promise

I [43M] have been disowned by one sister [41F] followed quickly thereafter by having to disown my father [65M] — **TL;DR up top:** While concerned that my marriage was falling apart, I asked my sister ("Alice", who I will no longer refer to as any variant of "sister") if I could spend time at her place, during w…

SEO and Digital Marketing IG accounts — Hi everyone,​ I'm looking for Instagram accounts run by digital marketing agencies that not only offer services like SEO and content marketing but also focus on educating their audience, particularly…

My co-founder decided to quit: I'm stuck and could really use some advice | I will not promote — Hey All, A few months ago, I shared my story here (original Reddit post in comments) about starting an IT consultancy business in the Netherlands with a friend right after graduation. At that time, w…

Upwind's Cloud Security CNAPP. Is it viable? — Can anyone share their real-world experience implementing Upwind's "Runtime-Powered" Cloud Security Platform? The promise of using real-time runtime data (I think they use eBPF sensors?) to focus onl…

How do you handle tracking updates + international shipping transparency in Shopify? — One challenge we’ve been facing is managing customer expectations when it comes to international shipping, especially when multiple carriers are involved (like packages moving from 4PX → USPS, or YunE…

Rejected in the final interview after a month long process — This is honestly just a rant post, because I feel completely deflated at this point. I’ve been actively looking for a job for over a year now, moved to Spain three months ago to start a new life, and…

Underestimated fulfillment in my eCommerce startup, nearly paid the price — When I launched my first eCommerce brand, I thought fulfillment was "easy" find a product, set up a store, ship orders. Simple, right? I couldn’t have been more wrong. As soon as we got traction, thi…

A Metaphorical Description of An Avoidant Reaching Out — In the quiet dusk of a long, isolated winter, an avoidantly attached soul finds the courage to break free from its self-made fortress. For years, it has wandered amid barren landscapes of guarded emo…

Learning to take space, self regulate and set boundaries as an AP earning secure — I have always leaned AP but working on security and now in a relationship with an FA leaning heavily avoidant I've realised a big goal for me is learning to self regulate and set better boundaries. Fo…

A little positive reflection for anyone feeling they’re in the trenches right now. — I only learnt what attachment theory was during a breakup with my most recent ex 2 years ago. When he dumped me seemingly out of the blue because ‘I deserved better’, ‘he needed to be alone.’ Etc etc …

Help me to recognise my attachment style please! — I (26F) am struggling with this a lot, since my patterns of romantic behavior don’t seem to fit neatly into any of the four categories (AA, FA, DA, SA). On the one hand, I clearly crave intimacy and…

Is this Deactivation? Seeking insights from FAs. Please help me understand this — We're together for 6 months, a lot of push/pull in the beginning, but by the 4th month everything was finally going fine between us. He even called me his girlfriend nd promised to heal and everything…

Triggered over broken promises — Got heavily triggered over a little promise made by my boyfriend. I asked him in the morning to send me a message once hes back home but he did not, and instead i find him gaming for hours. I feel …

I earned secure attachment in 4 months... — I can't believe I'm writing this. I did this without dating a secure person and without spending money on courses/apps. I promise I'm not selling anything. Big disclaimers: * I am only mostly secure…

Dating someone with a fearful-avoidant style has been unexpectedly… gentle? — I wanted to share a relationship experience that’s been genuinely interesting and surprisingly positive, especially for FAs and anyone curious about FA dynamics. If you are not interested in some per…

Both best friends got engaged — I (27F) have never been in a relationship and struggle to form emotional attachments at all. I've gone on dates and forced myself to keep seeing a guy because he's perfectly nice and there's nothing w…

Weekly Newcomer Questions, Support, Vents & Victories — As the community continues to grow and attract people who are just figuring this all out, we've decided to change the weekly thread focus to be more open and encourage newcomer questions and support. …

A letter to my FA Ex — I don’t even know why I’m writing anymore. I don’t know why I still pour my feelings onto paper when the person they’re meant for has emotionally switched off. Maybe this isn’t for you. Maybe it’s jus…

a song about longing for something that never was - disorganized attachment style edition (cathartic release) — Lyrics: I’m standing at a wishing well, One coin trembling in my hand, A promise pressed against my palm, A truth I barely understand. They told me I was unworthy, Long before I learned my name,…

i feel safe with being almost loved | disorganized attachment style anthem | i want love but i'm scared | (cathartic release) — Lyrics: Love, for me, is just a hallway, Soft light, shadows drifting slow. I see a silhouette approaching Then I turn before my heart can get too close. Sometimes I feel a brush of something ten…

A Splash of Cold-Water for you — **Background** Hey everyone, I'm a contributor to this subreddit, and spend time lurking from time to time. I'm quite familiar with every attachment style. I, myself, had to earn security from my ow…

A letter to my fearful avoidant ex — 31st December 2025 So here we are. Another night, another thought. It’s been nearly 25 days since Eddie left me. Recently, so many emotions have been running through my mind. I never thought I would…

Trying to navigate a "casual" relationship — Hi everyone, I (30F, trans) have been talking to/seeing a woman (24F, cis) for about 5 months. The chemistry is legitimately the strongest I’ve ever experienced - emotional, intellectual, creative, s…

I'm not sure about my attachment style but I want to discover it right now 'cause I want to start healing!!!!!! — Sorry for the long text, I want to be thorough. So, I just ended my first ever relationship. I'm 20, I'm a lesbian from a conservative background and had a lot of internalized homophobia and religiou…

I'm deactivated right now and not sure it's worth trying to save my marriage — I'm DA (40M), my wife FA (41F), 3 children. Together 17 years, married 13 years, very distant 11 years (due to my earlier long-term deactivation) with no affection or intimacy at all, working on recon…

A decision of a cub — Hey fellow Cubs and Lions, Funny, but this is my second post today (I deleted the first one) after years of silently going through the Index and the posts religiously, without posting anything at all…

Her body😫 — Weird confession and I promise I’m not a misogynist. I really miss her body more than anything right now it was LITERALLY PERFECT You guys have no idea. I feel like I won’t have another baddy like h…

Why Manifestation can FEEL Forced and Unrealistic (Success & Guidance) — Today I came upon a realization that many people do not have for most of their lives. It was the realization that our feelings and the meanings that we attach to them are also affirmations. Right no…

My boyfriend and I had an argument over his marriage demands, and now he claims he means none of it... — Tl:dr: My boyfriend of two years has a list of requirements from me after we get married, and after our argument over it, which lead us to break up-- he said he didn't mean any of it and wants to go …

My (28f) boyfriend (37m) drinks to excess nearly every weekend, am I selfish for wanting it to stop? — Throwaway account. Please tell me if I am crazy for feeling this way. My boyfriend (37m) and I (28f) have what I consider to be a generally good relationship. We’ve had some issues in the past that we…

Broke up with DA after a year. — Met her a year ago, almost to the day. Things started well, relatively slowly which was nice for a change compared to other situations I have been in around that time. After two months, we became offi…

Am I crazy? I feel like a stalker. — I (26F) don’t understand how my ex (31M) switched on me overnight, and I’m struggling to cope. We dated for almost a year. At first, he was obsessed with me. He talked constantly about our future mar…

My boyfriend (M35) and I (F27) have not said i love you, over a year of dating — TLDR; My boyfriend (M35) and I (f27) have been together for over a year, he hasn’t said I love you despite having talked about marriage, kids, future together. In a conversation he said he was apprehe…

From ‘soul mates’ to strangers — How does one even trust again. Learn to open up again. Let their wall down again. After 2 years, she’s gone. She was my girlfriend, my best friend, my partner, support system, ‘soul mate’. We had …

I (24f) am tired of cooking for my bf (25m) — i recently talked to my bf about not cooking dinner for him anymore. for context: we both work from home, have been together for 2.5 years, and have been living together for about 6 months. since movi…

My dad (56M) cut me off (21) for sleeping over at my boyfriend’s house. Now he’s blowing up at me and ruining our relationship beyond repair. — \-Sorry had to repost due to not having line breaks. I’ve always had a complicated relationship with my dad. He’s very controlling and has always been a “helicopter” parent when I was growing up. I a…

Why do I have such high standards for how friends maintain friendship with me? — I have really fufilling close friendships. I have a lot of people in my life who prob consider me a friend but for me a friend is a deep connection. So I have lots of pals / acquaintances but my “real…

Block them. That's all I have to say. — So, in July last year I went through this HORRIBLE heartbreak. And when I say it was a really awful breakup, trust me, it was. Almost four years of a strong relationship ended in a 5-minute call. My e…

You will be rewarded openly! I promise! — How to manifest your desire? Well, We all know the "How"(Techniques to get into the state) but We don't know "How" (bridge of incident) whole thing will arranged itself to produce the result of the i…

After almost 3 months practicing Gatewaytapes, this is the first time i feel my consciousness started lifting off, it's not OBE yet but it's definitely something lifted off there, i have to share this with you — I started the very first tape Orientation since Jan 26 until now i reached wave 3 tape 1 , everyday i practice one or two time but at least one a day, going through each tape i practiced at least tw…

UPDATE: My (32f) fiancé (28m) repeatedly does not clean the house — Hello lovely reddit. First relevant links. My first post I deleted (so you can peruse the comments if you are interested): [https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/18yjl0g/my\_32f\_fianc%C3%…

After almost 3 months practicing Gatewaytapes, this is the first time i feel my consciousness started lifting off, it's not OBE yet but it's definitely something lifted off there, i have to share this with you — I started the very first tape Orientation since Jan 26 until now i reached wave 3 tape 1 , everyday i practice one or two time but at least one a day, going through each tape i practiced at least two …

I think I’m falling out of love with my boyfriend — I’m 21 F and my boyfriend is 23 M, we’ve been together for three and a half years. Hoping to get some advice, but I know it’s a really complicated situation, I just don’t know how to wrap my head arou…

Six months after the worst breakup of my life, I finally understand why I couldn't heal for the first three. — I'm writing this because I wish someone had said it to me when I was in month one. For the first three months I did everything people tell you to do. I went to the gym. I saw friends. I kept busy. I …

AP’s Ex-wife was told not to talk to me. — My original post is. [https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/s/b5fIkVp6Yr](https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/s/b5fIkVp6Yr) Something that has been on my mind after having a text conv…

Discharged after a 3 star Google review — Hi! I have autism so I sometimes have a hard time figuring out how I come across . But I was at a practice that provided both APRN services and therapy . I posted a three star Google review saying I …

My (F28) partner (M28) gave me an ultimatum: him or my birds. Idk what to do — Hi everyone, I could really use some outside perspective. I (F28) have been in a relationship with my partner (M28) for about 3 years. I love him a lot and I genuinely imagined a future with him. We …

Traditional meditation feels like a chore, but my own 'quiet mind' method feels amazing. Am I missing something? — I have a particular style of meditation which I can't explain very well, but I just allow my mind to go quiet. I still have similar thoughts to daily life, but I feel like I'm only very partially enga…

Unhealthy Living Conditions with Piano — Like many asian kids I was made to play an instrument. Specifically I was made to play the piano. I'm not that particularly gifted at it. I have hearing issues in my right ear (tinnitus). I didn't hav…

I (26F) told my boyfriend (26M) I sometimes miss the freedom of being single and he broke up with me on my birthday — I (26F) have been with my boyfriend (26M) for about 2.5 years. A couple nights ago we were lying down together and having a really open conversation about different things going on in our lives. The …

Questions for people who have shifted :> (or just have done a lot of research) — This is just a bunch of questions Ive had. I believe in shifting, I’m just curious about some specifics (sorry if these are absolutely idiotic) 1. Can you script you forget about this reality? Will i…

I have read that Neville lost a large part of his audience after he started preaching "The Promise" can you comment on what happened Moonbeam..?

At first you tell yourself it’s the only way to get them back. You give yourself little pep talks like “I’ll commit to NC for at least 1 month” Then you realize that ur surviving without them and the…

If you know the experience when using this method..Kaloom Quantum leaping is the most intense astro body experience and anyone can do it. [www.lovelifewellnesscoaching.com](https://www.lovelifewellnes…

Thats not true, just because they are not going to come back, I can promise good or bad, they DO think about you, they DO often miss you, and many times they still love you. Just not enough or in the …

You can't really be sure though. You're just guessing. You can never really know what's in another person's mind. Nor can you promise that someone is thinking about someone else. They MIGHT miss you. …

This is a neat way to look at it! And yeah, for cases that are more nuanced, when I give advice on here, I make it a point to try and see what might be going on from the other side, then suggest cours…

If it comes to new age stuff like LOA/LOB/Law of assumption I actually agree with you to a certain degree but not entirely. So let me explain where I disagree. Most people who follow Joseph Murphy, LO…

Thanks for your opinion on my 10% figure. Besides that, I did not say partners should be at my convenience. I said other aspects of life can throw a relationship’s typical patterns out of balance. Ha…

I think what others are saying unless someone says I hate you, then it's based on your feelings. Feelings are 100% valid but not facts. I'm anxiously attached and felt many people have disliked me ov…

You can ruin potential connections and negatively impact your social life this way, if that's any important to you. As kindly as I can, this is is a common misconception people can have about avoida…

I've been in this exact situation when I was an FA in a LDR with another FA in another country. And our f2f time was very little like yours but we spoke daily, intensely and talked and had plans. I kn…

As a man who has been on both sides of the coin… bear with me cause this is a long read but it has relevance I promise.  I’ve been the anxious wreck begging and pleading. Saying stuff like “you don’t…

DAs are already very self-critical. Most criticism we receive from others, we’re already aware of and have gone to great lengths to conceal and/or correct said issue. Even if said criticism is somethi…

I completely relate it’s really tough, but also if you’re only getting negative feelings from it it’s not going to help that loneliness - it will get easier I promise

What we consider the basic features of an IDP catalog and template are in the end pretty empty promises and do not lead a successful IDP and developer engagement. Surprisingly enough what made the mo…

You're absolutely right to question. This is such the norm in the dating scene, it's crazy! From my experience, what I can say is that you're definitely dealing with a DA type here. Idk if you got int…

Honestly the amount doesn't matter. Everyone pretty much starts the same way. Worked a full time job while starting my business. Essentially spent every moment of free time before and after work …

There’s a world of hype, starry-eyed optimism and straight up false promises out there. But AI systems are running in the background for many businesses and saving them a lot of time and money. We b…

Thank you for sharing :) I also thought he might be a DA because he’s also not good at expressing his needs, even when I tried to create a safe and non judgmental space for him to do so. But then he a…

Haha, I'm not looking for an applause, just sharing what worked for me. Maybe it might help someone else, maybe it might not. Anyhow, for me, bending over backwards would be to give into their needs …

I'm a neuroscientist and I know a conditioned puppy when I see one. I will continue to meet what I sense being 110% wrapped up in classical conditioning and subjective emotions with 110% mental clar…

Heidi Priebe videos cover this alot, the hyper focus on fixing others to get our needs met Ultimately it's about accepting that sometimes people we like are not meant for us and we aren't meant for …

So instead of replying individually and repeating myself, I'm just going to make a comment addressing it all. Firstly, it was interesting to read all these perspectives. I see where some of its comin…

Idk about this. As an FA who dated a DA and lost time like OP in a situationship for a year, both avoidants have boundaries, but are less likely to discuss them at depth or compromise.

Some of these comments are saying silly (and heteronormative) things like "weird around children" or "checks out other women when they think you're not looking". Obvious reminder that being uncomforta…

My relationship with a DA just ended about 6 months ago, after being together for about 6 years too. My real healing didn't begin until I decided to go no contact with him. If he had it his way, he wo…

Hey. How would you explain DA almost never being attached in early stages of a relationship (first months lets say) why is it so common for them to act loke they are the most attached to the other per…

[We just had a discussion about this in the AvoidantAttachment subreddit.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AvoidantAttachment/comments/1kp4duk/the_hottest_hot_take/) What you're describing is very indicativ…

Before I say anything else, I want to say that there's no excuse for abuse, including emotional abuse. Ever. I'm sorry to hear you've experienced that. I also don't think an anxious person should sac…

As someone from the other side, It is definitely the worst feeling to go through this with a FA. I feel like ever since being with my ex-husband and going through it, I constantly still find myself lo…

Very helpful explanation. Makes sense. So its rather genuine sharing at the esrly stage your visions of future you are excited about to have wit the person (that eventually is unable to be met as def…

You find that expectations and promises are coming first from a partner and avoidants cant communicate other then saying what they feel are expected to say/promise? Or is it rather the the level of hi…

Okay,just by that message- i would hear him out. I would be okay to just meet and hang out and see where it goes. But going forward, his actions need to indicate their differences this time. I'm assum…

Girl, bye. ETA: I know it is extremely tempting and they might even be good for a little while, but it will happen again and you will get hurt even more the second time around. You will be so much be…

OP please read the above and take it to heart! (FA here, married to DA) Way too many people confuse attachment style with: A) personality B) their feelings for you. It's just attachment style,…

It's easier if instead on focusing on what they're doing wrong and what you don't like you focus on what you're willing to invest and describing an alternative that would be acceptable for you both. T…

Ok I’m going to be totally honest here and I promise I’m not trying to be hurtful. But she’s a grown adult. It was way too controlling for you to try to tell her that she wasn’t allowed to come into …

I also get very anxious. I try to act secure but my brain is going insane. Always overanalyzing, preoccupied, I genuinely cannot tell when I am overreacting and when I am right, so I always override m…

Hey OP, thank you for being so open, truly. That raw fear of abandonment, the intense pull-push of wanting connection while also feeling like you’ll be “too much” for someone is all classic anxious pr…

This is so much like what I have been experiencing. He could say exactly what the problems were, exactly what he should be doing, started therapy, but there just wasn’t follow through ! And accounta…

Yes, that makes sense. I think we may be experiencing two different things honestly. I’m a very open communicator and will tell someone if I’m not comfortable sharing if they prompt me. My experiences…

Go slow, always offer space. And, difficult but, when it’s something out of proportion, or irrational, that’s not something to take personally. FA brain is always on hyper vigilant mode. And it’s no…

"The last FA I dated shit tested me early on, dumping some not so flattering info about herself just to see how I would react." • Mine has done it throughout all 4 years! I faltered a few times, yes…

For me, being healed doesn’t mean that I’ll never be triggered by someone’s actions again. Rather, it means that when I recognize that someone is triggering me, I am able to remove myself from the sit…

Thank you for your kind words! Actually you're very right and that's exactly the decision I've done a year ago - im purposely single for a year now, after the series of short relationships. It's actua…

First, controversial opinion: there's nothing wrong with wanting consistent texting. It's ok to ask for that and consider how much you really want that, or to see if you can find a compromise with you…

Help me to recognise my attachment style please! I (26F) am struggling with this a lot, since my patterns of romantic behavior don’t seem to fit neatly into any of the four categories (AA, FA, DA, SA…

Sorry to hear you're going through this. I've been through something similar. Overall the biggest thing that helped was accepting that they can break up with me and my obsessing won't change that. I…

’m in a really difficult spot with my boyfriend. We’ve been together since late 2021, and recently he’s been second-guessing our relationship. I think im anxious and he’s avoidant. I’m 22 and he’s 25 …

I could agree with you if not for my AA ex🤔 He wasn't perfect at all (for example i struggled a lot with him quitting his job and sabotaging finding the new one), but I still stayed because he was gi…