spark

First and foremost, my deepest condolences for your inconceivable loss. May your baby rest in paradise as the comfort of his memory blanket and surround you in uncharted solace.🕊️ Reading the post,…

What’s the best UX you’ve ever experienced in a product? — Hey, I’m deep in the weeds designing the UX/UI for my vibe coding platform . I’m hunting for that spark of inspiration and digging through every app, site, and tool I can find. For me, Apple’s ecosys…

Does anyone else go through phrases where they feel cynical about people easily? — I kinda feel like I’m in one of those now. I'm a DA. It usually happens if I feel like I’m trying to make plans with people, but they’re not responding or declining. Usually I’m okay with it, but when…

A message to earnestly curious skeptics and non-experiencers: How to engage experiencers within this community and learn about the topic. — We are seeing an increase of activity from people outside of experiencer circles in threads as time has moved on and more and more people are starting to understand there really is a "there there" and…

For avoidants (and those leaning/earned secure): is this avoidant behavior? Do you really move on—and why no closure? — For avoidants (and those leaning/earned secure): is this avoidant behavior? Do you really move on—and why no closure? I began therapy 4 months into our situationship because of how strong he came on,…

How do you stop feeling of needing to be perfect? — I have no problem getting dates, but things always seem to end after 1-3 months. Sometimes, it was my decision to break up or it was theirs but I didn't disagree. But I've had guys dump me when I thou…

Rushing to know if I’m long term compatible with someone — The past two years I’ve done a lot of internal work on myself regarding my attachment and codependency issues. I feel that I lean more secure than ever. I recently started seeing someone, I’ve known t…

feeling numb in dating but longing for intimacy — For the past few years, I've been mostly numb in dating. I don’t really feel anything romantic. I don’t feel sparks. I don’t feel excited about anyone or attached. I don’t miss people when I’m not wit…

Break up + no contact update (post 4 months) — I thought I’d give an update into my healing progress since my breakup, in hopes to shed a little light on the small positives that can come from heartbreak. For context, my ex and I broke up in Octob…

My (26/M) Girlfriend (26/F) Of 6.5 Years Emotionally Cheated and I Don’t Know What To Do — My (26/M) girlfriend (26/F) and I met our first year of college and started dating shortly after. We went through Covid together, graduated together, and started living together about 2 years ago. We…

Dating over forty and living separately — I feel like I do better in relationships where we don't cohabitate. I'm autistic and really like control over my space, living with someone messy can feel very overwhelming. Also, I find that having …

Cheated on after 10.5 years together, divorced at 11 years together. — Hi Everyone, This is half venting and half hoping for advice or people to listen. I'm at a low point right now so I thought reaching out to a community might be beneficial as opposed to holding it…

THE PHOENIX LIGHTS 29th ANNIVERSARY This is what I saw that night March 13, 1997. It was a totally solid piece of machinery not just lights. I could see the bottom of the UFO clearly by two light sources illuminating the bottom of the craft as it flew over my head — I posted this also in UFO sub. March 13, 1997 I was working in East Mesa, Arizona in a 10 bed Hospice inpatient unit as the Charge RN. We worked 12 hour shifts getting off at 7:30 PM but that night t…

‘Golden’ Wins Best Song at Oscars, But 'KPop Demon Hunters' Team’s Speech Cut Short: The moment, meant to mark a milestone for Asian creators in Hollywood, has since sparked debate over whose voices get heard on the Oscars stage.

My boyfriend (32M) has low libido issues he won’t get help for and I (30F) don’t know what to do…? — Pretty much what the title says. My boyfriend and I have a great relationship—we laugh and have great conversations—but there is seemingly zero sexual chemistry or desire from him. We’ve spoken about…

I (31M) seeing someone (33F) but I never got the gut feeling that they're my person. How important is the gut feeling? Does it develop over time? We have been dating for a month and a half — TBH I never felt the spark even on the first date. But we got intimate on the second date and that added a new layer to the relationship. I also have anxieties of my own when the relationships get "re…

Is it a thing that when you find something out that they did, they become almost fake normal with you? — But it feels off. It feels different. I have discovered my partner has been sleeping with massage girls and was on tinder at some point. Since discovery, he says all the same things, but in person, …

Dream or Real? — I’m curious if anyone has had a similar experience. **TLDR:** Saw a grey in my room. Communicated I wasn’t afraid. Instant paralysis. Felt three taps on my forehead. It showed me images. At the tail…

28M, 30F, wife and I are distancing and I don't know what to do. — 28M, 30F, wife and I are distancing and I don't know what to do. Throwaway account for obvious reasons. My (28M) wife (30F) and I have been distancing lately. We have been together for almost 5 year…

Have you had any experiences where your beings saved yours or someone else's life in some way? — *(Added this image as I thought it was fitting given the title - its one of my favourite sculptures which is called The Ecstasy of Saint Teresa by Gian Lorenzo Bernini, finished in 1652)* \------- P…

How I finally "tricked" my analytical mind and shifted from AP to Eversong Woods — Hi everyone. I’ve been practicing Astral Projection and Lucid Dreaming for a while now, but I kept hitting a wall—literally. My analytical mind would always pull me back to my body whenever I tried to…

Writing about my experience with Iboga medicine 🌱 — Earlier I made a post and someone commented that they didn't want to watch a video. Understood! Here is an account of what I saw during my time with ceremony number one with iboga. It was not what I i…

I think I’ve been having my first experiences - looking for a bit of guidance from the community — Over the past couple of years my view of reality and the world has shifted quite a bit. I’ve done a lot more exploring of the spiritual side of life and feel I’ve really “woken up”. I’ve had a couple …

Wife cheated after 7 years of long distance and 3 years of marriage — Met my now wife 10 years ago online. I live in Europe and she is from the US. We talk for a year and things start to get romantic. I visit her for the summer and we decide to start dating and go long …

sexual energetic cord or just me? — hi! i recently reconnected as friends with an ex who i had a pretty tumultuous, deep, passionate relationship with in college. however, it’s been 5 years of no contact and 8 years since we officially …

It has been two years since I broke up, and here we are, folks. — It's a strange day/event to commemorate, yet it's undeniably a significant one. I feel like it's important to pay a token of respect to the journey I took. So here we are. 1. Before diving deep into …

It’s so hard to move on — And I mean it. We met in the most exciting chapter of our lives and we absolutely glowed the first year and half together. Exchange students in Japan, and by a miracle found ourselves together back in…

At the start of 2026 I left my soulmate after three years together, I'm 36 now and whilst I desperately miss her, I realise I'm finished/done with relationships. — The dust has settled now. I'm not reacting out of impulse. I'm never going to find a connection like this again. I've had two other long term relationships and a few causals... We met on Christmas Ev…

The impact of Mother / Daughter SA - People don’t talk about it — People don’t talk about MDSA (mother daughter sexual abuse) much. They do more than they used to though. There’s also Janette McCurdys Memoir *I’m Glad my Mom Died*, which discusses this type of abuse…

anyone else? — About six months ago, I began noticing unusual visual phenomena. Initially, I believed I might be seeing drones surveilling me, especially given recent legal stress. I would observe lights staying abo…

I (29F) am planning to walk away from my partner (29M) and I feel guilty for choosing to put myself first.. — We’ve been together for about nine years, married for less than one, we had a lot of issues over the years that I’ve tried over and over again to fix, with trying to talk through it, and even couples …

I'm already behind in life at 18 — I wasn't sure which flair to use, because I think I need advice on a lot of things. I also want to preface by saying I do not blame any of this on my parents, schools, mental health, etc, and this was…

Just random thoughts — I've tried my best to move on, but even still, some nights i find myself thinking about what we had. Even if it was merely a drop in the bucket in our lives. I remember when we she started first havi…

Is this the beginning of the end? How can I work on it? — I (19F) and my boyfriend (20M) have been dating for 3 years, we have a good relationship - never had any rows - I’m not saying that no arguments = good relationship, but we get on like a house on fire…

Overarching Energy of the Libra Full Moon on April 1st, 2026 — This Full Moon is all about our responsibility when it comes to our relationships. We are reminded to balance what is external, creating harmony without sacrificing self. The solution isn’t  about “we…

I(M27) don't know what to do about long-term relationship I'm not longer feeling like I'm 100% into with girlfriend(F25) lately. — Lately I (M27) have been feeling like I'm just not into the relationship with my gf (f25) anymore. We argue a lot and she has a history of being very jealous even though I've never given her a reaso…

I'm in a depressing place mentally — I've been badly depressed for at least 10-15 years. I don't know what it is, I just can't seem to find a spark in my life. I don't know what I want to do with myself. I've had a couple of failed rela…

My ex (30F) and I (30nb) broke up 6 months ago and I want to vent about it — After dating for almost 2 years and living together for 6 months my ex broke it off and I had to move out. I am a trans nonbinary person (AFAB) and the day we met my ex knew I would be pursuing gender…

Breakup with fearful avoidant — So I just want to tell my story of how the breakup is and how I assume that the person who broke up with me is fearful avoidant after analysing what happened and what was going on. I want to get some …

Gf going to Europe for 6 months while fighting. — Im (19)M and my girlfriend (19) have been dating for almost two years now, the last couple of months have been rather challenging as we seem to fight a lot more. It’s always over the smallest things t…

Chemistry, spark and attraction: one in the same or different? — Getting back into dating and trying to avoid past mistakes this go round. In ideal world you want a person who is both a friend and a lover right? I think it these notions of chemistry, spark and a…

He contacted me 2 years later — 2 years ago, my ex boyfriend broke up with me for the second time. To say that I was devastated was an understatement. I had a lot of trouble eating and cried every day for 6+ months. About 4 months a…

I (18F) want to leave my boyfriend (19M), but I'm not sure if it's the right choice. — Hello, throw away account because he has reddit. I'm going to start off by giving some back story. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 10 months. We had an okay relationship at first, I no…

My ex (F23) and I (M26) came back into contact after a year. I'm still in love with her. — Quick backstory. My ex (F23) and I (M26) came back into contact after a year. We broke up after being together for 4.5 years. We met on a dating app, I was 21 and she was 18. Everything clicked instan…

The global awakening, the planetary shift in consciousness, I seek to find you — \*\*\*\*Note: the following is my own interpretation and opinion of my own existence and nothing else. I am not an oracle. I have many questions and few answers. \------------- In the beginning ther…

Things I want to tell you. — Todays the first day I haven't cried. It's been a month since you left me, I can't believe it's been this long already since I last saw you. You told me to move on from you and I guess that's what I'm…

After struggling with soda intake for years it’s finally become a treat not an obligation. — Hello all, first time I’m posting here but I decided this was good enough to share. I’m 22 yrs old and within the last 3 months I have finally been able to make a good change in my diet. For reference…

He contacted me 2 years later — 2 years ago, my ex boyfriend broke up with me for the second time. To say that I was devastated was an understatement. I had a lot of trouble eating and cried every day for 6+ months. About 4 months a…

The disrespect after the breakup — Me (M22) and ex (F20) we were together for 3 years, when all of a sudden a conversation got brought up by her saying she’s checked out. She didn’t wanna feel this way she gave us time to see is I coul…

MY answer for ppl's telepathic and psychic abilities in general, stay with me now. — I and many others believe that all humans or living things are interconnected in the higher "soul' realm or whatever. I basically believe that we are parts of the collective conciousness, the all know…

I stumbled on my husband’s reddit account. One of them, anyway. — I’ll probably delete this, but right now I need to get it out, to call my nerves and be there for my kids. My hands are a little shaky. I was certainly not expecting this today. Or any day. I was goi…

What does that look like??? Find a new hobby. Anything. Try learning to knit. Learn to build robots. Take a class in 17th century blacksmithing. Join a woodworkers guild. Join an improve troupe. Volu…

You might want to look into relationship attachment styles, love bombing, and whether you're mistaking the slow burn as boring because it's stable and consistent. The excitement ppl often feel is actu…

Yeah I don't really agree with their point at all. There’s a big difference between a slow burn that feels a bit boring and something that stirs up anxiety, usually because someone’s bringing anxious …

Pretty sure I was an FA (schizophrenic dad, sadistic mom who wanted to abort me—I took care of the family’s emotional needs, disregarded my own). I was still confused/hurting 2+ years post no contact…

There’s gotta be a balance. I'm not a spark chaser, but I also dont want to settle for someone Im meh about

Agree. I definitely didn’t feel meh about my hubby—just no crazy sparks where I couldn’t think rationally

I have anxious attachment but I get over people very quickly if I feel their interest wane. I think U could have a bit of romance/fantasy addiction. For people suffering that, they tend to fantasis…

Thank you for your supportive words :) I am definitely still an AP, but in comparison to some years ago I am able to identify my patterns and self regulate my emotions much more. This is the big diffe…

Taking space from a group of friends during a prolonged outing (like in OP’s case): “Hey guys, I’ve had a great time but I’ve been feeling like I need to recharge my introverted batteries for a while…

Some clues: - If you're anxious, you may feel drawn to them, feel a spark, want to win them over/seek their approval - charismatic, fun, funny, playful energy - workaholic, or has tenden…

All insecurely attached people tend to show up the same early on in relationships. They're usually all persistent at the start, which is a sign of someone that is insecure. Secure people don't priorit…

According to Ken Reid, the playful energy can be a sign of arrested development, which can happen with insecure attachment styles. He mentioned avoidant types can sometimes develop the class clown arc…

Physical attraction.  I would never date someone I wasn’t at least somewhat intellectually attracted to. I’m aware emotional attraction was not something I was aware of (for me it was fused with intel…

Orrrrrrrr.... In the early thaw of spring, when frost still clung stubbornly to the edges of the earth, the apology remained unsent. It lingered like a letter never mailed. Its seal unbroken, its tru…

nutty safe bike rustic lavish spark marble ink six engine *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev/home)*

Why would an avoidant push me away, but then orbit me for almost 2 years — even while committed to someone else? I feel ashamed for being stuck on this.. I (32F) had a short but intense connection wi…

I am working on these things the same as you are and I am 8 years older than you so I think it’s amazing you’re this aware at 26. Some things that have helped me in my journey: -keeping myself busy w…

Text of original post by u/rkuchiki123: I have no problem getting dates, but things always seem to end after 1-3 months. Sometimes, it was my decision to break up or it was theirs but I didn't disagre…

Yup, it 100% comes from being anxiously attached. I've never broken up with someone thinking, "they were awkward this one time, I can't be with them anymore." But I wonder if it's like.. the awkward…

The spark comment is what makes us spiral and over analyze. Think of the worst-case scenario. We tend to internalize, and it drives us crazy. Without knowing the situation and I can only use my own …

They can work IF both people are moving towards secure, doing a lot of hard internal work, and have accountability. Jessica Baum, the author of "Anxiously Attached," is anxious attachment. Her exes ha…

I would suggest really digging into what is underlying the need to meet in person and “find out who we truly are”. There is only so much you will learn about someone in the short amount of time you ca…

Honestly, what you just shared sounds completely normal (I’m saying this not in an invalidating way). When you move from an on-and-off relationship to a healthy and emotionally secure one, your body a…

First of all, I’ve known him for years we’ve only been dating for two months. Also for context he has a medical condition that if he isn’t drinking enough water his body shuts down. Hence why I though…

I'm trying to explain that the intentional exclusion is likely due to your manager status. And while it's okay at your company, your direct reports may feel differently. If I were to spend lunch tryi…

It’s the real her (confused, emotional, unstable) but the real you is shattering the fantasy version of you (not your fault). Her fantasy of how your relationship was going to go just got “real” now s…

I am AA, he is displaying avoidant behaviours. I don't want to speculate on his attachment style, I can only work off of what he says and does. The honeymoon phase was fast and intense, and it ended …

If people are saying heal first, we are on the same page. There is nothing about this innocent post that should have sparked a heated discussion or snide comments. That is what is bothering me.

I went through a devastating break up three years ago. My ex was a dismissive avoidant. We were in couples therapy before the breakup. I kept seeing the same therapist after the breakup and that’s whe…

This was kinda why I asked the question. Not being able to talk about past relationships is the marker of avoidance, and having only negative things to say is the marker of anxiousness.  I totally ge…

Becoming part of this group definitely self-selects people who are already touched by the spark of insight and change. You can’t unring a bell. However, that doesn’t automatically place everyone in “m…

Text of original post by u/acidemise: The past two years I’ve done a lot of internal work on myself regarding my attachment and codependency issues. I feel that I lean more secure than ever. I recentl…

I got married to a man whom I had met online and we had only met each other about 2 times in person before marriage due to it being a very long distance relationship ( between two countries ) I only …

This might sound quite bad, and I don't want to risk anyone here thinking they are "boring". I've dated people who are more like me, anxiously attached, and that's anything but boring. It starts ver…

I totally relate. On paper I know I should want to date a secure person but when we meet that spark isn’t there or it’s hard to relate to them/ have banter. I’m still attracted to the excitement of em…

Hi everyone, I need some outside perspective. Last summer I had my first relationship at 31. It lasted about 2 months. I was very inexperienced and insecure. She is also very insecure and has hot-and…

I used to only feel intensity and the push/pull of chaos as chemistry. Like Spiritual Twist said, I had to heal my own wounds and nervous system to be attracted to peace. If you haven't read it, I HI…

Hi, just wanted to say you're not alone in this. I'm aroace (my attachment style comes to play in platonic relationships) but for the longest time in my life I denied being aromantic because I wanted…

I'm an FA also and just wanted to say, dating didn't work for me, either. This'll sound weird and probably cocky but it felt like shooting fish in a bucket. I think I've often been attracted to unavai…

Just venting a bit right now. Been talking with a woman I met at a book club and slowly becoming friends over the past few months. I'm autistic so I'm very bad at reading social signals and have to mo…

My unpopular opinion is that you’re not wrong. It can get complicated, especially the older we get. I ended things with someone because we didn’t have a romantic spark after a year. Other than that he…

You’re confusing chemistry spikes with compatibility. Healthy relationships are not supposed to feel exciting all the time. If they do, it’s usually because there’s instability, uncertainty, or interm…

Sometimes I meet a nice lady and we get along great and have a nice spark but the streets keep calling

I (30m) hit the dating pretty hard over the last six months or so. I live in a major American metro. I have gone on 15 or so first dates in this period (and some seconds or thirds). It’s always bee…

Agreeing with your comment. There's more than just "yes/no physically attracted" that goes into the decision-making of continuing to see someone. Yes, they quote "spark", but this is not usually indic…

Attraction is all relative. Get some good photos taken and write a genuine profile, including things you’re interested in that’ll spark conversations. You can get feedback on here. It may be that apps…

I've been in 3 long-ish relationships so far (4 years, 1 year and 4 years). I genuinely loved all three women. And yet I have never experienced those butterflies / sparks / excitement that online folk…

I’d love to trust the positive evidence. The last guy I went on a couple of dates with in October I believed him when he said I was gorgeous, I believed him when he said he enjoyed my company, I belie…

The pub we went to today is actually where he and I had our second date so maybe I’m feeling extra sore. I would never sleep with someone and tell them a few hours later that there isn’t a spark, I ju…

Ah, I know, or getting the “not feeling the spark” after fooling around in the bedroom during which we both agreed we needed at leats some level of feelings to get to sex 🤷‍♀️