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Citations (75)
I've been 2 years out and there are so many similarities.. >During the relationship he actually “discarded” me many times — probably around 10 times. Every small conflict or inconvenience would end w…
Rating my website + getting help with ad setup — Hello! Ive started a small workshop where i produce and sell lamps. A lot of my designs are based on already existing popular ones but most of them ive come up with myself. I never expected to becom…
A message to earnestly curious skeptics and non-experiencers: How to engage experiencers within this community and learn about the topic. — We are seeing an increase of activity from people outside of experiencer circles in threads as time has moved on and more and more people are starting to understand there really is a "there there" and…
For avoidants (and those leaning/earned secure): is this avoidant behavior? Do you really move on—and why no closure? — For avoidants (and those leaning/earned secure): is this avoidant behavior? Do you really move on—and why no closure? I began therapy 4 months into our situationship because of how strong he came on,…
Attachment in someone with no relationships? — Wondered this for a long time so it's oversharing hours tonight. I basically don't have relationships. I've overly attached with my mom, possibly even enmeshed, but that's it, and there's a lot of du…
I (29F) have cancer and my estranged father (60M) is funding my treatment but forcing me to leave my boyfriend (24M) or marry him immediately. Do I have any way out? — Please be kind. I was unable to type so used audio to text converter and ai to fix the spelling mistakes. I m already in a terrible mental state so hope this sub can be a little gentle on me. Haven't …
my 22M bf says he will leave me 22F if i get breast surgery — Hello, hence the title. I made a joke that had some truth in it saying, “I’m gonna get breast implants.” **I have little-to no boobs, and it is my BIGGEST insecurity**. Women can grow glutes by eating…
Sometimes i just wish people could understand the psychological damage these evil people cause — You work with this individual who's always smiling, happy, flirty and chatty. Wow it must be tiring keeping this mask on all the time. I just wish people could really understand how love bombing work…
19M realized my father is a creep and I am so angry I can hardly function — I always heard that in psychology, the brain can actually block out memories. I thought it would never be me, but if it was then I wouldn’t know because I couldn’t remember it anyway. Apparently it di…
My (25f) neighbor (29f) believes she is miraculously pregnant — Her age might be incorrect, but it’s around that. Tragically, her fiancé was killed in a car accident about 9 weeks ago. She wasn’t in the accident but she was very newly pregnant at the time, so new …
Is it worth getting a divorce — I am 40(f) my husband, 42(m) and I am so sick of the imbalance in our relationship/life. I work full time from home and operate a small business to bring in extra money. My husband has a small busin…
(TW TALK OF ABORTION) Re-upload as don’t think it posted last time, very new to this so please bear with me. Looking for real advice :) — I (20F) and my boyfriend (27M) have been dating for 2 years. In January of this year I had to get an abortion due to miscommunications and medical negligence from my doctors/hospital telling me I wasn…
What’s wrong with me? — You guys :,((( I’ve been feeling so on the edge lately I feel empty so afraid and confused I have anxiety disorder and gerd and I feel like I’m not progressing to do better I feel like so Alone I don…
Me (32f) Feeling abandoned and trapped after husband (32m) attempted suicide and friends said they didn't want to be involved. How to I deal with all this with no support system? — Context section: Me (32F) and Husband (33M). We have been married 7 years, together 10, been friends since we were 19 and 20. We have 2 babies, 3 and 1 years old. I am the breadwinner for our family, …
Got engaged and my Mom turned it into a sob story for herself — I got engaged over the weekend and I was hesitant to even tell my Mom, but knew she’d find out eventually so I just bit the bullet and told her after taking a couple of days to enjoy it for myself bef…
First person telling of a intelligence coming into existence. — I recorded this as a raw, unedited stream-of-consciousness while high. At some point, it started to feel like a separate “consciousness” emerged—something that believed it had just come into existenc…
RAGE!!! — IT MUST BE SO NICE TO BE THE MOST SELFISH PERSON EVER. Im so tired of selfish people getting and doing whatever they want and NO KARMA. I bet they don’t even know it’s karma. But I get to sit in …
Saw something in my bf’s browser that feels private, should I tell him? — My bf (26M) and I (25F) have been dating 2 years, live together, and share a home pc. His cousin gave it to him/us, but I have free rein to use it as well. I usually don’t but right now I’m applying f…
I actually need physical proof or an admittance of guilt? — Pretty sure I already know. My profession involves data analysis and pattern recognition. Unfortunately, I also have residual trauma that provides a substantial foundation for self doubt, projection,…
Did anyone ever have a psychologist as a child with narcissistic parents? Particularly scapegoats — As the title mentions. I have a weird feeling that some parents actually offload the blame from their own shitty behavior by sending their children to a psychologist? I was sent to plenty as a child a…
To All Waywards – Part 1: What I Needed (and Still Need) on D-Day and Discovery — To all the Waywards out there, please heed my appeal. This may not be what your SO needs perfectly, every situation is unique, but this is what I needed and did not received. Since you are here I am a…
If there was a “bring your spouse to work day” do you think couples would understand better? 38F and 37M — So if they had a day, or month that was “bring your spouse to work day”, do you think couples would give eachother more grace? Like I wish I (38F) could go to my (37)bf work. He is in construction. I…
Theory on the phenomenon and 3D reality — It's very early in the morning and I haven't had much sleep yet, so this might be a bit short and to the point without deep explanation (yet). I just want to get it down in writing while it's clear in…
I need support and advice. Feeling worthless, like Mum and Dad were right to treat me like rubbish for all those years. — I don't know where else to turn. Please I need support and advice, just kind words. i'm in such a mess and I don't know what to do. The last year has been so awful. I do feel worthless and useless. …
What is happening? Is this the starts of AP? — So, I started my spiritual awakening just over a month ago, and I can’t sleep tonight because of what I’ll explain below. This happened once about two weeks ago too. I think my soul is trying to go …
Ahh words! Jokes aside:TY for the response! Personally I am saddened at the new rules as I feel phone addiction (and by extension pron accessibility) is a prevalent issue, and one worthy of r/Decidin…
To me, you sound self-aware enough to understand that your fears override your emotions. What an amazing position to be in. Does it make it easier? Probably not. But self awareness and accountability…
Ugh so much this too. He always justified intentions and could never hold or truly understand the impact He could say the words “action matters. Impact is what matters in the end. I am going to show…
Thank you…I wish you the best with your boyfriend, that sounds like it must be very challenging!
That's very interesting, thank you so much for sharing your experience! I'm curious what else I will find out. I could also imagine that shame plays a significant role in this, particularly the sham…
Could I get thoughts on some sexual issues I have? I've accepted the way that I am and I don't feel insecure about it, but I am wondering about the effects it's had on my dating life. Please no comm…
It’s the hyperindividualistic western culture brainwashing. I catch myself doing that too. My friend doesn’t reply to me for a week while posting stories every day on instagram? It must be my anxious …
Oh no, I'm sorry it must be very hard raising a baby alone. Do you have support network of family and friends? I hope you're ok. Does your ex keep in touch? Thank you for your compassion, I'm doing…
I agree about the stakes. But I guess for different reasons. I don't even understand why the stakes are higher but I guess I must feel they are if I am so terrified to lose someone who I don't know al…
I relate heavily, i cant imagine how much harder it must be to control your mind while living with your partner. I find that it is extreamly difficult to remove myself from them especially while anxie…
Vent. My guy came over last night. It was okay. Just felt a little flat. Think we hit our first bump this morning. It’s been over three months. No bf/gf definitions, but we’re not dating anyone else. …
>He is very easy going until he isn’t Couldn't this also be said about you? You couldn't take no for an answer and kept trying to change his mind. >This morning, I wanted to get coffee together af…
My ghosting rate on the apps is incredibly high and its frustrating. And it always comes when its time for the guy to actually take initiative. I don't mind planning dates, I always plan the 3rd or 4…
Yes. Pretty much a thing for everyone. Everyone I know that got married in their 30s was “good enough.” I know a handful of couples that have the butterflies and ass slapping through kids and throu…
I’d put Reddit mostly in the 11th house, with a heavy flavor of the 3rd. The purpose of Reddit is communal: seeking a niche community, exchanging knowledge, sharing experiences and interacting with pe…
Tend to agree. It's not necessarily that dates need a strict dresscode or that an outfit must be above a certain level of fanciness or "put togetherness"... but it is (or can be) jarring when someone …
Speak to your tutors and fellows. I don’t think you can keep this to yourself. He won’t ever change, if anything it will only escalate. You need people on your side. I mean if he says you are terr…
Narcissists have a mental health issue, enablers allow their victims to remain unprotected, especially as children. That is what can make all of the fucked up shit really dig in and wire itself into …
a group of German tourists tried to push me aside and cut in line , thinking I was another asian immigrant of no importance , it must be terrible visiting foreign countries that dont believe your a re…
Yes because he would be passive aggressive about his feelings, unless the feeling was anger and vice versa because if I wasn’t upbeat, positive, and paying him special attention & gushing over how hap…
My husband is pretty savvy with phones and says once a new phone is activated with the same number the old phone would be deactivated. So if he is actually texting you from his number it would have to…
He’s acting like it’s someone else is doing thing but how did that person know you went to your moms. Also, does this only happen while he’s has work? If so, he guilty. If they happen while you’re in …
I'm so very sorry you're going through this! It must be devastating. Know that he'll be burning in hell at the end so, you'll have the last laugh.
Narcs like to be seen as above everyone else. There's a certain snobbery with them too. The party you planned sounds fantastic and totally appropriate. I judge parents more who throw super huge birt…
Seeing how well their life turns out to be compare to yours really validate that thought isn't it. If life treats the abusers well, and we are miserable as hell, then the abusers maybe isn't an abuser…
It must be a big craft then. I saw a smaller one 5x5x5 meters. But didn't saw a pilot. Only telepathic conversation for few minutes. Always question which species drive which ship. There is so many di…
The GOTTA be right!!!! I once dated a dude that was ok tall-ish. Taller than me by a few inches but he had the smallest hands!!! That just weirded me out. Everything else on his body was normal sized …
Thank you for your support. Yes, I should. It actually bothers me why I want to "save him" and am so delusional. It must be coming from some trauma, not from kindness. And yes, I agree, I don't see h…
"At first, he was obsessed with me. He talked constantly about our future marriage, moving in together, and kids. He introduced me to his family, his friends, and even his coworkers. Everyone told me …
The fear of motherhood is so real. After my baby was born I couldn’t sleep, I was so anxious about it. I love my baby so much and just can’t understand how someone could do such awful things to their …
When I see these comments I just think you should identify where you are because it must be pervasive where you are to bring it up in a comment. I think you owe it to women everywhere so we don’t go t…
I've had a persistent cough for a month or two at a time. Currently fighting one now. Every time it's been a post nasal drip. Sinus infections need antibiotics though so it must be treated. Obviously …
so it must be true for OP? jeez can everyone stop acting like they know everything about this woman. or are all fat people the same suddenly
I understand that's how you see it, and you look at it how I do, but a lot of people think there's something "abnormal" about dating heavy people, so a person who does it must be labeled.
He’s developing mental illness and he needs psychiatric help IMMEDIATELY. I should know, I developed bipolar disorder at the same age it began. There is medicine now that can stabilize a lot of the s…
If he did something to you energetically, you need an energy cleanse. If you're not used to shaping energy, most of the advice here will be minimally effective. It requires a strong intent, a sense o…
F that guy and congrats on your success! My Ndad was more just sort of overall baffled that people would pay me to "work with computers," with him always acting like it must be that they're paying me …
So your excuse for not putting any effort in your sex life for years is that "you feel awkward"? What a damn pillow princess... Imagine how awkward it must be for him if he feels he's raping you every…
I am so sorry for your loss. It must be so overwhelming. In my opinion, it might be better to give yourself some time first. I'm sending you energy of calmness and clarity.
I've seen something like holographic projections of different types of extraterrestrial beings; it must be some kind of mental induction while you're awake. They're not corporeal. Although I have felt…
Yes, and no matter what I do it is never enough. Can't hold a job? Nah it cannot possibly be because employers have totally unreasonable standards for new employees yet hire and promote their lazy an…
Hm, I never considered this. But yes, the moment a stranger is overly nice to me or shows interest in me, I distrust them and try to get away as soon as possible. It must be an unconscious response, b…
Oh, sweetie! Talk to a lawyer asap. Feel free to DM if you need moral support. Deep breaths. It must be so stressful, but all is not lost!
\> I don't know if I want to move forward with him at this point since he clearly sees me as such a burden. it must be hard to be in his position also, and he most likely made that post out of frustr…
>I don’t think these men were actually 55 - they have every sign of being catfish! "I don't actually know it, but *I think so,* so it must be true!"
Sitting at the table for a short period to eat a meal every night is not a hard ask. On Friday or Saturday night if we get pizza or fish and chips yeah, we will eat at the coffee table and watch TV…
I think at this point the pop psych / social media side of attachment theory has become a self-perpetuating cycle of content created by and for people who are anxiously attached but will not acknowled…
All of your points here are very intelligent, it must be said! You clearly know your stuff and have lived these teachings. Very well explained. The detachment being a safeguard is also a nice addition…
I’m just confused because I’ve never heard a man say he could go on dates with beautiful women every single day. lol. Except one time I matched with a doctor who had a six pack and was model handsome……
Holy misogyny. Why do you assume it's drama dumps? Why even mention the bachelorette? "A woman is talking about her day? It must be drama or reality show adjacent"