book
Open the door
Evidence
Citations (72)
Hey there. As you're reading from other comments it is important to not just "Open the door" to any contact, but to set limitations to who may contact you. It seems odd that in such a non-physical e…
AI is creating some crazy new verticals and opportunities — Knot (known for their card-on-file and transaction data APIs) just dropped a preview of something called AgenticShopping It’s an API that lets AI agents — or any app, really — actually complete purch…
Break up + no contact update (post 4 months) — I thought I’d give an update into my healing progress since my breakup, in hopes to shed a little light on the small positives that can come from heartbreak. For context, my ex and I broke up in Octob…
Worth the wait — About 6 years ago, I (34F) hit rock bottom. My life was in shambles after an abusive relationship, so I had no other choice but to go back to live in my mother’s house for a while. At this point, I wa…
i'm so tired of my mother's superstitions — Guys please tell me it gets better. my mother is tamil christian and she's filled with so many superstitions which increases my anxiety and causes me panic. we live in london and she still follows and…
Need some advice — I’m going to be completely transparent - I really want to get out there and open the door to more opportunities in my life, but I’m a bit agoraphobic so I don’t tend to leave my home unless I have to.…
Possible Alien experience? Has anyone experienced this/something similar? — hey guys, i want to know if anyone else has experienced something like this before. and before anyone says sleep paralysis, the reason i’m questioning that is because the person in the room with me ex…
Saw my narc mom for the first time in 2 years. The night ended in tears. I feel like I messed up? — I'm 28, married and have a 4 year old. I cut my narc mom off 2 years ago because she is verbally, emotionally, and financially abusive. She was/is an addict, a habitual liar, and someone who has made …
Sudden reality awareness in dream was not a good experience. — Had sort of layered dream. Within it, I noticed something was not right. Like something was not matching. I was in friend's spare room with my partner then their kid walks in with milk. I spilled …
Thinking about breaking up with my girlfriend again… am I wrong for this? — Hey everyone, I could really use some outside perspective because I feel stuck right now. Please 🙏 I’ve\[22M\] been dating my girlfriend\[24F\] for a little over a year. I met her while finishing up…
My ex fiancé ruined my life and it’s kind of my fault. — This is a long, absolutely insane story. So buckle up. I’m only here as a way to get it out of my head and because of smosh story time on fb. Idk I guess I like other people reading stories. So here’s…
I loved an avoidant — And I abandoned myself. 2023 I moved to a new state. Long story but it was another relationship that took me there that ended after I committed to the move (professional licensing, apt, etc). He chea…
i need help / advice. — This is basically a cry for help and i’m desperate for advice. I am a student in my early twenties living in canada with low income and i live in an extremely abusive household. i want to leave b…
AP would rather break a door than knock — I (20F) usually keep my door lock, when I'm sleeping, changing and sometimes just in between too for privacy and safety, since we have a tenant as well. When my AP wants something from me while I'm i…
Breaking no contact to give back his things — My long-term ex boyfriend and I have been broken up about 3 months now and have not been in contact since. We were together off and on for 5 ish years total. I am slowly getting over it but the breaku…
Can my fiance be a grandiose/covert narc? Is this behaviour normal? I need your opinions idk what to do anymore — Hi, me(25F) and my fiance (27m) of 4 years have been living together since December. He works in the sea industry and I am an accountant for a big firm. This is a long one . Thanks for the read and fo…
Despite everything, it hurts that my dad dislikes me — I (26F) only have my mum and my brother left. Well, i have a huge family with aunts and uncles, but never really had any contact with them. My dad never really liked me growing up. He always preferre…
So my sister assaulted me and I’m the bad guy — Physical assault by my sister My sister is in a field that’s kind of small but very respected and she just graduated and is teaching her peers now her craft. When my family came down for her graduati…
I feel like I, F19 might've messed up my first ever date by giving the guy, M23 a BJ? — For some background I F19 just went on my first ever date with a guy M23 and we had talked all night about basically everything. We hit it off extremely well, he also had two long Island iced teas. (i…
I broke no contact — After 103 days I texted her saying that I’d like to open the door to talking again and she responded 8 hours later saying she was okay with that. I hearted the message and we haven’t spoken since. It‘…
How to get out of the "contract" — I (32f) just got out of the cycle (again, but maybe I'm still in ?). so he (26m) has discarded me about 12 times in the past 2.5 years (the good phase first lasted 2 months and kept getting shorter wi…
Doing things I don’t ask for and then getting mad when I call them out on something else/question why she did it. Huh?? — This is actually so dumb. I will never understand the logic behind this, but then again I suppose logic doesn’t exist where narcissists are concerned. My mom has gotten into baking. Good on her for …
Interesting that you have this experience and your therapist is suggesting that you’re now leaning anxious. I wonder how often this happens with DAs that are becoming secure, such as yourself. In m…
So instead of replying individually and repeating myself, I'm just going to make a comment addressing it all. Firstly, it was interesting to read all these perspectives. I see where some of its comin…
Oh I’m sorry to hear that. I’m going ask you something: Would you be able to be just friends with him? Maybe play partners, maybe just a sexual connection? In fact the question is: would you like and…
Get cameras. Practice safety drills. Have the police on emergency dial. Teach kiddos to not engage and walk away quickly if neighbor try’s to talk to them. Teach them to never open the door for anyo…
I think in general, people ought to move towards being both as honest and self-aware as possible (unless you're dealing with an "evil" person, in which case, be careful with how much honesty you give …
Someone has to initiate the playful conversation, which should open the door to both parties engaging in a more relaxed manner. I’ve failed to help carry conversations when - i’m exhausted from hav…
And depending on how old your kids are, tell them to never throw open the door if someone knocks. Mine started doing that as soon as they were able, because they thought it was such an accomplishment …
Thank you. This means a lot. It has been easy not to engage knowing she is housed and safe. It’s the thought of willingly letting anyone, much less my blood, be in serious need and, despite having…
You might’ve been contacted or noticed by Non-Human Intelligence aka aliens. Gateway tapes and overall meditation is a strong modality to connect with other beings that are hidden from our daily, phys…
I 34 F had a wonderful first date with a guy 40M and he kept in touch with me throughout the week. We planned for a second yesterday (Saturday) to get ice cream. Time wasn't finalized until late Frida…
OP, have you set any boundaries with her? I think that's what this needs to be about. Boundaries help you open the door to others, it's their choice whether they walk thorough the door.
If i was in your place I would just randomly get up and open and close the door. I'd even go far to just open the door and stand there waiting for him to check on you and just deadahh stare at him whe…
This really does seem like a good idea. It gives you more control, too. Also asking honestly frames questions can be powerful. I an still learning this skill after decades! Things like "I am confused,…
"Hey bro, just asking honestly. Do you open the door every time I go take a shit because you have some weird kink about listening to people taking a shit? I mean, if you want a recording, I'll do it, …
Make him work for it! Open that door a hundred times during the evening! Stick your arm out with a paper plate face mask on a popsicle stick to wave around. Tape an ad for trail cameras on his door. T…
Run and never look back. If he ever shows up at your home for any reason, call the police and do not open the door. Your “mother” should be treated just the same. That woman birthed you, but she is …
I understand what you mean, and honestly I would prefer to talk and sort things out too. But I already tried to open the door for a conversation and she decided not to continue. I don’t want to pressu…
I don't disagree with your critiques, including the ones in your reply below, but ultimately KPDH is a movie aimed at kids. You could probably find similar plot holes or questionable themes in any kid…
I think your family looking out for your best interests (or what they perceive as your best interests) is one thing. I think threatening something so severe is totally unreasonable. Realistically, it…
i’m gonna be honest this sounds more like nostalgia than a real reason to reach out. a year later seeing photos and wondering how she’s doing is normal but that doesn’t mean you need to reopen the doo…
Don’t send it. You must give yourself time to heal!! You have to take away that anticipation of her texting and block her. I’m sorry, ik it sounds harsh but until you give yourself time you’re gonna s…
I’m sorry about your father. I hope you’re able to find some stability, peace and support. As for advice: DO NOT tell your girlfriend you have a substantial amount of money. DO NOT tell *anyone* un…
I think this is common but men on dating apps often don’t know what they want till the moment they find the person they want it with. I respect you want to find connection and intimacy but putting the…
Oh my, all these big grown-up people have made choices, no one had a gun to their head. Your relationship with your parents as long legs, and you should do whatever you can to preserve that. Step back…
Not sure earliest. Probably one of these two: 1. Locked in the backyard for being too loud. Glass back door, whole family was just inside, hanging out on the couch, acting like they couldn't hear me …
Me at 25: "Me see boobs...me chase boobs..." Me at 44: "If I open the door for her she might yell at me...but if I don't open the door for her she might yell at me...either way she's going to make fu…
This is actually a really good sign, not a problem. The fact that you’re thinking about how to bring it up in a way that feels safe and not awkward already puts you in a much better place than most p…
My parents did this exact same thing. They also threatened to show the neighbours and would open the door and threaten to call the police and get me taken away or put in a mental hospital as a child. …
I wish this was my ex. I just now realize how much I also did wrong. I’m just taking the time to heal myself and not repeat the same patterns again. I tried to reopen the door after 2 years and he t…
I could be misreading this because I’m not the one in the room so I don’t have all of the information. From what it sounds like here it seems she is just making an observation of what’s going on to op…
I think your read about the deep breaths as co-regulation are definitely right. I also think that she was trying to open the door for me, but in my experience in an ineffective, maybe even counterprod…
I heard something similar about schizophrenia. But my guess is that it's 99, 9% neurological chaos of the mind, hearing voices, seeing enemies in ordinary people and acting on that belief (massive im…
this reminded me of when I went out with my friends and came home a few minutes later than the set time. I was in my twenties too. she locked me outside. thankfully my friends were still outside and…
I think dad liked having doors. One of his signature moves was to throw open the door and coming storming in with a belt while I frantically tried to figure out what I was getting beat for this time. …
What are you doing at hme if you started holidays? Just go somewhere else. No contact. If something happens to her good riddance. If she burst because your absence leave again. It should be that simpl…
As a parentified child of 14, I was made to watch over all the kids during “vacations” so the adults could get drunk and do whatever they wanted. I had already had previous traumas and was hours awa…
Get a door wedge from Home Depot or whatever same kind of shop there is near you, it's just a little triangle thing made of rubber or wood but use it when you're in there and the harder they push to o…
I tend to steer clear of profiles with phrases like that. However, it could be a response to a relationship where her partner made no decisions and left everything up to her. Maybe on your next date …
Predatory people depend on your politeness to get what they want from you. They depend on you being "nice" and not making a scene or standing up for yourself. Don't let them make you a victim. You sto…
Don't forget the basics. Open the door for her. Walk behind her to the table. Pull out the chair at the restaurant. All the basic gentlemen stuff. I admit on my first one I forgot some of it!
Did anybody else get screamed at by their mom growing up for staying up late reading? My room door would be shut and I had a flashlight but she would fling open the door suddenly and yell “I thought I…
My mom would change or take off her clothes in front of me. One time she took off her bra and I turned away, completely grossed out. UNBELIEVABLY, she said, “What? Your mouth was on these.” It …
You shouldn't have deleted the evidence. I would've taken the phone straight to the police (and had the GF corroborate that it was his phone, and that she was a witness to what he did), and filed a re…
Self-awareness is very important and shoutout to you for exercising it. I don’t recommend apologizing to your ex for any reason at all. No matter what your reasoning is for doing it, she’ll most lik…
It tends to break down programming, but won't magically align you to whatever is right. It seems to just open the door. Whatever you choose is up to you. Some go atheist, some go Christian. Some go …
"He slid his phone under the door". Try that IRL. Also the girlfriend of that guy was going there along with the OP, but even to her he didn't open the door? So, how did that end up? Could be true, b…
That word is what this is all about: grief. That comes across very clearly in your story. You have been deeply wounded. It feels so hopeless. Experiencing a loss of something that was never there. Th…
It’s good to cry ! Does your mum know you’ve been down and not feeling great about things lately ? I’m sure she would want to do anything she can to help that, but I also fully understand maybe not w…
Ah, thanks for the tip - I’ll try the wall rather than the door next time. I do seem to have difficulty passing through things in general, which I guess could just be my rational mind not fully accept…
Yeah, her declining would suck, but I’d choose if it would be too hard to handle, in which case it may be worth foregoing. On the other hand, if you continue to constantly think about her, the declin…