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owe her

r/raisedbynarcissistsUpdated 30 days ago
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Citations (52)

Wonderful. My mother fell again...in the parking lot of my building.

Wonderful. My mother fell again...in the parking lot of my building. — Well, according to her, anyway. I don't know how to handle my mother when she won't leave my apartment, so she cleans every square inch and/or centimeter. She claims that she's "abused" while she doe…

r/raisedbynarcissistspost4/12/2026
Questions about going no contact

Questions about going no contact — My mom’s manipulative games finally backfired on her and she has ended up in a serious health situation. She refuses to accept that she cannot care for herself right now, if ever, and has continued to…

r/raisedbynarcissistspost4/11/2026
I despise myself for having avoidant tendencies.

We’re not exclusive. I feel disconnected from my emotions, so I’m trying to flush out If really like her or if I’m being performative. I feel like I owe her that since I’m perusing her.

r/attachment_theorycomment7/30/2025
Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! - February 23, 2026

I guess some people are less private about their family life and are therefore more comfortable just sharing away. But if the date started insisting you to do the same or act as if you owe her the sam…

r/datingoverthirtycomment2/23/2026
My mom called my son’s birthday party “f***ing embarrassing” because she cares more about what people think than celebrating him

Your party sounds lovely and perfect and friendly and hospitable and exactly like what a 1-year-old's birthday should be-- relaxed and low pressure and full of laughter and love. Your mom's attitude…

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment3/10/2026
I’ve been with a narc for 5 years and I don’t recognize myself anymore. How do I get "me" back?

You will find yourself again. Cut off all contact with that person and focus on yourself and what makes you feel happy. I left my ex 3 years ago in June and while I'm still finding myself, I also feel…

r/NarcissisticAbusecomment3/10/2026
My (18F) girlfriend told me she is taking 5 days to think over if we should break up. What should I (19M) do?

It's not necessarily emotional manipulation, but it could be. You say this is out of character for her and feels abrupt in an otherwise healthy relationship. It was a shitty move on her part to break …

r/relationshipscomment3/10/2026
Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! - March 14, 2026

I was just in this situation for the past few months as the guy. We still live together for a few more weeks too, so it's tough as I get to hear how often she thinks I dont listen. I decided to go t…

r/datingoverthirtycomment3/14/2026
My mother sent my childhood abuser to my home, after I have been successful at making sure he never knows where I live.

Its time to go no contract with you mom and move again. She burned her bridge doing the one thing she knew not to. Never talk to her again. She just showed you she will never change and she will alway…

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment3/16/2026
My mother sent my childhood abuser to my home, after I have been successful at making sure he never knows where I live.

I say this with my whole chest, You don’t owe her love OR loyalty. Family is just a word sometimes and it’s ok to cut ties, ESPECIALLY when it comes down to your own safety and peace of mind. I …

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment3/16/2026
Being the good spouse doesn’t guarantee a good marriage

This is me. I feel as though I’m either having an identity crisis or want a divorce and I can’t tell the difference between the two. I’m 34 and my wife is 35. Two kids aged 7 and 5. We are high schoo…

r/Divorcecomment3/16/2026
Ex-wife is adamantly opposed to me introducing anyone to the kids ever. Any advice?

Why are you allowing her to have a say in your own life anyway. That's the beauty of divorce, the ex can't make decisions in your life. I mean, I can see if it were a different situation and you choos…

r/Divorcecomment3/18/2026
Girlfriend(26F) of 3 months slapped me(32M) in the balls for a third time

That’s disgusting. I’m so sorry man. You do not owe her a thing. Leave.

r/relationship_advicecomment3/18/2026
Break up 2 days before my girlfriend’s graduation, or wait a week? (32m & 25f)

I’m team : absolutely don’t go to the graduation. Don’t be in the pictures , don’t meet the family. Stay home and fake being sick if you have to. If you think she will take it badly, wait unti…

r/relationship_advicecomment3/18/2026
My mother sent my childhood abuser to my home, after I have been successful at making sure he never knows where I live.

Thank you, he has not showed up yet and I haven't spoken to my mom since. I feel like I'm grieving and alone. I always held hope one day she would apologize for not protecting me but to just outrigh…

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment3/19/2026
My ex messaged me.

He doesn’t owe her that - she’s playing emotional warfare with his mind and heart by breadcrumbing him, which leaves him sitting around wondering about her, why she texted, what she wants, etc. A conv…

r/BreakUpscomment3/19/2026
Ex-wife is adamantly opposed to me introducing anyone to the kids ever. Any advice?

She doesn’t get a say. You don’t owe her any explanations or notices.

r/Divorcecomment3/19/2026
My (M19) Gf (F19) constantly asks for details on me being raped because she "can't wrap her head around it", is this worth it?

One of the most important things you have to keep in mind when dating is that dating only works if you eliminate bad options from the pool. It's easy to lose sight of, but true. Dating shows you your …

r/relationship_advicecomment3/20/2026
Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! - March 20, 2026

You need to nip this in the bud. Why are you talking to each other like you're in a relationship when you haven't even met her? She has already said some things you don't like so just... cut her loose…

r/datingoverthirtycomment3/21/2026
32 (M) seeking some new perspectives

You owe her nothing. It's not a fault to be unable to overcome it.

r/survivinginfidelitycomment3/22/2026
My (31M) GF (28F) Informed Me That She Kissed a Stranger At an Outing While Playing Truth or Dare 2 Months Ago. How do I navigate this?

Follow your istinct and end it. It's not only what she did but the fact that she try to dismiss it and doesn't owe her responsibility for the betrayal of your trust. Trust me, this woman is not relati…

r/relationship_advicecomment3/23/2026
if you're in this vibe, you're not alone

It's her way of decompressing and I recognized it right away, she's always super chatty but doesn't have many people to share the more serious things so I listen. It doesn't really bother me because p…

r/experiencerscomment3/23/2026
Mom wants to review financials with me 2x a year to receive my inheritance

Manipulation 101, no ma'am. Mom is bored and looking for content. You owe her nothing how does dad feel about this. There was a very similar post years ago and the mom made a threat about inheritance.…

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment3/24/2026
They Came Back After I Moved On.

You don’t owe her a response just because she showed up again. Especially after she trashed you to her friends and told you to get yourself together

r/BreakUpscomment3/24/2026
Divorce is Finalized BUT… WTF is wrong with me?

Wow be strong you deserve better sell the house let her move on with the guy she had an affair with you owe her nothing for that betrayal There are people that would appreciate you life too short to…

r/Divorcecomment3/25/2026
I 20M broke up with my 21F girlfriend after she proposed to open up our relationship and now everyone is telling me to get back with her basically

She wanted permission to cheat, that’s all. You don’t owe her any other kind of conversation, but it’d be smart to sit your parents down and tell them exactly what went down so her parents don’t influ…

r/relationship_advicecomment3/25/2026
I 20M broke up with my 21F girlfriend after she proposed to open up our relationship and now everyone is telling me to get back with her basically

You don't owe her shit so don't give her another minute of your time You also don't owe your parents an explanation either Tell them all to eat shit and get fucked..

r/relationship_advicecomment3/25/2026
I'm (F33) struggling to tell a friend (F40) I can't share an apartmwnt with her on a trip because she's a terrible roommate.

Is there any chance Lisa complains about you at your job for refusing to room with her? That'd be my main concern. If this is a trip you are paying for yourselves despite it being generally industry …

r/relationshipscomment3/26/2026
I 20M broke up with my 21F girlfriend after she proposed to open up our relationship and now everyone is telling me to get back with her basically

It sounds like there has been an expectation from both families that you two will end up together. That can be a lot of pressure to put on someone. Plus you are both of an age where you're starting to…

r/relationship_advicecomment3/26/2026
What is the difference between being too clingy/attached and being neglected?

If someone's too busy with other friends, it's because they are consciously making those choices to be & unlikely to change anything since that's exactly what they want to be doing with their free tim…

r/Codependencycomment3/26/2026
Your birth is seen as a debt that you must repay

my nmom owes me money because she promised to give it back and when i ask her to repay me, she says that i owe her and shouldn’t ask for it back because she brought me to life

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment3/27/2026
Your birth is seen as a debt that you must repay

My mom had made me pay back the cost of college three times over, despite talking me out of a full ride, and talking me into going to the better college  she could brag about at the time My parents a…

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment3/27/2026
Your birth is seen as a debt that you must repay

When Nmother said she tried to abort me, and so I owe her for letting me live, I said “I didn’t ask to be here. Would’ve been better if you were successful- no kid deserved to be treated like how you …

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment3/27/2026
Your birth is seen as a debt that you must repay

Contrary to some of you I didnt get a bill, but I remember in my youth I heard several times I would owe her, because of birth.. At some point I said, I didnt ask to be born where she burst out in tea…

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment3/27/2026
I (20M) haven't slept in my own bed in almost 2 months because of my (19F) girlfriend

She isn’t your child. She is her own adult. You’re both young adults, but that counts. If someone is more work than fun, you HAVE to walk away. I made several glaring errors in my earlier years of n…

r/relationship_advicecomment3/27/2026
Update: Tried to set boundaries, now they want to be paid 25k

My older sister used my other sister's money to pay off her college tuition and buy a car, then got married and left. My parents handed the money to her without my sister's permission. She never paid …

r/AsianParentStoriescomment3/27/2026
I (20M) haven't slept in my own bed in almost 2 months because of my (19F) girlfriend

You are undereacting.  She is emotionally abusing you.  Women can be abusers too, and men can ne abused.  Nothing she is doing is remotely okay. You start by setting boundaries about your time and w…

r/relationship_advicecomment3/28/2026
Your birth is seen as a debt that you must repay

Felt this. My nMother used to love holding the fact that my her pregnancy with me and my birth were high risk for her, one of her favorite lines growing up was “I died giving birth to you!” whenever I…

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment3/28/2026
nmom ruining my pregnancy by bullying my body — went no contact again and she won’t stop blowing up my phone

Time to completely block her on all mediums. Then block all of her flying monkeys, that could also mean blocking your sister too. You really don’t want her anywhere near you when you give birth. You…

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment3/28/2026
My full story 2 weeks since DDay 4 days NC

OP seriously how low self-esteem you have to plead her to return after 4 DDays and all the shit she did and how she treated you? You play the pick me dance so hard that you lose yourself respect and …

r/survivinginfidelitycomment3/29/2026
I (32m) found out my partner (32f) cheated on me while she was away on holiday. She doesn’t know that I know. How do I navigate this?

You break up with her… you tell her straight up. I suppose you could give her the benefit of telling you the truth by leading off with, “before I end this relationship, is there anything you’d like t…

r/relationship_advicecomment3/29/2026
I (32m) found out my partner (32f) cheated on me while she was away on holiday. She doesn’t know that I know. How do I navigate this?

You focus on yourself. Prepare everything so you will be in a good position when you leave. Find a good friend or a therapist to support you. When you are set, you leave. You don't owe her anything a…

r/relationship_advicecomment3/29/2026
I (32m) found out my partner (32f) cheated on me while she was away on holiday. She doesn’t know that I know. How do I navigate this?

Get everything of hers packed for when she returns. There’s no reason to torture yourself additionally by living with her extra days. On the day she returns call her family to explain as well as ensur…

r/relationship_advicecomment3/29/2026
r/relationship_advicecomment3/29/2026
I (32m) found out my partner (32f) cheated on me while she was away on holiday. She doesn’t know that I know. How do I navigate this?

>1. How and when should I bring this up? Do I tell her I went through her phone after having the same feeling I had in my previous relationship? Do I tell her one of her African friend messaged me pri…

r/relationship_advicecomment3/29/2026
I (32m) found out my partner (32f) cheated on me while she was away on holiday. She doesn’t know that I know. How do I navigate this?

What conversation is needed? You owe her nothing. You should give her nothing. I would pack up the vast majority of her stuff and take it to her closest relative or friend or even a cheap motel room. …

r/relationship_advicecomment3/30/2026
What do I do with the Gift?

Honestly, you don’t owe her anything, especially a gift or a letter meant to make her feel guilty. Hold onto your words for yourself, let them be a release, and burn or recycle the gift instead; the r…

r/BreakUpscomment3/31/2026
My (M27) Best friend since High School (F26) told me she cheated after we got engaged

I’m sorry bud, but she lied to you. You even suspected the guy, and she pulled the “he’s harmless” card! You don’t owe her anything, I went through a painful situation years ago, same thing, I couldn’…

r/relationship_advicecomment4/1/2026
Dumpee wont let go.

His boundaries being weak doesn't excuse her breaking them. It's clear that attempting to end things in person will not work, that's already been tried and failed. He doesn't owe her any more attempt…

r/ExNoContactcomment4/1/2026
My 71 year old mother escalated to throwing objects at me tonight because I started vacation from work

Yeah I couldn’t get that out of my head while I read the post. If I made that much I would have moved as far away from my mom as I could/would have gone no contact with her a LONG time ago. She wouldn…

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment4/2/2026
Two year relationship down the drain.

Ghost her and take a friend to the concert. You owe her nothing.

r/survivinginfidelitycomment4/2/2026
Realising I was raised in a non-religious household that *felt* really religious. Anyone else?

Omg yes this is my life! My mom made us go to church (which was fine) however it was never about her living up to those standards. It was me and my dad and sis that had to. She used religion as a way …

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment4/3/2026