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Seeking a reality check and validation on a “Trauma bond” and how I was treated — This is my first Reddit post so bare with me. Also pre-warning, some notes of DV And Emotional Abuse. I’m posting this because I need an unbiased reality check. I asked an AI to help me organize myse…
Share your most insane ‘money just appeared’ story — Here's mine: A while back life really hit me hard. I just got out of the hospital with a $4,000 bill which is huge where I live since most healthcare is government covered. My job fired me while I was…
27F discouraged by low income 27M — Hear me out I know that sounds harsh. We are married with 2 kids and have been together since we were 18. We both work full time plus I have a successful side hustle. I just crunched the numbers and f…
Goodbye... — I feel so awful for hurting you. I never meant for this to happen. I never meant for you to burn out from me. Not a single day goes by that I’m not thinking about you. I wish I wasn’t a burden. I wish…
Found out my husband resents me a lot for my mental illness — Let me start off by admitting I did something wrong. I looked at his Reddit history after seeing his username on his computer. Yes, that was wrong of me. Basically, I found his post on depression\_pa…
Energy Exchange: How We Give, Take, and Protect Our Vital Force — Energy exchange is, essentially, communication. The energy a person generates is given outward. But, in accordance with the laws of conservation of energy, a person must receive energy from outside. …
My husband (39M) is annoyed that I (31F) always get sick after him. How can we find a solution? — Hello Reddit! Need some advice as I don't know what to do about this. It seems that my immune system isn't quite as good as my husband's. We have a 1.5 yrs old and we go to playgroups regularly, whic…
What’s the point of living if everything is a mistake? — I’m 21f and it wasn’t until last year that the idea that ‘it’s okay to make mistakes’ even entered my consciousness. I was just always a well behaving kid. Now, it feels like everyone does anything th…
My boyfriend of 6 years doesn’t love me anymore — Since October 2025 he has become distant and cold. I pretended everything was fine, but it got harder every day because he became meaner and meaner. Sometimes we fought because it was too much for me.…
emotionally unavailable mom, but i am very dependent on her. — i guess i just don’t know how to move forward. i struggle with anorexia nervosa and am living at home as i try to recover. problem is, i only have a few safe foods. they are pretty expensive and my mo…
How to/ should I make peace with having a mother who appears to care but doesn’t want to spend time with me — In some ways I wonder whether my situation actually constitutes an emotionally neglectful one, or at the very least on the milder end of the spectrum. I’m a grown woman who lives with my parents due …
Constantly discouraging parent — My mom is always discouraging me. When i wrote my ACCA exams she always said that dont get to ahead of yourself its not like you run the world or you have completed yet. When i did complete she was ha…
lost my friend and my money and my crush likes to play games with me — Idek where to start because everything feels like it’s collapsing at once i got scammed and i feel stupid and worthless. i was just trying to sell my laptop on Dubizzle, and for once someone didn’t t…
Constant back and forth ruining relationships — Ok some background: I’m a 36 f. Living with bipolar and ADHD. Being treated for ADHD but on some meds for my diabetes and bipolar. My psychiatrist wants me to start on Vivance here soon. I also WFH f…
I’ve put down my thoughts as to the reasons why I (m53) want to ask my wife (f52) for a divorce. — We’ve been married for 23 years. We’ve got 3 kids: 22, 19 and 12. We own our home, halfway through a 30 yr mortgage, with a low apr. Wife was majority earner, but recently lost her job. I’m inte…
Parents completely oblivious to how dysfunctional and harmful our relationship is — Sorry in advance for the long post. My latest family drama started at the beginning of this week when I noticed my mother's chronic cough had gotten worse and sounded different and my mother casually …
The letter I will never send. — # I'm not looking for sympathy, I just need to get this out there. I’ve spent countless hours sitting, pacing the house, going for late night walks and drives, pondering my thoughts, feeling stuck, …
Beginning the process of escaping my controlling parents. I’ve never felt more isolated in my life. — I’ve posted here months ago up until now: no updates because there weren’t any to note. I guess this is more of a vent than anything, but it would be nice to hear if anyone has felt similarly while le…
[29F] My boyfriend [29M] expects me to move across the world for him, but treats our relationship like a "performance review" and says telling my parents about us is a burden. — I \[29F\] have been with my boyfriend \[29M\] for a little over a year in total, but our history is a bit complicated. We met in September 2024, but broke up in April 2025 because he felt "uncertain" …
How can I save myself? — I’ve been in a deep, worsening depression for years. It’s accelerating—I’m deteriorating fast. I feel profoundly sad, lonely, and invisible. No one notices me, not even my parents most of the time. I’…
First night without thinking about them, major wave of grief after — It's been about 1.5 months since we last spoke to each other. I'm in such a weird space feeling like I know I am for sure better without this person in my life, but my heart hurts remembering how much…
How do I get over him? — Ive blocked him and removed him on everything. Im angry at him for his self-sabotaging behavior and his lack of emotional maturity. I should have stayed broken up with him the first time but I let it …
I (30M) struggle with how my spouse (31F) parents — A disclaimer here: we communicate about this, we go to therapy. My spouse and I have been married for 7 years - we were best friends before we got married and are still best friends today. The reason …
"If you’re going to criticize my parenting, you could at least wash a dish while you do it." — I appreciate the 45-minute lecture on why the baby isn't wearing three sweaters in 30°C heat but the sink is full of utensils and the baby just blew out their diaper. If you have time to judge than y…
My narcissistic hoarder mother continues to collect things and animals, and is now refusing to bury her dead cat. Things are getting out of hand, and I need advice on how to move forward </3 — **I am desperate for help and advice of people in similar situations.** *\* This story contains sensetive topics relating to animal abuse and neglect, as well as mental health topics, if you are sens…
I (25F) ended a 4-year relationship because of religious/cultural barriers. I’m heartbroken and feel like I’ve lost my entire world. — I’m struggling to breathe today and just need to put this somewhere. I (25F) recently ended a four-year relationship. I was the one who broke it off, but it feels like my heart is the one that got sh…
How to create new narratives when you’ve been trained to believe harmful ones — I’ve been in therapy for a while now dealing with coming to terms with the abuse I faced growing up and the aftermath of realizing my entire life was built on sand. One of the things I’m going through…
I spent my childhood trying to keep my mother alive - was this normal? (30F) — I’m a 30F, living away from my hometown and parents for the past 6 years. I don’t really know where to begin, because I only recently started realizing that what I went through growing up might not ha…
“Respect your parents” hits different when you were scared of them your whole childhood. — I’m 30 years old. For most of my life, I thought my childhood was normal. I thought the heavy feeling inside me was just how life is. Now I’m starting to understand it wasn’t normal. And it wasn’t m…
Dramatic or narcissistic mother? — Honestly, I'm 24, almost 25 soon, I'm in a relationship (with marriage in mind), I work in a job I love because I studied hard for it, and I live with my mom and one brother who's 20. I have another s…
Lonely Despite My Best Efforts-- Vent+Advice Please — This is going to be pretty long because I feel like context is needed. I'm 18F, finishing my first year of college. **Some relevant info:** I have diagnosed ADHD, OCD, and PMDD as well as largely re…
I broke up with him even though I'm still deeply in love with him. Did I make a mistake? — We were together for 2.5 years. I love him more than anyone I've ever been with. But he couldn't give me the bare minimum—consistent communication, emotional availability, or any plan for a future tog…
So they treat you like you're disrupting their peace when you're a kid, but when you're an adult they are needy for your company. What's up with that? — When you're a kid, you're treated like a burden. Then you grow up and visit and they don't want you to leave. For example, I recently drove my dad to the city to go to a car show and do some sightseei…
Hey, [OpsLevel](https://www.opslevel.com) CTO here. We have a ton of respect for what the Backstage community has accomplished. It's impressive how they've expanded the IDP space and created a vibra…
If you still can, DON'T use branch per environment approach. Instead allow devs to merge feature branches at their convenience to main branch, then build properly versioned artifacts. And then trigg…
I lost my best friend due my anxious attachment style. How do I cope? We were really close, could be compared more to a relationship but we were (long-distance) best friends (for about 1,5 years). I’…
As someone who is currently quitting smoking and has had partners worry/stress about it in the past, the biggest place that I see this go wrong is that partners focus on the *act* of smoking and mista…
this landed hard because i've been there too — not exactly your story, but that feeling of being a burden before you even open your mouth. what hit me reading your post: "my needs were often put on t…
If she were perfect for you she'd see your relationship as a resource to draw from during tough times, not an extra burden.
At one point do you start to question your friendships and if they really matter? Like if they’re really your friend? I’ve known my roommates since high school, and at one point I start to ask mysel…
I guess with how everything is with me I don’t actually know how to try, like with social anxiety being one of my flavours it makes simple communication difficult along with autism making me feel like…
American here so my POV may be different. But unless you're upper middle class or above, home ownership isn't really a plus anymore. At least here, there's no real equity in it and it's a burden. I ha…
My ex-husband texts me daily about politics, and I don’t mind mostly because he & I are similarly aligned that way. He doesn’t have any friends, not for lack of trying; our mutual friends reach out to…
The hard truth here is that she was perfectly clear; you just aren't ready to hear it. When a partner tells you they feel "trapped" and "can't handle taking care of themselves and being there for you,…
Hold up a second. You're thinking of this in the wrong way because of the guilt and shame you feel. But look at the matter factually. For your entire relationship, you were the emotional pillar. You w…
girl just break up with him. It’s clearly draining you. His depression is not your weight to burden. Obviously it is awful he is suffering but again that is not on you to fix. you sound extremely anxi…
OMG you too??? I talked to oak about this when it first happened and it seems I'm here to hear people's stories. It's a beautiful thing to be seen. My compulsion to discuss these experiences transce…
Co-regulation is a normal part of healthy relationships. It usually starts in childhood where adults help children to regulate their emotions and model a calm regulated approach that then helps them t…
\> I don't know if I want to move forward with him at this point since he clearly sees me as such a burden. it must be hard to be in his position also, and he most likely made that post out of frustr…
It is the first time for both of these but yes, I struggle to ask for what I need and I’m trying to get better at that and not feeling like a burden.
Hi All, Scorpio Rising, Libra Sun, Taurus Moon. I know this post has been up for a while but still wanted to share. \- Saturn in Sagittarius in the 2nd house along with Uranus \- Saturn rules my 3rd…
Only about 10% of divorce cases in the USA result in alimony (and 3% of those are to male recipients). https://www.reuters.com/article/markets/wealth/how-bread-winning-women-are-driving-alimony-refo…
He knew you were sick. Period. He should’ve been there for you, not expecting things from you. If he wasn’t gonna help out, he should never have come over. I have platonic male friends even offer to d…
Oh this hurts to the core. I experienced the same childhood. I was never allowed to go out with friends, never allowed to go out on my own, spent endless hours alone in my room. Picked up reading an…
What? How did your psychologist react? Oh yeah, being sick is a burden. I could only stay home if I had a skyrocketing fever. I remember sitting in the classroom barely being able to hold me eyes op…
Ok, this emphasis on biology, trying to take his own biases and root them on science that is made up and not actually supported by genuine science, is a really bad sign. And if he is buying into that…
Me too. Although I dared to step out of my comfort zone and ask for help, I got the impression that I didn't receive any; that is, I know how to inform myself sufficiently, and sharing my situation wi…
I am very familiar with these mechanisms and the struggles of keeping my problems for myself. What helps me to work on this is acknowledging on the one hand that i have problems that i cannot and don’…
A burden. Worthless. Have nothing to offer people except being an emotional dumping ground or my body, or if I bend over backwards and kiss their feet. Worthless. Useless. A burden. I hurt everyone ar…
Most of these placements are positive. It doesn't necessarily indicate some misfiring from these, but rather that they might be more easily expressed more behind the scenes or somewhat hidden within …
I thought this too at first, but then I understood better The issue is not in the "not wanting to become a burden." That's a good thing. The issue is in not being trained by our parents about when i…
I'm not sure if there is a plan, she has friends that I'm sure would help out but she thinks she's a burden. I don't know that she would reach out on her own. That's why I want to reach out to her fri…
I’m sorry, I didn’t even read the post. It’s too long. Nonetheless, I think many of us in this sub have felt the way you do. Don’t let hatred eat you alive. It’s going to prevent you from healing and…
Some tough love incoming. He sees you as a vulnerable child and proceeded with the relationship because he got horny and every professional and moral obstacle went out of the window. He took advantag…
You say that, but once you're fully emotionally invested, being a caregiver is the most natural, self-evident thing to do. I was a full-time caregiver for 3 years to my younger wife & not once did it …
I feel like that too, because I was told by many people that I am a burden. No, no one should feel like that. Years od counceling helped me realise that. The truth is, the more you feel like that, the…
I hate to say it, but I think she’s just the type of person that says that they don’t wanna be a burden because they want to hear “you’ll never be a burden. I love taking care of you.” not because she…
I'm sorry you feel that way, guilt is a heavy feeling to carry, and when it's always there, it's a constant burden. And especially when it's a parent. I hope you continue moving on, and snail's speed …
Thank you for sharing this. It's quite rare to read genuinely insightful reports of peeking out there instead of the usual "love and light" BS. I've seen/sensed this fractal/recursive structure too (…
Yeah it is. People can be so accustomed to being maltreated that they can live their entire lives without the light dawning. Victims also are left with the responsibility of dealing with the damage do…
just know that needing rides, safe foods, and emotional support while recovering from anorexia nervosa and struggling with benzos doesn’t make you a burden.. it means you’re in treatment. and it’s oka…
Buy a big house and get her and your aunt to move in with you. That way they can look after each other. See if you can get some money from them to help pay the mortgage. It doesn't have to a burden i…
You’re overriding your own self-preservation instincts, the ones telling you this isn’t a safe relationship, and choosing instead to act against your own well-being for her benefit. That path usually …
I don't think it's absurd to say that none of us are perfect. Perfect isn't really attainable, the best we can be is good, or great and I believe you when you say you were a great wife, and I think I …
One thing I need to bring up with my therapist is the shaming stuff. My mother shamed me my whole life for an incident I couldn’t recall. When my brother was 18mo which makes me 3.5 yo roughly, we wer…
Yes. Today is one of those days where I really just want to be dead. I don’t want to leave my daughters and husband but living every day is just so so painful. I was SA’d as a child and raped at 19 …
As a single mother myself, you can do it. Let him cut contact and do this yourself. He has made it clear he isnt cut out and doesnt want this child so theres no reason to keep him around to be a burde…
As someone who never wanted kids I'd probably wouldn't want to pursue dating someone who is expecting me to become a stepfather. That's quite a lot of responsibility and I'm not sure if I'd be up for …
Well, it’s highly likely you are wrong, despite how you feel. With 2 kids, 16 and 7 my guess is you’ve contributed meaningfully to their upbringing which is definitionally “more” than just a burden.…
The same thing happened to my wife, she got drunk and had sex with a guy she knew. It doesn't matter if she remembers or not, you do, she will live in absolute ignorance, never having to remember he…
I'm not saying I want money because I like money. It's because you cannot survive without money. Right now I am a financial burden on my partner, I don't earn any income. He's willing to do that for m…
So happiness to you means to no longer be a burden? Have you spoken to your partner about these thoughts? My assumption is that your partner wouldn't call you a burden.
Thank you for telling me that, strangers over the vast sea of this internet that seem to provide much needed understanding. Putting on a strong face when you’re carrying something this heavy, that’s …