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Citations (58)
I am trapped in a cycle of trauma, fawning, and complete emotional dependency: How do I survive when my past won't let me breathe? — **TL;DR:** I survived a horrific childhood witnessing my mother’s repeated sexual assault and suffered years of severe bullying. Today, I’m struggling with AuDHD, Bipolar, BPD, and what I suspect is s…
Questions on Seneca's Letters — Hey everyone, I am working my way through Seneca's letters to Lucilius. The translation I have is by Margaret Graver and A. A. Long. I am a bit confused by what Seneca's views on feeling emotions ar…
The Tragedy Among Us — To lose all hope or confidence. This is the definition of despair. I've had my share of all things good and bad, but I've never felt despair. I've seen it. Watching 9/11 unfold comes to mind. Seeing p…
Predator or Stupidity? — \* trigger warning \* \*for adults \* sensitive topic I feel conflicted about something...and I wonder what others think... I went on a date with someone. it was pre-disclosed we were looking for…
I feel like I'm too much for for my best friend and I don’t know if I should step back or try to fix it (31F / 29F) — I’m trying to understand if this is an attachment mismatch or if I’m just… fundamentally too heavy for people. I’m 31, she’s 29, and we’ve known each other for over 10 years. She’s not a casual frien…
Feeling super lost almost 4 months out, Have questions where I need help! — I went through a breakup in December with the woman I genuinely thought I was going to marry. The weird part is that I was not even fully happy in the relationship near the end, and when it first end…
I am trapped in a cycle of trauma, fawning, and complete emotional dependency: How do I survive when my past won't let me breathe? — **TL;DR:** I survived a horrific childhood witnessing my mother’s repeated sexual assault and suffered years of severe bullying. Today, I’m struggling with AuDHD, Bipolar, BPD, and what I suspect is s…
My mom gives tough love when I need to be comforted — Since I was a kid, I always told my mom everything. However, as I grew up I started to feel uncomfortable telling her what was on my mind. My mom is supportive, however she can be brash when I need he…
Anecdotally, I am good at getting admitted to all-funded conferences, I used to say it’s just because I believe in it. Later on, I realized it turned into a pattern as I was lucky for getting into the…
Very inspirational. Thank you for this.
You apply as much as it makes sense for the people and time. Making those decisions for now while maintaining a long view is an important part of DevOps. It's a process that introduces people into th…
*" I am VERY familiar with the law and with NG's teachings, so no need to reiterate basics and quotes please - I'm asking about your real experiences. What made you actually believe and know? "* Repe…
Seems like a person who got spooked and having escaped unscathed has calmed down, reflected, and realized that perhaps their anxiety was irrational. And that is a good indicator that when times get to…
I usually just try to focus on something or write down my feelings if it's too overwhelming. I don't really know why I'm like this, but I do tend to take a little while before feeling fully trusting a…
I finally unfollowed my ex today. He ghosted me a little over two months ago, and I never got a reason or explanation. We went from talking about me finally meeting his child to complete silence withi…
The key is to recognize when you are with someone who 1. Checks your legitimate boxes and 2. Does not make you feel excessively anxious You may not have ridiculously strong feelings off the bat and …
I do understand, and like i said, great work so far. Not detracting from that all! Like i said though i think its hard to simply extrapolate these results into a relationship, because a relationship …
I get that. A miracle is a change in perception. And that can happen within any relational context you choose. And the balance of Do and Be you're describing sounds very healthy. Conciously choosing…
I'm an ADHD male. I'll be the first to admit we are difficult to date, how his brain works sounds like how my brain works. It's more so that if he had planned to do chores today, changing that plan …
You won’t find a good reason. This will never make sense to you because it doesn’t make sense. People aren’t rational. This person’s actions are irrational because this isn’t how you act when you say …
As a 42M also having trouble dealing with aging, a liberal/progressive/social dem, living in a very small, conservative, evangelical town, in a conservative state, who would gladly date 30’s, 40’s, po…
If my partner was getting threatening and abusive messages that were coming from my number and he was convinced it was me, I would move heaven and earth to prove to him that it wasn't. It completely m…
Your previous post had so, so, so many instances of how incompatible you guys were that I am relieved about this update. You're 20 and this is your first relationship and first love. It's always har…
Ha ha ha! True, prefrontal cortex must be fully operational. Looks like some of the other things you are looking for mean skewing younger makes sense for you. I am not saying that in the wild I wo…
that was inspirational. I'm 31 and also struggle with height, but not for long.
I have very similar issues about not feeling. I found through some intense therapy that when I’m not feeling anything it’s because if I did, the feelings would be too overwhelming, so, I feel nothing.…
So here's what happened at each conjunction specifically: 1917 (Saturn-Neptune conjunct in Leo): Russian Revolution. The entire Tsarist economic system was dismantled. Banks nationalized. Private …
1. My teachers are what i call, a colony of light essentially. 2. They morph a lot, but the majority of the time they look human but i've noticed some alien looking intelligences as well that definite…
Honestly, I don't think anyone will be able to understand. It's irrational. Many people here have already tried. It will never make sense or add up. I think the betrayed person just needs to accept th…
Big body changes can take a while to get used to. Because it's a change to you, you can feel hyper aware of how other people see you. Why not talk to your partner about your feelings of insecurity? Yo…
The same way that drug addicts continue to do drugs even though they risk losing their job and experiencing serious consequences. Addicts aren't rational.
But, a condom isn’t 100%. He should know this. Dude’s so irrational. Paternity test. Plain and simple.
“An abusive man operates from a belief system in which he is justified in how he treats his partner. When something goes wrong, he does not look inward for the cause; instead, he scans for what she di…
Banking was a major issue for early waves of immigrants. They couldn’t find institutions that would allow them to invest and make returns on savings. By design they were excluded so as to prevent them…
Rational often means implicitly rational and correct, while humans are simply rational. It doesn't mean we will always be correct, but the fact that we are even using the logical form of 2+2=orangutan…
I'm not pinoy but as an asian tennis and nba fan, I thought this is a neat moment. AF simping to AM jokes. Glad to see at least in some subculture, younger celeb show reverence even if it's cross spo…
Rationality is a human construct projected onto the universe. It’s not intrinsically rational.
The universe, the laws of physics, etc are rational. Human's thoughts, opinions and actions can be irrational.
Nooo no no 😭 You are setting yourself on the path to fix him. Please get into therapy yourself instead! You are taking on your partner as a project to fix, you want to change his entire worldview be…
There are at least two types of empathy, emotional and rational. I think some of them are capable of rational one.
Point out where I'm upset. This ain't about me or you. All I did was point out the fallacy of a truism that invalidates the right of any individual to complain because of their gender, a truism that *…
Women are different than men biologically in terms of body types, reproductive systems, and some hormones. There is nothing in science that actually proves or even supports the argument that men are …
Terrible people are not “perfect for each other other” I hate this take. They need to individually grow, and us just letting them off the hook as if being terrible is in their DNA doesn’t fly. They d…
That's not what Stoicism is. It's about focusing on the things you can control, and then caring about those things only. The thing you can control is your attitude. Also, this isn't a solution or com…
I don't want to have a discussion about transphobia with you because I highly suspect it won't go anywhere. What I will say: no matter if you understand/agree that the joke is transphobic or not, you …
Youre never an idiot for caring, never feel bad about having feelings. Its what you choice to do with those feelings. If he left the door open of course youre going to keep a foot in it. That’s tota…
Your husband is being kind of a jerk. You get sick because you are around kids a lot, and if your husband gets sick first, then HE gave it to you. Tell him you don't want to be sick, and would prefe…
Hello LowCryptographer3650, First and foremost, it's important to recognize that the courage and honesty you have shown in sharing your feelings here is nothing short of admirable. These feelings of …
Which is so wild to me, bc not only is their original statement incorrect or irrational, but their justification for believing it is *also* irrational. They’re ready to die on a hill that they’ve alre…
No, mantras are not affirmations, not even close. The west has modernized the word mantra and use them both interchangeably. Mantras are a set of syllables put carefully put together which directly …
so you literally had to fight a doctor to get tested for something that turned out to be dangerous. and then you're supposed to just trust the next doctor who says "you're fine"? of course your brain …
Saturn retrograde in 2nd house of money = broke Saturn square moon = depression Intercepted Sagittarius and Gemini / 5th (self expression) and 11th house (friends and social circles) = fomo Becaus…
Yeah sounds like it and now she's terrified that you'll do the same, but she's only going to push you away which proves her correct (in her mind) self fulfilling prophecy. I'm no expert and your the…
That makes sense! I think I heard that somewhere myself. I am sure that is a contributor. It's just weird because my morning anger is very irrational. I mean I get angry over/about stuff that is likel…
She barely knows this person. Of course she's going to be concerned that the situation could turn hostile. Their roommate is already sexually harassing them. Roommate's behaviour is not normal in any …
Lots of people don’t acknowledge the cheating and don’t realize it’s kind of like a mushroom, where you see the little mushroom at the top of the ground, but the actual pathology is underground and it…
I want to say something carefully because I think you need to hear it clearly what he did while you were asleep is a consent violation. not a miscommunication, not a habit from a past relationship, n…
My gosh, I feel so close to this. It’s like reading my own thoughts and experiences. I think it’s difficult as a man to leave when your partner has brought more money into the relationship, whether th…