worried

Bed bound as a young adult in diff country - mom not connecting at all with me — Hey guys so I learned about emotional intelligence/neglect fairly recently. I'm a young adult and sadly become very sick after moving from my home country to be with my partner. My dad is a covert na…

I got ghosted and I feel blindsided — I (26F) met a guy (26M) 3 months ago who was in every sense of the word my dream guy. We spent 1 week together before he left back to his country. Ever since we have Facetimed every single day, and we…

How to get companies to even VIEW my portfolio. — I have 6 years experience as a UX/UI designer, 2 of those years were at an agency and the most recent 4 are at a pretty big company. I have recently been applying to jobs with my most recent work and …

My co-founder decided to quit: I'm stuck and could really use some advice | I will not promote — Hey All, A few months ago, I shared my story here (original Reddit post in comments) about starting an IT consultancy business in the Netherlands with a friend right after graduation. At that time, w…

Google Search Console issue — I’m seeing thousands of 404s, soft 404s, and 'Crawled - currently not indexed' pages in GSC. These URLs don’t exist on our site anymore — they’re from a previous owner and don’t even match our niche o…

I got my first devops position — I'm really happy about this but I don't have a lot of experience. I'm Actually straight out of college. I studied what kubernetes and docker was and even went to linenode to create a kubernetes cluste…

My uncle owns the factory, what value should I put for customs — My uncle owns a factory and sells textile garments to me in the US for nearly free. So far I putted very low numbers like 0.25$/tshirts and paid the duties there. In practice the real price is either…

Manager vs. IC when recruiting soon? — Hi all! I have the opportunity and flexibility at my job right now to move up into a managerial role, and I get a lot of freedom in deciding what it looks like. E.g. I could oversee and manage designe…

Do any of you find that search ads work better for your store than shopping? — I just launched Google ads April 29. My shopping ads are getting lots of impressions but few clicks. Like 3.5k daily to 6-10 clicks with a budget of $15 and not spending it all. My search ads at $10 a…

advise on how to promote a social feed app to specific communities (i will not promote) — hi Folks, Over the years, I have been toying with code and platforms etc. and recently I had sometime and with the help of copilot + and external help I have been able to create a very low cost, scale…

How do you manage offshore dev teams without miscommunication? — (Asking for a friend) My best friend is thinking of hiring offshore devs but worried about time zones and miscommunication issues. If you’ve pulled it off successfully, how did you keep everyone on t…

Wordpress Staging vs. LocalWP for website redesign — Hey everyone, I’m working on a full redesign and cleanup of an existing WordPress website, and I want to make sure the development process doesn’t hurt the site’s current SEO at all — both during deve…

Am I insane for wanting to open a brick and mortar comic/collectibles shop in this climate? — I've been reading this sub for a while now as I mentally hype myself up to take the plunge and quick my 9-5 to open my own comic and collectibles shop. I've been in the gaming industry for over a dec…

In an avoidant-anxious friendship, how much space should I be giving before I reach out? — The last 2 posts on the sub are about friendship and that encouraged me to post here as well. This is my friend of 5 years. We’ve gone from talking almost everyday to me being given the silent treat…

Pouncemonial: 9th Kill - 30 Successful Trades — **Mission**: To accomplish 30 successful trades **What I achieved**: Accomplished 30 successful trades and learned how to execute and manage trades well. **Background**: With the previous kill, …

This is what happens when your FA ex comes back — This is my personal experience for those who are curious. Of course everyone will be different but I thought it might help those who are waiting or wishing (APs I'm talking mostly to you) Firstly the…

I (re)earned my secure attachment this week. What a journey this has been. — I just wanted to share this diary dump with anyone who wants a success story. I believed myself to be FA/A for a long time, and this week I can finally call myself secure. TW: sexual assualt Despite …

What would one call this attachment style? — I feel as tho I'm a pretty particular mix, cause I'm not exactly healthy, but the other labels don't exactly resonate either. I suppose it roots from two main things. One, I was bullied and ostracized…

Finding proof that you were right to be anxious — I'm sure others can relate to this, but whenever I start dating someone, I look for signs that they don't actually like me. Things like "he took hours to text back" or "he was a little quieter than us…

how to deal with an avoidant's freeze response in hard times? — my partner is FA, I've known him for a long time. He has made a lot of effort and has changed for the better. He's the more secure one between the two of us honestly, and he's pretty good at fighting …

For having struggled with an anxious attachment in an earlier relationship, how does it feel for you to become more secure in a much different or more compatible relationship you are in now? — I am quite curious to hear if there are others who are at a place in their life still in their own "wound care" (healing) of being outside of an anxiously attached situation or of a previous unhealthy…

So tired of constantly feeling anxious and worried — I’ve suffered with AA for a few years now. I’m just so tired of constantly worrying that he will find somebody better than me or that he will no longer want me .. before we got married I thought thi…

Did I make my Avoidance worse by pushing through it? — Hi all, I’ve been aware I have issues with commitment/avoidance my entire conscious life, but despite it I’ve always wanted to find love I didn’t meet my first boyfriend until I was 22, and it was l…

Dismissive - Anxious dynamic catch 22, how could we make it work? — I'm having issues with a relationship that's really important to me. It's someone who I dated last year for 6 months. We have very intense and wonderful attraction and connection in a way that is rare…

I'm so tired of people. — For reference, a couple of years ago, I was in an abusive relationship that kinda changed who I am. I won't go into too much detail, but let's just say that I used to be outgoing and fun, but also I h…

Is this an emotional affair? — I (36F, single), have a good guy friend (40M) who has been dating a new woman for 2 ish months now. Full disclosure I don’t like her very much and I think they’re moving super fast (already saying I …

Avoidant wins! 🎉🎊 — Meant to put this in thr weekly vent but it's kind of late now. It's amazing what consistency of safety can do to your nervous system. So the main reason I have no real friends is because I fear the e…

One month of Neville’s teachings and I finally feel at peace about money — I’ve been in this community for about a month now mostly reading, learning, and celebrating everyone’s wins. I have to say, it’s been a real game changer for me. I’ve always been someone who worried …

DDay - 2/19/2026 - Online Emotional Affair Led to Full Blown Infidelity — I found out my wife was going on “solo” concert trips, but was also using them as a way to vacation with a guy she had been talking to online for years. Seventeen years together and seven years marri…

I have done absolutely horrible things. I might be the worst human being to ever live. — 20M. This might be the longest post you'll ever read. I believe I have OCD and do nothing but ruminate 24/7 about my past. I have been in isolation for the last 3 years. It started as a fear of adult…

How do I beat decision paralysis? — My entire life I've struggled with making decisions, whether it's choosing what food to buy at the shop, which route to take on a trip, or more important things like what job to take, or what I should…

Am I meditating improperly? — So I've heard from Dr. K of HealthyGamerGG that when your attention wanders from your meditation and you bring it back, that's like doing a pushup for your mind/brain. But only very few times have I d…

Broke up with DA after a year. — Met her a year ago, almost to the day. Things started well, relatively slowly which was nice for a change compared to other situations I have been in around that time. After two months, we became offi…

has teletherapy actually felt “real” for you or does it feel distant compared to in person? — I’ve only ever pictured therapy happening in an office with a couch and awkward water fountain in the waiting room but lately most of my local providers are suggesting teletherapy instead of in person…

I feel like I am probably wasting my potential because of family and not making a decision that I should?! — Today I was just enjoying the day. The weather felt quite warmer than few days ago. Love the spring season! Then I started wondering... Started thinking like how I feel that I am at a stage where i sh…

My (29F) brother (34M) asked me if he ‘still has a sister’ because I’m not excited enough about his baby. How do I fix this? — My (29F) brother (34M) and his girlfriend (31F) are expecting a baby in May. I’m happy for them because I know they really wanted a kid, but I don’t feel particularly excited about becoming an aunt. W…

Times where you introduced a friend to psychedelics for the first time? — Hi I’m just curious if anyone has any stories of introducing psychedelics to a curious friend and what they thought after their first trip. I have plenty of friends and family who have never done them…

My mom called my son’s birthday party “f***ing embarrassing” because she cares more about what people think than celebrating him — **UPDATE:** Thank you to everyone who commented and shared advice. A lot of people suggested going no contact with my mom to protect myself and my son. I understand why people said that, but I want …

I’m so lost and need help — I wouldn’t say I’m new to the world of projection, I’ve known about it for 8 years and been wanting to try it ever since. I bought multiple books on the topic and have read them. Unfortunately all o…

I just used sandpaper and — I'm making a walking stick and I sanded both sides very fast and I felt some wood chipping at the back of my throat so I got a face mask and continued. I'm worried about how my lungs could now be in d…

I did it, I broke no contact. — So I had made a previous post about reaching out to my ex after a month of no contact. I was super hesitant about it and almost didn’t do it because I was worried about the result. But after some hesi…

Block them. That's all I have to say. — So, in July last year I went through this HORRIBLE heartbreak. And when I say it was a really awful breakup, trust me, it was. Almost four years of a strong relationship ended in a 5-minute call. My e…

Spiritual Awakening & Instant Manifestation (wtf???) — So as the title says, wtf? I've been using multiple different ways of manifesting, manifesting with feeling, robotic affirming, and I've realized one thing. Manifesting is an act of creation that …

I achieved my dream… now what? — Hi everyone, I’m in my early 30s and I’m facing a luxury problem I never thought I’d have. I’ve basically achieved what I set out to do, since I was a kid. I have a good education, a well paying job…

Will i get married if i pursue my phd abroad? I'm turning 29 in two months and if I accept my phd offer, it'll start in June. The country im going to has few Indians only. — 28f. Worried and confused.

My partner’s 18-month cough is affecting our relationship but she refuses to discuss it — Edit: I’ve received a lot of sound medical advice on this post for now so thank you. Post nasal drip, asthma, vocal tics, allergies, acid reflux, cancer symptoms etc etc are all things we’ll keep an e…

Me (32F) leaving my husband (39M), MIL (70F) became distant. How do I approach her? — I (32F) recently made the decision to separate from my husband (39M) of 9 years after a long period of ongoing marital issues. Now that it’s clear that the separation is actually happening, things hav…

32 years of marriage, but I'm still unsettled by an affair from 2006. Is it too late to ask for the truth? — I’ve been married for 32 years now, but there is a something from 2006 that I’ve never been able to move past. Back then, my daughters were 11 and 10. We were leaving my parents' house after a weekend…

I hate my best friends boyfriend and I feel miserable — This is a small rant, but I just need to write it out to a bunch of strangers. Basically, my friend (21F) met her boyfriend (26M) a few months ago. They seemed to click almost instantly, which isn’t a…

Boyfriend of 3 years keeps storming out during every disagreement - feeling lost — I'm a 28F and my boyfriend is 30M. We've been dating for about three years now and I'm starting to wonder if this pattern we're stuck in is ever going to change. The main issue is that whenever we…

The "Manosphere" — Last night my wife and I watched the new Netflix documentary on the Manosphere. It was entertaining and informative, but also quite sad. My first reaction, honestly, was that with the exception of th…

This was a helpful read, especially the confronting bit. I'm worried I'm told I need to confront my parents but I don't want to.

Any mentors out there willing to chat? I'm worried I'm digging myself into a hole working with a custom on-prem cloud solution. Anyone willing to chat, I'd be extremely grateful.

At first there are signs, then with practice you just know. The signs vary from person to person can occur during a session and not occur during the next. So the only way to know is to do your researc…

Do you feel like its much harder to start healing while in a relationship as opposed to being out of it? Diving into a serious relationship very fast, I realized I have a lot of issues with avoidance…

When you shame them for becoming distant, or misconstrue that distance as them hating you. Being too emotionally overbearing, *without explanation*. Being narcissistic or abusive, which is a given. Re…

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strange\_situation](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strange_situation) You can have a look hear, especially regarding Disorganized. "Ainsworth put in print her blessing…

Our service involves deploying databases, and a full stack in something like 80+ different regions around the world. For us, we never wanted to deploy to more than one region a day unless we absolutel…

It’s a team sport for sure. But you’re right, it doesn’t mean everybody has to be a part owner to equal degrees. But I think a lot of “solo” founders use it as an excuse not to learn to work with ot…

One thing I am worried about when it comes to the Secondary Contour installation approach, are the CRDs. They are global, and once updated to the new version, the old version will most likely break. S…

I hear you and I can see that your comment is grounded in past experiences. Fair enough. The only reason I chose to pursue this was because I had new found knowledge. This was the first time I've date…

What bothers me the most is how OP's relationship progress is being dismissed. It doesn't seem to be enough that they reached a functional state and OP is happy at the moment, getting his needs met. …

I mean its not really a secure question.. You basically check for behaviour, anything that is suspicious like coming on too strong at the beginning, and past stories like a girl told me she has someti…

I know, I’m worried they would pressure me to take medication for some reason though and not let it rest. I guess it might be an irrational fear. Thanks

That last part is what happens with my partner. It hurts so much that she feels me trigger a core wound. She will retreat for a few days, usually 4 or 5 and then come back when she's regulated. She …

This picture was taken in Marseille, where my ex and I had our first (unforgettable) date a couple of months ago. We were walking around the city at night, so in love. It felt like we were perfect for…

On our date I was getting the vibe she was nervous around me and our goals seemed to line up. Also not really threatened by the friend. It seemed like he has poor Soical skill I was more worried abou…

Like the things i was worried about my parents, my spouse, my children - they don't really bother me anymore. I am not worried that i will be abandoned, i know i am loved. I know i don't need to shut …

They might have been more hurt that when they didn’t come in, you didn’t call to check on them, after they called to check on you when you were sick? So - I would think maybe it would be good to apol…

No offense taken. I have actually realized this and said that to her when I apologized. >I was worried for you since you’re my friend but I’ve overstepped my boundaries and work is still work. I’m…

Like I said in my reply to the above comment, I realized I blurred the lines between friendship and coworker. I’ve said this as well when I apologized to her. I’m not saying this as an excuse but she …

Well, but that is indeed the thing: you cannot have a healthy fulfilling relationship without becoming secure! Not as a DA/FA and not as an AA. Extreme anxious will either push away even a secure pers…

The girl I’m dating right now has no expectations and understands we’re open. We’re still getting to know each other it was easy talking to her at first, but now I feel like I'm being performative whe…

Thank you for sharing this. I'm happy you're learning and improving.  I messed up and have too much space. Because he was used to me being the one to reach out and instigate and start the conversation…

Its not up to you to navigate someone else's mind.  If you want to be secure, you have to show up as your best self.  If that brings out the worst in someone then you should be thankful and move o…

Age will help. I’m 40 now and in a new relationship and see and feel myself doing things so much differently than my last one(s) just because I’m more self-aware. I’m also less petty and more apt to f…

Thank you for your comments. Can I ask you: you say “she misses you even now…” as if she is still hung up on him? Is this a situation you’re in? Is this a common FA characteristic? I’ve heard of the…

So me and guy are talking, been about a week. He asked to be exclusive with talking and I said yes because I don’t usually talk to many people at the same time so he would be the only one I would be t…

Thank you so much for this detailed reply. It honestly feels like you are in my brain because every single thing you brought up is just so accurate. I truly feel heard and seen, so thank you. Just rea…

I think my boyfriend (33M) and I (30F) might break up and I can’t tell if it’s my fault. This might be a long story so I’m sorry in advance. My boyfriend and I usually text most of the day, every day…

Hey - you’re definitely not alone here. A big part of anxious attachment truly comes down to the fear that abandonment is always lurking around the corner. Making mistakes or getting into difficult mo…

Also - hyper vigilance is sooo common. Constantly scanning for signs that they’re going to leave. I think it’s helpful to try to pause and turn inward in those moments and talk to yourself as you take…

Aw I’m sorry. I think it’s totally appropriate for you to reach out and say you are worried you haven’t heard from him

28M and I’ve dated a decent number of women over the last 10 years. I’ve noticed a pattern that always seems to repeat itself. When I meet someone I’m attracted to but not *that* into at first, I sta…

My (anxious) gf (avoidant) went out and basically refused to tell me where she’s going today. I told her to have a nice day because I was worried she’d find me clingy. But it’s been 8 hours and I’m st…

Text of original post by u/rkuchiki123: I'm sure others can relate to this, but whenever I start dating someone, I look for signs that they don't actually like me. Things like "he took hours to text b…

I struggled with the same issue, and what helped is to realize that not everything is personal. I think that's a part of anxious attachment (or at the very least, something that worsens it): making na…

My relationship is still less than a year old and is long distance. I love my girlfriend very much and I know she loves me and she has put up with various of my problems and supported me and has been …

I think it’s understandable that in the moment, you might have felt helpless and upset because you were in pain. Now that you’re no longer in pain, do you think you communicated effectively? It does …

I just expected him to have any initiative or take action. I'm 100% that person who'd risk being overbearing because when I do see or hear about someone I care about having health issues, I get very p…

Yes I would! If he asked me anything or imposed anything that was for my sake, I would just go with it at that point and then appreciate it. Reposting ny answer to someone else: I just expected him…

So secure people are more likely to stay than leave ? I'm ap and I'm worried I'll keep having broken relationships

Well I think this is where you need to do more work. Some questions to ponder: Did your parents take their anger out on you? Whether it was verbal, emotional or physical? What do you think it mean…

Yes, mostly mum took out her anger on me (dad could also get angry but for an actual reason). It was mostly emotional, verbal. I’m not worried about my safety compared to when I was a child, but I’m…

i think you're getting triggered by these times when your primary attachment figure is hurt/not caring for themselves more for a couple reasons. for 1, it is genuinely concerning, and can be a red fl…

I think that's spot on. I have a pretty low threshold for getting upset and anxious. When I hurt myself, I get very worried that my injury won't get better. And when I have a stressful thing coming up…

Most employees don't want to spend leisure time with their boss. You can not be their friend and their boss. One line or another will be crossed. Stop trying to be friends with the people under you. …

Going to therapy is a great step, but therapy doesn't work unless you do. Consistent and considerate effort has to be put in in order to undo the habits we've formed and her giving into the habits (pu…

My (27F) bf (27M) broke up with me after 5 months tgt because I might have anxious attachment. How am I feeling: Feels like hell and torture. Shaking. Spiraling. No appetite/havent eaten for a coup…

Thanks for your response! I see where you're coming from, but I don't think she's being cruel, I think the thought is just somehow stressful for her. I don't really need therapy for myself either, I'…

The guideline I have always heard is if you are worried you might have NPD, you definitely don’t. As far as narcissistic traits, you are correct, everyone has some of them, it’s just a matter of how s…