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Hurt people hurt people

r/EmotionalNeglectUpdated 30 days ago
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Why were my parents strict about small things but avoided teaching important life skills?

To me the following succinct phrase comes to mind: hurt people hurt people. *"Hurt people hurt people" is a phrase explaining that* *individuals with unresolved pain, trauma, or neglect often pass th…

r/EmotionalNeglectcomment4/4/2026
No one should suffer because we have trauma.

Hurt people hurt people. Is it wrong? Yep, but they do. All we can do is try to be better individuals and keep strong boundaries that If we are disrespected we can walk away. I always try to remember…

r/attachment_theorycomment5/30/2025
How much space do DA avoidants need when deactivating?

No, it’s not normal to ask for that much space. The idea that dismissive avoidants “need space” gets thrown around a lot, but here’s the truth: that need for space usually comes from emotional overwhe…

r/attachment_theorycomment7/7/2025
How much space do DA avoidants need when deactivating?

As someone who is a few days on the other side of the “I need space” deactivation, withdrawal whatever you want to call it. This will only end with an ugly break up (past week) I wish I had been stro…

r/attachment_theorycomment7/8/2025
This is what happens when your FA ex comes back

Thank you, that's so nice of you to say 🥲 it's definitely helped me to hear your perspective and story. I agree, hurt people hurt people and I would be only stunting my own growth to pretend I had …

r/attachment_theorycomment8/9/2025
Decided it’s time to call out blatant misrepresentation regarding our sub

Hurt people hurt people. They didn’t have to mark us as they did, but I’ve learned to let people live in the illusion that they created. Hope for them the best. Hope for us healing and growth

r/AvoidantAttachmentcomment2/11/2026
A lot more people are hurt/traumatized than evil

Fair point. No one *is* evil, for evil is a no-thing. It cannot create or bring good into being; it is a lack of good, truth, and beauty. People *do* evil things. Hurt people hurt people.

r/therapycomment3/8/2026
The Cheat Code to the Universe

Right? So what do you do when dealing with someone like that? Do you react? Do you stress about it? Do you allow their opinion to affect yours? Do you engage in malicious behavior to enact revenge? …

r/Meditationcomment3/8/2026
“My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening.” - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

This was the first moment I realized my mom wasn’t “normal.” I honestly couldn’t fathom a mom being this way to her child but I was angry inside because things didn’t ever make much sense. I was comp…

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment3/8/2026
True kindness is displayed under circumstances where being unkind would have been justified.

There’s a saying, hurt people hurt people. To me this applies here. Many of our fellow humans are walking this earth unhealed and lacking in self awareness. This leads to a scarcity mindset in most ca…

r/Stoicismcomment3/8/2026
Seneca Letter 41 - we push one another into vice

That's a really great quote. I've started to think of anger as a means of transferring suffering. You know the pithy statement "Hurt people hurt people"? We usually (only?) get angry when we ourse…

r/Stoicismcomment3/13/2026
Potentially unpopular opinion re: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

It's probably a good factor for the book to have included, and it might have if it were published later, but I also don't really see oppression as a mitigating factor. My family is white, I'm a first…

r/EmotionalNeglectcomment3/17/2026
Potentially unpopular opinion re: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

Your last paragraph resonates hard 👏👏 However, I’d argue that some parents don’t even recognize what hurt them and therefore wouldn’t be able to prevent that same harm. Recognizing the source of p…

r/EmotionalNeglectcomment3/17/2026
Potentially unpopular opinion re: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

My family was heavily impacted by both generational trauma and our various marginalized identities, but to me, this post is truly not it. I’m not comfortable with any argument that essentially softens…

r/EmotionalNeglectcomment3/18/2026
My mom cheated. She refuses to understand why we are upset at her

Your mother seemed to have done that with you about your dad. Perhaps some therapy for yourself would be beneficial as well. I feel with how much your mother negatively colored your father that it imp…

r/survivinginfidelitycomment3/23/2026
Husband says I “lack empathy” for not excusing his parents’ behavior

What you describe is a very dysfunctional mindset. Whenever excuses are made for poor behavior it is dysfunctional. People who act poorly have a few choices. They can acknowledge their poor behavior, …

r/relationshipscomment3/29/2026
r/BreakUpscomment3/29/2026
Why do some people hurt others so badly and still live happily ,where is karma?

Who says they're happy? Hurt people hurt people. People who are happy and healthy do their best to be honest, loyal, and decent.

r/Divorcecomment3/29/2026
How do I stop this urge of saying some really mean stuff to someone who hurt me gravely?

Hurt people hurt people; however, it sounds like you’re dealing with it in very healthy ways with your journaling. If you’re gonna lash out, make sure it’s at some one who deserves it, not an innocent…

r/DecidingToBeBettercomment4/1/2026
I think I’m a female narcissist and it’s ruining my relationship

hurt people hurt people this is a saying for a reason Just because a person was abused doesn't mean they can be free to abuse others. The coping mechanisms can manifest into abusive behaviour and i…

r/DecidingToBeBettercomment4/1/2026
Why do people think that traumatized people are either evil or victims?

They like saying shit like “hurt people hurt people” cuz it makes them feel good about themselves without having to do the real work into understanding trauma. People are so driven by their egos

r/CPTSDcomment4/2/2026
Trauma and BDSM

Of course, and thank you for describing how I was feeling so succinctly! Constant communication is necessary for safe play, not only for Bottoms but also for tops. I feel that people often neglect top…

r/CPTSDcomment4/3/2026
My (28M) girlfriend (28F) is pregnant with twins. We had an arguement today and she was mad and showed me a video on her phone sucking off her ex. Now what?

When people tell you who they are or show you who they are always believe them the first time. People will always tell you or show you their true feelings towards you when put in uncomfortable situati…

r/relationship_advicecomment4/4/2026
People underestimate how much parental absence affects someone's entire life.

Yes, you nailed it. I would also say that I'm not done in an way or Form, there's still more to do. For me, the thing is, my whole life was somehow decided by Anger. Anger steered me this or that wa…

r/EmotionalNeglectcomment4/5/2026
Break up

If you're unable to break up with your partner in a respectful, adult way as a 40 year old, and are using your trauma history or neurodiversity as an excuse for that, you should warn partners in advan…

r/datingoverfortycomment4/8/2026
Struggling to understand how my separated wife moved on so fast

Yeah that guy is literally a sex tourist in SEA. Hurt people hurt people. 🤷‍♂️

r/Divorcecomment4/9/2026
do i break up with my boyfriend before or after the surprise 30th birthday party i’ve been planning for 3 months? (24F, 29M)

This is a really tough situation because like you said he doesn't seem like a "bad person" but that doesn't inherently make you the bad guy for wanting to end things. It sounds like you are two peopl…

r/relationship_advicecomment4/10/2026
Dumpers, do you believe in second chances?

Hes choosing a woman 2,000 miles away over his ex. Please dont weaponize the children. My mother did that to me and it caused terrible grief. After 9 years thats alot of time. But im under the impress…

r/BreakUpscomment4/13/2026