reasons

Your dad only stopped stealing when you physically cut off his access to more money. Do you truly think he would have had any incentive to pay you back when he still had access to your acct? He apolog…

I got ghosted and I feel blindsided — I (26F) met a guy (26M) 3 months ago who was in every sense of the word my dream guy. We spent 1 week together before he left back to his country. Ever since we have Facetimed every single day, and we…

Am I crazy? Growing from a single freelancer to an agency with a team — Hi everyone - quick background: I'm a freelance web designer/developer who's been doing this thing now for almost 15 years. I've done it under a studio name, but it's always just been me, with some oc…

How do I get my google sites webpage to appear in google searches? — I have created a personal webpage under google sites. It is: [https://sites.google.com/view/fhcomponent/domov](https://sites.google.com/view/fhcomponent/domov) For some reason it does not show up in…

Cannot stay attracted to dating app matches — I've never been in a relationship but I've been working on myself a lot and trying to put myself out there to find love. And I've just noticed a pattern of mine. But I just keep losing interest or ge…

The soul-crushing reason I may leave UX — You'd think I'd say because I'm over 40, because I'm exhausted by this long unemployment, that I see the the current market and impact of AI clear-eyed, yada yada yada. It's none of those fill-in-the…

Do pages created from external RSS feeds (just headers, not full posts) hurt SEO? — A follow-up question on my SEO issue post from a couple of days ago. First of all, thanks everyone who replied -- this has been very helpful. Without going into all details again, the question was abo…

Freelancers – the only person that can evaluate your pricing is the buyer (not Reddit) — *(TL;DR at bottom)* Questions like this pop up on this subreddit every few weeks: > How much should I charge for a basic website? Or: > Is $500 for a single-page Figma design a good price? ...and…

Anyone else think the new figma UI is terrible? — I've been trying to like it for a couple weeks but man... this UI is terrible for so many reasons. Like.. this floating thing in front of my work is so dumb. Why does it take more clicks to find my as…

We Fired a Developer But Not Because He Was Bad, But Because He Wasn't Right. Only 2 Legit Reasons to Fire Anyone. (i will not promote) — After building a small team and running a startup for a while, We’ve come to a hard conclusion: There are only two legitimate reasons to fire someone. 1. They are not the right fit for the company.…

What was your experience working in a marketing agency? — Hi, for various reasons I’ll move to an area where most of the ux work available comes from marketing agencies. It's a new environment for me so I was looking for your experiences in this regard. I'…

Should I move from Supabase to a self-hosted backend? — I’ve been using **Supabase** for my current app—mainly for Postgres, authentication, and storage. It’s been super convenient for getting started, but I’m starting to think about switching to a **self-…

WooCommerce PayPal Payments Plugin issue — Hey I have a webshop with the Zephyr theme (version 8.35.2) and have installed WooCommerce (version 9.8.3) including some plugins. Now I would like to process my payments via PayPal (also with credi…

I am solofounder and I love it — Sure, it can get a bit lonely sometimes. But there are a lot of upsides! * Fast execution * Total decision power * Absolute creative freedom * No back and forths on colors or small things * You can s…

Have you managed to avoid making your brand into your ego identity? — One of the things I find most distasteful about entrepreneurship is the idea of enmeshing oneself with the brand they are pushing. This is one of the biggest reasons I got out of real estate. Have you…

[Product Survey] Help us understand your auth/DB platform choices (Supabase, Firebase, Auth0, Clerk, and more) — Hi everyone! 👋 I’m a Product Manager working with a developer friend on a new backend-as-a-service solution, and we’d love your feedback. Whether you’ve used Supabase, Firebase, Auth0, Clerk, Authn …

This is what happens when your FA ex comes back — This is my personal experience for those who are curious. Of course everyone will be different but I thought it might help those who are waiting or wishing (APs I'm talking mostly to you) Firstly the…

Help me to recognise my attachment style please! — I (26F) am struggling with this a lot, since my patterns of romantic behavior don’t seem to fit neatly into any of the four categories (AA, FA, DA, SA). On the one hand, I clearly crave intimacy and…

Is this Deactivation? Seeking insights from FAs. Please help me understand this — We're together for 6 months, a lot of push/pull in the beginning, but by the 4th month everything was finally going fine between us. He even called me his girlfriend nd promised to heal and everything…

Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…

READ THIS if you want to POST here — This is a new thread with the SAME GUIDELINES as the previous post which is now archived. THIS THREAD IS ONLY FOR APPROVAL TO POST. You don’t have to be an approved user to comment or lurk. ONLY som…

Is deactivation the real her? — When my FA and I started dating, she said, “I’m afraid you won’t like me when you get to know the real me.” She was sweet, caring, thoughtful, and made a real effort to be part of my life. We were i…

Avoidance seeking help: what if he’s not avoidant like me, but he actually just has a girlfriend he didn’t tell me about? — Been in contact with a guy for about 6 months now who has been pursuing me the entire time, subtly. When we first met, I had just broken up with my ex a couple of months prior to that (6-month long…

Both best friends got engaged — I (27F) have never been in a relationship and struggle to form emotional attachments at all. I've gone on dates and forced myself to keep seeing a guy because he's perfectly nice and there's nothing w…

What qualities to look for in a therapist — Previously, I had been working with a somatic therapist for 6 years (on trauma healing, not specifically attachment related) and a few months ago they closed their practice for personal reasons on *ve…

a song about longing for something that never was - disorganized attachment style edition (cathartic release) — Lyrics: I’m standing at a wishing well, One coin trembling in my hand, A promise pressed against my palm, A truth I barely understand. They told me I was unworthy, Long before I learned my name,…

Deactivation or undisclosed breakup? — I'm a FA woman...in a relationship with a dismissive avoidant....all was good, until past Christmas holidays , his bday and all situations when they deactivated.. he was the one who planned being wit…

Avoidant conversation patterns are confusing me - should I address them? — I’m (secure leaning anxious) getting some confusing conversations patterns from an avoidant friend. And I don’t know if I should address it or just let things continue to play out. Context; we disco…

Looking for advice on how to stop being an avoidant — Hi Everyone, I started dating rather late, at 28, but since then I've been a major avoidant. Every time I find myself getting close to someone, I overthink it, and feel like I can find someone better…

Another real life example of how clear communication can be distorted into a victim narrative. Emotions can rewrite history, too. There are two sides to every story. — Receipts! Slides 1-2: Their version of events Slide 3: only a snippet of all their comments on vent/rant threads and others. Removed by automod for not having a user flair (a clear rule and automod …

Why Manifestation can FEEL Forced and Unrealistic (Success & Guidance) — Today I came upon a realization that many people do not have for most of their lives. It was the realization that our feelings and the meanings that we attach to them are also affirmations. Right no…

does anyone feel a little pain when they see how other parents treat their kids? — i was with my mates at about 8 or 9pm catching up in a cafe. we’re all south asian in the uk (all our parents immigrated and we were born here) and they all go uni and i’m working a corporate job so w…

42M. Do these things basically disqualify me entirely? — I'm 42, Male, home owner almost half way paying off the mortgage, university post-graduate education, full time job in retail middle management that I actually enjoy doing, a bunch of mostly solitary …

Could venus in square aspect to the rising indicate self-esteem issues? — I've always had self-esteem issues, being very insecure about my appearance. Could the fact that my venus is in a square aspect with my rising be one of the reasons?

Dating over forty and living separately — I feel like I do better in relationships where we don't cohabitate. I'm autistic and really like control over my space, living with someone messy can feel very overwhelming. Also, I find that having …

No contact year 6 update: — Hello everyone! I’ve made some update posts in the past and figured I would make one for year 6 as that anniversary is coming up soon, and with context it will make sense why I still specifically reme…

Seinfeld-esque reasons you broke up with someone — Ill start! (42m) I dated a girl during the pandemic who did this annoying sniffing thing, where she had nasal drip and instead of blowing her nose, she would sniff the mucus intermittently. I think I…

My (18F) girlfriend told me she is taking 5 days to think over if we should break up. What should I (19M) do? — TL;DR my girlfriend has reached a breaking point and told me she’ll consider being together but as of now we aren’t. Me and my girlfriend have been together for nearly 2 years and met our senior year…

Cheated on after 10.5 years together, divorced at 11 years together. — Hi Everyone, This is half venting and half hoping for advice or people to listen. I'm at a low point right now so I thought reaching out to a community might be beneficial as opposed to holding it…

I (28F) care deeply about my fiancé (28M) but feel like the romantic connection has faded after years of imbalance. How do you know when it’s truly over? — From a burner account. I’m looking for some perspective because I feel like I’m at the end of a long internal process and I don’t know if I’m being unfair or if this is just the reality of where my re…

Why could I enforce boundaries in the first years of my relationship, but after 7–8 years I couldn’t do it anymore? — I have Codepedency. I am with my abuser for about 14 years (Now very low contact and hoping to completely sever contact once I completely heal and can let go off the unhealthy attachment.) We don't …

No one tells you that you have to KEEP deciding on the divorce — Arriving to this decision was so hard. Once I did, I felt lighter and confident and had Bad Bitch Energy about it. But that's faded a bit as I'm living in the same house with my STBXH, and I feel lik…

I can’t stop thinking about her — I feel like I’m going insane. I cannot stop thinking about my ex girlfriend. It has been 3 1/2 years since our relationship first ended. And after the first breakup(6 months in), I ended up getting ba…

How do I control my anger and my lack of patience in my relationship? — I’ve been with my husband going on a year and a half. He’s a wonderful man and our relationship is overall healthy. But I fear I am becoming emotionally abusive towards him. I’ve been in bad relations…

Manifested a $32K scholarship with accidental SATS!!! — Hi all :) I have a pretty amazing success story that I’d love to share, and I hope it may motivate some of you in your manifestation journeys 😊 Basically, I accidentally manifested a $32,000 scholar…

Advice on how to deal with parent giving ultimatum over my relationship — I'm a 28 year old gay Asian male currently living in an East Asian country for my job, away from my home country and my parents. All my life, I had a great and loving relationship with my parents. I w…

Wife Wants Divorce so She Can Be With Affair Partner — Wife insists we divorce after I caught her having an emotional affair with her coworker. Of course she has all sorts of lies and manufactured reasons why we need to divorce and insists it has nothing …

New Partner Has Never Used Condoms — I (41F) am newly dating a guy (41M) who is recently divorced from his high school sweetheart. Bc he was with the same women since high school, he has never used condoms. I'm the opposite - I've nev…

My peeling vision and what really happened. — For months i felt stuck in life and sat in meditation asking my guides to reveal what is expected of me in this life. All I got every time was a vision of a fruit peeling, losing its skin. What i gath…

The absolute dearth of any kind of help for victims of polyamory under duress — Nobody understands. There is literally nobody to turn to. Since the APA mandated that polyamorous relationships be accepted this has become a topic I cannot bring up anywhere. Nobody wants to talk ab…

Discard/sudden breakup?! — Three months ago months ago I met a woman and had an intense, genuine connection. In under 8 weeks we spent 18-20 days together. She said she cared about me first, unprompted. We made future plans tog…

It just depends on what kind of beings you want to meet. Duality still exists in the Astral. Just like in physical life you can find good and bad teachers. And yes, dimensions above the Astral are gen…

I was neglected from birth till, well, now, and have CPTSD for 28479227392 reasons related to my parents and to other experiences. I don't think focusing on blame is useful. I can't blame my one paren…

I’ve read few posts that are as “loser”-ish as this one. I’ve yet to study either in depth, but for anyone to not only BELIEVE that they are better than a very large group of people (all of whom are v…

I really like the Gene Kim's material, such as the Phoenix Project. I so enjoyed the entertaining story. It is interesting though, careful to navigate misinformation out there. DevOps is about acce…

Because thats not how relationships work. You can’t solely be thinking of whats best for you. If I date someone yet kept myself before them all the time, that relationship would probably not last very…

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way and going through this. It sucks she wouldn’t give therapy a chance. You can’t control others actions and feelings. I hope you can find meaning and joy in your kids …

I can see you deeply care about her and I found it weird that you seem like a overall great dude but she still decided to end it. Have she mentioned the reasons why other than "dad wanted so"? I'm in…

yup. that pain sucks. im day 2, hurting. but i keep giving myself positive self talk and whenever i miss her, i think of all the reasons why i deserved better than her

I'd just tag on that posters pay attention to all advice posted, regardless of the upvotes/downvotes. The hivemind here can be brutal. This is PARTICULARLY problematic when advice gets legal advice …

Not really, but I realized eventually that I no longer needed them. They kept their foot in the door, and I could think of only two reasons they would do that - and neither of them was acceptable. So …

Exactly. This is one of the reasons why all the old exes or random flames pops back up in your life when doing an sp-mission. Old unbeleifs being unraveled as you sit there feeling loved as fuck.

1. That is why it’s called maladaptive daydreaming. The person does so to escape their current reality. They are not making actual changes, thinking different thoughts, reconditioning the subconscious…

The OP to the above crosspost has kindly created a new thread where she states all of her reasons why the LOB does not exist. This argument will now continue there : [https://www.reddit.com/r/Joseph…

exactly, I have strong scientific understanding, so I know all the sort of science reasons are usually bullshit, and fool those with less science background, yet I also have experienced that it works,…

I’ll take a crack at it Point 1: The answer is sm vs cm thought. Daydreaming is not focused with intent, the mind often wonders and you still feel it’s not true in the end or with emotions that are …

Thank you. I will ask the op to insert these links into her other post. They are a good addenda and are a beneficial part of the record. We may make her post a part of our index as well. It is a very…

I’m sorry to hear you had an experience like that. I do think my current relationship is a little more consistent than what you’ve described. We see each other usually at least once a week, more if we…

So pardon the length (I haven't told anyone yet) and thank you for reading. I might have a crush on a good friend ("Steve") who I've reconnected with after a few years of not hanging out. We didn't …

I think taking personal time can come from different motivations. Securely attached people love their own time too, especially if they’re more introverted and have hobbies that require undivided atten…

I've been in therapy for over a year for various reasons, and for me the first thing I needed to work on was my self image. Understanding and accepting myself, building confidence and a stronger sense…

What have you done to resolve your fear of commitment, your emotional unavailability and the inferiority complex? Why are you searching for excitement from a partner? What does that mean to you? Is i…

Why would you post this topic in the attachment theory sub? This is dating 101. I see you’ve been dating for a while now - what’s stopping you from realizing people don’t have to reply back right away…

One of the most powerful things the "and" theory / method does, it stop you from suppressing negative emotions. Feel them. Say them. Write them down. Your brain is programmed to remember the good tim…

>So remember the good times, but, speak the reasons you shouldn’t be back there. You mean “and”! ;)

>Not saying you’re entirely wrong but that wasn’t the point of the ladder experiment. The point of the ladder experiment was to teach about awareness. > Ah. Conscious awareness. Complete rubbish and…

Thanks! Crazy how we are conditioned to think this anxiety and nervousness as genuine attraction and love. I've calmed down since then and getting to know this person with clear mind. Yes, the wrong…

Your post leaves out the important little phrase "feels like", first of all. Secondly... I was left in the dark many times, in veryyy hurtful and disappointing ways. Not once have I felt or had a tho…

Haha didn’t work with mine, he would have been sooooo happy if I just didn’t text… he was such a little scamp. He had an excuse for everything… when it came to missing my call or not texting, the list…

I know this is difficult to do, but my advice, as an anxious who's moving towards secure, would be to stop texting and calling. It's only been a few days and you know that he was having phone problems…

All the nice words he said are just that: words. And excuses. When two people are away and didn't really have much time to really create a strong bond, anything can happen. First, once you saw he's le…

Hi there, i know it's only been a day, but are there any updates? Reading this, i feel a pit in my stomach for you and hope that he's just busy. It's almost like getting the news that someone you love…

I think it comes down to when those comments are brought up. If someone is assessing you this way without a conflict thats really cruel. I feel on reddit it appears only in connection with a breakup …

As a previous DA, I did not feel guilt once I disengaged from someone because I had reasons for not wanting to be with them anymore. Those reasons may be very immature they may not make a lot of sense…

I asked my therapist this question and she said it's not my responsibility to tell him to get therapy. Think about this...you have worked REALLY hard to become securely attached. Don't you think …

I think all these time‐tracking systems in IT are absolutely useless and only justify the work of those who implement them. No offense to efficient managers. If the company were like a factory produc…

There's all sorts of reasons why it might take that long, though I'd echo that 24 hours doesn't seem that long to me considering their scale of operations. Ignoring all of the technical side of thin…

I second OpenTofu over terraform, but do you actually need it? The idea of "if I use terraform I can swap cloud" is probably a YAGNI, and even if you use terraform / OpenTofu, you'll need to re-write…

It’s a team sport for sure. But you’re right, it doesn’t mean everybody has to be a part owner to equal degrees. But I think a lot of “solo” founders use it as an excuse not to learn to work with ot…

I am a solo founder. Yes it is great for all those reasons. I, however, do understand the other side especially VCs. The goal of VCs is to invest in a company that just doesn't depend on 1 person. Usu…

Sorry if this is not the applause you may have expected; but to me a translation of your title is "Turns out DAs are DAs, and we need to bend over backwards to "make it work" with them, and that's ext…

Yes my own experiences, but also if you read comments/posts not just from Reddit, you will find very common themes across the board with relationships with avoidants, the truth is it’s very difficult …

The one time that I noticed a sign and was correct was when they would say that ALL of the people they’ve dated, they just didn’t click with. Just nonchalant, didn’t click with any of them. I just r…

Try not to look at it like this attachment style is selfish while the others are more selfless. We often assume APs are selfless and will sacrifice everything for their partners but reality is that s…

the issue is so many of them say they want commitment/marriage/monogamy/cohabitation  I think the want to want it but they are actually scared of it and will never obtain it for "other reasons" they p…

Well, if you're into them, that's the first sign. It'll be tricky to differentiate between DA and secure for you because they'll both feel like they're moving at a reasonable pace at first, but a DA i…

Yes— multiple reasons I’ve noticed for this: 1. Easy an obvious, needing time away from them is seen as rejection because they don’t want time away from you 2. One of the things with us is that we …

Well, I suggest taking therapy but there is a lot you can do by yourself, if you are conscious enough. A therapist helps you to help yourself. He/She gives great insights, so it's always better having…

Mostly because the information isn't necessarily what the person needs or may even be harmful or untrue. From all accounts people say it "tells them exactly what they need" and doesn't challenge them,…

Attachment issues only appear because of a relational issue at some point in life. It's not innate, you're not born with it (even if people can have certain tendencies) and it only exists in the act o…

I feel for you, I’m in a similar position at the moment. I’m caught up on what was a relatively short lived but very intense connection I shared with a guy late last year. It ended with him ghosting m…