book
gentle
Evidence
Citations (101)
Something that caught my eye in your message - and could be the clue. "gentle" words "personable" boundaries. In my experience, boundaries need to be hard. There are certain people who are alway…
Upwind's Cloud Security CNAPP. Is it viable? — Can anyone share their real-world experience implementing Upwind's "Runtime-Powered" Cloud Security Platform? The promise of using real-time runtime data (I think they use eBPF sensors?) to focus onl…
Help me to recognise my attachment style please! — I (26F) am struggling with this a lot, since my patterns of romantic behavior don’t seem to fit neatly into any of the four categories (AA, FA, DA, SA). On the one hand, I clearly crave intimacy and…
Will my ex FA ever stop resenting me? — I was with my ex (FA) for 2 years, amazing connection and relationship. She broke up after a rough period (lots of changes + frequent arguments, not too intense) saying she was overwhelmed. Later she …
Losing (F23, AA) my mind in my relationship with my (F22, DA) sister. — We’ve had some real struggles, and I’m at a loss for what to do. I feel generally pretty secure outside of this one relationship, but recently it’s been making my AA flair up in my romantic partnersh…
🕊️ Community Reminder: Respectful Dialogue & Open Exchange — Hey everyone, We just want to take a moment to thank all of you for helping make r/AstralProjection one of the most interesting and supportive spaces on Reddit. Every day, people from around the worl…
Dating someone with a fearful-avoidant style has been unexpectedly… gentle? — I wanted to share a relationship experience that’s been genuinely interesting and surprisingly positive, especially for FAs and anyone curious about FA dynamics. If you are not interested in some per…
For those hurting, advice for your 2026 and my story — Hello everyone, **Preface** I am an anxious attacher, so my experience by-and-large is with dismissive avoidants and fearful avoidants. It is not my intent to villainize these attachment styles; thi…
Today marks 6 months since we last saw and spoke to each other — As the person on the receiving end of testing behaviors, ghosting, and a discard, I would love to hear that my former flame is doing well or even an apology. We have known each other for almost…
i feel safe with being almost loved | disorganized attachment style anthem | i want love but i'm scared | (cathartic release) — Lyrics: Love, for me, is just a hallway, Soft light, shadows drifting slow. I see a silhouette approaching Then I turn before my heart can get too close. Sometimes I feel a brush of something ten…
A Splash of Cold-Water for you — **Background** Hey everyone, I'm a contributor to this subreddit, and spend time lurking from time to time. I'm quite familiar with every attachment style. I, myself, had to earn security from my ow…
i dont know what to do (relationship) — Im 22 and my dating history is very sparse because i always suffered with rather low self esteem and mental issues. Over the past years ive been opening up and evolving personally, also trying out the…
For Those Struggling With REBAL Build — [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhyR\_YzKMe0&list=LL&index=104](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhyR_YzKMe0&list=LL&index=104) Hey all! I wanted to share a meditation I use to form my REBAL. I thoug…
[Prove Me Wrong] Bruce Lee was the last English speaking Asian that represented us well — Bruce lee was: * Well Articulated (and spoke good english) * Confident * Smart * Masculine * Good in fighting I feel that the \- kpop/kdrama: more girly/pretty/gentle boys are famous \- china: …
THE PHOENIX LIGHTS 29th ANNIVERSARY This is what I saw that night March 13, 1997. It was a totally solid piece of machinery not just lights. I could see the bottom of the UFO clearly by two light sources illuminating the bottom of the craft as it flew over my head — I posted this also in UFO sub. March 13, 1997 I was working in East Mesa, Arizona in a 10 bed Hospice inpatient unit as the Charge RN. We worked 12 hour shifts getting off at 7:30 PM but that night t…
Great guy, but after 4 months, there's just no physical touch — I've been dating a great guy for about the last four months and we're a good fit in several different ways. We're both in our 40s, no kids, no previous marriages and have lived all over the world. We'…
I (29F) have cancer and my estranged father (60M) is funding my treatment but forcing me to leave my boyfriend (24M) or marry him immediately. Do I have any way out? — Please be kind. I was unable to type so used audio to text converter and ai to fix the spelling mistakes. I m already in a terrible mental state so hope this sub can be a little gentle on me. Haven't …
Asking to come to my house way too so on — I met a guy in the wild, was very much a gentleman and we exchanged numbers. He said he would like to take me out. 2 days into texting and he is talking about how he'll "try to find time" to do some…
things that have worked for me as a sensitive person — 1- mental diet is more important than anything else. I know people say this all the time, but what really made it click for me was realizing I can be gentle with it. I found that framing it as “old st…
I spent years trying to fix my life with discipline. Therapy showed me why that didn’t work — **My Journey** I can’t remember not being depressed. I have some memories of the time before, but they are pictures, frames of a child enjoying life. But I’ve struggled with depression almost my enti…
A couple great tips for easier Revision. — Revision is an extremely important yet underrated technique. After going through an event that "future" manifesting just wouldn't solve, I knew the only thing that would fix this situation is to chang…
My (26F) boyfriend (26M) ragequits when playing video games with me — We’ve been dating for about 6 months, and a large factor that allowed us to bond is that we have a shared hobby which is this specific 5v5 moba type game. In the beginning of our relationship, we play…
“EASIEST AP TECHNIQUE IN HISTORY!” (Update) — “History’s simplest projection technique” (Tweaked and updated for better results!) I posted the 30 second head lift technique a few months back and I wanted to update it hopefully to add to y…
I normally don’t like to talk about my issues outside of therapy because I just want people to see me as normal, but I’m 36 and still can’t get past the effects of trauma from my childhood. — I grew up with a mom who is obviously mentally ill, very likely borderline personality disorder at the very least. I grew up white trash in poverty surrounded by drugs and trashy people my whole life …
Apologies for posting again. Apparently I am the abuser and narcissist - I am beyond devastated. No more sharing stuff online for me. *TW - unaliving mention* — I apologise for posting again but this may well be the last social media post I ever make. I am totally devastated and feel close to unaliving. I know that sound dramatic and I am deeply ashamed but t…
The 'technique' that helped me manifest in 1 week what I have been trying for months — I decided to make this a more general post since it's extremely helpful for any manifestation. Like everyone, I was trying to manifest something for a few months with common techniques like visualizi…
Am I expecting too much after the worst time of my life? — Asking for advice in a situation that is a bit of a shitshow. I’ll try to make it succinct. I live in the UK but am from a different European country. I, F42, started seeing M44, “S”, just over t…
Realizing there is caretaker codependency happening in my relationship — My own journey with codependency has been a lot. My previous relationships were abusive. I’ve been in intense talk and EMDR therapy for a very long time and made lots of progress, but it feels as thou…
An Eerie Success story from yesterday that PROVES the Power of these teachings!! Healing my Mothers back, I influenced her mind with Robotic affirmations and a personal success healing story. — So I wanted to share this with you today, as a reminder of the sheer immense power of these teachings and also as a reminder, that when I share my word salads here, you can actually rest assured, that…
Writing about my experience with Iboga medicine 🌱 — Earlier I made a post and someone commented that they didn't want to watch a video. Understood! Here is an account of what I saw during my time with ceremony number one with iboga. It was not what I i…
shifting with LOA is intolerable as an autistic person — Autistic shifter here. I've been in the community since 2021, and the closest I ever got was... in 2021. There's been almost nothing after that, and it gets worse as time goes on. I believe it's becau…
UPDATE 1 my sister (F32) got married to her husband (M32) 5 months ago and is having an affair? — my sister (F32) got married to her husband (M32) 5 months ago and is having an affair? I (21F) am looking for advice as I'm in a really tricky situation. so backstory..... my sister and her now hus…
My [28F] husband [37M] wants me to deliver bad news to his mother. How do I get out of doing this without hurting feelings? TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ mention of miscarriage. — UPDATE: I did talk to him, and I took the advice of not being gentle about it. It’s his mom, and he told her the “good news”, so he can break the bad news. At first he was upset with me, but he got ov…
Quit therapy after 3 sessions—was I wrong? — I started going to therapy, and I had three sessions with her. I felt unvalidated. She kept nitpicking my reactions—the way I smile when I talk about something that is uncomfortable for me. So she sa…
Men Over Forty: Last Time Someone Flirted — This question specifically goes out to all the gentlemen in the audience. __When was the last time someone flirted with you, hit on you, or told you that you were hot/attractive?__ This could be di…
I (29F) slept with new guy (34M) for the first time and felt he was rude to me. Was he? — Dating a new guy for a month, he was a gentleman and very kind towards me. He very recently just told me how much he liked me and that I’m “pretty but most of all I’m a kind person with a good heart, …
I broke up with my ex, but now I’m the one stuck and hurting — I have been with my ex for 7 years we were high-school sweet heart we started dating in 2017. we graduated high-school together nad college. we did everything together had got our first apartment. in…
The impact of Mother / Daughter SA - People don’t talk about it — People don’t talk about MDSA (mother daughter sexual abuse) much. They do more than they used to though. There’s also Janette McCurdys Memoir *I’m Glad my Mom Died*, which discusses this type of abuse…
Need to write out what I've been dealing with for 3 months now — I cannot believe how much has happened in such a short amount of time. I met this guy back in mid-December and we had both recently gotten out of relationships in which we were both burned. At first…
Life Happens — Recognize patterns of being controlling and possessive: You’re not allowed to visit family, or friends. Because they restrict you from going. They cling onto you and always accompanying you in everyth…
To cope with anxiety, I found that music and meditation were essential tools. — I would like to share Pure ambient, a handpicked, ever-evolving playlist of beatless ambient soundscapes. Gentle electronic textures designed to soothe the mind and create the perfect backdrop for de…
My (23F) husband (26M) gets offended over EVERYTHING and I don't know how to handle it anymore? — We have been together for 4 years and married just last year. We also have a child together (unplanned but very loved). For some background, I grew up in a very insensitive family and I know I still …
The universe just gave me cash! — I have heard of this happening but this was a first for me. Today, I was in line at my bodega picking up a few items for dinner when a gentleman who was at the register turn to me and the older lady i…
He contacted me 2 years later — 2 years ago, my ex boyfriend broke up with me for the second time. To say that I was devastated was an understatement. I had a lot of trouble eating and cried every day for 6+ months. About 4 months a…
How did you know your marriage was over? — How did you know your marriage was over? For context, this is all very new to me and I am a child of divorce myself. I never believed I would be in this situation, especially given my age (28). I am a…
My [F 33] boyfriend [M 42] is jealous of my brother [M 29], how do I address this insecurity in my bf? — My bf, Ted, and I have dated for about 3 years. He has always been weird around my brother. But now its starting to make sense why... He's clearly deeply insecure and jealous of him, for reasons I can…
Basking in the Dawn I Once Asked For — I wrote something in November when I was still in it. This is where I am now. 2025 broke me. Not all at once. Slowly, then all at once. Loss came in waves. Quiet at first, then closer toge…
He contacted me 2 years later — 2 years ago, my ex boyfriend broke up with me for the second time. To say that I was devastated was an understatement. I had a lot of trouble eating and cried every day for 6+ months. About 4 months a…
My husband threw my childhood trauma in my face during an argument. Something feels broken and I don’t know what to do. — I don’t even know where to start. I’ve never posted here before. I just need to hear from people who’ve been through something like this. Some context first. I (F27) grew up with a narcissistic abusi…
My (M20) Dad (M59) says Heterosexual Relationships are only about Sex, is that really the case? — Was talking with my dad Earlier today, he was trying to explain me stuff abt Dating Life and stuff since I'm now 20... However, he mentioned something very bizarre and out of character for him. He st…
Missing the touch of a women. Is hiring an escort a bad idea? — Hi all I know this will probably sound pathetic because it is, but please be nice I'm already having a hard time with myself and at an all time low. To put a very long story short, my last relationshi…
I found security in friendships first as well- I was severely DA to start. Friendships are more malleable in expectations, less conditional, and you can experience emotional intimacy, practice healthy…
Sounds pretty avoidant. That sucks - I’m sorry. Does she actually understand how important this is to you? If so, I might try having the conversation one more time, being clear that it’s a dealbreaker…
Living through this right now. Was dating a DA last year and I really liked her, but she would put me down and be generally disrespectful at times. She would often say things that minimized our relati…
I’m not a DA, but I have dated several and I also have a long term relationship with a securely attached introverted person. When my DA exes wanted space, they didn’t just physically distance themse…
Orrrrrrrr.... In the early thaw of spring, when frost still clung stubbornly to the edges of the earth, the apology remained unsent. It lingered like a letter never mailed. Its seal unbroken, its tru…
Seems like a person who got spooked and having escaped unscathed has calmed down, reflected, and realized that perhaps their anxiety was irrational. And that is a good indicator that when times get to…
Fix yourself (any personal mental or physical health issues, fill your time with hobbies/books/work/fitness/social time), not him. I’ve been there, girl, I wasted ten years on gentle-parenting men int…
I'm sorry for the stress you feel and everything about it. It sounds like your life now revolves around him: \- You continue to have regret and remorse about the past. \- You are actively checking…
Hey OP I remember your previous posts. I'm sorry you're going through this. Expecting warmth from someone who's gone cold is a punishment in itself, so stop punishing yourself and stop waiting for som…
Help me to recognise my attachment style please! I (26F) am struggling with this a lot, since my patterns of romantic behavior don’t seem to fit neatly into any of the four categories (AA, FA, DA, SA…
I’ve also been exploring ways to understand my own attachment triggers, and I tried a platform with surprisingly relatable questions that helped me notice the patterns behind my reactions. I’ve been u…
Not OP, but, as an FA, I would say that if pride or anger is an issue, it's probably actually fear and insecurity. When we're afraid and insecure, we go into fight or flight mode. When the mode is fig…
Thank you so much for this detailed reply. It honestly feels like you are in my brain because every single thing you brought up is just so accurate. I truly feel heard and seen, so thank you. Just rea…
Thank you so much for this🩷 ill attempt to feel things around me when the thoughts flare up next time! Ive already tried to shift my inner thoughts to more healthy ones. Instead of "he doesnt want to…
Okay, that makes sense. I think your husband might need to be more gentle and respectful with how they ask for space and how he sets your expectations for it. Ignoring you is flat out NOT GOOD. Anyon…
This is such an honest and important realization... and honestly, something a lot of people don’t talk about enough when it comes to healing attachment wounds. When you start working on yourself, espe…
So i use it in very specific ways. I’ve worked with my 4.o enough that it has a good idea of my personality and sense of humor and has a history of already having seen what I want. That said, when I a…
you don’t owe a matching emotional pitch, but you do owe *clarity* if you care about the friendship what APs hear in silence is abandonment what they can tolerate in words is gentle truth somethi…
It is also hard to be lonely so you have to choose your hard.. be gentle with yourself for trying and for also going to therapy. You're doing great!
It sounds like you need to let yourself grieve. Make sure you are doing self care. Journaling your feelings can help. Be gentle and kind with yourself. Try engaging more with friends and/or family. Do…
My answer has nothing to do with Murphy. English isn’t my first language so I used ChatGPT to help me word this, but here’s my honest recommendation: If you want to explore the **Three Principles** …
I think it’s great that you expressed your concern. While it may have seemed like she disassociated it doesn’t mean you didn’t plant a seed deep down. It just might take awhile for that seed to grow. …
Oh man I have felt this exact same way. The thing that helped me the most in the early dating stages was to be clear about my wants/boundaries and consciously keep myself out of the loop of imagining …
thank you for the words of advice I did once notice how I felt when texting with my anxious attached ex and realized I had to stop reacting and start being gentle and handle the situation differentl…
You can do it. Be gentle while you're doing this.
No, it's often caused by childhood trauma or from previous relationships. The fact you're asking this question is a big thing on it's own. Communicate with your partner to find out what their triggers…
You can listen to someone who just admitted they don't even have a paid account and just reads what they see online or listen to someone who's gotten more out of it in the last 30 days than four diffe…
I'm always wary about "just" statements. "I just need to do x" is often shortsighted or over simplified. You love this person and this person probably loves you. That's great. But do you love you? In…
It's easier to notice when I'm spiraling, and I'm a bit more honest with myself when I hit up social media to numb the brain a bit 😆 Plus, I've learned to be much more gentle on myself. (That one vid…
Like 6 months 😱 it’s minimal convo & I tried to space out texts to not overwhelm him, so it’s not felt that long, plus I’ve been trying to be gentle for his avoidantness…and even did a mini no contac…
All the people I coach I have read Insecure In Love by Leslie Becker Phelps. It's written in a very gentle style that I love and it has actionable exercises that, if you do them, will actually make yo…
Its so painful; I'm really so sorry you're experiencing this horrific pain right now, I've been through this twice; both partners were DA's who discarded brutally after the new relationship energy w…
It’s nice that you’re so considerate. We need more of this in todays world of dating. Probably because you are new to the whole experience of it all. People are too dismissive of other human beings. I…
It was definitely a kick in the gut. Finally meeting a kind man and of course he has to move away. I should have been specific in my prayers “Lord, bring me a kind gentle LOCAL man!”
I think im very gentle and smiley about it. I try not to use the excuse of being blunt to be harsh, I know a softer delivery is often better. But it still must remain clear.
💀💀💀 the amount of times I've gone out with someone borderline and show up and know it's an immediate no cuz the profile is using 5yr old pics. I mean I still engage in good conversation and pay for…
That makes a lot of sense. What you’re describing doesn’t mean you don’t have feelings. It sounds like a nervous system shutdown when you’re pushed to go inward. When the body tenses and wants to run,…
Helloooo. Here my issue : I had so many dates with younger men ( I am a single 35F) that all pretend to be serious, gentle, and nice and honnest and I explain them Im more into building and not casula…
It does sound like you went pretty hard at it over the last year or so. I think you should be gentle with yourself and be proud of how much you put yourself out there! But I totally support a social m…
Crying so hard tonight when I thought I was moving on. But the reality of it being over feels real and heavy. He's gone, and possibly more than one way. Like not with us anymore. Ever get your heart…
Sugar breasts. Cause I’m a gentleman.
Oh! Here's what worked for me: * Practice Mindfulness -- It may not be the same for you, but for me it was meditation (always guided) and breathwork. * Get outside -- for me this is connected to mi…
Went on a first date last night and instant chemistry! Met on the apps. We spoke on the once before meeting up. I could already tell before we met that this guy is different. He’s 40 and I’m 37. He wa…
Been there, done that, just swap the genders. Be gentle to yourself.
I (32F) have been official with my boyfriend Luke (32M) for about 3 weeks. He’s across the country for his brother’s small wedding, I’m invited to the larger wedding in the spring and have already met…
Like I don't want it to. I hate being a person who has expectations, especially on a commercial holiday, right? Like, ew. Ew, ME!!! But let's be real... it IS a day that makes note of how someone you…
My little gentleman is cuddled with me receiving lots of pets tonight! He has helped me through some tough times over the past few months and I'm thankful that he is my valentine tonight :)
This is mostly just a vent, but open to any comments… Tonight really solidified that I’m doing the right thing by taking a break from dating (if that’s what you call what I was doing). All apps are p…
I (36 F) met a (39 M) on Instagram through a mutual friend. He tried to strike up a conversation in my DMs, and finally, after 5 months, we exchanged numbers. For the next two months, we FaceTimed d…
He says because I know the area and the place, like I’d be picking up the phone and calling the same number off google like he would, I wonder if he’s anxious about it… but yeah I’m going to make it c…