outward realities but that can only happen when you are in a state of flow. » That’s not exactly true. 😉 I and many…

The only reason I can even entertain the possibility that it wasn’t physical is because the texts I saw were honestly embarrassingly immature. I mean, if you are going to risk blowing up your marriage…

I’ve been going to therapy for years now over a relationship I had with a female narcissist. I’m not saying that that’s what you are, I’m not qualified to diagnose that, but your post gives me some se…

This is gonna sound crazy. But you can just use your words. “I love performing oral on you, but I expect it in return”.

Because in the USA at least, it has been an unspoken rule in the 250 years of the existence of this country that you are not treated or seen as fully White by White people if you don’t have two fully …

I was thinking the same. If she wants it at this young age, you can expect it to continue as she ages. Personally, I find Botox women grotesque.

I spent a lot of time anticipating a change and not living in the now. My current job came after I decided to drop not feeling good enough. I would go to the gym and feel employed. Not sure why being…

I could have written this exact post 5 years ago (see my username). I kissed a lot of dating app frogs, went on many bad dates (some good), and felt endlessly discouraged, but I eventually found the m…

In a legal framework you cannot use a definition given in civil laws for criminal laws nor can you use interpretation of law the literal rule method to explain etymology of a word to fit your case unl…

46f I have been single for most of my adult life— like since college, so i have gone about my life how i always have. I just got to a point where I was tired of the apps in my early 30s and figured…

I don't know that a 6th house Gemini stellium *has* to be bad. What if you had both benefics and the sun in there? It just means that 6th house/Gemini themes are going to be really prominent in your l…

There really is no trick to stay locked in. You need resilience and mental fortitude. That’s it. In other words ignore and persist until it’s materialized how you expect it. Read the work and the sam…

The most important thing is your safety, OP. Never forget that. The car, clothing, books, and everything else can and will be replaced in time. Get your meds, SS card, driver's license, and anything e…

So....you are amazing. Your wife could literally die or become disabled or a 100 other things. I do not thing it has been common in the past and I expect it to be more common in the future. Your p…

Can’t come back from this. He’s not going to change, not ever. You obviously don’t want to divorce him, so the only advice you can really get is to expect it to keep happening.

As a widower, I honestly don't think your situation is all that different from ours. You didn't expect it or want it and your life was ripped away from you. I really think people who divorce under you…