book
vibe check
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Citations (53)
No matter what people say about how negative it is. The data still shows that for people under 35 over 30% meet their marriage partners with online dating. And this is not an over 40 thing it's jus…
For those hurting, advice for your 2026 and my story — Hello everyone, **Preface** I am an anxious attacher, so my experience by-and-large is with dismissive avoidants and fearful avoidants. It is not my intent to villainize these attachment styles; thi…
Sanity check: is not drinking alcohol immature or hurting my dating chances? — A woman recently reached out about a personals ad. She was sarcastic and mildly insulting, so we weren't vibing at all -- it was strange -- but the conversation was somewhat interesting so I figured I…
anyone want a free tarot card reading about their manifestations? — hey everyone im doing free readings for anyone who wants a vibe check from the universe, we can see how your manifestation is going to get a reading please dm me with the following: your name or nic…
I’ve never been let down, no. Even when the connection crumbles as things come to light, I was generally approaching the situation with an open heart and with care. I’m not taking someone’s body and …
I bring it up bluntly literally within 5 messages. I've had too many people with an undisclosed desire for kids (or already have them) ignore what my profile says and match with me. For people outsid…
Its easier to make kink connections than a first date is the wild part. I met someone for a vibe check first meet cause they wanna learn to tie people up, yesterday 🤣
I'm not sure if people understand that small talk is a good way to do a little vibe check for safety reasons among other things. I'm not a fan of being penpals forever but the talking stage is importa…
The FaceTime vibe check has gained steam, men and women alike express that it helps because some dates just obviously won’t have that chemistry so why “waste” a night on something you couldn’t spent 5…
can you do a little flirting to drop hints that you're thinking about it? i have no idea what that looks like (been a long ass time since i've had to do this) but maybe you can get a little vibe check…
A message that’s references that you enjoyed chatting, maybe something specific about the conversation if possible, and asking her out for a drink is always going to be preferable to continuing to mak…
This! I’ve found that unavailable Women will go OUT OF THEIR WAY to help a man that passes the vibe check.
this is second date stuff. first date IMO should be to see if you click and it’s more of a vibe check than anything. I usually grab a drink on the first date (coffee, tea, wine, non-alc beverage optio…
Everyone’s different of course, but for me personally I like to save activity dates for the 2nd or 3rd (depending on the person as well). First dates are more of a vibe check with zero expectations. I…
(I am not on apps anymore) Personally, I got burned so many times with folks chatting on the app and not committing to meeting up, I am looking for progression, not questions. Exchange a couple of …
You can totally vibe check without long texting for weeks.
Absolutely you are correct. It's what one experiences, although there could be other experiences too that others would have come across. Yes, when we come to some serious discussion, I do agree that …
I (31m) [joined a local startup matchmaking service back in early February](https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverthirty/s/KEBkMzguO7) and have been documenting the experience since it’s all brand new to…
Congrats, take it with a pinch of salt. Dating is not easy in 2026 but it's good that you are getting back out there. My only advice is to get to meeting them as soon as possible to weed out the bots …
When I was on the apps it was basically a vibe check while messaging through the app. Can we continue a conversation, do we relate to each other, etc. I was pretty quick to suggest an IRL meetup, usua…
Yeah, it works for me. I think it strikes a nice midpoint between the coffee-vibe check that a lot of people on Reddit advocate for and a full-blown meal. Maybe I'm just old, but a coffee dating/inte…
My man, these comments do not pass the vibe check. Bro listen, in life there are going to be times where you have to work harder than you did before. And this means you might not be able to spend as m…
Yes, exactly. Between looking a their profile and messaging on the app to get clarifications for anything still in question is infinitely better than wasting time, money, and effort a date with a poor…
Bro the whole thing. Virgo mars in the 4th house(someone could have been violent when you weren't perfect) the 29° Aries Saturn opposite your Venus(God forbid you enjoy anything or anyone because it …
I got stood up so many times that I started planning first vibe checks at places near my friends' homes, so they could join me if I was stood up. Started losing hope a bit, then had a great six month …
I have had this happen before too. A man seemed great on our vibe check and then first sexually experience he not only fully choked me without asking but also tried to do the shocker on me dry. And wh…
Use the first few dates for a vibe check and to rule out any immediate deal breakers. There's no need to be getting into deep topics until you feel more sure that there's mutual connection.
There are levels of people. Just like how doctors used to believe plague masks prevented disease and we now know more specifically about why that's kinda technically true but not really for the reaso…
Welcome to the hot girls looking for casual club babe we are so in demand and have our pick. So just be choosy. Demand condoms remember if he doesn’t wanna use them with you he doesn’t use them with o…
This is why it’s important to have low pressure dates for the first one like coffee/tea only…that limits the interaction to 30-60 minutes top and if it goes well one of yall can offer to extend the da…
You don't want to see them again. You offer. They decline. Literally end of story so why are you caring what they think of you? I'm a firm believer in invitee pays. I don't go out for meals, too form…
This is why I try not to do too much conversation before I meet a person IRL for at least a coffee and a vibe check. The first few people I matched with online went like that - I thought I was trying …
1. What do you mean? Where are you at? 2. For me, first date is mostly a vibe check. I confirm that they're also looking for a long-term, monogamous relationship at some point in the future. I wouldn'…
I hate small talk with strangers, but I make a point to meet fairly quickly. I also don’t write “I hate small talk”. Instead I write “I prefer to get to know one another in person. The app is just for…
Original copy of post by u/ConsentAndDesire: A woman recently reached out about a personals ad. She was sarcastic and mildly insulting, so we weren't vibing at all -- it was strange -- but the conver…
She doesn’t sound very fun at all. I would like a coffee shop vibe check. Safe, public, casual. Not drinking should not be a punishable offense. I’ve dated men that didn’t drink and it’s never been an…
First off OP, this one is NOT for you. She sounds like she may have been drinking during your exchanges. There is NOTHING wrong with a low key first date. I think there is a saying that a first meet…
It sounds like you might be mildly sapiosexual and/or demisexual. Those terms mean that you require more of an intellectual and/or emotional connection with someone before you can really feel attract…
Thanks for your candor. I'm not sure I have a strong position because it's never been a big problem. I understand the convention that "If a man asks, he should pay" but then I also realize that, at …
It might depend on the person you are asking? I won't have any alcohol on a first date. I don't metabolize alcohol well, and typically only have one drink with plenty of food if I'm driving (I'm only …
Yeah, these comments are not passing the vibe check. Everyone's dunking on the OP for not taking responsibility, without knowing anything about them. It's really just a re-enactment of abuse culture. …
I'm personally not a fan of the "date zero"/ "vibe check" coffee date concept. For me, it's not much fun and (in my mind) sends a message to the other party: 1) This isn't a special occasion for me, …
In response to the question, very much so... I feel like second dates are waaay more enjoyable because there's not that initial trying to figure out if you think they're attractive and vice versa goin…
As a woman, I personally do not like a coffee date. Mostly because it just feels very awkward going in line when you first meet each other and then waiting and having an awkward conversation in line a…
Yes, I don’t wanna chat too long without a plan because nothing can be determined till you meet face-to-face. I don’t mind a date a week out, so long as the date is set. And do a little chatting till …
I don’t feel it’s a snide remark though. It’s playful and light, while also trying to feel comfortable enough to meet someone. If I agree to get drinks with the everyone whose first sentence is “hi, l…
Also talking side-by-side (lateral communication) often leads to deeper conversations, and increased comfort compared to face-to-face interaction. It reduces the intensity of direct eye contact, which…
Eye contact is the reason for me. It's really difficult to truly be present in a conversation when you are trying to walk, look where you are stepping, not bump into the person, but not be too far awa…
I like a walk along the beach or city park in daylight hours. Grab a coffee or whatever on the go too. Its a vibe check. Im all for them. Ive done the whole grab a beer or more and I enjoy the moment …
I had a walking date…tuned out fine… hiking in the sand dunes. It was a good test of how active someone was and kind of romantic as the hike ended on the lakefront. But looking back I realize it wasn’…
I truly dislike coffee dates. And dinner dates for that matter. I’m all about hard vetting and then a shared experience. Obvious safety issues aside, men also deal with strangers and whackadoodles. I …
Please go see a doctor or provider for a checkup for vaginal and urinary infections. There is no such thing as “squirting”. This comment section does not pass the vibe check.
Was it a first date? It might be that you're going into first dates with expectations that are too high. First dates are a vibe check and to see if you share common goals and values. I have been o…