dismissed

The nice thing is the serious stuff never falls off a permanent record. If your date has that extensive of a record, some might not be found, but enough of it always will be.  Like with Guy 2, what …

The most painful relationship/breakup I've ever had, cracked me open for healing. Plot Twist: The text message llm tool said I was an FA, I ignored it for 5 months before I figured it out. — For five months I was absolutely certain I was dismissive avoidant. Monthly attachment coaching—as a DA. Studied obsessively, could recite every AP/DA/FA trait. I even built this text analysis tool, a…

Global Policy Journal: “Don’t look up?“ – Why it is past time for serious holistic research into Unidentified Anomalous Phenomena — Karin Austin, Michael Bohlander and Kimberly S. Engels have contributed an excellent article to the Global Policy Journal. Two of these people I've met personally and they are experiencers who are doi…

I'm not sure about my attachment style but I want to discover it right now 'cause I want to start healing!!!!!! — Sorry for the long text, I want to be thorough. So, I just ended my first ever relationship. I'm 20, I'm a lesbian from a conservative background and had a lot of internalized homophobia and religiou…

DA healing update: searching my true self, my inner child finally seen — Some of you may know me at this point. I'm (40M) dismissive avoidant, my wife fearful avoidant (41F), together 17 years, married 13 years, 3 children. I've been working on my attachment style for 5 mo…

My mom was supposed to pick me up after surgery. Instead my son took the bus. — I’m in my 50s and still unpacking things about my mom. Growing up, she was always extremely emotionally absent. There was almost no affection, no comforting, and very little interest in my inner life…

Why are people such sheep when it comes to drugs? — People seem to just accept things, unthinking, unquestioning. This person I was debating with said "Well people can just die instantly from MDMA" and I said that's just false. That doesn't happen, not…

The dangerous 'toxic positivity' of AI therapy: A personal story — **TL;DR:** I used a customized Gemini "Gem" as a complementary therapist, but it completely failed to spot a predator. The AI interpreted extreme red flags (love bombing, gaslighting, and manipulation…

Is this lucid dreaming or is it SP? — Put this in a few subs cause I’m starting to get curious about what’s going on with me. About six years ago, I experienced something unusual while lying in bed fully conscious but with my eyes closed…

Carl Jung wasn't a psychologist. He was a shaman. — Carl Jung quietly wrote one of the most profound esoteric texts of all time, at least in my own personal opinion. Seven Sermons to the Dead was written in 1916, privately shared between a handful of J…

I burned out so badly I couldn't get out of bed for two weeks and the recovery taught me everything about my limits — Last year I hit a wall that I didn't see coming. I thought I was fine. I was working sixty hour weeks, maintaining an active social life, going to the gym, keeping up with everything. I felt like I wa…

Anyone feel like their own emotions aren't real or dont count somehow? — Not sure how to describe it but I'll have a full crying breakdown, or an anger episode of stomping around my room and yelling, then 10 minutes later it will feel like it didnt even happen, like I dism…

What's a statement from your parents that sounded good back then but has aged like milk once you realized your emotional neglect? — As in something your parents often said about you that at first sounded good but you look at differently now that you are aware of the emotional neglect you experienced. I have one. And it's pretty h…

How Neville Manifested His Marriage - Do Not Meddle In The Middle. — **For Those Who Need...** From Neville's Audio Lecture. The verbatim from Neville's Lecture (*Updated*) : *“When I decided to marry the lady who now bears my name I applied this principle. At the t…

Husband says I “lack empathy” for not excusing his parents’ behavior — Excuse the long post, I am confused My husband (25M) and I (25F) have been together for 9 years. He had a really rough childhood. His dad was physically and emotionally abusive and he says he would …

Deep Regret of How I Handled Things in the Latter Parts of the Relationship — at the latter end of the toxic 3-year relationship, I snapped and lashed out several times. Calling them degrading names several times. In those 3 years, I tried to be patient, forgiving and unconditi…

Me (F19) and my (ex?)boyfriend (M20) are on a break/broken up and I’m unsure how to regulate my emotions — We have been together for around a year. We have always been very intense, honest, and serious about eachother. We are also both very intertwined with each other’s families, and overall everybody on b…

Has anyone reached out to their nex’s exes for the truth? — I’ve been thinking a lot about how my ex framed all of his former partners as mean, crazy, narcissistic, or toxic, and now that I’m out of the relationship, I’m questioning how much of that was ever t…

It’s finally over — I’m sitting at a closed bar at 10am with a beer in my hand both celebrating and grieving at the same time. I (26m) spent two years with a woman (24f) I thought was the love of my life. Everything abo…

Re edit: what do I do how dumb am I — \*Original post taken down I think I was too detailed, I’m really sorry🤦🏽‍♂️\* 21M struggling after breakup with 21F (6-year on/off relationship) – feel like a lot happened but I still want her bac…

I helped a woman through an abusive marriage, then she chose another guy days later — I’ve been struggling to process a situation that ended about a month ago, and I just need to get this off my chest. For about 18 months, I (32/M) was really close with this woman 32(F). We never met …

Why is apologising so difficult? — I've just spent the last 20 minutes writing and rewriting an apology to my classmates because I was accidentally insensitive and one of my classmates told me off for it. So I explained my view of why …

The moment when everything clicked after the discard. Does this pattern strongly point to NPD? — Hey everyone. After a recent brutal and totally blindsiding discard by someone who I thought loved me, Im trying to understand what I experienced (almost 1 year relationship and attempt at reconnectio…

23F stuck in strict family, pressured to marry, no freedom, and don’t know how to leave — I’m 23F living in the UK, and I feel completely stuck. My family is very strict and I have almost no independence. I’m not allowed to go out with friends or even by myself just to shop or relax. I’ve …

Breakup with fearful avoidant — So I just want to tell my story of how the breakup is and how I assume that the person who broke up with me is fearful avoidant after analysing what happened and what was going on. I want to get some …

What is the point of emotional support groups when they're taken over by trolls? — Would be nice to have a place to talk about stuff without some bot telling me to "go to therapy" and thrown into that endless loop of "potential friends weaponizing therapy to tell you to go away" > "…

Moving away from AP when I’m financially dependent — For context, I (F25) have been living abroad since I was 18. I recently went through a breakup because my partner didn’t want to get married, so I couldn’t stay. Around that time, my parents were push…

I don't love my parents — Growing up as the eldest daughter I had a lot of unspoken expectations bestowed upon me, especially since I performed relatively well in school. My mom cares about my grades because she wants to compa…

My partner (40M) always argues with me (32F) whenever I express my "negative" feelings to something he does — We have been together for 3.5 years and I am starting to see the pattern very clearly now. We went out to have lunch during the weekend and he was talking about his work etc, I am currently taking cla…

birthday celebrations — my birthday is in june and it’s a sore topic for me. i’m turning 18 and i have never had a birthday party. due to religious reasons, my mother has refrained from celebrating or even acknowledging it. …

Struggling: When family says you deserve your trauma. Am i narcissist? — Hi, I’m really struggling and I don’t have a safe space to talk about this in my real life. A few years ago I was sexually assaulted. When I told my mum at the time, she said I “deserved it.” Since t…

Parents recorded Csam of me - don't know what to do — I'm not sure if this is too graphic but I feel that I need some validation because I keep questioning my reality and if it was really abuse. When I was 10, I was watching home videos with my parents …

How can I do better — My Story — A Journal Entry Where It All Began I grew up in a joint family — grandparents, cousins, relatives all around. On the surface, there was warmth and togetherness. But my immediate family wa…

Parents seem controlling not sure where to proceed. — Hi everyone I am in quite a bit unsure of where to proceed with everything. I’m autistic and 17m For a while now I’ve been having a bit of a rough time with my parents it all started when a wedding…

I’m building a relationship with someone and seems like he’s following new women? Does Instagram glitch? — I have been seeing someone for a bit. We’ve decided to be exclusive and I discussed a big boundary for me is social media behavior as I have a lot of trauma surrounding it from my past, also just find…

Divorce? — I am a SAHM (F33) of two kids (2.5 and 1 year old) since last 1.5 years. We live in Ireland and our families are in India. I had a well paid job and only left to take care of my kids as we have no sup…

Is it worth getting a divorce — I am 40(f) my husband, 42(m) and I am so sick of the imbalance in our relationship/life. I work full time from home and operate a small business to bring in extra money. My husband has a small busin…

I [30F] and my boyfriend [30M] are struggling with recurring drawn-out arguments and communication issues — My boyfriend and I have been together for about 5 years, and the last 2 years have had a lot more ups and downs. I care about him, and we’ve built a life together that I really value: we have a home i…

When a guy blocks you everywhere after a fight, is it usually permanent? — My boyfriend and I had a fight that became way bigger than one issue. The immediate trigger was him changing plans last minute or miscommunication or no communication about events but for me it was re…

I’ve just released the evidence to the press that NSW Police fabricated a medical diagnosis to criminalize my trauma. I am dropping the files here on Friday. — *Disclaimer: I am remaining anonymous while investigative journalists review the evidence file I just submitted to them. I have on me clinical assessments, hospital documents, and audio recordings sup…

My partner slept with someone the night I bailed him out of jail — My (33F) on-again/off-again partner (42M) and I have been in a rough cycle for a while. There’s been cheating and verbal abuse on his end. He says I’m needy and don’t respect his space. He also feels …

emotionally negligent mum — I am 22 and I took a break from work for Easter to spend time with my family. I work a lot, basically seven days a week, so this was meant to be a proper rest. I was actually dreading coming home, but…

Jury Duty triggered my CPTSD and turned the day into a humiliation ritual — TW: mentions of domestic abuse and attempted unaliving I'm not sure if this is the place to post something like this but sometimes in order to cope and make myself feel better, I write it all out an…

Bless you guys and your strength dealing with N abuse — Im no stranger to N abuse, I’ve been no contact with my family likely 5 years at this point and while it was hard at first, life has been amazing since. I’ve started forgetting what it was like to hav…

I feel trapped — I (22f) live with my grandmother. I've lived here all my life on and off (been to various shelters with mother) they were my main guardians (mother/gma)... I don't even know where to start. They say t…

Ex is back — I’m looking for some honest advice because my head is all over the place right now. I recently met up with my ex again after some time apart. It’s been about 6 months since we ended things, and we’ve…

Not sure what to do — Me 44m and wife 36f - married 11 years 6 months ago my wife filed for divorce. We both had lawyers and I had pretty much given up hope. We were living in separate rooms and not talking. One night…

How can you tell if calling off an engagement is the right decision? — I recently got engaged to a guy my parents introduced me to through a mutual family friend. He lives out of state, was 25years old, and my mom initially gave him my number without asking me. At the ti…

On my last limb here. — To make this easier to understand im the youngest of four silbings two girls two boys, my eldest brother lives in the states(secret love child my dad had), my other brother lives on a different island…

Please tell me if my wanting to leave my BF [25M] is valid or if I [21F] am being dramatic. — Hello everyone! So I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 6 years now and I’ve started thinking that maybe we need to break up. This has been on my mind for months now, but I’ve thought that mayb…

Reading about EDS triggered a memory. — Marking this NSFW due to triggers. This is a vent post so hopefully it's allowed. I just got hit with a vivid memory from my past and I just need to shout it into the void and get it out or somethin…

No babe. I’m happy as can be, I guess you don’t realize people can get into committed relationships without having to rock back and forth in their rooms doing affirmations and visualization all day, l…

Yes. I was with a dismissive avoidant and I divorced him, and then my older sister is a DA as well and I have been regaining my voice after I left my ex. So I have set very limited time to talk to my …

Being told or assumed that we don't have feelings. DAs do but we likely never had emotional support or it was inconsistent, our feelings were dismissed ("men don't show emotion) or when we did show …

What bothers me the most is how OP's relationship progress is being dismissed. It doesn't seem to be enough that they reached a functional state and OP is happy at the moment, getting his needs met. …

You know avoidant are just people don’t you? A human who has suffered and who, SOMETIMES, reacts a certain way to being triggered. If you don’t want to date someone then don’t but don’t just label eve…

I couldn't agree with you more. Also sorry that you had to explain that to people via DMs. I know it's something you kinda get used to as a more self-aware avoidant on reddit but that doesn't ma…

That's so funny, I actually wrote "I envy that level of delulu" and changed it to confidence. >It's funny that you mention confidence because that's what this person said. That DAs don't have the con…

Hey everyone, I’d really appreciate some advice or perspective. Yesterday I had an argument with my girlfriend, and it left me feeling pretty low. We hadn’t talked all day, so in the evening I…

It sounds like you communicated your needs pretty well, that takes bravery. It’s not on you to make excuses for or try figure out her mood, it’s on her to communicate her emotions and needs. E.g. “I …

From what you wrote, you're normally pretty good at advocating for yourself. So, are you "testing" him by withholding that self-advocacy? If normally you tell him what you need, this is what he expec…

I posted in last weeks thread about my LDR with my boyfriend (41M) No development has happened since I posted. The way hes acting distance with me and my inability to stop worrying about him and thi…

How do you know if it is your anxious attachment or something about the other person that is making you anxious? I recently dated a guy for two months, one month exclusively. We didn't text between t…

I have the same dynamic, I truly appreciate you sharing because I am FA with a DA and I keep hoping that things will change so I’m trying to make myself more secure. The hardest part for me is framing…

Ive had similar experiences with certain partners, but there was usually something behind it, and it wasnt something I was imagining or making up, maybe try to explore that part, the why. Usually fo…

When I was with my ex, I found myself mostly having doubts while we were spending time together, and while we were apart I would "talk myself back in" to the relationship. With my current partner, I…

Yeah, my older brother was autistic with many extra issues and was incredibly aggressive towards me. I was a smaller girl and could not defend myself but nobody cared. He was the center of the world, …

Since this book gets recommended a lot, even in this thread, I am also making my own comment. This is about *Atttached* by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. This goodreads review by a user named Melody d…

I’d gently suggest paying attention to how he makes you feel. Where I’ve gone wrong in the past is when I’ve dismissed, intellectualised or rationalised my feelings away.

Communicate your need for space. Also include how much time you need etc. That way the other person knows what to expect. I told my ex plenty of times that if she just tells me when she needs space an…

OP, it’s your friend’s responsibility to set the boundary with you in regard to his relationship with the other woman. If the girlfriend is uncomfortable, that’s between him and her. She voiced her op…

I do believe he wants me to be happy and I think you're right - its a 'language barrier' if you will. We did talk and it was kind of dismissed with "you know I love you". I know he's capable because…

I have brought it up and its kind of dismissed with an "you know I love you". I do think there is some internal work too though; just accepting his love languages instead of demanding mine.

Oh yeah. It was sort of dismissed with an "you know I love you". And then when he sent valentine flowers the card with it was completely blank, and I made a joke about him not even expressing feelin…

If you were “dismissed” you’re not happy with him.

The comment was dismissed. He’s not always dismissive of me at all

Good of you for trying! :) In my opinion, the advice of doing things outside is not so much to necessarily to make the activity a dating venue. I feel like the way you seem to have approached it, goi…

Skill issue. You met two women at an animal shelter and immediately dismissed them because they weren’t hot. Star seeing women as people, don’t focus on getting dates but rather on expanding your netw…

The breakup: it’s been a lot of back and forth the past couple of days and it breaks my heart that we both are upset and can’t end things gracefully because we both constantly feel dismissed with each…

As a divorced man, getting into a relationship with a “good on paper” attractive woman who cooks and cares for me and is good in the bedroom sounds like my dream match. If she takes to the internet …

You are probably being ignored. But look at it from his point of view, you tell him you want something steady, then you disappear for a week and don't talk much. Then things get intense and intimate w…

I’m not judging anyone for going with their gut feeling but I suck at texting. I’m much better in person. But it always breaks down in the texting app phase somehow. Something *always* happens. I hope…

>She told me she is simply "exploring herself" while in college I'm sorry to have to tell you that it's over. Your GF should have the decency to tell you but she won't. She is hoping you will be the …

You communicated how you felt, she dismissed you. I don’t see this getting better. Best to explain that and move on while you’re still young and find someone that can respect your feelings or offer re…

You sound like my ex. Did you ever try working things out with her? Did you take responsibility for the things you did that hurt her, and then work on those patterns of behavior that were problematic?…

Thanks for your clarification. It wasn't that long ago when I felt nobody could possibly understand what I was going through. I can't tell you where I found people who understand what this feels lik…

she'll reach out to check in somehow at some point. my guy, literally do nothing and focus on staying and keeping yourself in motion. my domestic ex of 3 years didn't reach out until a year later. i j…

regardless of whether he’s actually sending them or not, the biggest red flag is his complete lack of urgency or empathy about it. if my partner showed me months of abusive messages supposedly coming…

Thank you for taking the time to write all of that. I really appreciate the thought and experience behind what you said. I think you made a really good point about safe people being the ones who help…

So yes, I was not happy with the first two doctors that I had, so I started asking around with other friends that may know of a good doctor that I could use. And if I didn’t like whoever it was, I jus…

If you still want to give tge relationship another try, maybe try properly teach them, as if they were a kid. For real. That's what my boyfriend did for me. Every couple has a different dynamic and I …

Emotional safety takes time but a man who has a good level of emotional intelligence is needed for me. To be listened to, heard and also for them to be equally as open without the need for being hugel…

My parents were ok with my chorus involvement, though my father was a trombonist and somewhat biased against vocal music. I tried learning 2 different instruments but finally realized music isn't real…

I agree with you. I tried it for 4 years and switched therapist too. It doesn’t work for me. I was sexually abused as a child and when I shared that (I was 6 and the person who abused me was 15) the t…

It's worth pointing out the often dismissed difference between the novely of "falling in love", and the committed support of "being in love", and all that entails. Another obvious fact is people chan…

The fact that you can pause, evaluate, and prevent deactivation is a feat in itself. You should be proud of yourself. Now comes the challenging part: being able to trust your internal compass (is this…

I'm sorry to hear that you dealt with that too. No one should be dismissed like that in a relationship, especially when the dismissal is just silence to sit in alone. I'm glad you chose yourself, and …

I took LSD and listened to Gateway on my headphones as I walked through the park for three hours. Two days later, I woke up (it was still dark out) and saw what I believe to be a nj drone in the dis…

Huh? Growing up I only seen to Asian doctors. Even now I only see Asians if I can help it, including for mental health. Maybe because I’m a woman, I avoid white doctors, especially white women, at al…

Why the fuck are you with this man? If my partner regularly commented on my health to try and control what I did and ate (especially as you are literally WELL within healthy parameters) and brought me…

This is why I tell people to fight like hell for their marriages because that’s what good spouses do.  If it comes still after you’ve done everything in your power then you have an easy conscience kn…