not feeling it

Something alot of people don't understand is that love is a choice, not a feeling. Neurologically, our brains are not one organ but in effect lots of separate brains (lobes) that are wired together. …

For those hurting, advice for your 2026 and my story — Hello everyone, **Preface** I am an anxious attacher, so my experience by-and-large is with dismissive avoidants and fearful avoidants. It is not my intent to villainize these attachment styles; thi…

Do you end or cancel dates early? — 42F here. I was married at 20, divorced at 37, so I never did the dating scene when I was younger, much less OLD. I started OLD after the divorce, had a couple bf's, taken breaks, re-learning what I w…

Time heals? Nah, TRAUMA K*LLS — ‘36m’—-‘24f’ So my pregnant gf after 6 months of being prego and in a relationship with me decided to part ways, said some junk about finding Jesus…. Needing some space and finding peace from her de…

29F Need guidance on getting over someone 28M or if I mishandled things here. — 29F here. Met a guy (29M) on hinge and we went on 5 dates - we haven’t had sex / slept together yet - but we’ve gone as far as oral. During the 1st two dates, he was ready being extremely physical (to…

I feel like if it’s only been a week and you haven’t gotten physical and you’re not feeling it, it’s best to just leave. Running from a strong connection is different from running from someone you don…

I’m a FA leaning secure (previously leaning anxious) after leaving a long marriage and experiencing my first DA discard. I have been using casual sex as a way to explore sexually in my 40s. I lived a …

So weird to leave the match there as some sort of trash heap rather than unmatch. I can only assume it’s a validation thing. Me, I always just unmatch if I’m not feeling it

Which is absolutely fine, I've been in that exact position many times myself. At least unmatch people though if you're not feeling it.

2 matches have asked me out for this weekend and I’m not feeling it at all. I should probably pause until I move. I have so many things to figure out - the move, a new job, buying a car, getting re…

Second date planned. 90% sure (not quite 100%) I don't feel attracted enough for a relationship, but there's a lot of positives and I had a good time on date 1. I always stress for days before rejecti…

Just some pattern observation: I (36F) am cute and interesting and personable and almost always get asked on a second date. But from there it seems to go two ways: 1) I see an incompatibility and end…

I'm sorry I asked basically the same thing a few days ago, but I have so much trouble understanding this part of dating. It's time for me to ask for a 3rd date. I like spending time with her. But whil…

Thank you so much for this permission to not feel bad if I'm not feeling it!!!! This is very true. The thing is on each individual interaction, I get this. When I step back and look at the major patte…

Honestly, I'd count from the reunion if you're feeling like you're starting over. Six weeks is still pretty new in the grand scheme of things, and it's totally fine to take your time. Don't let anyone…

Welp, the 'roster' has been depleted and I'm currently Talking to zero people. I think it's time to take a break. I've received the "hey, you are super sweet and I had a great time but I'm just not …

This seems to be a bit of an odd attitude towards (what I assume is) a first date. You should be going in with the idea of finding out whether they're right for you, not assuming they probably won't b…

If she’s too anxious to do a first date you should just tell her you’re not feeling it and move on. Either she can show up or not, but you have to trust that she’s a grown adult and can also make deci…

Say you’re not feeling it lol

Hey, one of the things I told myself when I started dating again is that I would no longer accept feeling insecure with someone. If, for whatever reason, I began to doubt someone's feelings for me, I …

OP - we are all saying the same thing and coming to similar conclusions. He’s not saying it, because he’s not feeling it and you are painfully aware of that.

Only ever done a walk, drinks or coffee on a very first date but that’s kind of more to suss them out, but on a second date (which you might consider the first real date) I’ve done crazy golf/pool/air…

For me text would be fine after two dates, the last woman I met twice thought it was necessary to call me and analyze the whole situation and tell me stuff she didn’t like about me. After two dates I …

I wouldn't go on the date. After only meeting twice I'd say it's totally fine to let her know by text with a basic explanation that you're not feeling it. From my experience "rejecting" someone after …

Same experience. After two months she told me she found our conversations shallow 😳 I shared more with her than with my friends. I was quite upset after this. It’s weird how people can give you th…

I saw your music example, but depending how often this happens, I think there are a few paths that feel reasonable/make sense: 1. Just unmatch. If you haven’t set a meetup, it’s not a big deal. You ba…

I can't believe people are saying "let it fade" or just unmatch. We're all over 30, right? Just be upfront and then unmatch. At this point you don't really owe an explanation but a simple "sorry, not …

Worst way to handle it: Stop responding to all attempts to reach out, and do nothing else. Better than that, but still sucks: Unmatch. Best: Hey, sorry, but I'm not feeling it. Imma bow out. Thanks fo…

I used to feel guilty, but I've realized my emotional bandwidth is too limited to force a connection. If I'm not feeling it, I just say, 'I've enjoyed chatting, but I don't think we're a match. Best o…

Yes, we're all over 30. But I don't think there's anything immature about not sending a message to every single person you're not interested in after chatting. They're total strangers and I'd burn out…

I went on 7 dates over 6 weeks with a guy who seemed really into me and intentional. I met his friends, I met his dog, we had one sleepover. Then he got sick with the flu and disappeared for two weeks…

+1, but with girls. If I’m not FEELING it… it won’t be important for me, I’d prefer if she didn’t, because she could probably sense. But I’m not sure that would work in an actual relationship, because…

You have been together for 16 years. No one is IN LOVE for 16 years in a row, this feeling ebbs and flows, it's only natural. If he is a good partner and a good father, I would never force my children…

Stopped replying this weekend but feeling bad about that now (recovering people pleaser) I think I'm just going to let him know I'm not feeling it anymore so I can mentally just let myself off the hoo…

Honestly, I think if she’s not feeling it then your actions (within reason) are kinda moot. You showed up on time, brought energy, and followed up - you did your half! I don’t think subtle changes wou…

I don't feel unsafe if someone is evaluating me. That's what early dating is about! I feel unsafe if I suspect that their rejection will be something a lot hurtier than "thanks for meeting me, not fee…

"You'll be OK. Remember B? You cried for two weeks and were fine."  B was a dog we had for less than a year and had to get rid of because he started attacking me at random. And no, I wasn't fine. I …

Just be upfront after the first date if you're not feeling it. We are all too old for games and prefer not to waste time.

I read another post one time where op had said the man said “he couldn’t feel sex” because she was so loose. Turned out it wasn’t even her. He was cheating. Him not feeling it or getting pleasure was …

It's a beautiful, sunny day and I feel so melancholy. He's getting some dental work and it's his birthday this weekend. This is my chance to step up but I'm not feeling it. I'll need extra shots in m…

>This is my chance to step up but I'm not feeling it. Can you explain why you feel the need to "step it up" for someone who didn't do anything for your birthday or Valentine's Day, and you aren't eve…

Hey there, 41 female. You are hanging onto something that does not exist. If you are only getting text back or messages whatever back once a day or once every other day. They are keeping you as an opt…

You're allowed to do whatever you want with whoever you want if you choose to. If you wanna fool around, go for it. In no universe do you owe it to sweet guy to do the same if you're not feeling it.

I don't watch the show, and wouldn't go on any reality show. I agree with you - physical attraction is important. I've usually tried to give it up to 3 dates to determine attraction, but I've found th…

95% of the time the writing is right on the wall. 15-60 minutes of good convo, and a date is set within a week of having that. Anything outside of this (no replies, flakey schedule, some other cliché)…

Every date I’ve been on I’ve had a good time. If I’m not feeling it, I don’t reach out again, but leave on a positive note. Not a good fit- nothing to take personal, move along! I’ve meet some real in…

It is frustrating to be ghosted, like FR I rather hear from someone that simply says "hey, nothing against you you're a great person but I'm just not feeling it, I wish you the best" type of message a…

>>I have tried breaking up with her early in the relationship but she insists that "I don't know her" and to give it time, which is why we're still seeing each other. No. You’re not feeling it. Don’t…

Real talk - I can’t do dinner. I have anxiety eating in front of someone I don’t know. However, I have always had a pretty good idea about whether or not there is chemistry before I meet someone. I do…

If you’re not feeling it just text after to say thanks for the date but you’re not vibing

Yeah, it’s immature and inconsiderate all around. People should communicate if they’re not feeling it - just say it early. No harm done.

Bit off more than I can chew. After our third date we both got bad colds that had us out of the social scene for at least a good 10 days. He’s not a big texter/caller but was making sure to check in…

For me its like I am aware im in a dream and my body is in bed but I am not feeling it. Its the difference of knowing something intellectually that you read in a book and knowing something from experi…

Just need to vent, sorry to post twice in one day..... I'm about to get my period and trying to have perspective but I'm just not feeling it today. I have the kind of schedule/commitments where peop…

It's really hard not to feel pessimistic at times. But if you want a relationship you have no choice but to keep trying! I also felt like dating wasn't working out for me and I had some really bad and…