did their best

This is a great read, thank you for the effort put into it. As someone who sort of knew they were emotionally neglected but never really understood it was a real thing before I discovered this sub, t…

For the adult children with emotionally immature parents.. now what? — Okay, we've established our parents are emotionally immature and neglectful. They don't care to know us as adults but they expect us to care about them. Now what? Is this just how it is now? …

How do you deal with resentment toward a parent who “did their best”? — I’m in my 30s and just now fully realizing I was emotionally neglected growing up, and it’s honestly messing with me. I was raised by a single mother. I know she loves me, but love wasn’t enough. I d…

society pushing the "your parents did their best" nerrative — I grew up in a dysfunctional home to say the least. I do not remember my parents caring for me and they taught me nothing - not academic nor necessary stuff (like laundry, period, showering etc.) and …

It Doesn’t Get Any Weirder Than This! Ten Extremely Bizarre Close Encounters of the Second Kind — [**It Doesn’t Get Any Weirder Than This! Ten Extremely Bizarre Close Encounters of the Second Kind**](https://youtu.be/N3W83uyKBhE) by Preston Dennett https://preview.redd.it/42uniyk4a1sg1.jpg?width…

Me 23M having issues with my partner 22F and I don’t know what to do — So I’m confused on what to do so me 24M am dating this 22F for about a 1y and a half and I feel like she’s always wanting to argue with me, she gets frustrated about me not taking her feelings into co…

My partner says I’m abusive towards myself, but I feel like I’m too light on myself if anything — I often read the posts here and relate to them or get emotional reading them, so I thought maybe this community might know if I’m not treating myself right, and if so why? I (25TF) have a lot of bad…

Don't feel guilty. I've spent my entire life thinking I was bad for not appreciating how hard it was for my mum to be my mum because she always had this air of martyrdom about her. But then I also sa…

I had a really good childhood. Both my sister and I are dismissive-avoidant. Our parents were good parents, very supportive. The only thing I can think of is that they both worked a lot, and my sister…

I agree so much with this, and it’s not talked about enough. The fact of the matter is that some of us have parents who don’t love us. No need to qualify that with “but they do biologically love me” o…

Never tell myself “they did their best” because why is my healing include letting them off the hook? It’s one thing to accept it, but I’m not gonna say they did their best because they didn’t. Edit …

That’s what you have to do. They did their best as abusive narcissists who never had therapy. I had so much grief and anger. Went no contact for years. Still no contact with dad. In contact with mom,…

You basically grew up in a cult (all dysfunctional families are cults, but especially the crazy religious ones). It's okay to feel all your feelings about that. It's okay to cut off your abusers. You…

Did their best doesn't mean they did good. Your feelings aren't invalidated by that.

For me, it was learning  to hold the following 3 things all at once: 1. My parents did better than *their* parents (by a long ways, it's not even close).  2. My parents  did their best.  3. Their be…

"They did their best" is more of empty words made to force us to shut up Caring for your children is a natural instinct they chose to ignore. Or maybe they are so lacking that they dont even have thi…

I think the point of "They did their best" is not so much as letting them off the hook but letting go of the hook for yourself. But that is a more distant thing. The difference between anger and bitt…

They *may* have done their best. But that doesn’t mean their best is acceptable. Lots of players play their best and still don’t make the varsity team. Doing your best and actually being good enough a…

The no gift rule, is the reason I think my mother joined the JW. She hated spending money on any of us, for anything. Everytime someone's says "they did their best" I immediately start singing "I did…

They did their best but you can do better. Going to therapy to break the cycle means life will get better. Therapy and distance are good for you. It's an opportunity to create the life you want. What …

I see nothing wrong with being bitter. It's one of the many, many emotions you feel. And technically nobody knows if they truly did their BEST, so we are talking about beliefs, not facts. Everybody i…

Maybe another way to look at it is, our parents did what they could. And they were unable to meet the genuine needs of a child. They probably would have, if they could have, but they couldn’t, and the…

i'll give you what helped me; Patrick Teahan (go check his YT channel, so many interesting discussion and methods) just straightforwardly said: no, they didn't do their best. if they did their best,…

It’s such an insane thing to assume about other people. Most of the time, people just aren’t doing their worst to others, which is nothing to be proud of. I’m not going to be grateful to my abusers fo…

So I want to clarify I’m not saying this person’s parents did their best. I said some peoples parents *may* have, and even that *doesn’t matter.* For me a big part of my healing has been realizing my…

To me it seems an ideology that'll backfire - often enough we rebuild our self esteem in the face of failure by saying we tried our best. Toxic parents exploit this recovery method by pretending they …

They somehow still think they deserve any loyalty and always somehow under the impression "they did their best" when they barely did the minimum. That's how one sleeps at night I guess, willful ignora…

I’m in a similar situation. I used to be very forgiving to my parents because they both had their own childhood trauma and mental health struggles, and so surely they did their best, it just wasn’t go…

I agree. I get pissed when I tell people the truth of how my parents are & how they used to act towards me when I was young, and even now. But I get the same response "they did their best!", "these ar…

Society loves to gaslight kids, especially teens, about crap parenting. I think it’s because if you admit that the parents are inadequate then there is a moral obligation to help the child as kids can…

I believe they did their best It’s just that their best was absolute piss poor

I'm convinced that when people say things like "your parents did their best", they don't actually believe it, they are just using it as a thought terminating cliche. I think that talk about abusive pa…

When people say that, you should clap back with "well kids did their best too in a world that is not built for them and their needs."

Someone can have given you their physical presence and all the care they knew how to give you (and that part could have been great!), and you could still have missed this huge emotional experience and…

It didn't occur to me that peeing in a cup was odd.  I thought everyone's parents occasionally asked that of their kids and it was just a random thing that was sometimes asked of me.  Turns out no…

They did their best

That's my father. I honestly cannot believe people who make excuses for parents like this telling me they "did their best." Asian culture has this thing where seniority is heavily emphasized - like so…

What about nparents who keep telling you they did their best and you are mad ?

I think you misunderstood me. I did not mean times when people are struggling to survive in war torn countries. I'm not talking about parents who can't give their kids food because they're too poor to…

Hello, this just happened to me today: I tried going LC with my parents, and they did their best to pressure people in my work and the few people they know are my friends to talk to me. Straight up l…

I felt like you do at one point. My parents gave me everything - I had a nanny/cleaner who took care of me, all the books and toys I wanted, a private education, went overseas for uni, expensive thing…

I've always wondered if I'm even capable of "love," especially in the romantic sense. When I was 19, I had my first "relationship" I guess - I was really naive and dumb with no guidance from my family…

Yes. I have this constant wish that I'd wake up one day and I'd finally "be home" so I can tell my REAL friends and family about this reallyyy shitty dream I had where I had useless parents and dealt …