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self-esteem
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Citations (101)
The grief of seeing what you could have had is a very real thing. It hurts to your core. I cannot recommend EMDR and having a therapist with extensive trauma experience enough. You are not alone and i…
The pain of being unmet... — I'm never sure whether to consider myself anxiously attached, or mostly secure, because I generally do fine if I feel really loved in my relationship. But where I fall apart easily is when I don't. I …
A Splash of Cold-Water for you — **Background** Hey everyone, I'm a contributor to this subreddit, and spend time lurking from time to time. I'm quite familiar with every attachment style. I, myself, had to earn security from my ow…
My sun and rising are in Sagittarius. Why am I so shy and reluctant to express myself? — Based on my limited understanding, having your sun and rising in Sagittarius signifies being outgoing, expressive, and freedom seeking. I couldn’t be further from that. I know other aspects in my char…
Coming to terms with possible childhood emotional neglect - curious how others turned out — As I’ve gotten older and started reflecting on my life, I’ve slowly worked backwards and realised that I might have experienced childhood emotional neglect (CEN). What’s funny is that it actually sta…
Could venus in square aspect to the rising indicate self-esteem issues? — I've always had self-esteem issues, being very insecure about my appearance. Could the fact that my venus is in a square aspect with my rising be one of the reasons?
How to get rid of cuckold thoughts — Embarrassing post, so throwaway account being used. I have OCD with very prominent intrusive thoughts. Recently, my girlfriend of over 3 years just cheated on me (snuck him into her room and had sex).…
My ex called me a “walking green flag” when we first started dating, and then I ruined it all — I can’t live with myself. I hate how relationships sometimes bring out the worst in people. I went from the best boyfriend (my first relationship too) and now it’s been 3 months since the breakup and …
Finally admitting I have an attitude of entitlement. — Need to get this off my chest: I’m realizing that at 35, I’ve spent a lot of my life operating with a mix of entitlement and a victim mentality. The short version is that growing up, I had a lot of t…
Knowledege of Parasites — Hi, I am currently experiencing some disorganization in money. I've been told from an experience Shaman that I am here to break my family Generational curse specifically around money. I can feel the s…
How to break out of low self-esteem loops? — I’m stuck in negative thought patterns and need some new perspectives to build my self-respect. What’s one small "mental shift" or habit that actually worked for you? Looking for practical advice to …
Self-esteem — Does anyone else feel like their self-esteem is a jenga block tower, and if someone just taps the wrong block, the whole things comes crumbling down? If I get even a simple reprimand at work, I'm cryi…
Which planet and/or aspect should I focus on and work with to remedy my inability to form lasting intimate relationships and friendships? — As you can see I have a T-square between Mars, Venus and Saturn and I have Pluto on the Ascendant opposite Chiron. I'm 56, not married, no kids, I only had one boyfriend in my early twenties for about…
Asian-Americans say they are still seen as foreign, study finds — Survey shows more than half face ‘perpetual foreigner’ bias, with higher stress levels and exclusion across daily life **Like many Asian-Americans**, US-born Tiffany Chin has faced her share of sligh…
Uncomfortable being seen — I think the reason therapy or even having a friend group feels uncomfortable to me isn’t just social anxiety it’s deeper than that. It’s like those situations force me to actually be present in myself…
nmom ruining my pregnancy by bullying my body — went no contact again and she won’t stop blowing up my phone — My whole life my sister and I have been bullied by our mom. When I was anorexic skinny, she’d say I had “no ass” and looked like a stick. Now that I’ve recovered and I’m at a normal, healthy weight (f…
Blindsided — My fiance and I have been together for 8 years. Rarely ever fight or even argue. Lots of plans for the future. Had been through plenty of situations that would have ended most relationships. He always…
Life Happens — Recognize patterns of being controlling and possessive: You’re not allowed to visit family, or friends. Because they restrict you from going. They cling onto you and always accompanying you in everyth…
Struggling to speak up in friend groups — Since my teens, I've been suffering from a major social/interaction problem. **I am almost unable to speak up in a group setting.** I'm referring to groups of 10-15 people or fewer, at a time, someth…
Letting go of someone early due to practical reasons, but it hurts. — TL;DR - Decided to end things due to practical reasons, but it doesn't feel okay. Around three months ago, I (28/m) met this woman (43/f) at a local pub. During this time, I was spending my days in …
How do I stop this urge of saying some really mean stuff to someone who hurt me gravely? — I am usually doing well. Then I see something or get reminded of something, maybe seeing a reel or a post somewhere, & all hell will break loose, because I have to journal out some really nasty stuff …
I’m intensely triggered by my partner’s younger sister and I hate what it brings out in me — I need to say something ugly and I’m hoping someone here will understand rather than just tell me to “work on my self-esteem.” My boyfriend has younger sisters, and one of them especially triggers so…
My ex hooked up with a literal model weeks after the break up. I still love her but I have no hope. — My ex of 1.8 years broke up with me in January, we both made our mistakes. Mid-January, she reached out, we kept seeing each other to make It work since she missed me but she said we couldn't be seen …
Starting therapy soon! — If therapy helped you, when you went, did you go specifically for Avoidant attachment, or something else, but it still ended up helping your attachment? I'm starting therapy in a couple of weeks. I'…
My ex (F23) and I (M26) came back into contact after a year. I'm still in love with her. — Quick backstory. My ex (F23) and I (M26) came back into contact after a year. We broke up after being together for 4.5 years. We met on a dating app, I was 21 and she was 18. Everything clicked instan…
I found out that my abusers lost everything because they k*lled a child and I don't know how to feel — I'm an institutional child abuse survivor and lived in an abusive boarding school for \~1 year (felt more like 5 years) when I was 13 yo. It was a terrible environment in which every aspect of our liv…
My divorce and a warning to everyone that is seeing red flags — In 2024 I found out my wife of almost 13 years had been, at the very least, emotionally cheating on me for at least two years. One day I woke up to her being in a bad mood and treating me just awful, …
How to overcome social isolation? — Long story ahead. If you can relate, let me know. I’m 27 now, and I haven’t had a single friend since elementary school. I moved to a different area at the start of middle school, wasn’t able to quit…
My ex (F23) and I (M26) came back into contact after a year. I'm still in love with her. — Quick backstory. My ex (F23) and I (M26) came back into contact after a year. We broke up after being together for 4.5 years. We met on a dating app, I was 21 and she was 18. Everything clicked instan…
You didn’t lose self-trust all at once… you lost it one small decision at a time — I’ve been thinking about this lately. Self-trust isn’t confidence. It’s not self-esteem. It’s not even “believing in yourself.” It’s something much quieter—and easier to break. It breaks the moment…
Why do I always end up manifesting situations where I fall harder or chase after people? — When I look back at all my relationships and meaningful connections — even friendships — it somehow always turns out that I was the one who fell harder for the other person. In every relationship, I w…
Should I do therapy? — So, I don't have any major trauma or anything (I think), basically I don't have any major problems in my life. My family is well, we are financially stable, my parents are hella chill, I have a friend…
I'm struggling living abroad, but I'm not going home because I don't want to live near my mom — I’m really struggling living abroad at the moment, but I also know I can’t live in the same country as my mom, even thought it means sacrificing my comfort, happiness, financial stability, quality of …
am i a monster — sorry, idk if this is even the right subreddit for this, and i’m super new to reddit to begin with, so i’m honestly just trying to get stuff off my chest. for context, i’m 16F, an only child with REAL…
Is it worth meeting in person for closure or do I just continue no contact? — My girlfriend of nearly 2 years broke up with me earlier this week. It was over many things, all of which were within my control to fix, but I failed. I'm now trying my best to move on, but I feel so …
I, 26F am in a loving, commited relationship of 5 years with partner (25M), have additional strong feelings for another man (27M) — This dilemma requires years of backstory which I will concisely summarize to the best of my abilities. I (26F) am in a long term relationship with my partner (25M).We met while we were in undergrad (d…
M21 how do I bring up ending things with someone I care about, knowing she’s not over her ex? F24 — I (21M) have been seeing a girl (23F) for around 8–9 months. We started as friends and things developed naturally over time. Early on, we agreed to keep things casual and not label it as a relationshi…
14 year old russian yay — hello! I'm 14, live in Russia (i hate it here honestly) Im also gay, which only makes the matters worse. so... My dad is an alcohol addict my whole life, also, my mom told me he started drinki…
My wife is having an online affair with a bot — I (60-F) found out that my wife (41) is having an online relationship with what I think is a bot. This is all through pridedates.com . She has spent >10k talking to this person. The site charges for …
manifested dream job and internship at ivy league without doing anything — hi guys, just wanted to share my recent manifestations and how i achieved them. **TLDR**: i was depressed, working a minimum wage job, not doing anything conducive to my career, and very lost. in 2-3…
Trust issues, how do I deal with them? — My boyfriend (22M) and I (23W) have been together for a little more than half a year now. Before that, we were best friends for years, which means we actually have a pretty solid foundation for our bo…
26F When will I finally meet my partner? — I don't think I've ever felt real love in my entire life. Low self-esteem was the main issues throughout my adolescence and into adulthood, but now, I really feel things will change for the better. P…
I figured it out — I've known about emotional neglect for a while now, but despite knowing this I've been stuck in this deep dark pit for a decade. I've been living at home with my parents ever since I dropped out of co…
I think my mum is a narcissist? — I was fostered by my foster mum at age of 9. She was incredibly controlling and strict all my life and I always accepted it as she's trying to protect/look after me. Now at 24 I've come to realise th…
let's share our depression hacks that no one ever talks about — 1. depressed in bed: i just switched onto the other side of the bed (head is where feet normally are.)I'm still depressed, but it's a hack and I feel \*different\* at the very least. 2. sit up. I'm no…
The weight of Disclosure is on the shoulders of Experiencers. — What I'm about to talk about is often something that is unconsciously understood but rarely laid out and defined openly even within experiencer circles. I find it can often be the case in big voice ch…
Anyone's NParents use your mistakes to pull you down and destroy your self-esteem? — 3 years ago when i was 19, my mother was always mad at me for any small mistake. I answered back at her, but i said some things that are too harsh. She responded by putting me in a psychiatric ward ag…
Trying to help a friend through their resurfaced trauma — Trigger warning for rape. This is a post about a friend, so not sure how appropriate it is to post here. On throwaway account, so not sure if I'll come back to this. I'm new to reddit, so sorry if I …
STBX Speed-running Intimacy (<2 post breakup) | "I love you", "let's move in", etc — ***Help me not even consider going back to someone who has:*** dumped me multiple times, tried to replace me shortly after breakups and currently is trying to "build a life" with someone they've known…
Why am I so extremely insecure, critical and judgemental toward myself? — I've struggled with low self-esteem from a very young age and as time has progressed I've found ways to cope but I feel like this aspect of myself is always present. It makes me super critical of myse…
No self-esteem or worth to get better — I'm still on this journey, but question if I've made and real progress. I'm not doing my best work in my 4 year relationship, and I continue to fail. I struggle to take accountability and communicat…
Hi! So one thing I can tell you from lots of therapy and recently spending time around her is I realized I had been only remembering her good qualities and putting her on a pedestal in my mind. When w…
"Most of the time I feel like I'm going to die alone, like I'm not enough and oher bullshit." I suggest you take conventional action and see a therapist to sort out your self-esteem issues in the fi…
I was very much like you, and I had lots of commitment issues. I didn’t want to be anyone’s “girlfriend”, because I felt I would lose freedom, so I would willingly choose unavailable people because I …
It's very, very painful. I'm so sorry. I went through something similar 2 yrs ago. Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, felt incredible low self-esteem and rejected. I never pegged him to ghost me, and we ha…
This definitely feels familiar from times in my past as well. The problem is, when we are so inward looking, and introspective about things, while that carries some really strong benefits, it can also…
I'm securely attached and I'm still dealing with the emotional turmoil from letting a FA in. It's one of the hardest things I have gone through in my life because the person actually understood many o…
Hi! I haven't gone specifically through it but I know the feeling. Have you mentioned that you want to feel heard rather than him giving you solutions? If you are in a healthy relationship he should a…
I had a pretty similar experience and landed in a similar spot that you did, even down to the same number of dates and spiraling when I would run into her afterwards (we work in the same building so i…
You can only control your own behaviour, you cannot control the outcome of a situation where another person has free will. It's a hard pill to swallow because anxious attachers feel uncomfortable with…
Bruh. Stop throwing around "I'm gonna kill myself" just because you aren't hearing what you wanna hear. I understand the desire to be in a relationship but for the love of god, if you have literally n…
History: I had very bad anxious attachment and my avoidant ex 3 years ago broke my heart really badly. Since then I did a lot of work on myself, self-esteem etc and got to a point in life where I was …
I work in the tourism industry. Over the last year, I became extremely close to a coworker. We went through a lot together — long tours, stressful days, emotional breakdowns, late-night calls, comfort…
The anxious behavior strategies are fairly more obvious. >C1 (Threateningly Angry): They use anger to coerce attached figures into proving care and comfort. >C2 (Disarmingly Desirous of Comfort): Co…
You wanted to see him; he didn't make plans. You didn't like that. It's generally a given that if you're in any kind of relationship with someone, they want to make time for you because they equally s…
Yes to all of this! I’ll add one nuance. I think this is a bit extreme or all-or-nothing, though I understand your Eureka moment and your need to emphasize it: The true eureka moment, for me, was t…
I've been there. I could have written this three years ago - the second guessing that you feel someone is inconsistent and not safe, but you fixate on the times that feel good. With closer inspection …
Text of original post by u/Kyuuki_Kitsune: I'm never sure whether to consider myself anxiously attached, or mostly secure, because I generally do fine if I feel really loved in my relationship. But wh…
I've heard (and taught) all this stuff so many times. I just...have a lot of snags around it all. Let me go through each of your points. I have other hobbies and interests, but it's hard for me to ac…
Very happy to share :) A few years ago I worked with a life coach to work on self-esteem and managing/setting boundaries. I still touch base with her when I need 1:1 support. After the avoidant discar…
I am beyond tired of the proudly anxious. It's one thing if they're aware of the issues that it poses and are actively working on it. That's fine. But the one's that think it's a cute little quirk wh…
**My (28F) girlfriend (25F) and I have been dating for 6 months. I have an anxious attachment style, and she has an avoidant one.** I knew from the beginning that she was avoidant, but only about 2 m…
Yes, I really sympathize with that struggle and think it's great that you're recognizing it as a problem that will keep you trauma bonded, and that you're figuring out ways to heal this. My last break…
> Ahh….what is this?? My guess is low self-esteem manifesting as an inability to see markers of abuse.
Are you sure that is not being a sapiosexual? I mean I have been totally unnattracted to women, and after meeting them and learning aspects of their personality became very attracted to them. That sou…
Thank you so much! And Hmmm I see your point and do agree that is natural, but I think specifically I am attracted / aroused by intelligence. Thus I cant put off a girl I am not initially attracted to…
30f. I’ve never been in a relationship, and I started going on dates last year. Didn’t date before because I had some low self-esteem and felt so awkward. No dates turned into a relationship. Went on …
I love how dating him has motivated me to do more TLC for myself. Obviously, I'd want to be presentable to him, but mostly it is for me. I love feeling good being in my skin, exfoliating and moisturi…
I've been single for many years and I am genuinely so happy with my life. But man, the minute I start dating someone new, my self-esteem plummets to oblivion and I'm crying over men I have no busines…
It sounds like you're looking more for validation, but I will share from my experience. When I met my ex wife, I was not initially attracted to her. Everyone told me that physical attraction is surfac…
I'm so beyond exhausted of the cycle of constant rejection, taking a break up pick myself back up, only to go back into another string of constant rejection. The women I'm friends with keep telling …
I had a situation where we kinda both ghosted each other after months of conversing/flirting (met a few times). We were having a conversation one day, i responded to a question she asked and got caugh…
Omg don't hate me but I actually texted him one last time, only for him to turn me down literally days later. Somebody needs to do something about my self-esteem.
Yeah it’s a difficult placement to understand. Pisces on one hand is dreamy, boundless, intuitive and emotional. Saturn is persistent, enforces boundaries, reliable but can also be pessimistic and bur…
>Yeah it’s a difficult placement to understand. Pisces on one hand is dreamy, boundless, intuitive and emotional. Saturn is persistent, enforces boundaries, reliable but can also be pessimistic and bu…
When my self-esteem was at an all-time high and was dating left and right but the dates turned out to be duds, I found myself pitying those men for not staying long enough to see how wonderful of a hu…
Please, someone help me restore faith in myself... I am desperate. My self-esteem is below zero
I wouldn't call it "pining". Just... wondering about what-ifs. And yeah, I was finding it fishy, but also thought a writing forum may not be the best place to catfish people like this. And sorry to h…
And this is how it begins. He already started chipping away at your self-esteem and your confidence making you feel like you were childish and immature because you wanted to throw a themed party for y…
It doesn't matter if it's done maliciously, eventually it will destroy your self-esteem and enthusiasm.
Why did they cheat, it is the not knowing/understanding why that matters most. https://www.newsweek.com/why-people-cheat-relationships-infidelity-reasons-1688541 Here's Why People Cheat on Those The…
I have a few different things to say in response: First, I should answer your direct question: # What is Kindness I'd say that's just a semantic thing. The real question is what you think is the ri…
For me, shame, or even the possibility of shame, has quietly shaped so much of my life. It’s the thing that makes the difference between trying and not attempting something at all, because the fear of…
Some people (not saying OP, I don't know her) grew up very attractive. Some people make their looks (and the attention/opportunities that being attractive conveys) a HUGE part of their identity. Typ…
Honestly, you should leave. you said that your boyfriend is not smart, coulding finish uni, has low self-esteem except when Chat started telling him he was good...and im pretty sure ya man is in AI …
Okay, so here are my thoughts on the matter... What I'm sensing here is fear and anxiety, plain and simple. My wife and I (43M and 42F) got married almost three years ago, and both of us have a lot …
I just wanna say that there is more to that fantasy than low self-esteem. It’s natural become sexually aroused when you become aware of sexual energy. It’s also normal for the brain to compartmentalis…
Sorry but this is the dumbest thing I’ve ever read. Get up off the floor impersonating her doormat, get some self respect and end this charade. She doesn’t love you in the way you love her, she has ze…
Yes it’s insane. Met up 4-5 times and he hasn’t cried more in the past 2.5 months than he has in the past 6 years? OP, learn to love yourself and have more self-esteem.
Of course you are welcome!! If it helps rekindle other peoples relationship then glad to be here for you. Back to this: Hmmm interesting so you both have talked about it multiple times but he does…
Almost a year—and no, I don’t plan on dating anytime soon. I quit my job, sold all my belongings and my car, and bought a one-way ticket across the world. I live out of a converted van in a remote coa…