damaged

I've had headaches for 3 days now since I did 3 audios in a row. Help, advice. — Three days ago, in the afternoon, I listened to three audio recordings in a row: Focus 10 Pre, Advanced, and Libre. I read here that someone said they could achieve an OBE (Out-of-Body Experience) eve…

Has any ordered from Daddy butter? — First of all, I want to be extremely fair to any business in questioned, they are fairly new business, daddy’s butter. I’ve seen this particular business on Facebook. I’m very impressed with what they…

The way trauma shapes your attachment system... — I'm FA and I was reminiscing on what my love life was like as a teenager and young adult. I remember the feeling I had when someone showed interest in me, it was very much of disgust and suspicion. …

Married 5 months after 10 years together (M32 / F29) — she started talking to another guy right after the wedding. We’re now on a 30-day separation and I don’t know what to do. — I’m looking for honest advice from people who have either been through something like this or have perspective I might not be seeing right now. My wife (F29) and I (M32) have been together for about …

Do romantic relationships ever work with enmeshed parenting? — When my ex and I broke up I told him that his mom was going to make his marriage miserable. She disapproved of/disrespected me and we could see it wasn't going to work out. I don't hate him, but I'm o…

Wife (26F) scheduled cosmetic procedures we agreed we wouldn’t do before marriage, using money from our joint account. I’m (28M) struggling with the trust breach. — I’m 28 and my wife is 26. We’ve been married for 4 years and we have a 1-year-old child together. Before we got married, we had a lot of conversations about values and expectations for the future. On…

After 30 years of being a people pleasing, peace-keeping, manipulative, caretaking, dysregulated, codependency "addict," I've finally reached a point where I have enough control to simply STOP. In a very short amount of time, my whole entire life has changed. It's nearly impossible to describe. — The first part of this post is just context, and you can skip it all by scrolling down to **The Proof** I'm not going to go into much detail, but just for context: I experienced some pretty major chi…

Calling AM on her bluff, even if it means she becomes homeless — \*\*\*\*Warning this contains Abuse, this is not for everyone if you’re under 18 please do not continue reading this. I’ll try to make it brief. My AM was a single parent of 5 kids. That’s where he…

Leaving my relationship for the right reason — Me (m30) and my partner (f39) have been together for 8 years. We have two kids below 4. She has been diagnosed with different mental health issues. She has also had two very rough childbirths. During …

Am I expecting too much after the worst time of my life? — Asking for advice in a situation that is a bit of a shitshow. I’ll try to make it succinct. I live in the UK but am from a different European country. I, F42, started seeing M44, “S”, just over t…

Wish it had gone different — A few months ago I put myself out there after ending a very long marriage. Messaged with a guy a few years older, it turned sexual pretty quick. I hadn’t had anyone make me feel wanted, nor had I been…

I accidentally shifted to a parallel Earth today — I went shopping with my wife. We were listening to the song "Hey there Delilah" when we arrived at the shopping center. While shopping, I experienced this intense moment of deja vu. I even spoke out l…

​Husband (46M) keeps "helpfully" rearranging, hiding, and disposing of my (46F) stuff--what tactic or wording can I use to stop it? — **​I'm getting private messages now so I'll add: please don't repost or use this anywhere else.** TL/DR: husband keeps "helpfully" rearranging, hiding, and disposing of my stuff--what tactic or wordi…

Does anyone else feel like they get emotionally injured in 70-80% of human interactions, just by simply talking? — I’ve realized that 70-80% of my human interactions feel like a boundary violation. It’s like these encounters activate my "festering wounds." Even simple conversations feel intrusive and leave me feel…

BF of 3.5 years broke it off. I'm so happy and free. — Sooo these last couple of days were a lot. I (29M) have been with my boyfriend (27M) for 3.5 years. If you asked me a week ago, I'd say our relationship had its ups and downs, but we were generally ha…

I have an Ai addiction and need help — Hey, idk if this is the place to go for it. I don’t need anyone to shout at me or be angry, but I need help or advice or something. I’ve been a major environmentalist for as long as I can remember.…

Sometimes i just wish people could understand the psychological damage these evil people cause — You work with this individual who's always smiling, happy, flirty and chatty. Wow it must be tiring keeping this mask on all the time. I just wish people could really understand how love bombing work…

manifested my dream car in a day — I have been a believer in Neville and LOA for about 5 years. Normally, I just lurk on this sub, but I thought I would share one of my recent successes! Sometimes, I am more strict about my mental diet…

My viet parents ruined our house by insisting on hiring a family friend to renovate it over a professional — We have an ant colony in our walls, our drawers are falling apart, and our deck has rusty nails sticking out of it. Our house is literally only 20 years old, we were there when it was built, and we ar…

Tiny success story — So I have been reading some NG and have been starting to put his lessons into work. At my job, I work with a lot of expired/damaged products and with resell vendors. Some of the stuff I keep for me a…

Never — I will never be in a relationship again. I will remain single forever. I've learned the biggest lesson of my life. I can not mentally physically give my all my heart my love to anyone else ever again.…

3 months of no contact and I still can’t let go. What should I do? — I’m Mia (20 y.o) and I have clinical depression. My ex Daniel (19 y.o.) and has the same diagnosis. English is my second language, so sorry if something is hard to read, an also sorry for such a huge…

When I Let the Devil Back In — I feel like I can't speak this to anyone in my life so I will try here. What people don’t understand is that this didn’t just happen in some clean, simple way where I got hurt and then walked away. I …

Have I 22F have destroyed my boyfriend 24M and I's sex life? — EDIT: I was not expecting to receive this many comments and am sorry for the lack of response. I’ve been very busy with work the last 12 hours and will try my best to respond as soon as possible. (I…

You discarded the narcissist — Fundamentally, narcissists don't have control over anything in their lives, not even the discard. They are reactionary beings who exist solely in response to external stimuli, which includes you. Fu…

I want to send an apology letter to my ex from 10 years ago — Long story short, he was my first love, first kiss, first \*everything\*; we met in high school and dated for a little under a year, but we had a somewhat complicated 3-year friendship prior to that. …

Anyone else had a golden retriever husband/long-term partner that turned out to be a serial cheater/womanizer? — 2 years thankfully divorced, but still mind-fucked from that marriage. He was, and still is, the guy everyone loves and trusts and believes can do no wrong because "he's so good!" And none of them kno…

1 year since D-Day, and I didn’t cry. — 1 April marked a year since my then boyfriend cheated on me. I found out a month later, so I guess I was bracing myself for both dates. One down. I spent nearly 9 months after that absolutely crying m…

The disrespect after the breakup — Me (M22) and ex (F20) we were together for 3 years, when all of a sudden a conversation got brought up by her saying she’s checked out. She didn’t wanna feel this way she gave us time to see is I coul…

My mother set me up and got policemen and EMR to aggressively restrain me and put me in the ambulance when I least expected — I am mortified. The whole scene was scandalous, never had I ever felt so humiliated. It happened last Friday when I was just about to take a shower before I continued packing my belongings to move o…

Attachment trauma is truly devastating. — I have fearful avoidant attachment and CPTSD related to attachment trauma, I want to believe that this isn’t a life sentence, but my god. I try, every day I try to believe I can get better, I can be b…

How can I do better — My Story — A Journal Entry Where It All Began I grew up in a joint family — grandparents, cousins, relatives all around. On the surface, there was warmth and togetherness. But my immediate family wa…

Neutral truth-teller, conscious coping strategist or damaged, defensive denier? — Where is the line between: "Finally strong enough to share my truth!", and; "Still so fragile that I outsource emotional processing..." on social media?

I need therapy but I can't afford it — My mother used to finance it for me, then she stopped because she didn't like that i was becoming emancipated I'm really trying to do the most rational thing and not fall into the trap of discussing…

Exes response to me saying I'm in therapy — i ended a relationship back in March as the effort was a one way street and he was giving me less than bare minimum. During one of the times we broke NC I told my ex that the way be treated me had d…

I APed into what I'm guessing was a monster, and also visited a weird blue building — I just had the WILDEST experience, I really can’t put it any other way. Most of this is from my journal where I wrote it all out, the stuff in (these) is my personal thoughts or something that occurre…

I M/27 care about my girlfriend 21/F, but I’m struggling with how I see her past — I’m 27 and my girlfriend is 21. We met on a random chat app. At first we only talked for a few nights, then I removed her because I was going through a bad time mentally and also had an upcoming surge…

Partner (21F) cheated multiple times in 1 month in/after grief, and then lied to me (21M) about the details for months, is this even fixable? — First post here, I’m trying to be as objective as possible because I feel like I’m going in circles. I’m 21M and have been with my fiancée 21F since we were about 15. This wasn’t casual for me. I was…

Working is rigged — How are you supposed to ever make a comeback? Get yourself back on your feet? When employers wanna know where you’ve been your entire life????? You cant ever fuck up i guess. You cant ever be ill and…

Too damaged to get this right — I have tryed and tryed but I can’t get rid of the shame and u cant process any of this stuff. I understand it all but I cant feel properly. I don’t understand how to be ok and no theropy has been help…

I need some people to hear and believe me — Someone in my life is a lot like my mother. Not someone I chose to know, I was unlucky enough to move in above her. And she's DARVO'd and smear campaigned, the list goes on. I know there's essentially…

Idk what to do. Pls help — ​ I’m 25 and feel deeply stuck in life. My biggest issues are shame, avoidance, overthinking, emotional overwhelm, fear judgment, and a long-term pattern of not really building a life because…

For those still stuck with them or whose lives have been deeply thwarted, do people blame you for it ? — It's very difficult to explain life-long abuse, especially when you were trained from childhood and isolated or for scapegoats like me whose whole family told you you were the problem. But I tried op…

I'm stuck, dont know what to do. Pls help — I’m 25 and feel deeply stuck in life. My biggest issues are shame, avoidance, overthinking, emotional overwhelm, fear judgment, and a long-term pattern of not really building a life because deep down…

I'm stuck, dont know what to do. Extremely anxious.Pls help — ​ I’m 25 and feel deeply stuck in life. My biggest issues are shame, avoidance, overthinking, emotional overwhelm, fear judgment, and a long-term pattern of not really building a life because…

It's not about her. It's about the stability and security our meetings are giving me. — Hey there. About two hours ago I came back home from visiting my friend. The last week was pure horror because she hasn't replied to me for a week. She said she was very sorry and busy. So after thin…

How long it takes to rewire your brain after being emotionally neglected by your dad your entire life? — Hi, I'm 27yo female, I never had a proper relationship, all I been in is horrible situationships that only damaged me mentally to the point that I feel like I lost myself and I will never return to th…

After 8 years together (30M / 37F), I’m starting to wonder if our relationship is too damaged to continue — I (30M) and my girlfriend (37F) have been together for 8 years. We are from Mexico. Overall our relationship has been good, but lately we’ve had several important arguments that are making me question…

This is why narcissists love to end long term relationships by ghosting and NEVER accept any responsibility for their actions — In a narcissist's mind, everything is about maintaining their sense of control over others. For them, nothing else is important. In their warped minds, ending a relationship with a sudden, unexpected …

M 38, f 35, fears of cheating and complicated sex — Tl;dr: I have severe OCD and can detach from sex easily. Sometimes all that helps is thinking about someone else and it’s eating me alive as I love my partner. Hi all. I’m sorry if this is too graphi…

If you want to talk, I invite DMs but I'm only here sporadically. I'm a healed avoidant. I say that, but it's not black and white. I measure now for mostly secure. I still experience the initial resp…

Hey I understand what you are saying. I’m with you. It’s a battle of who is more damaged. I look at it this way. No matter what the DA or AA has done, both attachment styles are insecure. Digging to f…

True. We can all have struggles from trauma but if we're aware of them and actually trying to work on it, that is amazing but using trauma as a reason to not even try is complete BS. and as an anxiou…

I get what you're saying with respect to people taking responsibility for their actions, but I think it's unrealistic to expect everyone to be at the same point in their healing journey as you are. If…

I'm securely attached and I'm still dealing with the emotional turmoil from letting a FA in. It's one of the hardest things I have gone through in my life because the person actually understood many o…

When someone stonewalls you, flips the script, seeks to erase your history together, the effect is traumatic. This is deep relational trauma. You need space to process the deep grief of loving someo…

Hmm, nowhere did I say multiple decades. The fact that you cant even tell which type of insecure attachment you have, or that you’re codependent means you arent ready. I totally agree that you cant …

I can certainly identify with this sort of feeling, and unfortunately in my case, the realities of what was happening when my partner at the time wasn't responding were exactly the worst thing. That …

Yeah. I was used to my mom being not loving but when she got busy with other stuff or my cousins and was just indifferent to me, I think that really damaged me, I still remember how that felt, like yo…

It is very tough to make a distinction being so far removed from the individuals themselves, but I agree that as a FA, the people who have activated me the most- I also never saw them as “perfect” vs …

I am a 65 year old professional man, happily married to another man 25 years. Recently I started reaching out to make more straight "bro" friends because I really don't like the gay scene, (gay men ta…

Here’s what I’ll say. Me personally, I think a lot of people that are being called avoidants really aren’t true avoidants with the right person. I strongly believe the avoidants people are met with ar…

I've been single for 10 years at this point and frankly I've all but given up on the idea of a partner. I'm convinced I will be alone for possibly the rest of my life at this point. It hurts because n…

You are you. Is who you are, lol. Stop worrying about diagnosing yourself so much as you worry about listening to yourself. You sound like your nervous system is a touch wired towards anxiety as you n…

My ex and I broke up 6.5 months ago but he just unfollowed me on Duolingo and ended our friend streak. Meanwhile I’m on date 5 with someone new who I really like and I started crying in this man’s bed…

Damaged people should avoid relationships until they get therapy and are completely healed. It’s like a virus. You’ll hurt him and he will hurt the next woman and it will keep spreading.

I wouldn't call it "pining". Just... wondering about what-ifs. And yeah, I was finding it fishy, but also thought a writing forum may not be the best place to catfish people like this. And sorry to h…

Pumped and dumped. He ended it the day after he slept with me because I am friends with a guy I’ve slept with. Who he knows, sort of, distantly. Who he outright told me he was okay with me being frie…

It sounds like you know yourself fairly well. I think youre doing the right thing. As with any trauma, you have to be unafraid of revisiting for the purpose of reframing it calmly. with physical tor…

This is one of her favourite things to do. She particularly loves gives me partially damaged second hand things and telling me they're brand new.

I lost my early life to all kinds of crap that were completely out of my control. I never had a choice becase it was already made for me even, if it wasnt good The more I 'heal', the more I am unabl…

Im 29M. The more i 'heal' the less i belong/ am tolerated anywhere. The older i get, the more i see that i missed out on things you can only get as a young person. The older i get, the more i accept t…

No, it’s pretty much, exactly *parenthood*. If you don’t want to be a parent, or aren’t emotionally suited to it, then this is the time to make it clear. Make a break before your kids are any older an…

Oh wow. I've not heard a mention of a tall one acting like you've described besides this one who I thought was kind of like a character I made up in my mind, but that sort of thing ended up turning in…

I've have had constant chronic pain for 15 years now at 34, on top AuDHD, and only recently realized that cptsd has everything to do with how I was hard wired. Every day is a battle with my own body a…

My sister (33) has Crohn's and — while they did have to do surgery to remove a chunk of damaged intestine at one point — doesn't have a colostomy bag. It's not like it's a inevitable thing that will h…

Just saying some people are too damaged to accept love freely. They need to feel like it’s a “challenge”. That’s unfortunate. Look up the principle of least interest for a related dynamic.

That's because the word trauma dumping has become weaponized by callous individuals. It's not supposed to refer simply to sharing trauma. It's supposed to mean sharing graphic and deeply upsetting c…

I’ve had “you’re not ready for a relationship and you’re damaged from your divorce. It’s not my job to fix you or convince that men aren’t terrible”. Well no it isn’t and that’s why I spent 19 mont…

Tell them how you feel. You have to be the one to decide if that’s a dynamic you want to stay in. Personally I think people give up too easily on each other these days. I would know because I’m anxiou…

whether you realise this or later.. heres a thought. whatever you acknowledge to self happens and you will experience. wake up feeling down and your subconscious will find evidence for you. wake u…

I'm a CPTSD sufferer too, and I've done a lot of reading on these things. So I want to explain some of these terms (BPD, NPD and autism), as you might find it useful for understanding yourself. There…

I understand, I wasn't being insulting. I'm saying that even though it was not your intention you caught feelings. The high you said you felt was evidence of that. I am emotionally damaged, and I com…

I deeply regret breaking up with my boyfriend a week ago. I really hurt him because of my inability to have hard conversations. Feeling damaged and rueful and terrible.

After so many hours of fasting, autophagy in the body increases extremely, meaning sickly or damaged cells will be destroyed by the healthy ones at a faster rate. This is a fact. If this is connected …

I've noticed some people like to trauma dump on the people they've met through dating apps. They immediately start talking about all of the problems they're currently going through or all of their woe…

I've done this yes for quite a long time. I've concluded though that ketamine's depth is largely a cognitive hallucination, ie, an illusion. I can quite easily accept that very, very rarely, like once…

What stands out to me is his maturity level in how he handled it. Instead of just owning it from the start which would have been a simple, normal conversation he denied it until you literally showed h…

I know this is going to kick up controversy but my mother had very observable varieties of her that cared more about different things than others. One minute she was pimping me out then the next, she …

I have been so damaged by quotes like that. "Only u can help urself" "take responsibility" "love urself" completely misses the whole point. My trauma comes from being over-burdened, parentified. B…

You move forward by planning things to do, doing them, even if you are not enthusiastic about it and getting a decent amount of sleep. Rinse and repeat. In some time the puzzles will start falling int…

Who dis new phone. Or “sorry he died x years ago. Click. HARD no contact. Look how they damaged everyone. Run.

I Love that you are unable to understand that calling yourself a GOOD mother & have rights to the kids while being a cheater in the same sentence! I don't give two Fs what a judge or court or CPS says…

You don’t sound stupid or like you lack self respect, it sounds exactly like what you’re writing here. We’re all just seriously worried about you because this is not just a glaring red flag, it’s THE …

Studies show strangulation affects your brain functions. Every time you do it it gets worse. This guy weather accident or not is liking this. Effectively each time this happens your brain is damaged t…

I get it. I also have reflected deeply and realized that I simply repeat trying to "fix" things that happened in my childhood, with respective partners. It is an unconscious thing that I have been pro…

Letting go, I believe, requires the skill to look at YOUR own needs first. We often get pulled back into these relationships because we still hold on to hope that things can improve or fear that our l…

Tibetan dream yoga teaches a practice of being brave. I call this lesson Logic and (non-binary) Cojones because you need to realize logically that the dream world is a mental construction and you can …

the progression of one painful release to another is normal for purification practice. They can come straight after each other/overlap in timing and-or location/have gaps between them/come in the same…

The agreement to age gracefully is something that can be adjusted. Women and men do not age in the same way. Just wait until you are in your 50s. This agreement is not realistic. Choosing to do wha…