friend,

Was I ever in Love? Me (28) & He (27) — OK, this is my first Reddit post, so cut me some slack - I'm gonna talk to y'all how I talk to my bestie. And I'm kind of beating a dead horse here, so I'd rather not bother my bestie with this AGAIN.…

My arguments against manifestation — 1. **Maladaptive daydreaming proves that manifestation isn't real**; Manifestation doctrine teaches that what you focus on expands and manifests in your physical reality. Do not split hairs and try to…

Fear of abandonment after reassurance — Hi Reddit, I'm not sure how to exactly word this or articulate the feeling. I'm 27M who is best friends (and have feelings for) with another guy 24M. We have an incredibly intimate and close frien…

Think I found a secure woman, and almost immediately self-sabotaged. — In my social club, there’s a woman who had consistently shown signs that she was into me. I was direct and asked her out. She said she was interested but couldn’t date for a few months because her j…

I don't want to cry all day and feel lonely anymore. I don't want to fear abandonment anymore. I want to improve myself. — In 12th grade I became very close to a classmate of mine. Both of us bonded over shared trauma and basically became inseparable. We texted each other 24/7 and became very VERY affectionate which then …

Physical Reaction — I will try to keep the backstory short. I had not known anxious attachment was a thing or that one of my coworkers had become one of only a couple people I really felt a deep connection to, until a f…

READ THIS if you want to POST here — This is a new thread with the SAME GUIDELINES as the previous post which is now archived. THIS THREAD IS ONLY FOR APPROVAL TO POST. You don’t have to be an approved user to comment or lurk. ONLY som…

Avoidance seeking help: what if he’s not avoidant like me, but he actually just has a girlfriend he didn’t tell me about? — Been in contact with a guy for about 6 months now who has been pursuing me the entire time, subtly. When we first met, I had just broken up with my ex a couple of months prior to that (6-month long…

DA Downplaying friendship — I have a self-confessed avoidant friend (I am secure). We dated very briefly but ended it because he said he couldn’t do serious relationships and I didn’t want to continue something ambiguous, catch …

Trying to navigate a "casual" relationship — Hi everyone, I (30F, trans) have been talking to/seeing a woman (24F, cis) for about 5 months. The chemistry is legitimately the strongest I’ve ever experienced - emotional, intellectual, creative, s…

I finally realized my fear of closeness is really a fear of being known — I've been working to understand myself better as a DA, in part with the help of Reddit. I now feel the last puzzle pieces fell into place and I finally have a coherent story of why I am the way I am. …

Are pre-birthday discards the norm? — I’m trying to understand this through attachment theory because I genuinely don’t know what just happened. We’re both women. I was 23 with a grad degree, she was 38 and just got her culinary degree w…

Please help — Hey there! Found this community a few days ago and I seriously need advice on how to push thru the panic/ anxiety. I know I'm an avoidant. All my life I've never wanted people to see me. All my life…

How do I know if I've emotionally checked out or just a protesting behaviour? — I am at a point where I feel withdrawn and not want to talk to a close friend, after repeatedly being let down. "Let down" is probably too harsh. The cultivating event was when I reached out seeking s…

Is there a way to manifest myself to STOP being attracted to someone? — I’m curious if anyone here has used manifestation or LOA techniques to intentionally lose attraction or romantic interest in someone. There’s a guy in one of my classes that I find really attractive.…

A friend fell for me, even though he knew I'm happily married. After trying to distance himself for a while, he's now back but acting hostile towards me. I don't know what I've done to deserve his anger, nor how to fix the situation. Any thoughts or advices? — Me (31F) and my husband (32M) have a friend group we often hang out with. We used to be pretty close with this one friend there (30M), who would hang out with us often even outside the group. He came …

does anyone feel a little pain when they see how other parents treat their kids? — i was with my mates at about 8 or 9pm catching up in a cafe. we’re all south asian in the uk (all our parents immigrated and we were born here) and they all go uni and i’m working a corporate job so w…

My boyfriend (M35) and I (F27) have not said i love you, over a year of dating — TLDR; My boyfriend (M35) and I (f27) have been together for over a year, he hasn’t said I love you despite having talked about marriage, kids, future together. In a conversation he said he was apprehe…

From ‘soul mates’ to strangers — How does one even trust again. Learn to open up again. Let their wall down again. After 2 years, she’s gone. She was my girlfriend, my best friend, my partner, support system, ‘soul mate’. We had …

19 F how do i be less codependent and seeking of external validation — I am not a very busy person as I am still seeking work and not yet able to go to uni so I spend a lot of time by myself or with my friends or boyfriend. im not sure if im codependent towards my partn…

Lack will dissolve when you realise: Manifestation starts from irony, and feeling it real starts from memory. — I said it. This post is for people whose brains are very logic driven. Those who think: “I need to see proof before I believe something.” i have something for you. Let's go. We all know the key: The…

My (29F) brother (34M) asked me if he ‘still has a sister’ because I’m not excited enough about his baby. How do I fix this? — My (29F) brother (34M) and his girlfriend (31F) are expecting a baby in May. I’m happy for them because I know they really wanted a kid, but I don’t feel particularly excited about becoming an aunt. W…

My dad (56M) cut me off (21) for sleeping over at my boyfriend’s house. Now he’s blowing up at me and ruining our relationship beyond repair. — \-Sorry had to repost due to not having line breaks. I’ve always had a complicated relationship with my dad. He’s very controlling and has always been a “helicopter” parent when I was growing up. I a…

Update: How can I(20F) tell my boyfriend (20M) about my sexual preferences when he has already expressed disgust over it? — Alright, so even though no one asked for it I’m back with an update. First of all, thank you to everyone that commented, I swear on everything that I read each and every single comment. Thank you for…

I did it, I broke no contact. — So I had made a previous post about reaching out to my ex after a month of no contact. I was super hesitant about it and almost didn’t do it because I was worried about the result. But after some hesi…

Manifested work and a promotion — I've been a silent lurker here for a while, and for some reason I couldn't manifest small things like idk, seeing a pink elephant. I felt like I was trying so hard, forcing myself to see that pink ele…

Behavior of Asian boys vs. White boys? — I've been wondering about a topic regarding EA and SEAsian boys, socialization, and racialization: do Asian boys behave differently from White (European, non-Latino) boys in any noticeable manner, and…

How to permanently stop feeling romantic love for anyone? — wasn’t sure I needed a TL;DR here, but I’ll put it anyway: how do I turn off my ability to feel love for anyone, ever? hi all, I (M,33) have not had a whole lot of luck with dating. I try to stay s…

Friend said something that shocked me and explained everything... — Edit: added an extra story to the bottom since this post seemed to resonate with people so much. Be strong folks, you're no one's NPC. You can go back and find a lot of my story on my page, but essen…

How do I tell my boyfriend he is wasting my time? — I, 21F have been dating my boyfriend, 24M for almost 3 years now. Recently more than ever it seems as though he never wants to do things I want to do... like, not even consider it. We always end up pl…

I (29F) have cancer and my estranged father (60M) is funding my treatment but forcing me to leave my boyfriend (24M) or marry him immediately. Do I have any way out? — Please be kind. I was unable to type so used audio to text converter and ai to fix the spelling mistakes. I m already in a terrible mental state so hope this sub can be a little gentle on me. Haven't …

Idealization vs Devaluation: how it looked like for me — Tldr: Just read the Idealization and devaluation parts.  ## Idealization * You're a king! * You sexy tiger, handsome god of a man * You're the best!  * Gives gifts early on in the relationship * On…

People underestimate the power of connections that were formed during childhoood — And I dont mean positive connections only. Negative connections also seem to stick around till we die. And since our parents chose to form negative bonds with us, unfortunely that is what lasts up…

Not feeling like myself - suddenly cold & not sure why — I, 26F have always been quite positive and friendly. And even on my worst days I’d keep a level of kindness and respect to others. But lately I’ve just been feeling so different as if nothing matters …

Sunken Cost Fallacy — Married for almost 27 years. Got married at the ripe age of 19. Funny thing, I thought it was a mistake on my wedding night when he got out of bed to jack off because I was so exhausted from the long …

Am I just paranoid or is it evil eye? — Hi, I’m 27F. I graduated last year (2025), while most of my friends finished 3–5 years earlier. I had to work while studying, which delayed my graduation—not because I struggled academically. Right no…

I (32F) trusted my partner (34M) completely until I discovered he lied about a “friend” he talks to daily and that they were texting very appropriate. I’m shaking and feeling lost — I’m a 32F and my partner is 34M. We’ve known each other for many years and have a long history together. We were apart for a while in the past but recently decided to try again because we both felt th…

My parents (48F and 48M) feel offended as I don't have income to gift them anything. — I (24F) have been unemployed for almost three months and getting a job is ridiculously difficult. Father's day is celebrated around this time of the year in my country, and I have always felt pressure…

Is Marriage preferable? Guna milan 20/36 — Hi everyone, I’m seeking a genuine and honest opinion regarding a potential marriage match. My family has received a proposal for me through a family friend, and we’ve matched our kundalis. The Guna…

My (29M) prenup with my fiance (28W) pays her for having children. My parents (65M, 62W) are telling me to call off the wedding — **EDIT 2: It's occurred to me that I don't know how to close a post. Really I just wanted to hear what other married/engaged folks were doing. Thanks the advice for those who gave it.** **EDIT: Real…

My wife finally admitted an affair that happened 9 years ago — This is my first post on Reddit. My spouse and I are both 44, and have been married since 2014. We met and started dating when we were 26. In late 2016, her cousin, who was her best friend, was killed…

Worth the wait — About 6 years ago, I (34F) hit rock bottom. My life was in shambles after an abusive relationship, so I had no other choice but to go back to live in my mother’s house for a while. At this point, I wa…

Carl Jung wasn't a psychologist. He was a shaman. — Carl Jung quietly wrote one of the most profound esoteric texts of all time, at least in my own personal opinion. Seven Sermons to the Dead was written in 1916, privately shared between a handful of J…

Update: Just found out my (36M) new friend (32M) is a registered sex offender — Original Post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1rxhyrj/just_found_out_my_36m_new_friend_32m_is_a/ So of course the answer was obvious. I was stunned at first, but after sitting …

Voice in my head predicting the future??? Am I reaching?? — Ok so for about the past 2 weeks i have been consistently meditating, which i never have before, the max i ever done was like 4 days, but anyways about 7 days ago i start getting this urge and feeling…

Speaking out about my experience. The Shadow behind the Light? — Hello, I have felt compelled to speak about my experiences more. As my perspective is unfortunately a lesser narrative in our space. I have time and time again read but and pieces here and there that …

My Dearest Love, — This is my goodbye. I have kept the door cracked and the light on for you since the night we said goodbye. Sadly, I have come to the tragic and hollow realization that I am the only one holding on to …

I have a suicidal friend, he lives away for college. Doesnt like talking about it. He wasnt this bad before college, what do I do? — My friend has been suicidal before in school. He had gotten a lot better until he went college in july and something changed? He has great roommates and friends over there, the place is decent. But …

The Double Body Technique : A Great astral projection method. — # The Double Body Technique: What is The Double Body? **The double body** is a visualized form resembling yourself, created through imagination. This construct can be inhabited and used for astral pr…

I normally don’t like to talk about my issues outside of therapy because I just want people to see me as normal, but I’m 36 and still can’t get past the effects of trauma from my childhood. — I grew up with a mom who is obviously mentally ill, very likely borderline personality disorder at the very least. I grew up white trash in poverty surrounded by drugs and trashy people my whole life …

I love my bf, but i genuinely cannot stand his dog, its affecting everything — Okay, I need honest opinions because I feel ridiculous even typing this, but it’s becoming a serious issue in my relationship, For reference, I am a girl, 21 and he is 23, we have been dating for a ye…

I hear you buddy. I loved my ex so much, and still love her, even though I could never take her back. But what really hurts is as you described - she blind-sided me and could not care less. I, on the …

Probably...I'm not fully DA especially now, but even when I first started dating my girlfriend, I never needed time away after spending time with her. In fact, I wanted even more. DA or not, it's a…

I cried when I first time heard Cognitive Dissonance by Sophie Holohan, I am FA but lean avoidant "Get too close, build a wall Miss a friend, never call".

I've been in this exact situation when I was an FA in a LDR with another FA in another country. And our f2f time was very little like yours but we spoke daily, intensely and talked and had plans. I kn…

Yes. I’m a lot better than I used to be. I had a secure boyfriend, and he has grounded me so much. I actually think I’m like 50% changed since five years ago. Still a long ways to go. He’s on the si…

Wow, that’s… I mean, that’s seriously sociopathic behaviour. I can’t even imagine how you felt. It’s such a mindfuck. I hope you kicked him out and never looked back. What a toxic piece of bovine excr…

Secure here. I still do learn and learn to accept that a lot of people cant express themself and selfreflect. Long distance friend of mine and, probably DA, got into arguments with me via whatsapp. …

So many examples I can think of lol. In general, after our honeymoon phase was over, she deactivated and started pulling away. I assumed this was caused by anxiety, so instead of calling out her dism…

I’m giving her the benefit of doubt because I’ve jump to conclusions in the past, and the guy was some socially awkward tech nerd. I was more concerned about her playing games than the possibility she…

You assume wrong, I’m a woman and friend is. It’s a platonic relationship. Close friendships also involve attachment, it’s not strictly a romantic thing. I’m not unattached from my friend, I just am …

They might have been more hurt that when they didn’t come in, you didn’t call to check on them, after they called to check on you when you were sick? So - I would think maybe it would be good to apol…

You always saw her as something more than a friend, it's just that now you need to realize it because she is out of your reach. Since she was always available before, you never bothered and was part o…

This is him retreating back into his old bullshit under the guise of “working on himself”. The work he needs to do is figuring out how to be a good partner to you and he’s abandoning that relationship…

It’s never easy when it’s that early especially with other major life events like moving. That being said, sometimes the language we use about our exes can get in the way of our healing. I used to say…

I know what you’re saying, in my case I had all elaborate dates planned for me, introduced to all his family and friends as his girlfriend, our parents met, flowers, gifts, attended his friends weddin…

I’ve read all that stuff. I used to be heavily into attachment theory because of my ex. She claimed to be “FA” but its all lies. She just wasnt that into me. Once she got her new boyfriend, she had no…

I am sorry op. I did have smth similar, once with my colleague who was my work best friend, and we hung out outside a lot. But when he told me he is in love with me I told him no, I was really upset t…

she probably liked me cuz I wasn't only her partner at that time. I was her emotional support as well. someone she confided in, fully trusted, and used to share everything with me, and I was also her …

So relate to this. I can be perfectly fine until I have a crush or am in a relationship. Then my world starts getting consumed by them and I lose focus of myself and my wants. My advice would be to ma…

Um...I guess with this friend, I pushed for us to talk more, and when she showed interest, I became ambivalent because what if we talked more and she realized I was boring or not cool to hang out with…

Thank you so much for this detailed reply. It honestly feels like you are in my brain because every single thing you brought up is just so accurate. I truly feel heard and seen, so thank you. Just rea…

TL;DR: when an avoidant asks for a break, is it real? Ive been dating an avoidant guy for like four months. He had ended a 9 year relationship a year ago and I ended an 8 year relationship recently.…

Text of original post by u/Positive-Entrance193: In 12th grade I became very close to a classmate of mine. Both of us bonded over shared trauma and basically became inseparable. We texted each other 2…

I shared this with my therapist eons ago. I don't remember what she said. I concluded that it's because friendship has flexible rules and have stood the test of time. For instance, friendship is a man…

Wow! That is so insightful! Holy heck, why isn't this comment at the top?! That makes so much sense that it kind of hurts a little. And, to be up front, the only way I've ever been able to feel "heale…

My dms are always open friend, I grew up with anxious attachment style, I'm learning how to work through my triggers. Always here for support.

Hey everyone, I’d really appreciate some advice or perspective. Yesterday I had an argument with my girlfriend, and it left me feeling pretty low. We hadn’t talked all day, so in the evening I…

I'm struggling with what is realistic to ask/expect regarding texting. I spent the entire weekend with my boyfriend, he left for work this morning and we texted throughout the day while he was at work…

I think it's normal in anxious attachment style. That doesn't mean it feels comfortable for you - nor for him, to be honest. It sounds like you could both benefit to do work around your attachment sty…

Text of original post by u/upernikos: I will try to keep the backstory short. I had not known anxious attachment was a thing or that one of my coworkers had become one of only a couple people I reall…

Oh, questions I didn't answer. Hmmm. Because there is very much a HUGE stigma in my current ofice that "Bosses are bosses & workers are workers & at the very least in the office they do not mix"... I…

> No matter how many times I’ve explicitly talked about it, they still do.  So what you're actually saying is that you've tried to set a boundary and they've ignored it and continue to make you unco…

Thanks so much, I definitely pride myself on being self-aware. I was self-aware through the whole toxic "relationship" but just wanted to convince myself it could work because I had a really good time…

Same! It was the best resource on attachment I've found. It helped me understand on a deep level why I was acting in ways that seemed so illogical and shameful. When I read it I was in a repetitive cy…

I appreciate the response however I don’t think it touched at all on my problem. I suppose “don’t be friends” could have been your advice, but many of us with anxious attachment don’t get to turn that…

I feel very seen because your reply reflects my situation almost exactly. What you experience with your partner, I experience with my best friend. With my regular friends I’m “casual friends.” I l…

I feel like she isn’t interested due to me overpursuing if that makes sense. I’m totally backed off but does it ever help to admit /essentially apologize for it being pressuring? This is a girl that I…

As someone who fell for an avoidant female friend, I have to tell you this as harsh as possible. Distance yourself and whatever you do do not explain yourself. Just quiet distance. Its the only way. I…

I'm a guy of 50M and am in a relationship with a woman who is 46F We are 2.5 years in a Living-Apart-Relationship. She lives with her childs, I live with mine. We see eachother once a week for one, t…

I want to break up with my anxiously attached friend. I just can't handle the level of intensity she demands. She can't take no for an answer ever, we went on a month trip to Japan and every time we d…

Hi everyone. I’m a woman in my mid-30s and recently I’ve been feeling completely overwhelmed and ashamed about how dating affects my mental health. I’ve had depressive episodes before, and it feels li…

After doing some googling, I’m learning that my friend seems to fit the anxious attachment tendencies. She seems to have cyclic behavior that I’ve seen throughout our lives. She dates a guy, and then …

I am a 65 year old professional man, happily married to another man 25 years. Recently I started reaching out to make more straight "bro" friends because I really don't like the gay scene, (gay men ta…

I can tell you my experience. I have been in a close to 7 year relationship with a BPD ex girlfriend, quit that one more than a year ago, if you know the dynamics you know that's a huge slap in the fa…

Am I (26M) being triggered by my anxious attachment with this guy I'm seeing (25M)? Hi everyone, I (26M) am struggling to separate reality from past trauma (a toxic avoidant ex) and need a rational a…

You've said you aren't going to break up, in which case you need to accept his need for space right now and trust that he'll get in touch when he's ready. Any message you send, no matter how calm or k…

Thank you for responding to me. Making this post was incredibly embarrassing for me because this entire situation feels absurd and the fact that it’s making me spiral so much has been really confusing…

chat gpt is not a person, its a bunch of code programmed to analyze what youre saying and keep a conversation going. sometimes it spits out pure nonsense just to answer your question. it literally jus…

Yes... these past few months I've done a lot of research on codependency, limerence, attachments... I also came to the conclusion that if I want a friendship with my friend, it has to come from accept…

Hey guys, I finally stopped denying I have anxious attachment and would like some guidelines on how to approach texting expectations. 1- When should I expect texts from people ( seperated by fami…