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Thank you for your response and your sympathies. Just a few things to note, I think it’s worth looking at the history of these practices. For centuries, monks have sought out remote caves or engaged i…
Post-quality time cool down? Is this a pattern for DAs? — My (FA) therapist and I (lol) may have noticed a pattern with my partner (DA); after an increased amount of quality time together (compared to our usual 1+ times per week), or increased amount of mess…
Why am I losing keywords? — I'm a bit lost. For the past 6 months I have been working on improving the rank of my website. When I first started, I just left an agency that wasn't doing a great job. When I switch from them, they …
How to handle versioning in Figma? — I joined a project where the figma doesn’t match what is in the field for a mobile application. The project wants to re-baseline the app to what is in the field and keep up to date in the future. F…
Freelancers – the only person that can evaluate your pricing is the buyer (not Reddit) — *(TL;DR at bottom)* Questions like this pop up on this subreddit every few weeks: > How much should I charge for a basic website? Or: > Is $500 for a single-page Figma design a good price? ...and…
Women I’m dating is afraid I’ll lose interest when I learn who she really is. Seeking FA perspective. — I’m ramping up my dating efforts because I’m doing well—both financially and mentally. Things have been going really well with a new woman I’m dating. We shared a nice moment on our last date, and I’m…
I regressed so much this year — This year has been brutal since the beginning. Every single aspect of my life increased my anxiety. Multiple health issues in the family, some of them still ongoing and very serious, financial concern…
Trying to navigate a "casual" relationship — Hi everyone, I (30F, trans) have been talking to/seeing a woman (24F, cis) for about 5 months. The chemistry is legitimately the strongest I’ve ever experienced - emotional, intellectual, creative, s…
I failed to build habits 47 times. Here's what finally worked. — For years I tried to change my life with big plans — gym 5 days a week, strict diet, no screens after 9pm. Every single time I quit within a week. The problem wasn't my discipline. It was that I was …
Manifested a $32K scholarship with accidental SATS!!! — Hi all :) I have a pretty amazing success story that I’d love to share, and I hope it may motivate some of you in your manifestation journeys 😊 Basically, I accidentally manifested a $32,000 scholar…
The "Manosphere" — Last night my wife and I watched the new Netflix documentary on the Manosphere. It was entertaining and informative, but also quite sad. My first reaction, honestly, was that with the exception of th…
I realize Im not allowed to be anything less than above average with this condition. — I dont have a family who watches out for me. I don't have financial privileges. I'm by myself in this mess. Im not accepted regardless of how I am. - Other people will have a social life and people t…
The One Habit that has Completely Transformed My Life — The one habit that has completely transformed my life is journaling. . . I don’t call it that tho. I call it “Morning Imprinting” I spend the first 15-25 mins every morning writing in my journal and …
First Regulate Your Nervous System — Recently I watched a YouTube video by a guy named Reeves Tsang called how to reset your nervous system (and how to finally override your reality) This is one of the first manifestation videos I've se…
Something mentioned but not talked about, Serotonin. — What do we know about Serotonin? \-Its produced in the gut, \-Low levels often correlated to anxiety and depression \-Happy hormone, not to be mistaken with dopamine , the pleasure hormone where …
I stopped chasing happiness and started building contentment instead and it made all the difference — For years I was obsessed with being happy. Every self-help book promised that if I just did this one thing, happiness would follow. Gratitude journals, affirmations, visualization, cold plunges. I tri…
My body feels anxious even when nothing is wrong - has any anxiety relief device actually helped? — This has been bothering me a lot lately. There are days where nothing is wrong. No stress, no overthinking, everything is actually fine. But my body doesn’t feel fine. My chest feels tight, my breath…
My nervous system is constantly swinging between overstimulation and emptiness, how do you find baseline? — I’ve been through a difficult period mentally and I’m coming out of it, but my nervous system feels like it can’t find rest. I either feel completely numb and empty, or I’m seeking stimulation compuls…
What ACTUALLY helps heal a dysregulated/anxious nervous system? — I had an epiphany yesterday. My entire life I've been searching for the cause of my anxiety. Am I anxious about tomorrow coming? Was it something someone said? Is it an unfinished task? All my life I'…
Some supportive words to all you going through this. — just as the title says, I wanted to share something with you all. A bit of trauma dumping. If you’d like to know how I was feeling a few weeks ago, you can look at my profile for my most recent post…
12 minutes in my breath got weirdly "clicky" and now i'm overthinking it — At minute 8 of a 12 min sit yesterday my breath started feeling… segmented. Like inhale was coming in little packets instead of one smooth line, and the exhale had this subtle "click" sensation in my …
I ignored my self-critic for a full week and boy was it exhausting — A week ago I decided that since behavioural activation therapy, CBT, other therapies, and trying to find ways to be productive or find meaning with others or by myself, and even low pressure advice we…
Welcome! Read Me First. — # Welcome to r/Stoicism. This community exists for serious discussion of Stoic philosophy. It is not a forum for general self-help, motivation, validation, or professional therapy. It is also not a p…
Meds?? More therapy? — ​ I (30F) have anxiety and have always managed it pretty well through therapy and what not but lately i just feel out of control of my thoughts and I never feel calm and honestly I dont know w…
The shock of secondary dissociative disorder — I got a cPTSD diagnosis on wednesday. I’m soon to be 40, woman, chronic pain patient at the severest level with trigeminal neuralgia since 2012. I got new treatment that made the pain managable a year…
Ideas on how to get my parent to go to a therapist? — So living with my parent as the only other person in the house regularly has made me realize just how much they need to seek out therapy. They’re super anxious and it’s hard not to feel it when around…
How do you undo all of your badly learned behaviour? — I’m around a year out of a decade-long controlling relationship with a high level of emotional and psychological abuse. I was left homeless and unfortunately had to move back to my family home. As a …
Did anyone else get prescribed their first ever antidepressant during the divorce and have absolutely no idea how to tell if it's working? — Asking because I think this is more common than people talk about and I want to know if my understanding is right. Everything falls apart. You can barely function. You go to your doctor, maybe for th…
Why Life Can Feel Empty Even After Self-Improvement — I’ve had a better perfected version of this written and posted somewhere else. Right now I’ve wrote this as a comment, but it got a bit longer and deeper then expected, therefore I’ve decided to mig…
Feelings that resemble a familiar state of consciousness from very early childhood whilst on psychedelics — I've been studying the phenomina of perceiving thoughts and conscious states that resonates with how things were in early childhood. It feels like a return to early cognition. It's almost a primordi…
If Struggling to Manifest — 1. Alter brain waves state Recommended frequency to manifest: Theta waves = calm, relaxed frequency Make sure that when you are manifesting, you are in a state for it to manifest. \[calm & relaxed\…
My husband left but wants a second chance… — So my husband left in Jan and we’ve been separated since then. We did therapy up until a few weeks ago when he told me “I don’t want to give up all of the other lives I could be living for this life w…
Lately I’ve been getting into these states that I honestly don’t know how to explain. Has anyone else experienced something like this? — Few days ago I started my yoga practice (surya kriya), just going through the sequence and trying to stay focused so I don’t mess it up and then suddenly something just clicked. My head went quiet, my…
What does feeling the emotion look like? — I live far away from the family for college, and recently moved out of campus housing to get my own place. It's very small and not a lot of sunlight comes in, but it provided a level of security and p…
Advice Needed: Dealing with Elderly Covert NMom — I am looking for advice ideally from a specific subset of RBN folks: those prioritizing a low contact relationship and either care managing or caregiving for a covert narcissistic elderly parent who d…
do i break up with my boyfriend before or after the surprise 30th birthday party i’ve been planning for 3 months? (24F, 29M) — Edit: throwaway. i'll try to be as fair as possible because i genuinely don't know what to do and i don't want this to just be a vent. i also want to be honest that i don't know if i'm part of the pro…
I’m not an expert in manifestation, but this is what started making sense to me. — Most people focus on techniques. Affirmations, scripting, visualizing. I did the same. It didn’t change much. The shift happened when I stopped looking at techniques and looked at self-image. Everyo…
I traded places with an NHI on the other side and it was the most blissful and then most traumatic experience of my life. Could also use some aftercare advice. — I’ve been into the weird my whole life, from having frequent future-telling Déjà vu loops as a kid to following the fringe subs here for a few years. I’ve tried CE5 and that didn’t work, neither did s…
I had a crazy lucid dream and I have a question — I won't go too deeply into the content of the dream but It was exhilarating when I woke up. I could never imagine being that "present" while in a dream. I was absolutely certain that I was awake. I ha…
Tell me I’m not crazy… — Married with two young kids (4 and almost 2). I’m at the point where I think I want out, but I want outside perspective before I pull the trigger. My wife has a consistent pattern: • Doesn’t follow …
Ongoing cognitive decline after substances/toxin exposure? Need perspective I’m trying to understand what’s going on — I’m trying to understand what’s going on with my brain and I’d really appreciate input from people who’ve experienced something similar or know about this. Over the past year+ I’ve noticed a pretty c…
My [42M] adult stepson’s [19M] job fell through, now he wants to live at home — I \[42M\] hope this sub can help because I want to navigate this with grace without being a doormat or a jackass. My spouse \[39F\] has a 19 yo stepson who had a potential career lined up but it fell …
Anyone else experience passive anxiety and being high strung? — I just realized this a bit after staying at inlaws home for the past week. They were so nice and warm and welcoming. I thought for sure this was a facade and they will get ugly... My wife was like nah…
Astral Projection: Quick Start Guide — This post contains guides, FAQs and the fundamentals that are suitable for both beginners and experienced members. Explore the links, videos, Astral Projection stories from experienced community membe…
Glad it helped you in some way. I’ve felt like a whiny little wimp for getting PTSD from something that I saw as not a true threat to life. Babies and children absolutely register lack of affection…
Happy for you. Nobody asks to have an attachment style that’s dysfunctional. I’m working through mine and try so so hard to have compassion for others. But a big part of self love is learning how to h…
As a man who has been on both sides of the coin… bear with me cause this is a long read but it has relevance I promise. I’ve been the anxious wreck begging and pleading. Saying stuff like “you don’t…
You are more than welcome champ. My advice here is don't have a talk while she is deactivated as that is more than likely going to push her further away. Emotional deregulation is a behaviour caused…
I think that no one can get healed overnight and pushing oneself to be affectionate would only create resentment long term. I think it's better to ask space and explain the attachment pattern, and the…
You can take the lessons without keeping the man. I’ve done that 5x over and leveled my life up with each man. Trust me they benefited from being with me too, mostly in the arena of emotional awarenes…
I agree with this! But be careful about jumping to conclusions too... "Ironically, her vulnerability in sharing that actually made my infatuation deepen into a real crush." I would go as far as s…
I feel you. That thought of being used is terrifying, I know this might not be what you want to hear but you might be projecting past partners behaviour or fears on to him, as in, if others treat you …
Text of original post by u/TranslatedIntoArt: This year has been brutal since the beginning. Every single aspect of my life increased my anxiety. Multiple health issues in the family, some of them sti…
There’s an app called Attached: Attachment Healing that has done more for me than therapy or reading, though both of those are also important. The responsive journaling and personalized guided meditat…
Security can sometimes feel boring after coming from a push-pull dynamic. It’s only a problem if you’re actively turned off to sex with your partner. Honeymoon phases *can* last six months to two …
Definitely! Thank you for reassuring me. I think I just feel disappointed if this is actually my baseline because I used to be much.... more wild if that makes sense lol. The lack of constant desire n…
Don't think of it as some set baseline that exists. But a lack of development of sexual excitement beyond intermittant re-inforcement, as the other commented mentioned. But you can start to think …
I'm going to go out on a limb and say this is not about you, but about both of you. It's the sexual baseline of both partners that matters. The fact that you have little or no libido on your own is on…
FA here it’s not splitting I think that’s for an actual mental health disorder or personality disorder. Let’s all be clear attachment styles are not disorders and they all can be changed with the prop…
People are not being gross here, they're just highlighting the fact that children are fully dependent on their parents and need a certain standard of care and attunement to not be fucked up. And a kid…
Lifestyle alignment is pretty easy to assess. Whether their emotional system is compatible, now that's the harder part. If you attach hard, apply strict process. Observe consistency. State your baseli…
This would be very valid if the relational baseline and emotional part objectively didn’t shift as much when compared to how it was before for months. This was just for the context which is not the fu…
Ok chiming in as earned secure: I don’t think secure attachment automatically means “no casual sex,” but I also don’t think casual sex is some kind of requirement or proof of security either. In my …
This is fascinating... I've definitely noticed something similar in my own patterns, though I hadn't heard it called that specifically. For me, it's less like interactions "reset" and more like each o…
Well, I’m really intrigued by attachment theory…and I’ve got a crush on an avoidant guy. Our connection has not been advancing beyond mostly text conversation and sort of “fantasy.” I get mixed signa…
I'm DA, my wife FA. I am working on acting more secure for three months now, and trying to repair the damage my behavior did to our marriage. She is still ambivalent and not working on it herself, tho…
You're not wrong for needing space and they're not wrong for feeling anxious but it helps to separate reassurance from responsibility. A simple, calm baseline can go a long way, like: "If I'm slow to …
when my partner and i weren't living together, we would do tuesday night, thursday night, saturday and sunday together. we had our own lives and work. we live together now and baseline spend every nig…
There’s not a set rule. You do what works for your relationship. If it doesn’t work, then you’ll feel the friction until a new baseline is developed or someone chooses to leave.
if you love another human as your main human, you want to hang out together and appreciate their company. full stop. even as an introvert, i'm in my happy place near my partner, both of us reading or …
My fiancé is abroad for work and he sent me flowers. The deliverer uploaded a proof of delivery photo to him - rather than knock on our apartment door and/or leave them right outside our apt door, the…
We’re eight months in and I’m not in love. He’s very understanding, self-reflective, willing to listen to me and make changes, good social network/ friends, active, good relationship with family, hot,…
Normally people are all "hehe I have a crush". NOT ME, NOPE. Just finished crashing out because I have a crush on someone who I'm not only potentially compatible with, BUT there's also baseline attrac…
Because with a specific request, there’s a clear “do/do not do” outcome that you can evaluate to see whether or not he’s going to do it. But yeah, it is kind’ve a childish request—that’s okay. If it’s…
I think it’s pretty normal to require someone to cross a certain threshold of baseline attraction for you to be interested in them. Probably almost all of us do this, men and women both. But it weirds…
Thank you for the reply. I think sometimes my wording offends people, specifically women. And I do think there are people that believe this mindset of requiring a baseline attraction is wrong. I will …
It’s possible you have an unrealistically high baseline proportionate for what you’re bringing to the table, and that’s what people are reacting to. Especially if you’ve never had a girlfriend. For …
Yeah, you might be asking the same exact question all the other guys are. I think speed dating is a waste of time for men if they don't show up with a plan to stand out from the baseline average at th…
Hey OP! Judging from your OG post and many of your comments… I absolutely think this is a love language thing. You (like myself) are a words of affirmation (WOA) girly. And there’s nothing wrong with …
Dating apps are a thing yes. Are they monetized to hell? Also yes. They also dont guarantee actually meeting someone, how long have you been single? What self work have you done? Are you in or have…
No. I feel secure within my self and I would like a partner who also does. What that said everyone can get insecure sometimes about things and that’s fine. But if the baseline is insecure then nope.
A long time ago, I asked my mom if she would ever remarry if something happened to my dad. She thought about it for a second and then said “Nobody else would understand our inside jokes.” I do think p…
Hmmm. I am the opposite. I’d rather do something fun, so if the person isn’t a good match I did the fun thing. The outing is a success if it was fun and there was a good conversation. Hopefully there …
Your own personal insight about feeling like you may have “done too much” turned on a lightbulb for me; it seems like trying to reason with her about all the things she engaged in with me is futile. …
>it seems like trying to reason with her about all the things she engaged in with me is futile. YUP absolutely correct she not only will not care but also percieve you as pathethic and desperate whil…
One thing that doesn't get mentioned enough is the "Progressed Moon." Your natal moon is your baseline, but your progressed moon changes signs every two and a half years. If someone is a textbook Canc…
Right, and I also don’t like how with apps you’re complete strangers but thrown immediately into a romantic context. If you meet someone in person you can steer the conversation to be more or less fli…
the saturn return locks it in, but the shift starts earlier -- the progressed lunar return around 27 resets the emotional baseline. it's less 'growing into the ascendant' and more that saturn forces y…
the distinction the first commenter made is crucial -- direction matters enormously. transit pluto opposite your natal sun is a completely different animal from your transiting sun opposing natal plut…
No. I resented even the suggestion of it. Finally discovering that deactivation was a thing, and not a desirable thing, was a really big eye opening epiphany that I was not open to hearing and the cl…
I can't talk for him, but usually I would write once the deactivation fades, that depends on the type of connection and the sense of ick Sometimes the ick is too strong and it doesn't fade, but it's …
virgo sun / aries rising is a quincunx (150 degrees) rather than an opposition like taurus/scorpio, and that actually changes how the shift feels. oppositions create dramatic, either/or tension -- you…
moon-pluto is the sleeper on that list. sun transits you feel in your identity and life direction -- you know something's off. but moon-pluto hits your emotional baseline and your sense of safety in a…
I have a few thoughts here. So I think you are starting with a baseline assumption that is not always correct. Not everyone cares about being “presentable” or “attractive.” There are also some reg…