relieved

2 years later — I havent been on the subreddit for such a long time. In a weird way so much has changed and so little. 2 years ago my ex broke up with me, her reasoning being: she didnt want to drag me down in her d…

I finally realized my fear of closeness is really a fear of being known — I've been working to understand myself better as a DA, in part with the help of Reddit. I now feel the last puzzle pieces fell into place and I finally have a coherent story of why I am the way I am. …

I'm not sure about my attachment style but I want to discover it right now 'cause I want to start healing!!!!!! — Sorry for the long text, I want to be thorough. So, I just ended my first ever relationship. I'm 20, I'm a lesbian from a conservative background and had a lot of internalized homophobia and religiou…

You've Tried Manifesting Them Back Multiple Times - Here's Why It's Not Working — **"I've manifested my SP back multiple times but it never works. Now it just feels draining."** **You're not failing at manifestation.** **You're failing at creating coherent field states.** And th…

Went to my first party sober last night — Quit flower months ago but recently decided to give alcohol a break as well because I get so anxious the next day and feel like garbage. I also make terrible decisions while drunk. Drank a few NA beer…

In love with my (26F) best friend (27M) and it’s killing me — Me and my best friend have only been besties for about 3-4 years, but we grew close extremely quickly. I initially didn’t find him attractive at all, and we were also not single at the time, but aft…

How do I F21 fix my relationship with my F21 twin sister after her M22 fiancée SA’d me? — I don’t really know how to do this I apologize in advance. A bit of back ground. I am a F21. My twin sister obviously the same age. We both live with our parents. She has been seeing this guy M22 for …

Writing about my experience with Iboga medicine 🌱 — Earlier I made a post and someone commented that they didn't want to watch a video. Understood! Here is an account of what I saw during my time with ceremony number one with iboga. It was not what I i…

BF of 3.5 years broke it off. I'm so happy and free. — Sooo these last couple of days were a lot. I (29M) have been with my boyfriend (27M) for 3.5 years. If you asked me a week ago, I'd say our relationship had its ups and downs, but we were generally ha…

Validated today that ending a friendship was a good thing — I am a formerly anxious leaning mostly secure person. I ended a 4-year friendship about 8 months ago with someone who is anxiously attached and also still my colleague, and I’ve been processing someth…

Narcissistic collapse is terrifying — TW for suicide. I fully believed he would realise he needed to change when he was forced to hold a mirror up to himself. That the man I love would see that the way he was treating me was wrong and he …

Need tips on managing my DA husband — Need tips on managing my DA husband 36F , married since 2yrs now. Before marriage, we had an Anxious Avoidant attachment where I was the Anxious one. After marriage I kept getting hurt non-stop and …

My full story 2 weeks since DDay 4 days NC — (Cheater fiancée 26f) (me 26m) (AP 46m) So it all started about 4 to 6 months ago I noticed that her drinking had become a concern she was showing up drunk after work very frequently and it was both…

Ex of 3 weeks collected stuff and… — It went really well! We hadn’t spoken for over 2 weeks. The only time after the break up we had spoken is regarding logistics. He stayed for over an hour. We spoke about the relationship, the hurt th…

breakthrough trip & the bigger picture — Hello, it's me again. I know that there are people here who enjoy reading my experiences so thus my posting. Obviously a disclaimer is this experience is under the influence of a psychadelic, but it t…

I know checking their profile will hurt me… and I still do it anyway — I don’t even want to do it anymore… but I still do. It’s like my brain just takes over for a second. I’ll be fine, doing something else, and then suddenly I’m typing their name without even thinking…

I ignored my self-critic for a full week and boy was it exhausting — A week ago I decided that since behavioural activation therapy, CBT, other therapies, and trying to find ways to be productive or find meaning with others or by myself, and even low pressure advice we…

My ex (30F) and I (30nb) broke up 6 months ago and I want to vent about it — After dating for almost 2 years and living together for 6 months my ex broke it off and I had to move out. I am a trans nonbinary person (AFAB) and the day we met my ex knew I would be pursuing gender…

I didn’t know what to say when my friend broke down — I have a very close friend, basically family, going through a divorce right now. Most of the time he sounds fine. He vents about his ex and says he’s relieved it’s almost over. You would think he is …

is it normal to feel relieved AND devastated after a breakup at the same time? — ended a 2 year thing last week. i know it was the right call but my brain keeps replaying random good memories and honestly that's somehow worse than the bad ones my friends have been great but i can…

"Had a lucid nightmare where my subconscious tried to keep me trapped. It even left a note." — # Two days ago, I had a lucid dream... well, I can't really call it a dream, it was a nightmare.It started in my school. My teacher announced a colleague had died. I didn't recognize the name, but eve…

Am I dealing with a fearful avoidant — I’ve been dealing with a coworker for months. She has a heavy history: 4 high-stress jobs, and a very deep shame she carries which a lot of people judge her for ( but I didn’t),and 4 cheating exes. I …

I did it again. — I resigned from my job on the 16th of last month. A job I absolutely loved. I used to stay to stay up at night and dream about it and visualize it, overnights, no supervision, and good pay. Two weeks…

Wallet Found! — Hi guys! I just wanna share a quick success story that happened like an hour ago and give you some motivation to persist! So today I went to a really popular (crowded) BBQ with my friends then went t…

Thank you all! — ​ Thank you all to your reply on my post! So this means it's actually possible and probable that universes like High School DxD really exist. I feel relieved to finally have this answer, and i…

I had to break things off with my gf and I feel like shit (I am the dumper but feel like the dumpee) — God, I feel so broken and terrible about this. I am shaking so much, even while writing this. This all started in December 2025. She told me she needed 2000 dollars for Christmas and some birthday pr…

I butt dialled her after 1.5 months of no contact —  was about to go out tonight when I heard the FaceTime sound coming from my phone. I'm not even sure how but I was calling her number. She discarded me in February after basically telling me she didn'…

Saw my narc mom for the first time in 2 years. The night ended in tears. I feel like I messed up? — I'm 28, married and have a 4 year old. I cut my narc mom off 2 years ago because she is verbally, emotionally, and financially abusive. She was/is an addict, a habitual liar, and someone who has made …

I got a job — A few months ago I was in a job which i absolutely hated I felt exhausted all the time I came home and slept or laid there like and did NOTHING I was too mentally and physical drained , I cried all th…

Am I deactivating? — I'm still new to attachment theory and romantic relationships in general, so I'd like to hear other people's thoughts. I (20F) was dating one of my college friends (22F) "Clara" up until last month, …

Seeking advice about my wife's actions — Seeking advice I’m posting here because I need honest input from people who understand limerence/crush dynamics, especially if you’ve experienced it while in a committed relationship or from the part…

Everything crashed down after 3 months and I am so unwell I didn't get home for Easter — I have been crying for two days, I have the anxiety, the pit at the stomach, the existential dread, everything I didn't experience before. Every time I tried to take the bus home for Easter I had an a…

I finally did it….i opened the can of worms — I (f21) have been with my boyfriend for over a year. I have never told my family about it especially because I was never allowed to date until after college. I also come from a Filipino family so that…

I Found Out I Was the “Secret Girlfriend” Through a Private Story — So I (16F) started dating this girl, “Ava” (17F), about three months ago, and at first it felt like something straight out of a movie. We met through a mutual friend, started texting, and within like …

Done talking to him…what do you all think of this man? — Going to try to keep this short & sweet. I met a guy, he sold me my car and gave me his number. I texted him that I'd love to go out with him. He set a date to a steak house and I was pretty into him …

How to best support my parents who are divorcing? — Hey all! My (33F) parents (64M and 64F) are finally divorcing after 30 years of unhappiness. Everyone who really knows them basically congratulated them lol. My husband and I are obviously very suppo…

How do you know if someone is for you? — I (18F) have been in a relationship for almost a year with my first even bf (18M). He is pretty much my first everything but I don't know if he is my forever person. But I also have no idea how I'm su…

I F26 Regret Dumping My Ideal Man M23 — A few months ago I, F26, ended things with the man I’d been seeing M23. We were together less than 3 months, but I genuinely REALLY liked him and I‘m pretty confident the feeling was mutual. He was in…

Husband (38M) says I (35F) am a psycho. — For context, I’ve been with my husband for 3 years, and I’m 5 months pregnant. I mention pregnancy bc I know hormones and gaining 20lb has made me a little more emotional/sensitive to things, and also…

I got into my dream university — Hii guys i just wanted to share my success story because im just shaking and can’t believe it right now🥹 I wasn’t exactly a “perfect A” student so my competition was tough because it was a top unive…

My girlfriend broke up with me on the first day of our vacation, now I don’t know what to do — My girlfriend (ex I guess now) and I just arrived at our resort today, and things fell apart before we even really started the trip. We had a conflict at the airport, and it escalated to the point …

Dampened Internalisation — Hi there, This is a question targeted to therapists. I’ve been in therapy for about 6 months now, to deal with a breakup and lot of other childhood issues, generally themed around not feeling safe. …

It’s been 8-9 months of no contact. I’m struggling so badly today and I need some support. — I (m20) was in a really horrible relationship for almost a year with a woman (f20). It’s a story I’ve repeatedly told on these anonymous chat board because I struggle with it everyday. I never really…

Resources for complex trauma as the result of parent with bipolar 2? — Hi everyone/anyone - I've been reading a lot of people's experiences on this sub, I was hoping to share my own, maybe there's someone out there who can relate and help, even in the smallest way. I'm …

My sibling was killed last week — my brother was killed by a car last week and my parents are being unbearable. I was extremely LC with both of them before he was killed. he was LC with them as well and on even worse terms with them…

i feel like im breaking and idk where to say this all — maybe there is a better more specific to what im saying kind of subreddit to put this on but i dont really know much abt reddits or what exactly im allowed to say where so: **tw: abuse, neglect, vio…

It’s so hard finding my people — I want nothing more than to find my friends, my “tribe”, and my own little community. I was in a friend group but deep down I knew they weren’t my people, I found them kind of corny tbh (no hate, I’m …

It’s so hard finding my people — I want nothing more than to find my friends, my “tribe”, and my own little community. I was in a friend group but deep down I knew they weren’t my people, I found them kind of corny tbh (no hate, I’m …

situationship that lasted almost two years chose someone else over me, yet i still decided to date him — Hey guys, i would like to get some advice from you on how to work on attachment issues so i could avoid **this kind of thing** happen to me again. I am very mentally exhausted honestly. I (26F) …

Can’t stop blaming myself — Im starting emdr tomorrow from the recommendation of my doctor but I feel like nothing I’ve ever dealt with was even ”traumatic”. I feel so stupid even using that word because my parents never hit me …

Help? My friend(18F) is mad because I(18F)'ve been friends with her girlfriend(18F) for longer than they've known eachother. — I have been best friends with this girl since second grade. We'll call her Oomf for now, since it's usually what I call my friends, both on and offline. Me and Oomf have always been very close. We ac…

same. when ive been the leaver i just found my exes annoying and was relieved when they didn't contact me... and then I never thought about them at all.

I hope it's true for my ex as well, but it's probably not. I doubt they're being "eaten up" by our silence. They're probably just relieved.

This is the way. My ex broke up with me last week on the phone before my dentist appointment. I had to cut the call short because I needed to make my appointment. I lied about watching a sad show on m…

Not OP, but I really appreciate you sharing this perspective here. I (FA) have been in relationships in the past with DAs and FAs, and have always felt like there was something wrong with me for not f…

How would you feel if all of this is handled for you? Relieved? Trust in the power of something higher? Ask yourself these questions . Just let it linger, don’t answer right away. If you’re try…

In a DA, they can often maintain the feeling of detachment - feeling relieved that it's over. FA's will almost immediately enter a panic state.

I could agree with you if not for my AA ex🤔 He wasn't perfect at all (for example i struggled a lot with him quitting his job and sabotaging finding the new one), but I still stayed because he was gi…

So, I relate to you a lot. I used to feel that void and emptiness and that deep longing or loneliness despite having friends and job and ‘hobbies’. I used to hear alot about invest in your hobbies, f…

This has been so helpful. I’m so happy and relieved to find this thread. While I hate that we’re all in the same boat, it really helps that I’m not alone and there’s a great support system here. I jus…

Would you have actually gone to the hospital if he had suggested? If he had sprung up and said “let’s go to the hospital right now” would you have been relieved he made that decision? Since you had me…

I feel I recently made healing progress in this department. I used to feel just like you do, everything you described. I’ve been in therapy for 2 years learning how to regulate / release feelings. The…

I used to be only DA in relationships, but after having a very bad experience with a relatively new friend who screwed me over, I've been DA in regard to meeting new friends as well. Normally, I'm ver…

Hello. I have a question. Are anxious attached people self-centerd? I heard from my Ex-BF that I am self-centerd and think the world revolves around me. Sometimes I act upon my anxiety, only to be pro…

I know this is very Reddit of me, but my response would be to consider ending the relationship. I wouldn’t have said this a month ago, but I had a friendship end recently, which made me realize that i…

What does it serve you to hold onto this hurt? You are repeating the same narratives about the break up with you as the victim. You have not healed if you cannot reframe this break up without you as t…

32nb Update! I am so relieved; the conversation I needed to have w 39m went so well!! He also shared something he’d been anxious about compatibility-wise, and we both talked about where we are and go…

I’ve posted on this sticky thread a few times about my relationship and my concern about my gf’s locked chats. I mentioned I saw she had them in a non-accusatory way, and she immediately showed me the…

Oh no, I'm sorry it must be very hard raising a baby alone. Do you have support network of family and friends? I hope you're ok. Does your ex keep in touch?  Thank you for your compassion, I'm doing…

Last night was a great reminder that overthinking isn’t reality. I’ve been out of town a lot for work and haven’t seen the guy I’ve been seeing much. A few weeks ago, he had a “your most compatible ha…

Pre-events are when we (DA) tend to do discards. The pressure gets too much. I know we suck. My DA ex bf dumped me on my birthday. I felt relieved.

Thank you so much for sharing this. I definitely still need to join more things but I’m so relieved that it’s not a cure all haha. You’re right, people really have no perspective

Thank you lovely. I’ve woken up this morning feeling relieved and not anxious. I’m sure sadness will come at some point but it feels great right now.

Yesterday I [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverthirty/comments/1ri0wrv/comment/o879jlq/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) about this guy…

nah i'm saying that in this age group, it seems silly that any of this is even a problem in general. and i now realize it wasn't clear who that was directed to. not you! I was relieved to see your com…

I really think this is up to the individual and their feelings about dating someone who isn’t divorced yet. I dated my ex for a while before she filed for divorce — we may have even been living togeth…

Had a group hangout today that had absolutely nothing to do with men or dating and I feel like it poured a little bit of light back into my soul. I made a real connection with a new friend that ended …

I am sending you virtual hugs! I struggle with very similar feelings. I’ve only had one physically intimate relationship, and it took me until I was 25. It ended very quickly, and ever since the…

Police getting involved is unhealthy.  Hopefully some time apart will clear the air and give you the perspective you deserve. Go for a long drive. Even the smallest acts of service or self expression …

I feel similar. And I know a lot of people don’t want conventionally pretty people complain because of our so called pretty privilege but there is such a thing as pretty curse. All my life I have been…

Her writing it down may be a great idea, because when it does enter my mind and I end up asking her again, as soon as she explains what happened (same story) I feel relieved. I wouldn't say she get'…

I just got out of a 20 year relationship. The only relationship i've ever had and with one person since highschool. 20 years of memories and everything and i'm just living in this house with all the m…

To be honest. No. Quite rhe opposite. I got so used to ZERO validation that I just stopped caring at all after a while. I wasn't jealous of him talking about how great his female friends are. I didn't…

Thank you! Yes, f him!!  In hindsight, standing up it feels better than meanwhile. But I was extremely relieved that I didn't fall into freeze mode or fawn, like I used to! I kind of need him for …

For me, as soon as someone checks out for whatever reason or is inconsistent, I am out. Never sacrifice your self worth or self respect for someone else. I was relieved with my last brief person as he…

Here’s a little secret I learned. You are allowed to care. It was 6 years of your life and the idea of what could’ve been, and what would have been and being left like you didn’t matter…. But you are…

I feel stupid. Why can't I find someone who makes me feel loved? I keep giving him free passes and then regretting it. I thought maybe he wasn't it into birthdays so I didn't make a big deal about i…

You are right on. CK One perfume anyone? Black and white, long sleeve shirts with no volume etc? Skinny jeans, giant boots? Sigh, I am so dissapionted. I hated that area, and was RELIEVED when J-…

Dumper here. I agree with the half regret. There were so many wonderful and connected things about us... and then a few big reasons why it was harmful. My body was breaking down. I tried to work on th…

Oof that can feel painful for the State that feels rejected. Here's what I would do. I would acknowledge the disappointment AND if I felt like crying I would also cry. There is nothing wrong with emot…

Holy shit this is my worst fear. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Been there and it just fucking sucks. Feel what you feel, don't be afraid to let it all out. It will get better. But yeah, he…

Your previous post had so, so, so many instances of how incompatible you guys were that I am relieved about this update. You're 20 and this is your first relationship and first love. It's always har…

I agree. I think maybe he just gravitated to the first thing he could think of in terms of differences to soften the rejection, but I'm also very capable of handling "I only see you in a friendship ro…

Oh yes so many amazing transformations in there with usually very scarce mangy few bits and then massive glow up when they embrace the bald by shaving it off I don’t know why on earth I see those pos…

I feel like it's part of the grieving process. It's a transition from marriage to being single. I felt exactly the same during my separation period. I was relieved to have my apartment to myself, af…

Sorry that happened to you too. I went through the same thing, six-year relationship, except we were not engaged. He was soooo relieved to be out of the relationship. It felt like a slap in the face. …

Thank you all for sharing your experiences and life perspectives. I have to admit I feel a bit overwhelmed by the responses, but also very grateful. I am both relieved that I am not alone in this exp…

With all due respect, you have absolutely no business "leaning" towards a diagnosis after reading a couple paragraphs a stranger wrote online. You also have no clue what would be beneficial, and it se…

Make new memories. That's really it. I don't struggle with this problem because I always felt relieved when relationships ended lol, but I think if I were to find myself stuck on one, I would remov…

Your dad is a controlling asshole and he's freaking out because you weren't supposed to act like a self-sufficient and capable adult. You were supposed to fall apart and be like a helpless baby bird, …

OP, I’ve been where you are, and understand how this can shatter a person. The “baby” is at least 4 years old, correct? That’s a time when they’re becoming a bit more independent, pending any developm…