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Graduating to nGranny — I'll (\~30F) be a new mom soon (yay) but of course, I have an nmom who is over excited about the news because, Facebook bragging rights + new ways to be possessive. I've been working towards low con…

How should this sub respond to reddit's api changes, part 2 — We stand with the disabled users of reddit and in our community. Starting July 1, Reddit's API policy blind/visually impaired communities will be more dependent on sighted people for moderation. When …

This is a support sub. Be kind to each other. — Almost everyone who comes here is here because they are going through a very painful and difficult time. We're not all at our best. If you go into someone's topic, remember that they came here askin…

Handling another crush as a FA — Hello all, spring is here and so is a new crush. I really can't get used to how excited but anxious my butterflies and fantasies make me. Sometimes they make me so anxious to the point I get dysfuncti…

Donation-Based: Visualization Meditation Workshop on Repairing Insecure Attachment: Sunday 13th of April — The course will cover basic Ideal Parent Figure Protocol (IPF)/attachment repair. This course is good for people who want to learn about IPF/Attachment Repair. 9am to 1pm this Sunday 13th April on…

Even as an FA the one thing I'll never understand about avoidants is how they can hate someone they cared about a week ago. — I was reflecting and journaling on my past relationships, and taking full responsibility for past mistakes. I'm an FA so there were times when I thought I needed external validation to feel whole, and…

Best Practice HTTP Status Code for Proxy-Level Content Validation Failure? — Working on an API gateway/proxy that sits in front of APIs. The proxy adds its own validation layer (toxicity, etc). I'm wrestling with an API design choice: when my **proxy's** validation rules bloc…

Is there FLOSS no-code software to build a static website with modern animation like Framer? — Hi, here's a little bit of context: I know nothing about coding, but apparently we can host a static website for free on github, so I searched some ways to build a website in no-code for free. I'v…

What's new in AI for marketing: YouTube is testing AI reviews, will it reduce clicks? Google discusses search ranking volatility, beyond — Sometimes it’s so hard to keep up with all the AI news. It seems like it's taking over every platform and us as well. But the most important thing is staying updated on everything important. So let’s …

Plan to build the healthiest farm-to-table meal delivery service. Seeking advice. I will not promote. — I WILL NOT PROMOTE. Plan on building what I believe can be the cleanest and most transparent farm-to-table meal delivery service brand, and I’d love feedback from anyone who’s worked in DTC, food or j…

Shopify Store, removed Theme — Hi together, I was testing a theme and wanted to buy it. The theme was from a new developer. Now you can no longer find the theme in the Shopify store apparently it has been removed. This would be t…

Ready to Boost Your Business? Our Pro Team Can Help! — hope you’re doing great! I wanted to reach out and let you know we’re currently helping businesses like yours grow faster with our proven organic and paid advertising strategies. Whether you’re looki…

{Weekly Discussion} Google seems to be giving the thumbs up to Reddit's AI Scaled Machine Translations — Background - during an earnings call, Reddit said that google said thumbs up to the idea of publishing AI machine translated content - apparently something they've penalized others before. [Gagan Gho…

Founders, Seriously, Please Don't Quit your Day Job (I will not promote) — I say this as a lifelong Founder who spends all his time trying to make other people lifelong Founders - **"Please don't quit day job" ... at least not yet.** Seriously, hold on to that steady incom…

OpenAI is testing product placements - has your store received traffic? — Apparently, OpenAI is [testing product placement](https://x.com/OpenAI/status/1916947243044856255), as "hyped" by Tobi of Shopify. Has your store seen any evidence of these oproduct placements?

All child pages give 404 and can only be edited in Elementor on safe mode. — I'm using Elementor to edit my Wordpress website. I am using the Astra theme, and I have Woocommerce on my product pages. I am able to see and edit any of my parent pages, but if I nest a page unde…

Weird behavior with display grid and overflow — Please help me make sense of the fact that we need to set overflow to hidden to .right for the layout to respect the grid-template-rows property in this example: https://codepen.io/Jcbz/pen/XJJYKRg …

Best Practice For Canonical URLS — Hi everyone, I haven't used reddit much for anything besides lurking and memes, so its time to try it for crowdsourcing information. I'm looking to implement a rule set for a very large catalog of p…

Medium sized win I wanted to share — My wife has ran and operated a women’s boutique for 8 years and in March we purchased it from the parent company. She has two full time employees and 8 part time employees as well as an online store a…

MySQL Database Quota Reached - Clean database — Hey everyone, I’m currently hosting several websites on SiteGround’s GoGeek plan which comes with 40 GB of web space. Most of my websites use between 1–3 GB, with one around 5.3 GB. However, one of m…

Being a parent exposed everything bad about running a small business — Before kids, I founded and ran a small food delivery business for 5 years. It was locally loved, I had a steady stream of orders, and from the outside, it looked like freedom. But then I had my first…

The successful are not here — After years of watching YouTube videos about startup / founder stuff and reading blogs, Reddit, and the horrible place that is LinkedIn, I came to realize that 99.9% of advice (especially in the SaaS …

Strange Issue with WPBakery Page Builder in Editor — 3 Admins on same WP Site (site is up to date). Editing or Creating new Page -> 1 Admin sees WPBakery Page Builder Header etc. - the others don't. In Browser Dev Console nothing to see. Tried it via …

How do I arrange my main services, sub services, and sub services for different location pages? — I'm trying to redo the structure of our website and target include more location pages. The way we see it and what an SEO guy recommend Is to get to rank to the city, how about we target suburbs first…

Anyone Else Feel Relationships just Aren't for them? — Hello all, I'm basically pretty severely A.P. , & so far I've been unable to get close to anyone (romantically) in my life without just exploding with terror that I'll be abandoned (or feeling a stro…

I (re)earned my secure attachment this week. What a journey this has been. — I just wanted to share this diary dump with anyone who wants a success story. I believed myself to be FA/A for a long time, and this week I can finally call myself secure. TW: sexual assualt Despite …

Help me understand-anxious now ex bf + part avoidant ex gf — My anxious ex and I met in ‘22. Online I was a full dismissive avoidant I began to work on myself in October’23. Since October ‘23,I have been a dismissive avoidant in recovery Recently,I have …

Having trouble differentiating between anxious attachment / normal needs, feeling lost and alone — First Reddit post here! (It's a long one, I just really need a place to put it all down and get some support, so thank you). I (19F) got out of my first long term relationship about 3 months ago. It l…

Detachment or deactivation? — Me (23M) and my ex (22F) broke up one month ago because she was feeling overwhelmed by some arguments we had due to changes in our lives (new place to live, new work). She's FA. I was secure for almos…

For avoidants (and those leaning/earned secure): is this avoidant behavior? Do you really move on—and why no closure? — For avoidants (and those leaning/earned secure): is this avoidant behavior? Do you really move on—and why no closure? I began therapy 4 months into our situationship because of how strong he came on,…

We should keep in mind that its a spectrum.. — I realized something in my relationship and it is not much shared in this way so maybe it helps someone else I am anxious and my fiancee is avoidant. He is very introverted and trying to deal with hi…

Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…

I earned secure attachment in 4 months... — I can't believe I'm writing this. I did this without dating a secure person and without spending money on courses/apps. I promise I'm not selling anything. Big disclaimers: * I am only mostly secure…

Recovering DA trying to reconnect with FA wife — For context: * I (40M) am a DA, my wife (41F) an FA. We have three children. * Together for 17 years, married for 13 years, distant/no-touch for over 10 years but stable and no deep conflicts. * Cont…

What I'm realizing: I relate closest to others with deep trauma and that is a troublesome recipe. — TW: addiction, suicide, physical and emotional abuse, CSA. I have CPTSD, routine struggles with depression and anxiety and the corresponding executive dysfunction. I grew up with an alcoholic parent…

Being DA but really wanting kids — Ever since I was 5, I’ve known I’ve wanted kids. I spent my teen years fantasising about having them, and felt like having kids was the best thing ever. I love the idea of caring for kids and helping …

Half Day Meditation Workshop For Anxious Preoccupied and Fearful Preoccupied: Focusing on the sense of "unpredictable threat" or "uncaused anxiety', this Sunday 7th of December 2025, Donation based. — Half day meditation workshop on healing "anxiety without cause". It's this Sunday December 7th 2025. Donation based. If you can't make a donation due to finances then you can apply for a scholarship…

Master’s degree, big scholarship, and leaving a toxic situation — Background: I was keen to leave my toxic family situation for years but let’s just say it wasn’t happening. I got a good job in my hometown, I found someone I loved who was desperate to marry me, I …

Dating someone with a fearful-avoidant style has been unexpectedly… gentle? — I wanted to share a relationship experience that’s been genuinely interesting and surprisingly positive, especially for FAs and anyone curious about FA dynamics. If you are not interested in some per…

For those hurting, advice for your 2026 and my story — Hello everyone, **Preface** I am an anxious attacher, so my experience by-and-large is with dismissive avoidants and fearful avoidants. It is not my intent to villainize these attachment styles; thi…

PSA: Posts to RBN must be about your parent(s) and/or primary caregiver(s). — Folks, For a while now, we've been getting a steadily increasing amount of posts that we consider to be off-topic. As our subreddit name suggests, submissions must be centred around your parent(s) or…

Anxious Attachment Help — I'm a 44 M and feel like an emotionally secure relationship is impossible. What's helped you heal? I feel like everything in my life has been taken from me and have a difficult time finding motivation…

What qualities to look for in a therapist — Previously, I had been working with a somatic therapist for 6 years (on trauma healing, not specifically attachment related) and a few months ago they closed their practice for personal reasons on *ve…

Trading book recommendation! For those trying to fix attachment issues. — “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents” -by Lindsay C. Gibson, PHD This book helped me realize that, at my core, I struggle with dating and attachment because it’s hard for me to comprehend …

I deactivated again while healing, wondering whether your experiences are similar — A few days ago I (DA) deactivated again, the first time after working on healing (4 months now). It was short (just 10 hours) but gave me more understanding. For context, I'm trying to reconnect with…

Can I get some assurance from reformed people pleasers 🥲? — And some advice? Not necessarily on "what to do" because I know how to set boundaries in theory. It's managing the guilt and fear of fallout that I struggle with and I do because all my life any time …

Trying to navigate a "casual" relationship — Hi everyone, I (30F, trans) have been talking to/seeing a woman (24F, cis) for about 5 months. The chemistry is legitimately the strongest I’ve ever experienced - emotional, intellectual, creative, s…

Bf of 14 months hasn’t said I love you — My bf (35M) and I (33F) met December 2024 on a dating app and became exclusive immediately after our first date. On our first few dates he asked what I was looking for and I said I was looking for som…

I'm so tired of people. — For reference, a couple of years ago, I was in an abusive relationship that kinda changed who I am. I won't go into too much detail, but let's just say that I used to be outgoing and fun, but also I h…

I finally realized my fear of closeness is really a fear of being known — I've been working to understand myself better as a DA, in part with the help of Reddit. I now feel the last puzzle pieces fell into place and I finally have a coherent story of why I am the way I am. …

I want love but can't push past knowing that I would be a burden in all of my relationships — Hi, I am a 26F and want to seek some advice from this subreddit because I truly do not know who else I can talk about this with, and writing has always been easier than talking out loud. Sidenote: I …

This is a great read, thank you for the effort put into it. As someone who sort of knew they were emotionally neglected but never really understood it was a real thing before I discovered this sub, t…

Are there people that REALLY HONESTLY get all, or most, of that from their parents? If parents did all of that, they’d be pretty special don’t ya think? Mine sucked!

Just found this sub, I know I'm a little late commenting. One thing that I think can be added in relation to how emotional neglect can cause PTSD: People think of PTSD as something that is a threat …

The very first paragraph really struck me. I haven’t learned how to copy text here yet since I’m new to Reddit. But “Non-intrusive and engaged curiosity from parents about what you were feeling and ex…

This was so helpful to me. I’d be interested to learn more about the potential effects of a parent who was always physically present, but whose emotional availability varied to extremes for the first …

Physically present but (often) emotionally unavailable describes my parents pretty accurately along with, I'm sure, most if not all of the parents of people reading this sub. I once heard Gabor Mate m…

Ok- I dunno how to approach this. My parents did *not* talk about feelings. Still don't-- small town German-Irish silence. I never once witnessed conflict resolution-- just behind the back bottling an…

Hi there - you may want to post this as a new thread (a toplevel post) or as a comment in the weekly check-in thread since not many people are going to see it here. I think basically all parents who …

Thanks for this. The 'element of conscious choice' bit is interesting. I see how earnest I am to teach and share now, but still see some elements of passivity that my parents had-- a permissiveness,…

Sigh theres a book I read that said even parents who were average at these things made a huge difference in their kids lives. Was a lot for me coming to terms with my own reality.

Thank you so much for this, it’s cathartic to see the traits childhood emotional neglect can cause. I always just thought well this is how I am like I was just made this way, and seeing them as result…

Just a few questions here - I'm new to lucid dreaming. I garden quite a bit, so I can grow Artemisia douglasiana and a few other helpful herbs and make a poultice or something. I usually don't rem…

I was neglected from birth till, well, now, and have CPTSD for 28479227392 reasons related to my parents and to other experiences. I don't think focusing on blame is useful. I can't blame my one paren…

Hey there’s a Z code in the DSM 5 for emotional neglect, I’m sure. I haven’t looked but there’s a lot of different Z codes to help identify life circumstances, to give a bigger picture to the F code d…

I had a really concerning dream just now and fear of my boyfriend didn't wake me up something bad was going to happen to me.. It started off in a house I've never seen before the kitchen was upstairs…

TIL both my parents harmed me, and they were divorced and separated. They both blame the other or me. Lovely. They’re dead to me, lost causes.

So... basically, I parented my parents... I knew this. Doesn't make it hurt any less.

This was a helpful read, especially the confronting bit. I'm worried I'm told I need to confront my parents but I don't want to.

You don't *have* to confront your parents. Some people find it therapeutic to write a letter to whomever, express all the hurt and anger you feel, say whatever you want to say, using profanities, etc…

I think a better phrasing would be assigning responsibility, not blame. Our parents neglected their responsibilities to us when they neglected us. It's less about pointing a finger at a person and mor…

Hi. My mother and father to a lesser degree were emotionally neglectful. It is a miracle that I’m still here and have been able to do all that I’ve done. But I’ve done a lot of work and healing and I’…

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way and going through this. It sucks she wouldn’t give therapy a chance. You can’t control others actions and feelings. I hope you can find meaning and joy in your kids …

What has been bouncing around in my head is “why does the parent do this? Why can they not just do the bare minimum?” which has made me contemplate if they have had their own share of abuse, or a ment…

So I want to post in this sub as an adult child of divorce, but I know some of my takes will probably come across as personal to the parents here going through divorce and so I don’t know how to post …

So I just wrote a comment today on another post that might help too: You’re being too hard on yourself. Your divorce is completely fresh and you need to give yourself grace and allow yourself to feel…

I have a feeling that many parents who emotoinally neglect were neglected themselves. How can you learn to connect with your child if that was never modeled to you? So many children were and still ar…

Thank you for sharing this 🙏 I have a follow up question if anyone could help answer. I've been trying to heal from this, and I want to be able to share my journey with friends and extended support n…

It's so easy to resent and want to blame your parents, but don't you think the way you where raised where how your grandparents raised them? Finding compassion, and understanding that your parents did…

I was literally just thinking the same thing, and wondering what I have been doing in respect to emotionally neglecting my daughter. And my answer is probably, and I'm fucked up too. I try my best, bu…

Hello, I'm Kale, and Im 34. I was just married 3 months ago after being in a loving 8+ year relationship with the kindest person I've ever met. Three days ago she told me she had developed a relation…

PLEASE READ IF YOUR LOOKING INTO ASTRAL PROJECTING. About 2 months ago I was looking extremely deep into astral projecting, once I seen what it was I was instantly drawn to it and thought it was inter…

Reading this now and all I can say is same, and you’re not alone. All I’ve ever wanted is for my parents to show some level of engagement and curiosity in my life. How am I doing? What interests me ri…

I think its more about your relationship to it, like personally and privately. Before you bring your caregiver into the conversation. If you hurt your child by ignoring their feelings when they were c…

Try therapy. Just remember that therapy can take a long time and be expensive.  If you haven't already in the meantime, try looking for parenting classes.  Or try parenting forums, if a specific p…

Definitely true. My parents in law have been together for 40 years, married for 32. They started dating when she was 16 and he was 24! Something that's literally illegal in most places now and situati…

Yes it's few. Can take months, but a change or at the very least some thoughts of thinking from the desire will be noticed within 2 - 3 weeks, IF you are doing the technique correctly. And they may ev…

Let me tell you about the first experience I had with the LOB. Back then I only knew about Neville and read a few lectures here and there. In my 2nd year of University, in one of my exams, I did not …

Apparently a lot of it was gimmick advertising, which explains why they all sounded so similar

Yes! Agree. It's just like affirmations are just as effective, but they rarely give me "that" feeling. It took alot of time get in my head that emotions was a reaction to a present true thought. And…

Just found this sub and consider it a safe place. My mother is a narcisist and my father is just there. I suffer from complex-ptsd from emotional neglect, and verbal,emotional abuse. I just recently…

Only these from your long list above, can be argued to relate to the LOB : " *”Whenever He decrees a matter, He says to it, “Be!” and it is.” (Quran 2:117, 3:47, 19:35, 40:68) ☪️* *Prophet Muhamm…

>The objective of LOB or LOA is to build lasting faith, not just temporary faith, over the long term to effect change subconsciously in the face of obstacles in life no matter what negatives are in th…

Hey there! It’s great that you’re so self aware. I would say (since you asked for advice!) is that you could work on your anxious type behaviours, otherwise they tend to just push us avoidants away ev…

This is the one. I'd also add that attachment doesn't just stop at partners — it's also at play at work, friendships, family relationships/siblings, and even children. It's really fucking hard to be …

They can be self critical, but that's actually the opposite of being accountable and aware because typically it's just another way to ruminate. I also think that tendency in general is what drives the…

Fluctuations, yes. You're talking about the fluctuation toward 80% being the anomaly, and that the normal amount of time would be far less. And, no, there are plenty of secure people who enjoy greate…

One way to avoid over reliance on a therapist is to internalize a new set of secure parents that fulfill your needs and re-wire your internal map. The protocol, if you want to learn more about it, is …

I totally relate to the awful feelings of seeing an avoidant ex move on super quickly while you are still reeling from the triggering and retraumatization of that relationship. Going through it right …

Reading over the threads it’s apparent that lack of communication is a key component in the avoidant flip and leave confusion…If they actually communicated how they felt and what they needed and wante…

I’d recommend looking into psychodynamic approaches to therapy that is centered around the therapeutic relationship and the feelings that come up in the process. Feeling like my therapist is my whol…