peace

Well, basically I am not communicating with my dad. I tried but there is nothing coming from him. Says he doesn't like texting amd such. The only time I hear from him, as I mentioned, is when I have a…

A Procedural Update for the Continued Health of Our Subreddit. — Hey everyone on r/NarcissisticAbuse.  We get it, we really do– the U.S. political situation right now is a bloody mess with further escalation, rather than some kind of stability, on the horizon.  W…

What to Say When You’re Not the Cheapest Option (And Someone Pushes Back on Price) — I will not promote. This is a best practice I've found in my own works.So, you’re having a great conversation with a potential client and then you get hit with that line: “I know someone who can do it…

Are you running Exit surveys? — When your wife asks, “Does my bum look big in this?” Do you give the honest answer? Or do you say “no” to keep the peace? The truth might sting. But the people who tell you what you need to hear are …

How much space do DA avoidants need when deactivating? — I (M,21, Secure) and my *girlfriend* (F, 21, DA), been dating for 6 months (however both agreed to not proclaim it a relationship yet) and right about 6 month mark she began deactivating (sudde…

This is what happens when your FA ex comes back — This is my personal experience for those who are curious. Of course everyone will be different but I thought it might help those who are waiting or wishing (APs I'm talking mostly to you) Firstly the…

I (re)earned my secure attachment this week. What a journey this has been. — I just wanted to share this diary dump with anyone who wants a success story. I believed myself to be FA/A for a long time, and this week I can finally call myself secure. TW: sexual assualt Despite …

Help me to recognise my attachment style please! — I (26F) am struggling with this a lot, since my patterns of romantic behavior don’t seem to fit neatly into any of the four categories (AA, FA, DA, SA). On the one hand, I clearly crave intimacy and…

Not spiralling for not talking to my bf for days now!! — Felt a lil happy so decided to share here. Few months back, if I was in the same situation as now I know that i would have been spiralling and spam calling him. I'm happy it's not the same now. Tho ye…

I have become obsessed with finding someone. — After my breakup in winter of last year, I went through a long period of mourning and not knowing what to do or how to move forward. Now, over the past 2-3 months, I have become obsessed with finding …

Can a FA-DA relationship work? — My partners have been dismissive avoidant or fearful avoidant, so I have always leaned anxious ig. In my last relationship, I felt secure at the start, it was nice, we set boundaries.. till it happene…

How do i stop the cycle of freaking out when im away from my partner? — When me and my partner dont see eachother for a long time, i just shut down. Everyday were apart the urge to pick apart every message is so strong and eventually when its too much, i just break down. …

For having struggled with an anxious attachment in an earlier relationship, how does it feel for you to become more secure in a much different or more compatible relationship you are in now? — I am quite curious to hear if there are others who are at a place in their life still in their own "wound care" (healing) of being outside of an anxiously attached situation or of a previous unhealthy…

For those hurting, advice for your 2026 and my story — Hello everyone, **Preface** I am an anxious attacher, so my experience by-and-large is with dismissive avoidants and fearful avoidants. It is not my intent to villainize these attachment styles; thi…

Today marks 6 months since we last saw and spoke to each other — As the person on the receiving end of testing behaviors, ghosting, and a discard, I would love to hear that my former flame is doing well or even an apology. We have known each other for almost…

a song about longing for something that never was - disorganized attachment style edition (cathartic release) — Lyrics: I’m standing at a wishing well, One coin trembling in my hand, A promise pressed against my palm, A truth I barely understand. They told me I was unworthy, Long before I learned my name,…

Any podcasts and/or books on toxic workplace from avoidant perspective? — Most things people keep recommending include gray rocking, which I'm already prone to. I'm cordial and actually fairly social, but there to work. The person that I'm having issues with expects me to…

I'm so tired of people. — For reference, a couple of years ago, I was in an abusive relationship that kinda changed who I am. I won't go into too much detail, but let's just say that I used to be outgoing and fun, but also I h…

March 2026 Astrology: Transits, Key Dates, and More — **Last month’s write-up, I ended with this,** *“Let’s just say we end the month in a chaotic state of energy. Nothing seems real while at the same time, there is a sense of urgency that something need…

One month of Neville’s teachings and I finally feel at peace about money — I’ve been in this community for about a month now mostly reading, learning, and celebrating everyone’s wins. I have to say, it’s been a real game changer for me. I’ve always been someone who worried …

Recovery. I don’t care to be in a relationship.. did he break me or is this healthy? — 1 year and 2 months! Getting better (and who ever said this is a quick recovery is wrong this takes a lot of time, dedication, work and lots of waves of emotions.) Things are mentally getting better …

Do narcs enjoy kissing? — It took me a while to realize that my nex never enjoyed kissing. There was this one episode where I waited till bed time to tell him "hey, it's been a while 😏" and he turned to the other side and sai…

Experienced ego dissolution and timelessness while a friend spiraled into a bad trip believing we were communicating through “waves” — I wanted to share a recent experience because the contrast between my trip and my friend’s bad trip was extremely interesting, and I’m curious if others have seen similar dynamics in group trips. We …

I (28F) cut off my in-laws after how they treated me before and during my wedding, but I get anxious when my husband (27M) still talks to them. How do I move on? — TL;DR: My mother-in-law and sisters-in-law insulted me, fat-shamed and color-shamed me before our wedding and caused major drama during the wedding itself. Now they act sweet in front of my husband. I…

It does get better (dumped by an avoidant) (personal advice that helped me) — Too anyone who deems themselves as a hopeless romantic, anxiously attached, etc, this may relate to you. After three months of what I thought was the worst time of my life, it truly gets better. T…

Why Manifestation can FEEL Forced and Unrealistic (Success & Guidance) — Today I came upon a realization that many people do not have for most of their lives. It was the realization that our feelings and the meanings that we attach to them are also affirmations. Right no…

My boyfriend and I had an argument over his marriage demands, and now he claims he means none of it... — Tl:dr: My boyfriend of two years has a list of requirements from me after we get married, and after our argument over it, which lead us to break up-- he said he didn't mean any of it and wants to go …

Cannabis vs. Mushrooms [My Experience] — So I'll start off by saying I'm not very experienced and have multiple psychotic and/or disassociative disorders plus a medical card But I'm surprised at my take away when using the medical marijuana…

DA healing update: searching my true self, my inner child finally seen — Some of you may know me at this point. I'm (40M) dismissive avoidant, my wife fearful avoidant (41F), together 17 years, married 13 years, 3 children. I've been working on my attachment style for 5 mo…

Experiences With Cosmic Entities. — Hello everyone! This post will be a little bit different, as i wish to dive into odd encounters that i had with different beings, that surprisingly helped me out a *lot* - more than i could have possi…

Had the most intensely beautiful lucid dream and now real life feels blurry — I was flying over an endless ocean made of liquid starlight. Every breath I took filled me with an overwhelming sense of peace I have never felt while awake. The colors were more vivid than anything i…

I (28F) gave my boyfriend (29M) an STD and I can’t stop feeling so ashamed and guilty — My boyfriend and I met on tinder a couple of months ago and everything has been so great. We get along wonderfully and we have such a good time together. I was sexually active with a couple of people …

Unexpected emotional shift after Adventure - Five Messages. Has anyone experienced something similar? — Hi everyone, I wanted to share something that happened recently and see if anyone here has had a similar experience. For some context, I recently went through the end of a **10 year relationship**. …

People whose parents only seemed to notice you when you achieved something and didn’t really accept you as you were — did you end up loving yourself once you reached real undeniable success? — Or did the inner critic never actually shut up? All my life I’ve thought that if I reach undeniable heights, then I’ll finally feel at peace and accept myself. But my perfectionism keeps me from ta…

Being kind isn't just nice...it's smart...b/c we live in an environment made of each other. — Think of it like a fish swimming in an ocean made of other fish. Everything we do as we move through this world...for our little bit of time here...relies on other people helping us, often in ways we…

When did you finally realise, your life would never be ‘normal’? — I am 47M I grew up in an EXTREMELY dysfunctional household, with every type of abuse you can imagine, and death of a parent at 12. I’ve had to fend for myself since that age, whilst being used and a…

Covert narcissists are drawn to people with a strong instinct to help and care. — I grew up early. Owning Responsibilities that weren't mine. I learned that love was earned through being useful, stable, and selfless. I became the person people brought their chaos to. The one who a…

The feeling of spring. — This may or may not be related to the sub, but I have felt that the energy/essence of spring and summer came a little too early this year. It was around late February/early March when this feeling cam…

Become Indifferent Neville says. But it's easier said than done. My Tips. — If you want to be in charge of your creations you have to become indifferent to your own reactions. And it sounds easy until someone triggers the bejeezus out of you. Politics, your mother in law, pe…

My AM is a stupid fucking snitch — Any time I tell my AM anything that I want her to keep between us, she’s always snitched to my AD. But whenever she wants me to keep a secret from my AD, I am somehow expected to follow that same secr…

My mom called my son’s birthday party “f***ing embarrassing” because she cares more about what people think than celebrating him — **UPDATE:** Thank you to everyone who commented and shared advice. A lot of people suggested going no contact with my mom to protect myself and my son. I understand why people said that, but I want …

No contact year 6 update: — Hello everyone! I’ve made some update posts in the past and figured I would make one for year 6 as that anniversary is coming up soon, and with context it will make sense why I still specifically reme…

I’ve been with a narc for 5 years and I don’t recognize myself anymore. How do I get "me" back? — I’m writing this because I feel completely lost. I’ve been with a narcissistic partner for 5 years, and looking in the mirror is scary because I don’t know the person looking back. I used to be jovia…

It worked! — I worked out yesterday, then I did the meditation with the energy healing colors. You know, green for peace, purple for healing, red for power. Today my knee hurt from the exercise. I warmed up, wor…

First Acid Trip (2 tabs) — This happened like a month ago and sorry if it comes off corny: At first, I was just lying in my bed, nervous. My roommate wasn’t back yet, and the walls slowly started to breathe and layer with col…

Spiritual Awakening & Instant Manifestation (wtf???) — So as the title says, wtf? I've been using multiple different ways of manifesting, manifesting with feeling, robotic affirming, and I've realized one thing. Manifesting is an act of creation that …

Choosing myself feels like betraying my family, but staying feels like losing my life — I’m 21F, Bengali, and coming from a strict Muslim family who are very traditional where marrying outside the culture is almost unheard of. All of my siblings had arranged marriages, and my parents hav…

Fed up with this — Hello, As the title really. Fed up of manifesting, the only thing that is manifesting in my life is shit. I've tried everything, LOA, living in the end, reading 'the secret '. Subs, self concept…

The quiet house is the hardest part and nobody warned me — Divorce has been final for about 3 months now and I think Im starting to realize what hits me the hardest. Its not the legal stuff. Its not even the arguments with my ex anymore. Its coming home to a …

Friend said something that shocked me and explained everything... — Edit: added an extra story to the bottom since this post seemed to resonate with people so much. Be strong folks, you're no one's NPC. You can go back and find a lot of my story on my page, but essen…

If you're reading this, you're gonna make it. — Hey, you. yeah YOU. I know what you're going through. Nobody is on this sub because they're having a good time of it. I know that, because 4 years ago I was in the exact same place. Any advice you rea…

Oh God. Way to generalize people. This blanket statement and judgemental attitude shows that you have not even understood the principal basics of neither Nevilles nor Joseph's teachings. Really weird…

This was so helpful to me. I’d be interested to learn more about the potential effects of a parent who was always physically present, but whose emotional availability varied to extremes for the first …

Yeah, I feel so much at peace now that I decided I am moving on and not looking back. Fuck him.

What if I ruined the chance of possibly not getting back together due to me being an emotional abuser??For example, she broke up with me because of unhappiness, goal of finishing her college degree, a…

This is so interesting to read.. I was looking up astral projection and this reminded me of a recurring dream I had as a kid. I was a princess running along a path. It splits, and if I went Into the w…

I’ve done this when I was 10 peaceful ride for me just float around 100 acres. Just figured I was insane until CIA said it’s real .

No contact is NOT about getting the ex back! It’s about truly moving on, breaking free mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It’s about freeing yourself and truly letting go. It’s not meant to be a …

She probably can’t I know my spouse can buy way more than me and yea it’s hurtful at times but one thing for sure is….i couldn’t buy the Peace of mind body and spirit that my divorce purchased. ✌🏾✌�…

What has been bouncing around in my head is “why does the parent do this? Why can they not just do the bare minimum?” which has made me contemplate if they have had their own share of abuse, or a ment…

PLEASE READ IF YOUR LOOKING INTO ASTRAL PROJECTING. About 2 months ago I was looking extremely deep into astral projecting, once I seen what it was I was instantly drawn to it and thought it was inter…

1. Mental thoughts don’t become physical reality. Beliefs do. Repetitive mental thoughts turn into beliefs. 2. People in your world reflect your beliefs. Perhaps upon meeting someone you had an origi…

to answer your second question, I like to do a body scan and feel where I feel the emotion. I don’t see them as bad things rather as guidance from my body speaking to me. I say “these are emotions fro…

I think it really depends on the partner and how willing they are to communicate. In my last relationship I was avoidant leaning secure and my partner was preoccupied. There were certain things I thou…

If you want to talk, I invite DMs but I'm only here sporadically. I'm a healed avoidant. I say that, but it's not black and white. I measure now for mostly secure. I still experience the initial resp…

What have you done to resolve your fear of commitment, your emotional unavailability and the inferiority complex? Why are you searching for excitement from a partner? What does that mean to you? Is i…

Feel all the emotions! But, when only the good keeps you stuck on rumination, remind yourself of why it couldn't/ didn't work out! It's very easy CBT, that is incredibly effective and offers a peace …

thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. in my experiences i was chased and pursued. i think of my past romantic relationships as miscommunications based on skewed beliefs and perceptions …

I think your self-respect and self-protection grew because you finally chose yourself when you decided to protect your peace against your toxic family member. I'm proud of you.

The problem is FA flips from hot to cold. When I was finally at peace with things and about to leave her alone. She came up to me at a party and danced with me and said she appropriated me. I asked …

Yes, absolutely. I believe that we all have the capability to devolve into the worst versions of ourselves when under extreme stress, which the SA definitely qualified for me, and on my more understa…

My mistake. I must have misunderstood that. I’m sorry. I still stand by my comment- you can’t always spot an avoidant. The walls they build to ice us out are not “up” until something triggers them. M…

So he's great when he's not triggered, but he gets triggered every couple of weeks. That's not a rare occurrence, it's very often. Replace this with any other issue whether attachment related or not…

You can help him by helping him help himself. (Now that's a crazy sentence) He has to take responsibility for his behavior. That includes finding a way to stop taking shit out on you. Now is the t…

I’ve been having a similar experience with my ex. He ended things suddenly over text in December last year, and we haven’t spoken since then. But when we have to see each other (at work), he acts like…

I had something kinda similar happen recently, and I totally understand why you're hurt over it! I can't even imagine that situation, honestly. Mine was different (and still is) because we met online …

Great observation. Ever since I've had a situationship with an avoidant, I came to notice this a lot in songs. I've heard them written seemingly from the perspective of each side... more commonly anx…

Hi OP. I [25M] had VERY similar experience recently with the girl [25F] I was dating. It basically was the same as you described but in a shorter time frame - 2 months, and also we had sex twice. Ho…

The first question is, why does the drugs trigger you? What are you imagining or feeling when they talk about it. Logically, it's just part of their past. If it was something that could happen again o…

Funnily enough a situationship dismissive avoidant got upset with me when I said  i just need space, he thought I was blaming him for my feelings and I said no I need time to process my feelings... in…

This seems like you’re taking normal boundaries and attributing malice to them… If i feel someone is hurting me more than helping or asking for more than they are willing to give, i have every right t…

Have you looked into how you express your own avoidant tendencies? The way you're rationalizing behavior that is proven to harm relationships and people (e.g. silent treatment and witholding resolutio…

I was also the hopeless romantic that's why I held on for so long. Nowadays I feel so free from everyone's expectations, I want to improve my life and feel good in it, I no longer think that only a ro…

I actually agree with a lot of this. I used to be a completely unaware avoidant. Shut down, withdrew, pushed away people who loved me and then blamed them for needing too much. And for a long time, I…

You’ve taken the first (huge) step which is self reflection, congrats! A good therapist really is best, BUT there are many other resources to help. 1) Start regularly meditating (5-10 minutes a day…

I suppose I’m scared of therapy because I don’t want to take any medication for other issues and I don’t trust the therapist. They’re just a person too, they’d likely harbor judgment and opinions agai…

I was in a similar position, ruminating for more than a year excessively about a relatively short relationship, feeling guilty about not being understanding and patient enough. And that’s the point I …

Hi! Yeah! Now that should just feel like a truth to you that you are in a wonderful relationship. Let go of the fear and doubt and let in peace. Trust all that you want is on the way or your already. …

I believe "closure" is something we give ourselves - not "get" from a serial abuser. With respect, what good is "needing to know". Whatever the reasons, it most likely won't make sense to us and it op…

Honestly, props to him. He took the time to reflect. He wrote an emotional/vulnerable message, which for Avoidants isn't easy, and then he actually sent it. He didn't pressure you, blame you, or do an…

After being away for some time, the nervous system regulates and they make decisions from a calm safe space. And realize that they should (maybe) not have left the relationship, they were too rash, wh…

Ignore him. Don't say anything to him, block him if you can or just ignore him. It's not nice to play with other people's peace. If you are having a relationship, dating or something, you know that …

The thing is the more I have aged and worked on myself getting higher self esteem and confidence, the more I have self reflected and become more aware of myself, the more I have slowly recognised the …

God I feel this. My brains always on OT watching out, monitoring the threats of other's psychology against my happiness and goals. I'm currently getting trauma therapy and where I see this heading is …

Yeah, I feel you my friend. That hypervigilance that's always sort of "on" under the surface. And what makes it harder to overcome is the fact that we can point to all these instances where that hyp…

Yeah… I had a rough time with my DA ex but he never suggested sleeping with anyone while we took some time apart. As for how long, it depends on the person. He usually didn’t need more than a week b…

For OP to protect their peace and avoid the emotional vampire.

Like the things i was worried about my parents, my spouse, my children - they don't really bother me anymore. I am not worried that i will be abandoned, i know i am loved. I know i don't need to shut …

Yeah i think her nervous system needs to calm down for now and reset. I think she will run faster too. If that gives you a peace of mind then do it, but definitely don’t do it if you just want to get …

Okay, this is long and it might sound harsh, but I relate to a lot of what you're going through and acted much in the same way as you did, and I've gone from anxiously attached within a friendship to …

Is feeling deep peace during my visualization powerful enough? Or do I need to cultivate that more outwardly joyous, excited, "dancing and laughing" kind of happiness for my manifestation to work?