book
Alice
Evidence
Citations (66)
I [43M] have been disowned by one sister [41F] followed quickly thereafter by having to disown my father [65M] — **TL;DR up top:** While concerned that my marriage was falling apart, I asked my sister ("Alice", who I will no longer refer to as any variant of "sister") if I could spend time at her place, during w…
Victim Blaming will not be tolerated — Hey all, Codependency can lead to a ton of behaviors and relationship styles that are less than healthy, but as we all strive to better ourselves and shed these old habits that no longer serve us, it…
“My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening.” - Alice Roosevelt Longworth — Written by Alice Roosevelt about her father, Teddy. I feel like this quote perfectly captures the dynamics of having an nParent. Whenever sympathy, positive attention or adoration is being doled out …
The dangerous 'toxic positivity' of AI therapy: A personal story — **TL;DR:** I used a customized Gemini "Gem" as a complementary therapist, but it completely failed to spot a predator. The AI interpreted extreme red flags (love bombing, gaslighting, and manipulation…
I messaged my EX and I feel better :) — Its been a LONG journey, but last night I was playing Farcry 5 on my PC for the first time in a while and I noticed my EX was on (we played together a lot and I helped buy the game and her laptop). An…
She Came Back — She came back. Not in the traditional, melodramatic sense. Not after begging and pleading, or compromising, or settling. And not because she was bored, or guilty, or having a weak moment. She …
When is love not enough? Please help me understand — When we first got together she was up front with me about her emotional issues. I was OK with them, having dealt with my own demons for so long. But I didn't realize how severe her issues were. Two co…
It gets to a point where the enablers are worse than the narcissists. — I'm not sure if anyone else relates but for me, enablers did more damage than the narcissists. It was them backing the narcissist up, making excuses for them, downplaying your experiences, and turnin…
I hate children so much(tw child abuse — I know I can’t say out loud irl and I know it’s unacceptable in society That hating children is a malice of society It’s just feeling it doesn’t lead to any action I named that hatred, discussed fo…
The Drama of the Gifted Child - A must-read for those with CPTSD — Hello all, Today, I would like to share a book I had just finished reading: The Drama of the Gifted Child by Alice Miller. It took me a long time to finish reading, because of my intentional break…
Saved by Aliens! Twelve Benevolent Encounters — [**Saved by Aliens! Twelve Benevolent Encounters**](https://youtu.be/aPMjZJDOfis) by Preston Dennett https://preview.redd.it/78ywlpbo7zsg1.jpg?width=1604&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bac3d50493e2b7125956…
THE ONLY ANSWER TO ALL YOUR QUESTIONS! (manifestation and neville) // PART 1 — (YA'LL I DONE POSTED PART 2 AND 3 - GIVE IT A READ OR DONT -YOU DO YOU LOVELIEESSSS!) Alright now ! it's gonna be some tough love so take it that way.' Also it's gonna be one long post so imma need y…
THE ONLY ANSWER TO ALL YOUR QUESTIONS! (manifestation and neville) // PART 1 — (YA'LL I DONE POSTED **PART 2 AND 3** \- GIVE IT A READ OR DONT -YOU DO YOU LOVELIEESS) Alright now ! it's gonna be some tough love so take it that way.' Also it's gonna be one long post so imma need…
Just pissed at them playing dumb — As I've grown up what's always hit me was the unfairness of it all. All this labor that I put into taking care of the narcs who parentified me. All the labor I did to take care of myself during and a…
1985 Alice in Wonderland Shifting Guided Meditation + Reality Shifting Roleplay? ᯓ★ — Hi beautiful souls! I’m trying to get as much content out as possible on my YouTube channel since I have so many ideas, but I’ve been seeing a lot of comments recently talking about me releasing a g…
4 months post Parton, realising I am doomed to repeat trauma cycles- resource request — Edit- title! Spelling- \*Partum Hello! I hope I’m posting in the right place. I have referred myself for talking therapies on the nhs, but wait times are long and I don’t have the money for private t…
This seems like you’re taking normal boundaries and attributing malice to them… If i feel someone is hurting me more than helping or asking for more than they are willing to give, i have every right t…
[We just had a discussion about this in the AvoidantAttachment subreddit.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AvoidantAttachment/comments/1kp4duk/the_hottest_hot_take/) What you're describing is very indicativ…
No one has an attachment style. You engage in behavior strategies that are effective for that specific relationship. People do end up dating others that are familiar that allows for that behavior to b…
Great recommendation! Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents is a cornerstone for understanding why validation can feel tied to self-erasure. What really stands out is you checked in with your…
It’s 100% worth having a conversation about it early on, that’s for sure. I’ve heard from female friends who are hardline childfree and from others who want kids that they’ve run into situations where…
Lots of people love bomb without any malice intended. There could be malice present , but malice is not required to make it love bombing. For people who don't understand attachment styles, love bombi…
My partner can be a bit like this, basically he's an extreme people pleaser and easily embarrassed, with an absolute horror of looking stupid. And somehow he feels I reflect on him. Obviously it's ver…
Ewww. 60+ woman weighing in here. The best party I ever gave was a Disney Princess tea party for all my grown up friends to celebrate being able to get back together post COVID. I have enough outf…
There's even more to it too, outside of the desirability part of being pretty. I'm autistic and only recently realized this thing that's been happening my whole life. Whenever I miss a social cue, o…
I wish she would. It was my fault and I was disrespectful to her on a number of occasions over our 2 years. I was never like that sober, ever, I was a loving caring partner. She did so much for me …
That is the reason behind much of what people like this do. They have an uncomfortable feeling, and as they are emotionally immature and dysfunctional, they decide to make it someone else's problem. A…
**Anthropomorphism** isn’t just a literary term. Attributing human characteristics, intentions, or moral reasoning to animals. When it tips into anger and punishment, it becomes a problematic form of…
Tony Robbins is a whole shitload less hyper these days and he has a really honest way of asking questions. No malice or praise, just a question, one of the hard ones, and it's ok to face it honestly �…
It has to be real. Im a Christian who has been seeing this stuff and I dont do meditation. I just remembered the state my brain seemed to be in when having vivid premonition dreams. I did it while awa…
Some people genuinely do not deserve to be parents; and are the source of much of the malice in this world. I do mean this in the most polite way possible, some people were just thinking with "their …
Yeah, and I know 1) it’s a temporary situation and 2) the marriage is really, truly 100% over, but obviously my dates can’t read my mind to know I’m telling the truth. If this does turn out to be de…
You guys are only 20. Dating in high school and never dating anyone else rarely results in a long term healthy marriage. It's not impossible but you guys are only still together at this moment because…
Alice in wonderland or the backrooms
Squid game is a death games show and isn’t based on real life. That would be like if I said Alice in Borderlands is a realistic depiction of Japan. I’m talking about grounded romance dramas that are a…
> Squid game is a death games show and isn’t based on real life. That would be like if I said Alice in Borderlands is a realistic depiction of Japan. Squid Game is literally a critique of Korean soci…
Yes, those are the deeper themes of squid games. But I’m talking about the premise of the show. It’s still a death/survival game and it’s not that different from Battle Royale or Alice in Borderlands.…
Maybe an additional read of some of the books by Alice Miller might help you
Will add Alice Miller to my list, thanks!
I mean we probably all read Go Ask Alice and we're pretty disappointed when we first smoked weed
I think he might just be being kinda dumb and not realizing what he is saying could be hurtful. "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." My husband says dumb stuff …
OP, this is abuse. She thinks it’s okay because she is female and you’re male. She causes you pain on purpose, after you’ve already asked her not to, and laughs at it. If the roles were reversed and …
you've been unhappy for two years, but stay due to his weaponized tears. the only thing for you to do is LEAVE. malice and manipulation aren't mutually exclusive. most people are too dumb to be m…
What about the second? Only you know the true nature of everything, but I wonder how much heavy lifting "he's an excellent father" is doing? How much crap are you just dealing with because you think …
Sadly I think that it’s a fear from their childhood that they never faced. I’ve read more or less all books of Alice Miller. And your own children are the only people you can apply the unconscious ang…
The thing that kills me about people’s weird views on avoidant attachment styles is that people act like it’s a choice someone makes, or a major character flaw. An avoidant attachment style is often a…
I am genuinely wondering if anyone can chime in. When he does this, is he going into this with malice rummaging around her things and goes «what things can I throw away, move here that will cause her …
Having been in the corporate world for 20 years, I would argue this is more perception than reality. There has been a lot of talk about getting women into leadership, but no meaningful change. A lot o…
You know, you’ve mentioned his childhood a number of times as a potential explanation for his behavior… but LOTS of people grow up with unhealthy habits that they then break as adults - because they r…
Alright let's go. First to clarify something, somebody here misinformed you, that your sun is close to your ASC. Your Sun is in fact 22 degrees away from your ASC (1H cusp). That's not close at all…
I don’t think he’s ever said stuff like that, and he would never say “way hotter than you” when referring to another woman he dated in his past. But I understand your frustration. I think his is due t…
this is a well covered phenomena. see Alice Miller’s Thou Shalt Not Be Aware: Society's Betrayal of the Child the difficult but more important part is letting go of the need to have society’s approv…
Does Alice actually care if you go or not? I would ask her instead of assuming that you going would disrespect her, because I certainly wouldn't feel that way if I was her. It would be one thing if it…
I found i rarely get annoyed without reason. Usually there is a reason, it's just subconscious. Could be a few things going on, so context and some digging are important. For me, i think some people t…
I have no insight into this, because I am dealing with the same thing. The vindictive cruelty, the malice, the threats, the absolute Insanity of his inability to acknowledge any responsibility on his …
as someone who has felt like “i wish i was hit instead ”, yeah it’s not out of malice but because then my abuser couldn’t as easily lie about what’s happening. it’s nothing to do with people who have …
Yeah assigning malice or intent here is a lot less likely when it’s possible he’s just never been in a situation like this before and his thought process got tangled.
Just get a maid named Alice and you'll be all set. Seriously though, you are each managing to parent your 4 kids separately, so just continue to do that. You don't have to move in together right now…
I feel like there is a bit of messaging there lost in translation. Knowing that Asian cultures are quite straightforward, people won't filter words, but they also don't mean it with the same malice wh…
There was BPD in my mom's family, but I'm not sure that she actually had it. It's more like she learned that she got attention and things her way by being explosively angry. One of the things sh…
I love the energy. And you're right that self-respect matters. But I want to add some nuance because I think this advice, taken at face value, can actually slow someone's healing down. "Allow yoursel…
It's weird how functional I am at my most dysfunctional. Sucks though because people assume deliberate malice when I fuck up instead of the fact that it's amazing how well I do while checked out. I on…
Black - Pearl Jam is the breakup song to me. I can’t listen to it as of now because of what I’m going through but it perfectly encapsulates the grief you feel. Love, Hate, Love - Alice In Chains is go…
Nutshell - Alice In Chains Purple Rain - Prince Every rose has its thorn - Poison Don’t Cry - Guns and roses Who’s crying now - Journey Don’t Know what you got till it’s gone - Cinderella I’m …
Pranks are only funny if everybody, including the butt of the joke, is laughing afterwards, and there’s no physical or property damage. Otherwise, they’re just malicious, and malice isn’t funny. That’…
I see you man. I experienced some of this here and there. One time on liberty caps up north I totally lost the feeling of self, I felt like a blobb of matter sinking into it self. Loss of the sense of…