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I kind of view it like those videos where people create an extremely basic ai model with some simple rules and a defined goal, and with each iteration the model improves upon itself so that eventually…
Meta won’t let you control impressions, so I trained an RL model to do it — One thing that always annoys me with Meta campaigns: you can’t just say “give me X impressions.” It’s all budget-based, and if you’re trying to hit specific visibility goals (like consistent daily del…
Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…
I'm not sure about my attachment style but I want to discover it right now 'cause I want to start healing!!!!!! — Sorry for the long text, I want to be thorough. So, I just ended my first ever relationship. I'm 20, I'm a lesbian from a conservative background and had a lot of internalized homophobia and religiou…
2 monts into breakup. Here's what I'd tell my younger self. — 1. **Zero Contact.** Unfollow her, and if necessary, unfollow people in her inner circle. I unfollowed her **close group of friends** and her sister. I have absolutely nothing against them; I just don…
Why do I feel like I’m so dumb sometimes. Tryna understand how my mercury learns 😔 help
Was it S/A? (TW) — This was a while ago and we were both 11. She was my gf and this wasnt the first anything happened w us. We were in my bed and she had her knee/thigh between my legs and was like idk how to explain bu…
"Good Riddance", after I had just tried to un*live myself. — I've been told reaching out helps, idk. So right now i am a 16m, almost 17, this story goes back to when i was fifteen. I had been physically abused by my father, it was scary but wasn't something th…
"Good Riddance", after I had just tried to un*live myself. — I've been told reaching out helps, idk. So right now i am a 16m, almost 17, this story goes back to when i was fifteen. I had been physically abused by my father, it was scary but wasn't something th…
Don't overthink it. When you are in SH, even if you have contradicting thoughts popping up, the solution is always to ignore them and bring attention back to the affirmation/scene and feeling of havin…
Honestly? It's mostly up to her to resolve that issue, not on you. But somethings you can do to help is tell her you like when people are being real, it doesn't matter if that's a bit imperfect. I al…
The last FA I dated shit tested me early on, dumping some not so flattering info about herself just to see how I would react. I'm not an FA but I've dated quite a few of them. Fear of abandonment is …
"The last FA I dated shit tested me early on, dumping some not so flattering info about herself just to see how I would react." • Mine has done it throughout all 4 years! I faltered a few times, yes…
You’re really doing great - this is just so hard! I’m gonna say something that might sound counterintuitive and blasphemous, but I hope you’ll stick around to read my long winded explanation of why 😅…
The first thing that comes to mind for me is DBT skills, specifically opposite action in the context of understanding the DBT model of emotions. Opposite action is a skill where you say to yourself "…
Have you ever been evaluated for OCD? I also have AA & hypervigilance and this sounds like it has a bit of an OCD flavor to me. ETA: regardless of the OCD thing, there are a couple of things that hel…
Hi there, I’m F16 and I have attachment isuess. In childhood I didn't receive enough love from my parents ( abusive, emotionally unavailable father and a toxic mother, and I don’t intend to repair tho…
Something that does help me is just reminding myself like, I want someone who likes me, fits into my life, etc. So if that person decides they like someone else more, or they don't like the way I am, …
Yes yes yes yes yessssss!!!!! Someone will accept you and love you for who you really are. My ex once said I was too much for him because I was too emotional, I did care so much about things around m…
I've been practicing Radical Honesty (the branded modality you can learn from books & workshops) for a couple years now and it's been the #1 thing that's helped me. It's not "brutal honesty" or whatev…
That's rough and i can see where you're coming from. this is my guy perspective, maybe he feels like it would be unwanted if he initiates it. I would have an earnest conversation with him about it, as…
In the pop psychology world it does, but not in the clinical world. Avoidants inhibit feelings from consciousness. That is the hallmark of an avoidant attachment strategy. Their brains learnt from a …
The thing about AI is that it tells you what you tell it to say. It learns based on you, and so he's basically talking to himself. AI is also destroying the planet so maybe he should stop helping it. …
Had a religious friend as well. Every time i'd open up about something he'd tell me to talk to God about it. The more we talked the less arguments he had 'God is our father and sometimes the father …
Gah. I vented about my non-existing social life and my uncertainty about where I stand with a girl in my cosplay group (it's actually a copy of my very last post here, if anyone wonders about the spec…
Another take I have on this is that I think a lot of emotionally neglected people (especially women/mothers) deal with their own emotional neglect by becoming the fixer/helper/caregiver. They base the…
That’s how long I was with my narcissist, and by that point, I remember saying that I was just the “shell of a human being” I to didn’t recognize the person I had become. Even after being apart I fe…
Breakup of long term marriages, where there is nothing dramatic like physical abuse, follow a depressing pattern. One partner, the dumper, starts uncoupling a year before they admit it to themselves …
Of course you are welcome!! If it helps rekindle other peoples relationship then glad to be here for you. Back to this: Hmmm interesting so you both have talked about it multiple times but he does…
If you don't love the man who is amazing, gives you all the patience required and gives you stable love and quiet support while you are going through shitty times then what the hell do you want? …
Literally the only way to combat this is to open your door more, but pretend not to notice when he gets up. Don’t talk to him, don’t look at him, and if he tries to engage just give him a weird look a…
You either live with yourself or you don't. Ruminating on it helps no one, least of all the people you've hurt. It will drag you down. Try not to think about it. It'll pop into your head, of course, b…
What you’re feeling is your nervous system craving the *familiar safety* you used to get from them it’s like your brain is asking for a warm blanket that’s no longer there. One practical approach is t…
What a great job you’ve done managing the whole affair, pun intended. You’re far ahead in maturity than many men your age. Being analytical helps. Getting therapy balances the emotions as well. …
No, this is not healthy. How do you expect her to grow as a person if she never becomes a truth teller and never learns accountability? And your mental health....don't you want something actually re…
You don't. You've already communicated. This is a man boy who wants to change you and thinks you don't know what you really want. Men like this don't see you as a person, they see you as a girl who ha…
Have you ever told him that if the 2 of you can't communicate, you won't last as a couple? If so, what did he say? What you have atm is not sustainable long term. And ot's not just about his todd…
Love bombing. They have a new person in their lives and want to make a good impression. They've been out of the dating scene for many, many years and over compensate. Usually there is an emotional af…
Warriorhood-- *real* warriorhood-- is anything but singular, for what it's worth. The *first* lesson a warrior learns is that nothing meaningful is accomplished by an individual.
I experience this a lot and sometimes wonder why things seem to go through the motions so easily for other people but feel almost impossible for me. I think growing up with trauma can make you very hy…
It’s possible he learns from this and be a better person for it. But it’s a gamble.
Aries is about domination,Saturn is more like a service, responsibility. Assume a young boy and old age grandpa travelling together in car,young boy wants to feel the thrill, adrenaline wants to reac…
Someone asked “but they say what you feel manifests, so how didn’t those feelings manifest” and my view on that is, they did. In the past. The thing is. Most people have feelings living inside of th…
“Over time, the woman learns that her anger is not safe to express. If she shows it, he may ridicule her, ignore her, or punish her in more direct ways. So she begins to hold it in, to smooth things o…
I learned how to slack line on acid. Within an hour or so I’d leveled up my skill on it probably by 80%. I think psychs can really bring you into the body, elevating your body consciousness, and this …
I'm not a parent but my nMother says ignorant stuff like that too. One time she criticised her next door neighbour who recently adopted a baby for "talking to her baby too much". Like, isn't that how …
I mean, it is sorta I guess? if the char is cheating by participating? but the better question is what does that matter? does he think reading something means someone agrees with it and actively does…
And feel everything 1000% and make tons of mistakes for sure. Hopefully he learns from this quickly, and hopefully it’s just lack of experience and not control issues.
better she learns this now, before she has a daughter with him
I feel for you with what you're going through. The way he DARVOd (after *he* made a tasteless joke at your expense) is going to be an ongoing issue for you in your marriage. This shows his emotional m…
I mean you know the guy I don't has he shown misogynistic views before? Or was this more of a one off. So he has a pretty fixed group dynamic with friends and they do an activity a few times a year …
If you read about Patricia Crittenden's understanding of attachment avoidance you'll find a more articulate explanation, but avoidant strategies are based on a kind of cause and effect logic i.e. if I…
Maybe it will break him hard enough that he learns to be a responsible roommate in his next relationship.
yeah, exactly, this sounds like a the grass is always greener on my neighbourgh she has everything every single young man or woman, wants >i want to change them in reality 80% of people will not c…
She likes them, waits for sex after love because she can’t do casual and learns there a lack of sexual compatibility. This is my interpretation, OP feel free to correct me.
It’s ok to have boundaries and not meet her. You are torturing yourself and will not be comfortable. I know lots of people in your shoes and they don’t do anything together. Activities are done separa…
i’m really sorry you’re going through this. what your mum did isn’t okay at all, and you didn’t deserve that. not everyone who becomes a parent learns how to love the way a child needs. i’m 21 as wel…
i just left a relationship where he deadass told me “well i thought i was getting better” and when i asked him why he believed that, he said “because you stopped mentioning those things.” i then had t…
Of course it never makes sense when someone so young dies so early. As someone who had 2 NDEs and lost loved ones way too young, I have to say that this life is a temporary experience of consciousne…