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Citations (101)
Well, first off you're only 46. My advice is take some time off. I don't believe in the concept of "the one" or even that people belong paired up necessarily, so maybe that's easier for me. I have da…
Start Here: Essential Resources & FAQs — The idea for this post came up in [this thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/Wordpress/comments/1cpme25/mods_can_this_subreddit_implement_a_minimum_karma/) by wiz to avoid the number of similar questions …
Question about POSM — In chapter 9 Murphy suggests simply repeating the word “wealth” over and over 3/4 times a day to attract wealth- he claims this method works because it does not contradict your conscious mind’s assump…
Power of The Subconscious — Hello, I'd like to start this off by saying I've been a part of various subreddits that go around the topic of manifestation. The one sense of direction I've gotten was from this sub, which was to ac…
The "and" theory... — I saw this a few days ago and started to implement it, I can't tell you how much it has allowed me to have more compassion for myself, create a clearer head and process my emotions. The and theory is…
Even as an FA the one thing I'll never understand about avoidants is how they can hate someone they cared about a week ago. — I was reflecting and journaling on my past relationships, and taking full responsibility for past mistakes. I'm an FA so there were times when I thought I needed external validation to feel whole, and…
Best Practice HTTP Status Code for Proxy-Level Content Validation Failure? — Working on an API gateway/proxy that sits in front of APIs. The proxy adds its own validation layer (toxicity, etc). I'm wrestling with an API design choice: when my **proxy's** validation rules bloc…
Question for the template flippers out there - where’s the real money? — Genuinely curious - for all the devs who “custom build” sites that are clearly just recycled templates from ThemeForest or whatever the latest place is nowadays. Where’s the *actual* money coming fro…
Total Newb: Backlinks & keyword research — I’m trying to launch my new company website and really don’t have the budget to pay someone to do socials and the website. Been building it out myself on Wordpress with the help of AIOSEO plugins. …
Does this SEO strategy make sense ? — Hello experts ! Recently, I came across an SEO expert (have some good proof) that talked about the seo strategy that she used, but I'm not sure if I understand it correctly. The strategy goes as fol…
Interview for associate devops role, not sure how it went, need opinions — I had a technical discussion with with a smaller company(around 100-200 employees) and they are filling out a new devops team. I have 7 YOE at large tech companies as a software engineer, but my dutie…
My co-founder decided to quit: I'm stuck and could really use some advice | I will not promote — Hey All, A few months ago, I shared my story here (original Reddit post in comments) about starting an IT consultancy business in the Netherlands with a friend right after graduation. At that time, w…
How to Wreck Your Career: a cautionary tale from someone who has 5 years of experience.. — Context:- I am a 31 year old UX designer with a masters degree in industrial design from one of the top design schools here in India. I have almost 6 years of experience on the paper of which I hav…
Why do most tech billionaires avoid flashy lifestyles—are there any who embrace extravagance? I will not promote — I’ve always noticed the contrast between how different the tech entrepreneurs are compared to the others who are in finance, fashion, entertainment, or property. It is almost the expectation in the ot…
Do you feel bad working for gambling industries? — I’ve been working in the tech side of the gambling industry for a couple of years now—think online sports betting, virtual casinos, that kind of thing. The pay is good and the company treats employees…
Are you running Exit surveys? — When your wife asks, “Does my bum look big in this?” Do you give the honest answer? Or do you say “no” to keep the peace? The truth might sting. But the people who tell you what you need to hear are …
Anyone feel like managing money as a solopreneur is just… a constant headache? — Between juggling invoices, taxes, and never-ending paperwork, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. What’s the one financial task you wish you could make disappear? Or is there a trick you’ve found that actu…
How do I report a Shopify store? — I placed a large order using the SHOP app. Not only was my order wrong but the contact email for the store is wrong and so is the email on the website. It comes back with an “address not found” from m…
Underestimated fulfillment in my eCommerce startup, nearly paid the price — When I launched my first eCommerce brand, I thought fulfillment was "easy" find a product, set up a store, ship orders. Simple, right? I couldn’t have been more wrong. As soon as we got traction, thi…
Need Help Integrating Custom OpenAI Assistant in WordPress Chatbot — Hello, Reddit! I’m working on integrating a custom-built OpenAI assistant into a WordPress site and could really use some help. The chatbot is supposed to interact with users, respond to questions, a…
Know any upcoming design hackathons (no coding required)? — Hey everyone! 👋 I’ve been looking for **design-focused hackathons**, but most of the ones I’ve come across are primarily for developers and require coding skills—which I don’t have. I’m a designer…
Spent 1 year solving a problem users “loved” but wouldn’t pay for: my learnings [I will not promote] — We are 2 years into building our SaaS, but spent 1 year building something people “loved”, “were excited about”... yet did not pay for. Since then, we have slightly pivoted and gained traction, but I …
Every day I try to do things right. Every day they say no. Now I duct-tape and maintain the mess I warn them about — Hey folks, Just wanted to drop this little gem of corporate masochism So I work at this company where we develop software for real state agencies, in this 'properties' sql table we have a field cal…
The ones making money from a business (even if not millions) — How did you find the customer need, or gap you serve now through your business? Through work experience, or any other "channel"?
Found out my friend and her coworkers are stealing money from their job — My friend works at a small franchise location that is a self serve food place. The amount of staff is small (8) and I recently found out that the they all essentially steal money. The owner doesn’t li…
Should I starting selling products? I'm working at a temp job soon to be over or wait till I find a ft job? — Hi everyone. I have an llc for my small online business. I want to sell digital products on etsy. However, I'm currently working at a temp job which work is becoming much slower. Although, my end dat…
FA trying to be more secure, need some insigh on relationship to have "fresh eyes" on it and not just my insecure one — Hi, So, I'm FA and my partner is secure. We're living together and are together for 9month now, it's going good and we're doing our best in the healthiest way to navigate the complicated stuff (I hav…
🛑STOP HIJACKING POSTS🛑 — 📣Saying it loudly for the people in the back. I know this post is going to have a “vibe” but being warm and fuzzy has never worked so I’m trying to be crystal clear and firm here: Recently there h…
Feeling smothered by an AP friend… — This is part reflection/observation, and part question at the bottom. It’s interesting and a bit funny to me, I rarely feel avoidant in my attachments. The test I took for this sub, showed all secur…
If I could just stop deactivating!! (FA) — Follow up from some of my previous posts. I’m deactivating again. I think? Or maybe lost feelings for my partner and I’m just lying to myself and not wanting to let go. The thought of that makes me cr…
Starting over — Heya, I don’t want this to be a negative thread— looking for some positivity and hope maybe? I (34F) am recently out of a one year relationship. It was my first secure relationship in my entire adult…
Help me to recognise my attachment style please! — I (26F) am struggling with this a lot, since my patterns of romantic behavior don’t seem to fit neatly into any of the four categories (AA, FA, DA, SA). On the one hand, I clearly crave intimacy and…
A message to earnestly curious skeptics and non-experiencers: How to engage experiencers within this community and learn about the topic. — We are seeing an increase of activity from people outside of experiencer circles in threads as time has moved on and more and more people are starting to understand there really is a "there there" and…
Having trouble differentiating between anxious attachment / normal needs, feeling lost and alone — First Reddit post here! (It's a long one, I just really need a place to put it all down and get some support, so thank you). I (19F) got out of my first long term relationship about 3 months ago. It l…
What would one call this attachment style? — I feel as tho I'm a pretty particular mix, cause I'm not exactly healthy, but the other labels don't exactly resonate either. I suppose it roots from two main things. One, I was bullied and ostracized…
How do you get over the need to be asked/the other person to initiate to prove you are wanted? — I think sometimes I get too fixated on people not being the one to initiate something I want with them which makes me feel they probably don't really wanna do it with me. Like asking to hang out, play…
How to deal with triggering situations — Life has been so rough lately when living with anxious attachment in a relationship. Everyday is a struggle. We had an explosive argument yesterday which left me even more on edge than normal. To put …
Physical Reaction — I will try to keep the backstory short. I had not known anxious attachment was a thing or that one of my coworkers had become one of only a couple people I really felt a deep connection to, until a f…
Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…
Unsent letter to a prior ex, in the midst of a current breakup. — I am in a crash course on my own nervous system while in the midst of a breakup with a dismissive avoidant man I've loved for almost five years. I'd known about the anxious-avoidant trap for some time…
Dating someone with a fearful-avoidant style has been unexpectedly… gentle? — I wanted to share a relationship experience that’s been genuinely interesting and surprisingly positive, especially for FAs and anyone curious about FA dynamics. If you are not interested in some per…
Avoidance seeking help: what if he’s not avoidant like me, but he actually just has a girlfriend he didn’t tell me about? — Been in contact with a guy for about 6 months now who has been pursuing me the entire time, subtly. When we first met, I had just broken up with my ex a couple of months prior to that (6-month long…
For those hurting, advice for your 2026 and my story — Hello everyone, **Preface** I am an anxious attacher, so my experience by-and-large is with dismissive avoidants and fearful avoidants. It is not my intent to villainize these attachment styles; thi…
What qualities to look for in a therapist — Previously, I had been working with a somatic therapist for 6 years (on trauma healing, not specifically attachment related) and a few months ago they closed their practice for personal reasons on *ve…
A letter to my FA Ex — I don’t even know why I’m writing anymore. I don’t know why I still pour my feelings onto paper when the person they’re meant for has emotionally switched off. Maybe this isn’t for you. Maybe it’s jus…
i feel safe with being almost loved | disorganized attachment style anthem | i want love but i'm scared | (cathartic release) — Lyrics: Love, for me, is just a hallway, Soft light, shadows drifting slow. I see a silhouette approaching Then I turn before my heart can get too close. Sometimes I feel a brush of something ten…
A letter to my fearful avoidant ex — 31st December 2025 So here we are. Another night, another thought. It’s been nearly 25 days since Eddie left me. Recently, so many emotions have been running through my mind. I never thought I would…
Letter to my ex — **7th February 2026** “You will find me, right?” That sentence is the last sentence. The one that always stays with me. Every single day I think about it, and I think that’s why I know what I have t…
Deactivation or undisclosed breakup? — I'm a FA woman...in a relationship with a dismissive avoidant....all was good, until past Christmas holidays , his bday and all situations when they deactivated.. he was the one who planned being wit…
Book club — Update 3: here’s the link: [https://discord.gg/JQm7FtB5H](https://discord.gg/JQm7FtB5H) Does anyone wanna do a “codependency no more” book club w me? I’ve been listening to the book on audio so it’s …
Trying to navigate a "casual" relationship — Hi everyone, I (30F, trans) have been talking to/seeing a woman (24F, cis) for about 5 months. The chemistry is legitimately the strongest I’ve ever experienced - emotional, intellectual, creative, s…
>Correction: Neville taught to “feel as if”. There were many New Thought authors that taught their students to “act as if”, but Neville primarily taught how to impress your subconscious mind using sle…
I’ve read all Nevilles books several times over, but I’ll check out the lecture you’re referring to. About my successes, I manifested more money than I had ever seen before. Prior to that, I thought…
>About my successes, I manifested more money than I had ever seen before. Prior to that, I thought I’d always be broke. I even had to take a screenshot of my bank balance to remind myself of that amaz…
Oh yes. You're right. He took some time. But still, he managed to do alot in a relatively short time. If his tales are true, his is a good example to emulate. (Except that I wouldn't do the nightly m…
Maybe you could be the one dreaming right now 👀
a) law of assumption, not law of belief. And where did you get the other descriptions from? I've been on Neville sub for a while, literally noone describes the law in those words or speak in a spiritu…
What if I’m the one being eaten by the silence??
Super curious now. Why'd the ex of yours from 10 years ago contact you? I've always known the ones who wait years & years before contacting, to be completely pathetic. Its usually because no one els…
Yea! My ex is doing the same thing, I went no contact after HE said he needed time and space. He’s the one who broke up with me. he continues to text me and add me on Instagram every other day. I dele…
Duck them especially the ones who used you during their break or a short time until their need dries out and with no trace or care they disappear
But what am I supposed to do if I'm the one going crazy from all this silence?
This just gives hope to me that maybe she is, or maybe she really isn't the one. And the simplest solution is just to work on your self. I'll take this one by heart and maybe, maybe it will be fine af…
What is the one book that is absolutely necessary?
I really do not know anything about this at all. I went to sleep at around 1130pm last night, I woke up feeling nauseous and sweaty at 530am. At around 630am I remembered my “dream?” I was floating/fl…
Am I handling it with grace or strength, though? I'm completely torn apart and can hardly eat. I have to force myself to. The one thing I'm proud of is minimizing how much anger I feel over the betra…
Reddit has been very clear that commercial apps like Apollo, RIF, etc will not be whitelisted on accessibility grounds. Seems like you’re the one not telling the whole story > “We’ve connected with …
Oof. I feel that... I think what's worse is I know I *could* have, and it would have helped save my marriage. But to do it now, without the support of the one person I thought I could rely on to help…
Exactly, I'm having the exact same struggle. The kind of personal growth that I need to make now is exactly the kind that I need my best friend/partner/cheerleader to help me through, but he's the one…
What if you’re the one that messed up? Bad… we have a son together… its been a year and the guilt is eating me alive. I still live her too… i really want to talk to her and apologize. I understand tha…
This is very disingenuous of you. Of course this sub’s for interaction—but only quality ones. You know, the ones where people actually think. Take your half-baked assumptions to the ng sub.
Yup you’re the one I was trying to reply to on that post about the lottery. You think things should only look one way and can only be manifested in one way and that’s a fallacy and a limited belief. T…
1. Daydreaming that makes you feel emotional isn’t what Murphy or Goddard are talking about. It is about feeling the reality of what you want to have happen now, that is the feeling. Emotions might co…
It literally is, look at that essay you wrote. You’re overcomplicating things and applying 3D thinking to something that really has little to do with the 3D. The 3D is merely the result of all of this…
She’s the one that started it. It is true that it’s preventing her from progress, and she needs to know it. As of 2025, there is no irrefutable proof. If you’re going to call something “daft,” call …
>She’s the one that started it. What are you, 2 years old ? You don't put forth circular arguments in proper debates about anything, ever. That is corrupt and basically lazy. > >As of 2025, there …
And sorry, ap is dreaming. If it was different, those of us who rarely or dont dream would be able to do it. But this is not the case. Either that or the ones who dwell in the infinite darkness of u…
If it comes to new age stuff like LOA/LOB/Law of assumption I actually agree with you to a certain degree but not entirely. So let me explain where I disagree. Most people who follow Joseph Murphy, LO…
This is the one. I'd also add that attachment doesn't just stop at partners — it's also at play at work, friendships, family relationships/siblings, and even children. It's really fucking hard to be …
Irritating the ones you love, polysecure (because it deals with a lot of attachment education), women who love too much, polyvagal theory and exercises, legit anything to do with different therapies— …
Exactly. OP is the one (yet another man) who hates women bc mommy didn't love him. This whole post is projection deluxe. Yet refuses to actually work on that (when so many of us do this SUPER painf…
The one that fucked me up the most was an FA I don't bother with avoidants. She showed really strong in the beginning, but after we had sex and it started feeling real she ran. Makes it hurt more. The…
I understand. Glad you are working through those feelings. I hope I did not come off judgemental. I definitely don't think that your feelings are irrational (I might agree with the inappropriate part …
I know this is difficult to do, but my advice, as an anxious who's moving towards secure, would be to stop texting and calling. It's only been a few days and you know that he was having phone problems…
Yes, he did consider me his girlfriend. He was the one who brought up that conversation. I met all of his friends via Facetime. He would always call me when he was out with them. He even called me whe…
Yes, absolutely. I believe that we all have the capability to devolve into the worst versions of ourselves when under extreme stress, which the SA definitely qualified for me, and on my more understa…
My lil cousin(20F) was having relationship issues- she is an avoidant and he is an anxious. I pointed this pattern out and she said, "My therapist said the same, does having this attachment mean I'll …
Is he actively in therapy and taking concrete steps to address his issues? Because you're here asking how you can fix him, but it's not your job, it's not your place, and it's not within your abiliti…
Living through this right now. Was dating a DA last year and I really liked her, but she would put me down and be generally disrespectful at times. She would often say things that minimized our relati…
The ones you use yourself at work, or the ones you'd want to use but are not allowed to.
There are good articles out there on scaling mariadb. Most of them start by understanding the mix of writes and reads. They end by softening the ACID constraints. Either by sharding and routing requ…
I would start small like charity shops and flipping the items or vinted and depop and taking better pictures and flipping the items for more, then you move onto trying to get the one time drop things …
Preach, brother! That's what I was saying to my friends for years. Don't listen to (almost) anybody. In the SaaS industry (that's the one I am familiar with) I think only Rob Walling (Microconf, Tin…
I feel like this might be a bad advice for someone leaning more avoidant than you because simply other person being secure does not work in vast majority of cases. It’s not that FA’s partner making th…
>Also DAs fear closeness and vulnerability so it makes more sense that they don't wanna fall in love. 😉 I think a lot of DAs DO want to fall in love, like anyone. That's why they can be intense at f…
It's cuz the ones who are available on apps, u know u will eventually have to form connections with them. The ones who already are occupied, u tend to form emotional attachments cuz u know they are no…
In my experience with DAs it's hard to have empathy for the ones who make themselves victims in every situation; especially those who take everything as a criticism or judgement against themselves.
What if I get hurt by someone pulling away but I'm always the one pulling away
preach. went through it as well and I was the one who got out broken in the end. Run.
Yes my own experiences, but also if you read comments/posts not just from Reddit, you will find very common themes across the board with relationships with avoidants, the truth is it’s very difficult …
Haha, I'm not looking for an applause, just sharing what worked for me. Maybe it might help someone else, maybe it might not. Anyhow, for me, bending over backwards would be to give into their needs …