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I also have this issue! Like another redditor here said, it might be down to what you think of yourself. Everyone is doing interesting things and that makes you want to have something interesting to d…
We open-sourced internet’s largest incident response glossary with over 500+ terms — We just published a public glossary with **500+ terms** related to incident response, on-call, alerting, SLOs, postmortems, and more. I think this is perhaps the internet's largest glossary for incide…
Looking for WP setup: searchable listings + user edit access — I'm working on a project using WordPress and I'm looking for advice on the best **theme or setup** to make this work easily. # Here's the concept: * A **homepage with a search bar** where users can …
New Entrepreneur Groups? — Hello! Are there any communities that new entrepreneurs can join, chat, and get advice from other entrepreneurs? Maybe a Discord server or something? If there isn’t one, we should start it! I’m a sol…
Tried all the steps to bootstrap, without funding. I will not promote. — I will not promote. So I spent a lot of time in the local world volunteering. All with the spoken language of "here's how you get your startup funding". So I've helped with community projects, other s…
Friendships — Hey, super random, but a while back, my friend and I had this conversation. I was just sort of thinking about romantic relationships as friendships. It occurred to me that I was no anxious when it cam…
How to deal with triggering situations — Life has been so rough lately when living with anxious attachment in a relationship. Everyday is a struggle. We had an explosive argument yesterday which left me even more on edge than normal. To put …
Emotional numbness. What happend? — I've been together for 5 years now with my DA (2 earlier break-ups 4 years ago). Every time we have an argument or a fight I go in complete AA-mode; cry, scream, chase, beg to resolve it right then …
Unsent letter to a prior ex, in the midst of a current breakup. — I am in a crash course on my own nervous system while in the midst of a breakup with a dismissive avoidant man I've loved for almost five years. I'd known about the anxious-avoidant trap for some time…
Please help me understand this feeling — So..I need some help with this. Everynow and then i get this feeling where my heart emotionally hearts. Physically there is nothing wrong with me, but my heart, it's like it's racing like to the poin…
March 2026 Astrology: Transits, Key Dates, and More — **Last month’s write-up, I ended with this,** *“Let’s just say we end the month in a chaotic state of energy. Nothing seems real while at the same time, there is a sense of urgency that something need…
How honest are securely attached people? — I'm curious how honest secure people are with others in their life. I'm healing from dismissive avoidant attachment and my instinct whenever something bothers or upsets me is to dismiss it as not a bi…
Life's expectancy for life & love — Unfortunately, I think for the rest of my time on this planet, I will carry a quiet fear. Even in the midst of real, full-blown love, I may never truly trust that one day I won’t be lied to, cheated o…
Fantasy and Manifestation — I need to turn what's in my head into reality instead of just keeping it as a fantasy. Do you have any suggestions? How can I tell if I'm manifesting something? Does manifestation require a lot of eff…
My (28f) boyfriend (37m) drinks to excess nearly every weekend, am I selfish for wanting it to stop? — Throwaway account. Please tell me if I am crazy for feeling this way. My boyfriend (37m) and I (28f) have what I consider to be a generally good relationship. We’ve had some issues in the past that we…
did i mess up by telling my therapist i feel like i'll end up killing myself in the end? — i had been going to this therapist for like year and a half. at one vulnerable moment i told her i feel like i'll just end up killing myself in the end. (i maybe didnt word it correctly, i just didnt …
Why did it take me so long to realize the neglect? — I was always a fairly gifted child and after puberty I started to question everything in the world, society, meaning, etc. I was aware that I was depressed at the time and having clear symptoms of lo…
Traditional meditation feels like a chore, but my own 'quiet mind' method feels amazing. Am I missing something? — I have a particular style of meditation which I can't explain very well, but I just allow my mind to go quiet. I still have similar thoughts to daily life, but I feel like I'm only very partially enga…
Why am i so average — I've put effort in everything I do, and yet everything I do leads to just an average outcome. How do other people try a lot less and do much better? Is life only successful if I have raw talent and we…
Has anyone here read Michael Pollen's new book yet? — [https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/241471051-a-world-appears](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/241471051-a-world-appears) A World Appears: A Journey into Consciousness It has raving reviews on …
Is it actually possible to re-wire the brain and actually stop sexualising… everything? — I posted here a few times, I'm currently at 107 days of sobriety. I don't watch p0rn, don't masturbate, don't go cruising. The only times I've done something sexual were with my ex, as we are still cl…
I don't know much about anything but i feel energies physically what does it mean? — I've always even as a child felt other people energy fields physically, like I can feel the energy that is being projected towards me and it's almost tangible to me. It's even more evident to me if i'…
Found my wife has been cheating with a co-worker — After years of hard times, lately, there were many signs where stuff didn’t add up. Eventually, last night was able to check her iCloud and found pictures of this guy, probably going back to many mon…
How to bring up SI to my therapist? — (Prefacing: I am currently safe! This post just sucks to make.) I'm relatively new to having a therapist, I started last year in November. I feel like I hit the jackpot with my therapist, I think we …
I have to leave tonight, I'm not safe. Am I missing anything? — I'm 19(f), living with my parents in Alabama. Shit hit the fan last night, and my parents had me locked in a room all night without any of my devices. They physically hurt me and yelled at me and…
I solved 2 decades of solar plexus pain by pulling energy straight into it during my meditation — Am I dumb or is this a known thing? As in, not using my breath, not trying to pull it up fron the ground or down from the sky, not trying to push it up or down or move the energy around, not through …
Energetic Absorption or Something Else? Looking for Insight. — Hi all, I’m looking for some perspective from others who are energetically sensitive. I recently went into my aunt’s home after she passed. She had significant hip and back pain for a long time. Whil…
Voice in my head predicting the future??? Am I reaching?? — Ok so for about the past 2 weeks i have been consistently meditating, which i never have before, the max i ever done was like 4 days, but anyways about 7 days ago i start getting this urge and feeling…
ENM Popular Now? — I'm a 49F and just started dating recently in DC. Found a very cool guy (just chatted on the phone, started to plan a date) who announced he is "Ethically Non-Monogamous" - He already has one partner …
I'm going to meet AP for the first time — I divorced my husband 1.5 years ago after discovering his affair, not only once but twice (with the same person). The first time he confessed everything and was commited to make it work but after some…
energy work on bf — my boyfriend has been having this horrible "charlie horse" cramp pain in his upper thigh area, all day at work and last night. for some reason, i intuitively felt like i could try something to assis…
I don't get to focus 12 — I feel like nothing is happening with focus 12. My consciousness doesn't expand at all.. it's just still me lying in my bed with the same amount of consciousness as before. I don't know if I'm suppose…
Parents have no hobbies or interests — Ever since my siblings and I left for college, I’ve noticed my parents seem to be living a very monotonous, low-energy lifestyle. Whenever they’re not working, they spend almost all of their time just…
Do people eventually want marriage/long-term partnerships, or is it mostly just dating at our age? — I'm a 42M, only a few months into my divorce. To be clear, I am by no means looking for a relationship right now. However, I've been lurking on this sub for a while because I knew my marriage was c…
People say I look 30+ but I’m 24 — what am I doing wrong? — Hey everyone, I’m 24M and I keep getting told I look 30 or older. It’s starting to mess with my confidence a bit, so I wanted some honest feedback. I’m currently taking care of basics — skincare (clea…
I Changed Myself and Got it All — Hello, I’ve been wanting to write this post for a very long time. Grab a snack and come along for the ride! **The Beginning: April - October 2022** I discovered Neville 4 years ago; after a year of …
Wrong again but did I do the right thing ? — Ugh...I was dating someone the last few months. Things were going well including physical aspects. For context I'm 44f he 51m. I planned a trip away with my best friend months ago. I'm starting a new…
no napping and no sleeping in rule — I don't know why, but growing up my step dad (filipino) would get upset if my siblings and I slept in during weekends or breaks from school. We were always expected to get up at 6 am, every morning, n…
Am I out of touch or are they? — I'm going to a new psych... Because my old psych told me I couldn't stay with her forever... Whatever that is... We are going thru a pain psych workbook. But today I expressed that a sentence in th…
Is reading pointless if I don’t remember most of it? — I’ve been overthinking reading lately. I just started reading books because I feel like it’s a step I need to take to reach my goals, but I keep worrying that if I don’t remember everything I read, t…
In love with my (26F) best friend (27M) and it’s killing me — Me and my best friend have only been besties for about 3-4 years, but we grew close extremely quickly. I initially didn’t find him attractive at all, and we were also not single at the time, but aft…
How do you rebuild your life after depression takes everything? — I’ve had a pretty rough life overall - lots of abuse and difficult experiences. I’ve done a lot of therapy and worked really hard to become a healthier person, and I feel like I’ve moved past a lot of…
Are we giving up on relationships too easily nowadays? — A friend send me this message this morning and now I am curious to hear from you. "Life has evolved in a way that it's easier to run away and start over than to fight for something that's already bui…
She turned sunlight into homework. I left her house years ago. My mind still hasn't. — The sun came out today. And the first thing I felt wasn't warmth. It was guilt. A full-body, immediate, almost chemical reaction: *you should be outside. You should be using this. You're wasting it.*…
My Boyfriend (28M) thinks the reason why he can't finish is because I'm (20F) too big from the inside. — (English isn't my first language) This is a bit personal, but I'm from a very conservative locality so I have no one to talk to. My boyfriend of 2 years has been great in the bed during the early sta…
Unmatched 45 minutes before first date? — This was my first, first date, getting back in the game. I guess I’m just asking someone to confirm I don’t need to still go, right? Like this isn’t some new OLD thing?
Men Over Forty: Last Time Someone Flirted — This question specifically goes out to all the gentlemen in the audience. __When was the last time someone flirted with you, hit on you, or told you that you were hot/attractive?__ This could be di…
[22F] Need outside opinions on a very confusing and painful situation with a guy I dated [22M] — I’m 22F and he’s also 22M. We met on Hinge last August and clicked very fast. It became intense almost immediately. He was very interested in me as a person first, not just physically, and he openly s…
Am I doing the right thing? F42, — So I'm 42 female.. been engaged for the last 4 years..to a great guy.. but from day one there hasn't been the intimacy there from my side.. I fell for his caring and funny side but over the years the …
Anxious (me) + Avoidant (her) breakup — still stuck after 1 year, need honest perspectives — Hey everyone, I really need some honest advice. I’ll try to explain this clearly. I was in a 2-year relationship where I now see a strong anxious (me) + avoidant (her) dynamic. Looking back, I also …
I miss him so much — Today is its birthday! His 30th birthday. I had to plan to celebrate him so well. I started organizing this last year. He deserves to be celebrated. Our love was so special. Now, today, im in the pa…
Just a few questions here - I'm new to lucid dreaming. I garden quite a bit, so I can grow Artemisia douglasiana and a few other helpful herbs and make a poultice or something. I usually don't rem…
You’re the only one I ever see mentioning coffee 😂I get you’re trying to be cute but I haven’t heard it once. I’m asking about *you*. Not anything thing in any sub. There are dozens of success storie…
Yea I know. I'm not understanding your first comment, is what I was trying to say. Why did you bring up the whole partner thing?
You think you don't owe your partner, someone who's entered into a loving partnership with you, anything? That you can just walk away from that righteously, whenever? Sounds like a paltry, wispy comm…
It can help you by managing your triggers, but it does not mean healing. Years of exposure to emotional turbulence sounds like a disruption to your nervous system, your attachment style. In fearful …
You are correct. Your perception of love is warped. And thus it can be really hard finding it without accidentally finding yourself in shit relationships. As many have commented, avoidants typically …
Correct me if I’m wrong, but your comment has me confused from the tons of reading I’ve done on attachment styles. Am I missing something?
Hey! We're a 4-people team of ex-Google and Amazon engineers building custom software for startups and businesses. From idea to launch (and beyond), we’ve got you covered - mobile apps, web apps, and…
Hey. How would you explain DA almost never being attached in early stages of a relationship (first months lets say) why is it so common for them to act loke they are the most attached to the other per…
I have just learned about attachment Theory and believe my partner is avoidant( not sure if da or fa as still a bit confusing to me) I felt like my avoidant partner was putting me through test. At the…
Aw mate. No, it doesn't seem pathetic at all. Makes sense why it's still in your head after 2 years, then. That sounds really difficult. I feel for you. Your solution is a good one... but can I add…
I’m new at this posting thing ,so sorry if I don’t get everything in the text. My wife will not help me to go to hospital if I need to,I’ve been alone for days . She says putting our children through …
Either charge more for the songs starting now or continue to sell them to other people the way she does. Clearly your music is popular so use that affirmation to sell more music. Sounds like this per…
Honestly? It's mostly up to her to resolve that issue, not on you. But somethings you can do to help is tell her you like when people are being real, it doesn't matter if that's a bit imperfect. I al…
"The last FA I dated shit tested me early on, dumping some not so flattering info about herself just to see how I would react." • Mine has done it throughout all 4 years! I faltered a few times, yes…
Do you really think telling her things will change anything? Are you expecting something out of that? She will learn from this (from you), and the next person (if she wants it) will enjoy her best ve…
What was the public humiliation stuff? I didn't realize that was an FA thing?
Do you sometimes think back at that relationship, feeling like you squandered a good thing?
Have u manifested anything?
My partner is FA and I am a DA leaning earned secure. He definitely brought out some things in me that I had yet to address. We lived together for 1.5 years. Much of it was tumultuous. I moved out aft…
Text of original post by u/DaniT0n: Hey, super random, but a while back, my friend and I had this conversation. I was just sort of thinking about romantic relationships as friendships. It occurred to …
You might be putting this friend or even this “bond” on a pedestal. A truly strong bond will not break so easily. You may have ups and downs but it won’t break. If it does, it really wasn’t a strong b…
Text of original post by u/Moonk1ssed: Life has been so rough lately when living with anxious attachment in a relationship. Everyday is a struggle. We had an explosive argument yesterday which left me…
I've got an ex situationship who's very avoidant in all facets, we split around 9 months ago yet she periodically messages me some low effort "how are you:)". I have learned to give very bland generic…
Is it normal you freeze an entire night and morning watching someone you care about be like that? My back just started hurting out of nowhere and I couldn't walk, sit, or lie without feeling a sharp p…
Idk. Were you verbalising any of this? Like if it was me in pain I would be going to the hospital immediately and not worrying about what my boyfriend is doing, but I have free healthcare so obvious…
>I associated it with a freeze response because that's how he's described it before when it happened in the past. To be clear, what I said before was that it *is* a freeze response, just that it's n…
Text of original post by u/Ierpapierlol: I've been together for 5 years now with my DA (2 earlier break-ups 4 years ago). Every time we have an argument or a fight I go in complete AA-mode; cry, scr…
Text of original post by u/f1rstpancake: I am in a crash course on my own nervous system while in the midst of a breakup with a dismissive avoidant man I've loved for almost five years. I'd known abou…
It might be too soon to be expecting this person to be a long term thing. You are still getting to know them. And you haven’t known them long enough to really know them truly well. You are likely ab…
I’ve been dating an avoidant woman for 4 months, we’ve been through two short break ups (2 days and 5 days long respectively). We’ve been together for about a month since the last break. Last week, a…
Is mind reading an anxious attachment trait? What I mean by that is expecting people to understand what's going on with you without having to say anything? One of my friendships ended, unfortunately, …
Hi! I suffer from anxiety and recently had a strange dating encounter. And just trying to remind myself of the best way to deal with these types of situations going forward. Quickly, I went on a date …
>My question: Is this normal dismissive-avoidant deactivation that will pass if I wait it out or is this someone slowly checking out of the relationship without saying it? Counterquestion: does it ma…
>Do you feel the need to protect your peace? If Soo dismissive avoidant, 100% of the time, and borderline narcissist. Why is protecting one's peace a bad thing? It doesn't necessarily mean dismissin…
I'm not sure on this one since a lot of context is missing. Based on the responses you made in the comments, it's hard to tell because everyone is an individual but being avoidant alone doesn't alway…
You're reading a lot into his actions. It's not fair or kind to make assumptions about other people's intentions. If you feel confused or think there has been a miscommunication, you should ask them -…
I'm struggling so much with dating because I'm almost never (99% of the time) attracted to someone on the first date. So I continue seeing them because maybe attraction will grow. But even after a few…
Here's my thoughts after being on this subreddit for a while, and I am someone who has been daily practicing for the past 8+ months with no physical results. 1. Maladaptive daydreaming proves that ma…
Have you felt this way for a while? Or is it the middle of this horrific winter where you are and you keep watching the news and he keeps needing to discuss heavy things and you haven’t taken a vacati…
Thoughts please? I've had five dates with someone who I'm already having the best sex of my life with. I have been sexually disappointed throughout my romantic life and this is essentially my dream co…
>Is a mind-blowing sexual connection a sign of anything? Nope. Idk if it's something to keep pursuing or not. Personally, I probably would (mind-blowing sex is admittedly a strong motivator), but…
Omg is that a thing??? Uuuuuugh
In a relationship??? Did he forget or something? “There’s something important I need to tell this woman. Can’t for the life of me think what it is…”
If you want effort, you should be clear about your intentions, especially if it’s a newer relationship. You should have said, “I want to go out on Valentine’s Day, can you plan something?” and then as…
Well yeah how do you think I feel? I thought I should just rub her chest and tell her it’s ok and I’m here and she would be fine. The problem is I trigger her by leaving. But how can I not leave when …
Just curiosity on my part: those cases where it didn't improve, did you talk about how you like your kisses or were you hoping it would improve without having to say anything? I've been told I'm a go…
Why exactly did you get engaged to someone you barely know? Is this an arranged marriage kinda thing? If her insecurity is that bad then it will not go away no matter what you do. She has issues she…
When I'm in my deepest, darkest I try to look outside myself and do something nice for someone else. Follow up with someone on something they shared. Ask the cashier how they're doing and if they've h…
For those who are in a relationship this Valentine’s Day, but not a year ago, did you change something? Did you try meeting people in different places? Get in shape? Feel like it is just luck?