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r/StoicismUpdated 30 days ago
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Citations (73)

How to deal with unhealthy attachment?

One of the central ideas in Stoicism is that we should examine the assumptions and judgments we make about people and things. (If you want to read more about the theory behind this, there's lots in th…

r/Stoicismcomment4/5/2026
Think of the comments as inverted Uber ratings. (click to find out what this means)

Think of the comments as inverted Uber ratings. (click to find out what this means) — I last posted a variation of this a little over 5 years ago. We're a little overdue for a repost. --- You know how every Uber rating is right on the verge of 5 stars unless something's particularly …

r/relationship_advicepost6/10/2024
Changing or staying? Product Designer

Changing or staying? Product Designer — Hello. I’ve barely been a junior product designer for a year before I was laid off and threatened by AI. Same telltale as everyone in design/IT industries. I’ve been unemployed for 2 months now, and …

r/UXDesignpost5/2/2025
Need website feedback again.

Need website feedback again. — This is v3 of my site. Now that this is my full time gig I wanted to make this more robust: https://hybridinbound.ai The past versions I received really good advice, so thank you in advance!

r/smallbusinesspost5/7/2025
Ending a 1-year relationship: Self sabotage or gut instinct?

Ending a 1-year relationship: Self sabotage or gut instinct? — Edited: this blew up more than I ever expected. Grateful for all the good advice ✌🏻

r/datingoverthirtypost2/4/2026
UPDATE: My (32f) fiancé (28m) repeatedly does not clean the house

UPDATE: My (32f) fiancé (28m) repeatedly does not clean the house — Hello lovely reddit. First relevant links. My first post I deleted (so you can peruse the comments if you are interested): [https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/18yjl0g/my\_32f\_fianc%C3%…

r/relationshipspost3/12/2026
Related advice from Alan Watts

Related advice from Alan Watts — In this short talk, I learned a lot. Mainly regarding one of my frustrations with trying to " achieve focus 12" he discusses how meditation is not meant to be goal driven. He relates it to music when …

r/gatewaytapespost3/12/2026
Finally sober, but I bedrot every day and can't do anything... need help

Finally sober, but I bedrot every day and can't do anything... need help — Hey all, 31F with ADHD and struggling to get out of bed lately. It takes so much energy just to survive. To eat. To go to work. I used to be a drunk, and I drank all of my 20s away. I was an ugly drun…

r/DecidingToBeBetterpost3/12/2026
More insight into my Gemini Saturn in the 12th. How can I balance it? 23F

More insight into my Gemini Saturn in the 12th. How can I balance it? 23F — I’ve recently gotten some good advice regarding my chart and 12h stellium. I’m someone who has struggled with isolation, stagnation, and substance abuse (heavily, but easing up recently) and I’m tryin…

r/AskAstrologerspost3/13/2026
Sunken Cost Fallacy

Sunken Cost Fallacy — Married for almost 27 years. Got married at the ripe age of 19. Funny thing, I thought it was a mistake on my wedding night when he got out of bed to jack off because I was so exhausted from the long …

r/Divorcepost3/15/2026
My (19F) Boyfriend (18M) Called Me His Managers Name During Sex

My (19F) Boyfriend (18M) Called Me His Managers Name During Sex — UPDATE: wow I really did not expect this post the get the traction it did. thank you guys so much for the kindness you have shown and a lot of you guys gave some really good advice. the first thing I'…

r/relationship_advicepost3/15/2026
Can anyone provide some insight?

Can anyone provide some insight? — I (45F) recently met a 47M online. He told me early on that he had just gotten out of a 10-year relationship about 7 months ago and wasn’t necessarily looking to jump into anything serious, but was op…

r/datingoverfortypost3/22/2026
UPDATE: My (23F) Boyfriend (24M) got really jacked and now I’m no longer attracted to him

UPDATE: My (23F) Boyfriend (24M) got really jacked and now I’m no longer attracted to him — Hi, I really don’t feel obligated to update but I felt it was a little important due to the amount of attention my post got. Before doing so though I wanted to address everything systematically, so sc…

r/relationship_advicepost3/30/2026
Went on my first date in 16 years and I have ALOT of questions!

Went on my first date in 16 years and I have ALOT of questions! — so I met this very beautiful woman on Facebook dating. something that I have not taken too serious in the past. I have to say, the attention and validation feelt nice. Especially after escaping an emo…

r/datingoverfortypost4/1/2026
Used ai for 7 days to help with my overthinking problems before stopping, not sure if i wanted to stop?

Used ai for 7 days to help with my overthinking problems before stopping, not sure if i wanted to stop? — Question: should i stop using ChatGPT if it helps me regulate my emotions and thoughts? im worried about ai psychosis at most and how it will effect me in a long term Im a very anxious person and i t…

r/DecidingToBeBetterpost4/5/2026
How to not hurt someone u love (21M) (22F)

How to not hurt someone u love (21M) (22F) — **Hi gng, i have been repeatedly hurting the girl i love so much i don't really know my actions causes that much damage to her i have been repeating it several times unknowingly she forgives me but i …

r/relationshipspost4/6/2026
She wanted to end things even though everything was great

She wanted to end things even though everything was great — So this girl I have been seeing for these past 7 months recently ended things with me and I don’t want her to leave me. For context, nothing bad really happened between us, everything was great and we…

r/ExNoContactpost4/8/2026
Suicidal in an abusive family (what to do)

Suicidal in an abusive family (what to do) — (This is really long and I tried to include as much as I can, it’s also rushed so this isn’t the fully story.) I’m also not really sure which community this was supposed to go in but since this mainl…

r/CPTSDpost4/8/2026
Healing adoption trauma and what came with

Healing adoption trauma and what came with — Hello, I was adopted at the young age of 4-5 from Eastern Europe. Long story short I was a very high functioning kid, overachiever etc. It just now, as im in my 20’s, clicked for my mom that I was an…

r/DecidingToBeBetterpost4/9/2026
Blocked by Girlfriend on the Spectrum

Blocked by Girlfriend on the Spectrum — # I (31m) was blocked by my autistic avoidant ex (32f) while we were in our friend down-phase after the break up. We were both apart at our own‘s parents when this happened. I was the one suggesti…

r/ExNoContactpost4/9/2026
Starting chores starting starting starting

Starting chores starting starting starting — Yes I have adhd/depression/anxiety/autism/ptsd/ocd. Yes I have ADHD. Work 12pm-8pm most days. Most days go like this. Wake up around 8-9. Try to get out of bed. Too tired so lie in bed dicking aro…

r/DecidingToBeBetterpost4/10/2026
long-term relationship suddenly feels cold and distant, has anyone been through this?

long-term relationship suddenly feels cold and distant, has anyone been through this? — This is honestly one of the hardest things I’ve had to write, but I don’t know what to do anymore and I need real advice. I’m 23M, she’s 23F, and we’ve been together since sophomore year of high scho…

r/relationshipspost4/12/2026
Sleep and coping with nights.

Sleep and coping with nights. — Night time is the worst. I lay awake for hours with thoughts chasing each other through my head. Can’t stop going over everything. If I don’t take sleeping tablets I don’t sleep. If I do take sleeping…

r/survivinginfidelitypost4/12/2026
The NO BS Guide on Winning Your Ex Back!

Yeah, this is not true and not really good advice. In fact, it’s mental bullshit that feeds the ego of a person. People are bitter and want their ex to feel bad and regretful because it makes them fee…

r/ExNoContactcomment5/14/2022
Think of the comments as inverted Uber ratings. (click to find out what this means)

There is no hard yes and hard no. You can't trust strangers on the internet for good advice or conversely to be wrong. If you're reading comments or posts and wondering if a person is also here and wr…

r/relationship_advicecomment7/20/2024
Why do people in LOA communities ALWAYS go to Reddit for their problems when JM advised against that?

The advice to not discuss negative aspects of your personal relationships with others is good advice. It is also good advice to not jump on the bandwagon against someone else's SO because when they re…

r/JosephMurphycomment5/6/2025
FA trying to be more secure, need some insigh on relationship to have "fresh eyes" on it and not just my insecure one

Thank you so much for your answer! So, so much good advice. ''it's really strange, but I can actually feel when I flip from anxious to avoidant.''-- I just wanted to share with you: I too can tell …

r/attachment_theorycomment5/9/2025
It’s frustrating how often I run into women with Avoidant tendencies.

I don’t have. I can do with the advice what I please some of it is good advice some of it is trash

r/attachment_theorycomment6/16/2025
Feeling smothered by an AP friend…

OK, I'm clearly not capable of giving any good advice. Sorry ... didn't know that would translate to platonic relationships.

r/attachment_theorycomment7/7/2025
Anyone Else Feel Relationships just Aren't for them?

I think there’s some good advice in this thread, but just adding this bc I didn’t see it mentioned in your post or other comments—work on platonic relationships! I know it can be difficult to make fri…

r/attachment_theorycomment7/24/2025
Bi-Weekly Thread - Advice for Relationship/Friendship/Dating/Breakup

I think this is meant for someone else but it got put on the general thread. Please make sure you are replying to the person’s comment and not the post in general. Don’t want your good advice being lo…

r/AnxiousAttachmentcomment9/22/2025
I posted a while ago about being Fearful Avoidant and, since so many people reached out about how to overcome that style, I've decided to compile a sort of list of things that are helping me become more secure

I saved this post. I'm AP struggling with believing I am worthy of love, and your post is a cornucopia of fabulously good advice and guidelines. Thank you a hundred times, OP

r/attachment_theorycomment10/4/2025
Working on becoming secure has made me more susceptible to toxic relationships

No advice just a fellow FA going through the same thing. Hoping someone here has some good advice and wishing you good luck on the journey.

r/attachment_theorycomment10/27/2025
How do i stop the cycle of freaking out when im away from my partner?

okay the first statement is factually not true but i see what you’re getting at haha. i think this is good advice for the most part, just remember that this is a huge mindset shift and it’s not going …

r/AnxiousAttachmentcomment11/20/2025
How do you know what’s secure and what’s not in a partner?

I can only tell you from my own perspective and my own personal experiences. I've often felt like I was too much, that I need to be patient with my partner, that when I want to ask for more, be it in…

r/AnxiousAttachmentcomment12/18/2025
how to be "chill" in early stages of dating?

Usually worrying about saying the wrong thing, speaking in future tense ways as well. Almost like the other person is talking to you like we're already in a relationship even though it's still early …

r/AnxiousAttachmentcomment1/30/2026
Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here!

Good advice u/WhyBothaa \- thank you. I think possibly trying to bottle it in more and more and not accept the hurt has been making it permeate a bit more. Also, I clearly have some attachment issues.

r/datingoverthirtycomment2/4/2026
Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here!

Hey, 34M here. I'd say I'm a 5/10. I've had some mild success when I was younger, but now I've been alone for a while. I refuse to use dating apps because they send me on a downward spiral of feeling …

r/datingoverthirtycomment2/6/2026
Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here!

"If you can't tell if a girl likes you, she doesn't." Is this good advice for men?

r/datingoverthirtycomment2/6/2026
Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here!

I'm with ya. I'm just not attracted to very many people - in the last five years, I think I've been attracted to one person, which led to a three-year on/off "relationship." Partly because we weren't …

r/datingoverthirtycomment2/7/2026
Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here!

Really good advice in my opinion! I would feel really frustrated too and that is because I need my partner to want to engage with me. If he doesn't then I feel sad and lonely. Simple as that!

r/datingoverthirtycomment2/8/2026
Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here!

I totally get what you’re saying. Our first “video date” was actually roughly a week after we matched, and it was obvious she was making an effort to talk as soon as possible. She just had a crazy wor…

r/datingoverthirtycomment2/9/2026
Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here!

This is good advice. But also I don't think I'm feeling it. Like if I asked her out and she said no or ghosted I wouldn't even feel upset. Maybe I'm just zen at this point with dating Another thing …

r/datingoverthirtycomment2/16/2026
Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here!

there have been few times in my life when Madonna or a Madonna remix has not put a little pep in my step. Good advice, though I'm surprised you didn't recommend scotch :)

r/datingoverthirtycomment2/17/2026
r/datingoverthirtycomment2/19/2026
Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here!

Thank you I appreciate that feedback. You are absolutely spot on. I have literally never taken a selfie until 4-5 months ago in my 32 years of life. I am awkward with photos, maybe just a little akwar…

r/datingoverthirtycomment2/19/2026
Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here!

Thank you! I've been told that before about the selfie - good advice. I lack photos in general, and I've been trying to focus on that more and take more. I just took my first selfie 4-5 months ago, so…

r/datingoverthirtycomment2/19/2026
Took the stock advice and joined social activities to meet people. Here are my results.

I agree. I have met way more potential partners through dating apps than I have ever met through any in-person venue. I am outgoing, reasonably attractive and I make friends incredibly easily. But mos…

r/datingoverthirtycomment2/22/2026
Took the stock advice and joined social activities to meet people. Here are my results.

I don't think "I tried two things and wasn't immediately successful" is really solid evidence that it's not good advice, and I also think it kind of misses the point of the advice, which is to deprior…

r/datingoverthirtycomment2/22/2026
Took the stock advice and joined social activities to meet people. Here are my results.

Yeah, I get that OP's attempt at following this advice is a little disingenuous, and while I really do think joining social events that you enjoy is a great idea, I wonder how many people actually met…

r/datingoverthirtycomment2/22/2026
Took the stock advice and joined social activities to meet people. Here are my results.

>But while I really really like the advice of going out and trying new things and finding things you like to do and meeting new people, I'm not sure it's necessarily good advice for finding a new part…

r/datingoverthirtycomment2/23/2026
Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! - February 23, 2026

She grew up here and knows more about the area than I do 🤣But good advice!

r/datingoverthirtycomment2/24/2026
Getting over approach anxiety

yeah I'm gonna have to steal that too lol. expecting nothing out of it is good advice. Takes the pressure off. because knowing we were interested in each other put some weight on the situation for…

r/datingoverthirtycomment2/24/2026
How honest are securely attached people?

I've been practicing Radical Honesty (the branded modality you can learn from books & workshops) for a couple years now and it's been the #1 thing that's helped me. It's not "brutal honesty" or whatev…

r/attachment_theorycomment3/3/2026
Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! - March 04, 2026

> My point is tons of people out there both men and women seemingly have so many people finding them attractive How does it benefit you to dwell on this, though? This is like if I spent all my time c…

r/datingoverthirtycomment3/4/2026
The Cheat Code to the Universe

Hey, I am an Epstein girl to a different elite. I was sold to him when I was 11 by my grandfather. This is not good advice. They spiritually use people in ways that you cannot fathom when you “re…

r/Meditationcomment3/8/2026
F**CKKKKKKKKK

I’d swear this was him because of the contents, but I know it’s not because of the style/texting format. First; UNHEALTHY does not equal toxic. Second; unhealthy does not equal you have no reason to…

r/BreakUpscomment3/8/2026
Did anyone else use chatgpt during the end of the relationship because they were desperate for answers ?? 😭😭😭

So I’ll be honest with you - it’s a great tool when used properly. It’s pretty widely recognized at this point that chatgpt is highly reaffirming and will only counter your viewpoints very softly unl…

r/BreakUpscomment3/8/2026
Aliens during 1 month patterning

Pleasant-Violinist99 has good advice. If you want more info on the various alien races, check out David McCready’s book ”Real Alien Worlds: A Brief Encyclopaedia: First Edition: Complete Volumes 1 - 7…

r/gatewaytapescomment3/8/2026
Stuck In My Head After Affair

A user on here, I believe it's u/Soggy-Beach-1495 has good advice regarding this: if she can't prove they didn't have sex or escalate, assume the worst. So assume they had sex; assume she said "I love…

r/survivinginfidelitycomment3/8/2026
Stuck In My Head After Affair

There's a user on here, I forget who - starts with a W - that gives good advice when you discover the affair: do not tell anyone. Do not confront. Investigate secretly as much as you can - hire a PI i…

r/survivinginfidelitycomment3/8/2026
Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! - March 08, 2026

1. That's the trick - you don't *have* to be on a date to practice reading indicators of comfort IRL. I social dance and there's endless opportunities to practice reading indicators of comfort. For …

r/datingoverthirtycomment3/8/2026
I’m the problem.

That is good advice...and would heal marriages and save kids...adding God to your life will help give you the conviction to stay truthful to your vows ...and control your emotions...It would break eve…

r/Divorcecomment3/9/2026
People whose parents only seemed to notice you when you achieved something and didn’t really accept you as you were — did you end up loving yourself once you reached real undeniable success?

Don't really have any good advice of my own, but I relate and it's probably a big contributor to the burnout I'm going through... 😭 I'm happy to hear there are some people here saying they're doing b…

r/EmotionalNeglectcomment3/9/2026
I miss him.

I feel the same way!! I feel like my nex did truly love me. idk I’m confused cause everyone says a narc isn’t capable of loving anyone. At times I think that’s true but deep down I know he loved me. H…

r/NarcissisticAbusecomment3/10/2026
When did you finally realise, your life would never be ‘normal’?

It's good to yearn for love or companionship and meaning and purpose in life. That means we've climbed Maslow's ladder and are past the rungs for survival and safety. And still looking further upwards…

r/CPTSDcomment3/10/2026
Where to go from here

Thanks everyone, some good advice in there. Going to a lawyer isn't really an issue, we're not married and she has no claim to anything. We've got a complicated home setup in that our house is techn…

r/survivinginfidelitycomment3/10/2026
I (F18) am jealous of my boyfriend (M18) for the gpt chat

You've been given lots of good advice, but I don't see that anybody else has done the math yet: > genius, top 0.0001% in the world A cumulative probability of 0.999999 corresponds to a [z-score of 4…

r/relationship_advicecomment3/10/2026
My (18F) girlfriend told me she is taking 5 days to think over if we should break up. What should I (19M) do?

You have already gotten good advice here, but can I just say that it is absolutely *shitty* of her to do this to you while you are on vacation? If she wanted to break up with you in person/talk to y…

r/relationshipscomment3/11/2026
My husband (29M) and I (29F) have a dead bedroom because he says I dont initiate

Hopefully she's reading all of the really good advice here, like your comment! My husband and I have the same dynamic that OP posted above, it turns me on so much when he just grabs me and needs me …

r/relationship_advicecomment3/11/2026