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Unfortunately everyone is different so what works for some may not work or work as well for others. I personally found IFS to be really helpful since "parts" gave me an intellectual framework to latch…
Other attachment styles — I know the normal 4: Secure, Anxious/preoccupied fearful avoidant, dismissive avoidant, plus disorganized, which is just sort of an "all of the above" In doing parts work, I've been trying to figure…
What parts of digital marketing are most valuable to learn in 2025? — I'm gonna begin learning digital marketing (as I'm already doing non-digital marketing) but I don't feel like (and don't have enough time & energy to) learning all kinds of it, I mean for instance SEO…
AWS network automation — I find myself in a funny position to redo part of the network in AWS. We have two parts: one is newer and uses transit gateways that are centralized in a single account, the other is older and vpc pee…
What does your design director do? — I'm an IC product designer and a bit mystified by higher level design leadership. I've been looking at job descriptions for design directors, and they'll say things like "drive [company]'s product des…
Why do most tech billionaires avoid flashy lifestyles—are there any who embrace extravagance? I will not promote — I’ve always noticed the contrast between how different the tech entrepreneurs are compared to the others who are in finance, fashion, entertainment, or property. It is almost the expectation in the ot…
Good user interviews? [I will not promote] — Hey r/startups, I've had some recent pain doing user interviews, and I'm wondering if it's something that can be fixed. Every tool I've looked at for help seems expensive, and tbh, pretty shit. I'd …
How do you make sure nothing falls through the cracks of your business operations? — I work with companies that use a ton of different tools (CRMs, inventory, payments, shipping, etc.). The problem I keep seeing is that things slip through the cracks, and no one realizes until it’s to…
Microsoft's interpretation of Journey Map vs Storyboard — Hey all I'm doing some Microsoft UX certification coursework and am puzzled on something that they don't seem to be clarifying very well. I know large companies may define parts / components of user c…
Spending more to potentially make more — It's hard to explain what I do but recently I spent around 2.5K to create a video game on the platform Roblox, the game is doing well and at it's current rate I would make my money back in around a mo…
Every day I try to do things right. Every day they say no. Now I duct-tape and maintain the mess I warn them about — Hey folks, Just wanted to drop this little gem of corporate masochism So I work at this company where we develop software for real state agencies, in this 'properties' sql table we have a field cal…
Best way to implement subscription paywall — I’m building a site that’s going to sell a $10 a month subscription to a personal development guide + other incentives. What are the best plugins for this? Basically the landing page will have content…
I (re)earned my secure attachment this week. What a journey this has been. — I just wanted to share this diary dump with anyone who wants a success story. I believed myself to be FA/A for a long time, and this week I can finally call myself secure. TW: sexual assualt Despite …
A little look into how fearful avoidants operate (aka, how one of my relationships ended - twice - because I was unaware of my patterns) — When I was 21 and *severely* fearful avoidant I dated a secure guy who was wonderful in every way, but obviously not for me. I did everything stereotypical of a fearful avoidant attachment does in a…
We should keep in mind that its a spectrum.. — I realized something in my relationship and it is not much shared in this way so maybe it helps someone else I am anxious and my fiancee is avoidant. He is very introverted and trying to deal with hi…
Any support groups out there for preoccupation with dating? — I think the obsessive thoughts and rumination around dating (status, ongoing situations) is a common thing in anxious attachment so seeking support here. Has anyone found any support groups or what l…
Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…
What I'm realizing: I relate closest to others with deep trauma and that is a troublesome recipe. — TW: addiction, suicide, physical and emotional abuse, CSA. I have CPTSD, routine struggles with depression and anxiety and the corresponding executive dysfunction. I grew up with an alcoholic parent…
The monster jar theory of FA or avoidant attachment. — So I was talking to a friend of mine and supporting her and my own feelings of shame and I was reiterating somethjng that isn’t anything new at all but hit on an analogy that really worked for both of…
Asking for input from those who are avoidant — (Forgot to add user flair.) Last paragraph has the question. But for context, I have someone in my life who has acknowledged they are avoidant. When I started looking into attachment styles I found t…
Projecting insecurities — Hi everyone, I’ve just realised something that I’ve been doing which I think is both an outcome of my low self esteem and also a way for me to find excuses to end relationships when otherwise I have n…
a song about longing for something that never was - disorganized attachment style edition (cathartic release) — Lyrics: I’m standing at a wishing well, One coin trembling in my hand, A promise pressed against my palm, A truth I barely understand. They told me I was unworthy, Long before I learned my name,…
i feel safe with being almost loved | disorganized attachment style anthem | i want love but i'm scared | (cathartic release) — Lyrics: Love, for me, is just a hallway, Soft light, shadows drifting slow. I see a silhouette approaching Then I turn before my heart can get too close. Sometimes I feel a brush of something ten…
A Splash of Cold-Water for you — **Background** Hey everyone, I'm a contributor to this subreddit, and spend time lurking from time to time. I'm quite familiar with every attachment style. I, myself, had to earn security from my ow…
I want love but can't push past knowing that I would be a burden in all of my relationships — Hi, I am a 26F and want to seek some advice from this subreddit because I truly do not know who else I can talk about this with, and writing has always been easier than talking out loud. Sidenote: I …
Porn and Energy — I'm interested to hear your views about how porn affects spiritual energy or any particular parts of it in your experience or otherwise.
Coming to terms with possible childhood emotional neglect - curious how others turned out — As I’ve gotten older and started reflecting on my life, I’ve slowly worked backwards and realised that I might have experienced childhood emotional neglect (CEN). What’s funny is that it actually sta…
I (28F) am tired of constantly having to ask or tell my partner (28F) how to love/care for me. Do I just move on? — I’ll start off by saying, I completely understand we have to communicate with others on the ways we want to be loved and cared for. This isn’t that anymore. My gf and I have been together for a littl…
Letting go of LUST — Dear fellow meditators, I have now been meditating for several months and have had tremendous success in letting go of a lot of insecurities I had.. This has helped in improving my social skills and …
Every time I post on social media, I feel less and less like there’s space for me on the Internet. — I grew up on social media, beginning on Xanga and MySpace at 10 years old. Then, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, as I grew up and entered adulthood. I’ve always over shared my life on the Inter…
Growing Up With a Perfectionist Parent Is Messing With My Sense of Self — Recently I’ve started noticing a pattern in the way my mom treats me and my siblings, and it’s been messing with my head a lot. I genuinely love my mom and I know she loves us deeply—she’s the kind of…
I made the worst mistake ever — Me (47f) and my partner (45m) met in April 2024, started seeing each other in August 2024 & moved to a serious status in March 2025. I had moved in as a roommate but now we share a room as partners. …
Trauma Bonding — Hi Guys! I am a Codependent in recovery. I am trying to break free from a Trauma Bonding. You may choose to answer only questions which you're comfortable with. You don't need to answer all the quest…
Just finished reading Big Asian Energy and I'm hooked. What should I read next? — I'm not usually a fan of personal development type books, but it felt like this book was speaking to me directly. There were so many parts I could relate to, like dealing with both internal pressure t…
Something I noticed after my breakup that nobody warned me about — Something I didn’t expect after a bad breakup was how confusing the memories become. When you're in a relationship, certain moments feel clearly wrong! But after it ended, my brain started replaying…
AP’s Ex-wife was told not to talk to me. — My original post is. [https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/s/b5fIkVp6Yr](https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/s/b5fIkVp6Yr) Something that has been on my mind after having a text conv…
Discharged after a 3 star Google review — Hi! I have autism so I sometimes have a hard time figuring out how I come across . But I was at a practice that provided both APRN services and therapy . I posted a three star Google review saying I …
NHI that Stop Time and Timelessness of the Oversoul; More Research that Supports how Aliens Obscure Human Memories. — Hi everyone. This is [me](https://www.reddit.com/r/Experiencers/comments/1ai4nzi/i_had_26_physical_contact_events_with_grey_aliens/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_c…
I Won’t Stop Sharing This — I’m sharing this because people deserve to know how broken the mental health system in Utah can be. I saw a therapist for two years. During that time she had me coming up to three times per week doin…
What happens with Rahu 1 native is in relationship with Ketu 1 native? — My understanding is that Rahu represents the head and Ketu represents the body and they are two parts of one whole. What happens when these two people find each other?
What can 'normal' people do to bring open contact a step closer? — I wonder what 'normal' people, like most of us here I assume, can do to help bring open contact a step closer? Do we have any agency in these matters? If so what do people here feel we can do or wh…
18 months after my husband’s affair and the “ick” just hit. Has anyone ever gotten attraction back after this? — About 18 months ago I discovered my husband had been having an 3 year long emotional affair with a coworker that he admits he was actively pursuing. We decided to try to reconcile. To his credit, he …
Idealization vs Devaluation: how it looked like for me — Tldr: Just read the Idealization and devaluation parts. ## Idealization * You're a king! * You sexy tiger, handsome god of a man * You're the best! * Gives gifts early on in the relationship * On…
(trip report) Telepathic communication through high doses of psilocybin — Dose: 8g (Myself), 5g (Brayden, first time), others 3–4g Setting: Friend’s house, nearby park, neighborhood walk Time: 3:00 PM – 9:00 PM Participants: 5 friends So a couple years ago me and my …
Finally Got a Lucid Dream... So I Tested your Queries in it — Hey guys, this is gonna be a bit of a long one lol. \[CONTEXT\] For a while, I've been trying to lucid dream, but was too lazy to consistently do training, write in journals, or set multiple alarms …
My(25F) boyfriend(25M) tells my mom too much and it pisses me off — This is a throwaway. We’re 25. We’ve been friends for a really long time and dating for 5 years. And my mom has known him since he was a kid cuz she’s his family doctor. They’re quite close too becaus…
I am 18F and I’m exhausted dealing with my Indian mom who practically worships her narcissistic, manipulative younger brother and lets him control my life while treating me like garbage. — My mom (44F) has two younger brothers. The one I’m talking about is the middle child. He’s married and has a 10-year-old daughter. In my opinion he is one of the most narcissistic, selfish, and arroga…
After 30 years of being a people pleasing, peace-keeping, manipulative, caretaking, dysregulated, codependency "addict," I've finally reached a point where I have enough control to simply STOP. In a very short amount of time, my whole entire life has changed. It's nearly impossible to describe. — The first part of this post is just context, and you can skip it all by scrolling down to **The Proof** I'm not going to go into much detail, but just for context: I experienced some pretty major chi…
self concept work is no joke — For years I have been manifesting things like money, good career, etc via scripting, visualization and other methods with ease. But I noticed that every time I acquired those things there was still …
Don’t you fear being too isolated? — I recently got rejected by a girl that I really liked. We started off as very good friends and unfortunately I caught feelings for her. So right now, I’m grieving the fact that I lost a really close f…
Are aliens helping us or hurting us? — For the past two or so years Ive been stuck in this very strange alien encounter where entities claiming to be aliens have taken over my mind, specifically my internal voice and imagination, but they …
Those Michael Raduga you tube videos... The 3 parts. I really want to watch/listen, however I am really struggling to concentrate on listening because the original sound of Michael Raduga's voice spea…
Let the silence eat those parts of you that made you stay there. Be angry, be ashamed, and grieve. Question all those nasty feelings and learn what they try to tell you. They usually are out to have t…
if you can AP iv heard of a few thing you can do to verify if parts of your experiences are real. like leaving a card in your window seal without looking at it and verify it in AP. Mostly you need to …
well the origine of our body parts , or people who look exactly like we do originate elsewhere in the lyra constellation , not earth , the lyra constellation is our true home and has planets with …
Fortunately I've taken my separation (and inevitable divorce) as an opportunity to quit drinking and make healthy lifestyle choices. I've been working really hard to practice mindfulness and radical …
The fact that you are able to recall all of this is amazing 😮 as opposed to dreams where it can be so choppy and we can only remember certain parts and pieces sometimes
Sounds pretty avoidant. That sucks - I’m sorry. Does she actually understand how important this is to you? If so, I might try having the conversation one more time, being clear that it’s a dealbreaker…
The only thing I would really recommend is learning about internal family systems. That kind of work *can* be done on its own but I did the majority of mine with a therapist. The book “No Bad Parts” b…
I've been in therapy for over a year for various reasons, and for me the first thing I needed to work on was my self image. Understanding and accepting myself, building confidence and a stronger sense…
Sure! Some happen in conversation Let's take the example of a simple question to which you can answer with a yes or a no Example 1: Question : - " Do you want to go to the movies tonight? " ( You…
Yes! I was thinking about Jung's Shadow and Assagioli's Subpersonalities just the other day. There are so many parts to our personality, often contrasting with each other, but we grow up feeling like…
It’s good that you’re reflecting on past relationships - that’s what transforms them from painful failures into learning experiences. 1) In confronting your deep sense of unworthiness (which I totall…
As a female FA, I have felt when dating that many men expected me to lead the emotional parts of the relationship which is difficult for FAs. I worked through the shame I felt about that in therapy. T…
You're having resistant parts. Get a couple of books on Internal Family Systems self-therapy, which is exactly providing a way to deal with why we have resistance and how to get those parts of ourselv…
I really appreciate your creative blend of attachment theory and parts work. BeeDee as "Invisible-Avoidant" reminds me of a part of myself that likes to go full hermit. I believe outcomes matter more …
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is an approach to [psychotherapy](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/therapy) that identifies and addresses multiple sub-personalities or families within each pers…
You will find the answer here - Moonlight Mailed Me ! : The No1 reason why people fail with their alpha programming. *Hi Everybody, I am one of moonlight's new cubs and his best for sure. I have a …
I've been doing parts work for a couple of years. I'm wondering if it may be more beneficial for you to analyze them, and their potential attachment style, less and just try speaking to them and being…
I think there is a lot of avoidance among parts There were for me also parts that were anxiously attached.
Naaa that's just parts-work. You're identifying emotions. Frame it however you want. Most people want to goddamn hide away sometimes.
Work on an observability team. I stood up grafana with influx, ran that for a few years, then we moved to a vendor. Grafana itself is pretty simple to run, it’s the backend data sources that are not…
I am actually working on something like this on my weekends. There are tons of moving parts to this and lots of decisions at each layer. As much as I hate k8s you are definitely missing out on some o…
I have a friend who hired Dan Kennedy to write a letter years ago. She paid $150K for him to write it and never used it. She gave it to me and said feel free to use it, extremely long copy, DK style. …
Backstage is a "free" IDP in the same way you would get a "free" car if some dumped all the parts of a Chevy on your desk and said "congratulations, here's your free ride." It's OK for hobbyists, but…
Amazing story. Unlike most people who have not journeyed through life, especially on the edge, like you have. You have interesting experiences to write and sharing. The experiences are worth more than…
Yes of course next parts will be around how to deploy production ready MinIO cluster on K8S, This two articles were like introduction beginner friendly, as POC for devOps and developers who wear the …
Hey. Interesting write up, it has some good references and shows some good understanding on modern software security. Though there are some parts I would critique for feedback: >Another layer that …
The first question is, why does the drugs trigger you? What are you imagining or feeling when they talk about it. Logically, it's just part of their past. If it was something that could happen again o…
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is an approach to [psychotherapy](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/therapy) that identifies and addresses multiple sub-personalities or families within each pers…
Before I say anything else, I want to say that there's no excuse for abuse, including emotional abuse. Ever. I'm sorry to hear you've experienced that. I also don't think an anxious person should sac…
Somatics and parts work. Check out the You Make Sense podcast, it's free and explains everything.
For this kind of work you have to look for someone who is trauma-informed (this does not mean you have to have big trauma, it just means they work from this lens which is super helpful), and someone w…
Oh you mean that as we showed our true selves and you looked disgusted we shoved those parts of ourselves down, the way everyone does as children?
It feels like love like that because it feels familiar to your nervous system, in some way like "home". But home is what gave you an insecure attachment style to begin with so it makes sense that the …
If you've ever had trauma, especially with a somatic response, you can consider attachment to be a form of trauma and it doesn't affect free will. Some parts of us aren't directly controllable, but t…
After being away for some time, the nervous system regulates and they make decisions from a calm safe space. And realize that they should (maybe) not have left the relationship, they were too rash, wh…
The learning that has made progress possible is also one of the hardest parts of this journey for me. As I work to heal my abandonment wounds and anxious attachment, I also find myself understanding t…
It's possible. In my case I don't deactivate after too much intimacy anymore when out of the dating stage, it's usually because I'm feeling like I'm neglecting other parts of my life. I'm still wor…
It’s never easy when it’s that early especially with other major life events like moving. That being said, sometimes the language we use about our exes can get in the way of our healing. I used to say…
That is true, thank you. I think I did need to learn a lesson. I know if I was truly secure, I would have walked away within the first few months after the deactivating and devaluing but I just couldn…
He broke up with me but I had broken up with him a few times the previous months I went no contact and then we talked once or twice before I blocked him so I couldn’t see him on anything and we’ve ne…
This made me cry. Thank you so much for your kind words and sharing your experience, it gives me hope that something beautiful is waiting for me past this pain. As much as there has been so much hurt …
Healing without going no contact is really hard. I think you might benefit from reading "Adult children of emotionally immature parents" (I think you can find it on YT for free). Specifically, "Detach…
For me, understanding is key for my healing. Having this community and its members (like you) helps with the other parts that are a bit too sharp to handle on my own.❤️ Therapy helps, but this firs…
I'm a female DA with a male AP. I have never loved anyone before so I don't want to mess this one up (again lol), and I've been working on my style for 5 years now. I was truly a hopeless case before…
It's likely to be your abandonment wound having a flare up. Something about them, perhaps their mannerisms or even lack of fighting makes you feel uneasy. This is likely to trigger the wound Lack of …
Hey. There's a lot there. It sounds like you just want more connection with your partner and also to know that they aren't going away. If the digital self harm is making you feel worse, perhaps try no…
I am in the middle of a pretty un-fun cycle that is causing a ton of friction/pain/overwhelm in my current relationship, despite knowing for sure that we both love each other with such a great depth. …
It sounds like you're disowning and shunning your negative feelings. Since they don't seem logical, you're pushing them away. But they're not going to be logical. They're probably the result of repres…
No, that’s normal secure relating. Partner is a consideration and a fixture, but not what I’d say is “top importance”. Maybe it’s just a semantics issue. Those people could likely still feel like life…