disgust

Thank you thank you for all of this. You know, I first skimmed the beginning in the notification, and life got busy so I didn't read the whole thing until now. It's extremely helpful to hear your so…

FA trying to be more secure, need some insigh on relationship to have "fresh eyes" on it and not just my insecure one — Hi, So, I'm FA and my partner is secure. We're living together and are together for 9month now, it's going good and we're doing our best in the healthiest way to navigate the complicated stuff (I hav…

Starting over — Heya, I don’t want this to be a negative thread— looking for some positivity and hope maybe? I (34F) am recently out of a one year relationship. It was my first secure relationship in my entire adult…

Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…

Can I get some assurance from reformed people pleasers 🥲? — And some advice? Not necessarily on "what to do" because I know how to set boundaries in theory. It's managing the guilt and fear of fallout that I struggle with and I do because all my life any time …

The way trauma shapes your attachment system... — I'm FA and I was reminiscing on what my love life was like as a teenager and young adult. I remember the feeling I had when someone showed interest in me, it was very much of disgust and suspicion. …

Mom self harms in front of us since I was 8 yrs old. I haven’t been able to stop doing the same. — My mom would start beating herself whenever something tragic happened to her (failing an exam, fight w father etc.) or even because of me sometimes, she’d tell us (when my siblings and I were still ki…

I recently found out my close friend slept with my girlfriend while we were together. I'm struggling with how to process it. — I’m a 22-year-old Japanese guy and I recently learned something that completely changed how I see a lot of people in my life. About a year and a half ago I was in a serious relationship. We lived tog…

Married 5 months after 10 years together (M32 / F29) — she started talking to another guy right after the wedding. We’re now on a 30-day separation and I don’t know what to do. — I’m looking for honest advice from people who have either been through something like this or have perspective I might not be seeing right now. My wife (F29) and I (M32) have been together for about …

I’m the problem. — My husband is perfect; amazing Dad who does half if not more than half of the school runs. He cooks every night, he brings me a cup of tea in bed every morning. He is supportive of my job (I’m C Suite…

I Genially Think My (35F) Husband (36M) is a Psychopath — Hi everyone, please I need help. I’m 35F and my husband is 36M. We’ve been married for 10 years and have two boys (7 and 5). I honestly don’t know what to think anymore. About three months ago my hus…

Update: How can I(20F) tell my boyfriend (20M) about my sexual preferences when he has already expressed disgust over it? — Alright, so even though no one asked for it I’m back with an update. First of all, thank you to everyone that commented, I swear on everything that I read each and every single comment. Thank you for…

read this if you are confused — Yes I have shifted, here is the mindset that brought me to this point. If this does not resonate with you move on. For those who follow the Law of Assumption, non duality etc I intend this will make …

Differentiating deactivation vs genuine incompatibility — I (30F) have been dating my current partner (28M) for nine months. We spent a lot of the relationship long distance (everything except the first month) and my partner is now moving to the state I live…

How to get rid of cuckold thoughts — Embarrassing post, so throwaway account being used. I have OCD with very prominent intrusive thoughts. Recently, my girlfriend of over 3 years just cheated on me (snuck him into her room and had sex).…

how do you live with the harm you've caused in the past? — Four months ago, I broke up with my ex. We were going through a rough patch but from their perspective, it was nothing we hadn't gone through before. I completely blindsided and discarded them (a term…

I hate it when Asians take advantage of other Asians to make sales — As Asians, we want to support “Asian-owned” businesses right? I rather buy in auntie’s more expensive mom and pop grocery store than a chain grocery store, if there’s a choice. Then there’s Asians wh…

I hate everything — I got threatened with marriage because I seemed like I gained weight through video call. And because I had the audacity to wake up late. And my brother is a piece of shit that sees nothing wrong ever …

My (19f) boyfriend (19m) keeps telling me I’m at high risk of diabetes. How do I address this? — I am a 19 year old woman. I am 5 foot 9 inches tall (177cm), my body weight is 67kg, my BMI is 21.4, body fat percentage is 15.8%, and body fat mass 10.6kg. I go to the gym 5 days a week and perform c…

My mom flipped out on me for buying second hand clothes — I (16f) just bought a second hand jacket off of ebay that was really nice quality and in good condition. My mother saw me put it in the washing machine and freaked out on me. Saying it was dirty and d…

Sorry I know this is negative — I’m sorry I know this isn’t the right place to say this stuff but I just hate myself everything that comes out of my mouth is embarrassing. Everyone knows I’m crazy. I honestly have never been proud o…

I hate my best friends boyfriend and I feel miserable — This is a small rant, but I just need to write it out to a bunch of strangers. Basically, my friend (21F) met her boyfriend (26M) a few months ago. They seemed to click almost instantly, which isn’t a…

My mom who disowned my for being gay is ready to forgive me, oh and for me to financially support her and my dad after he retires of course. — I don’t speak to any of my family anymore because they disowned me for being gay after i was outed. It hurt at the time but honestly the more time i spent away from them the more i realized how awful …

Honestly, screw you — Screw you and your messed up sense of morality. You were awful to me. You cheated, you lied, you hid things from me. You awful lustful selfish man. You betrayed me, the person you said you wanted to m…

I am 18F and I’m exhausted dealing with my Indian mom who practically worships her narcissistic, manipulative younger brother and lets him control my life while treating me like garbage. — My mom (44F) has two younger brothers. The one I’m talking about is the middle child. He’s married and has a 10-year-old daughter. In my opinion he is one of the most narcissistic, selfish, and arroga…

My mother sent my childhood abuser to my home, after I have been successful at making sure he never knows where I live. — Conversation is below. I have been very careful making sure my brother never knows where I live, as he beat me as a child so much police intervened and I was such a mess I was mandated to go to thera…

Feeling genuine disgust when my parents seem proud of me/brag about my accomplishments — Is it just me that experiences this weird psychological twist of sorts? My parents only seem proud of me when I conform to their “ideal” image of me. Mind you, when that was the case my depression wa…

My mother is super affectionate now that I'm an adult and she has dementia. It disgusts me. — My mother doesn't remember the screaming, my mother doesn't remember her calling me stupid everyday, she doesn't remember her telling me to get out of her house. She talks to me now in a baby voice, s…

The most disgusting thing they do. — Im sure I’m not the only one who has experienced this.. The most disgusting thing that my ex has done is made be believe I could trust him. We were friends for years prior to us dating, and he would …

Calling AM on her bluff, even if it means she becomes homeless — \*\*\*\*Warning this contains Abuse, this is not for everyone if you’re under 18 please do not continue reading this. I’ll try to make it brief. My AM was a single parent of 5 kids. That’s where he…

My (M19) Gf (F19) constantly asks for details on me being raped because she "can't wrap her head around it", is this worth it? — Me and my gf (both 19) have been dating for 2 years. 4 or 5 months before we started I was raped by an older woman. She tried to play being my friend and it just happened. I have never told anyone ab…

I normally don’t like to talk about my issues outside of therapy because I just want people to see me as normal, but I’m 36 and still can’t get past the effects of trauma from my childhood. — I grew up with a mom who is obviously mentally ill, very likely borderline personality disorder at the very least. I grew up white trash in poverty surrounded by drugs and trashy people my whole life …

I (21M) have survived two decades of severe physical, emotional, and financial abuse from my Indian parents. I'm finally exhausted and need to tell my story. I am not free yet. — # TL;DR: I'm a 20-year-old only child in India who has endured severe physical, verbal, emotional, and financial abuse from my parents since toddlerhood. They have beaten me, medically neglected me, …

(tw: trafficking) I can't interact in queer (or even fandom) spaces because of all the sex — *"Oh yay, someone recommended I watch this fun, light-hearted new movie about a gay couple! I sure hope it isn't actually an uncomfortable, borderline-rapey story about a 24/7 bdsm dynamic that goes p…

why cant i feel proud about being chinese? — ive (M16) continually started to notice that i refer to myself as asian, and i rarely say that im specifically chinese. this isnt a thing where i bend over backwards for white people or see them as a …

I Can't Stand My Mom — When I was younger, my parents basically used me as an emotional punching bag. Most of the memories I have of my childhood are them screaming at me over some minor mistake that I made. A lot of the ti…

Help me please — Created this account just to talk about this I don’t know if it would reach a lot of people but I don’t feel like it’s appropriate to post on main I feel so empty right after I just felt alive I don’…

the narcissist catchphrase bingo list — edit 1: jesus christ my initial 32 I wrote already look like they arent a lot lmao (the comments in total added 45 UNIQUE PHRASES HOLY JESUS) , okay heres the updated list (most of the updates will be…

30F My 30M keeps commenting on what I eat with a magnifying glass. How do I go about telling him how this makes me feel? — My SO and I have been married for almost 5 months. He had made some weight based comments in the past that were extremely hurtful, we talked about it and he said he would stop. For context, I have aut…

I need people to let me know if I should seek professional help — Hi, for my own privacy let me tell you that I am not an adult but I am not a child either. I have a small fear that I might have a psychotic disorder or I might do something bad later in life. In shor…

How do I restore my dignity after getting played and lowering myself too much for someone? — Someone persued me and as soon as I reciprocated they abandoned me. I ended up chasing them and they acted in really horrible mean ways and Im afraid I lowered myself in the moment but I wasn't aware …

Boyfriend insults me in fights — I (32f) have been with my boyfriend (36m) for just over a year. I’ve noticed lately that when I disagree with something and have an opinion that is opposite of him he gets upset. If he critiques me I …

Update after miscarriage and blindside divorce from STBXH — Two months ago my STBX husband (39M) blindsided me (34F) while I was pregnant. I was abroad doing a graduate course when he ended our marriage by text. Three weeks after he dropped me off at the airp…

Message to victims who are considering to stay. — 3 years ago I found out my wife had affairs earlier. It all came out one dramatic day and over the weeks other items came out. Trickle down truth (the worst) I was devastated. Couldn't eat. Could…

17F, my parents read my private chats out loud and still don’t trust me 2 years later — I’m 17F, and something happened 2 years ago that my parents still haven’t let go of. Back when I was in 10th grade, I started talking to a guy online. It was just casual at first, and within a few da…

16M mental health declining — I think that really, there are around 4-5 things I can think of that contribute to my mental health declining,mostly rooted in isolation, so this might drone on. Firstly, in the about year & a half i…

My boyfriend (M25) saw an old video of me(F24) and was disgusted. How can I get over this? — I never thought I’d be making an advice post on reddit, but everyone in my present life is super split on the issue and can’t really relate. I genuinely don’t know how to fix this. So my boyfriend (M…

Is it just me or am I just getting sick of how people on social media are so comfortable with being outright disrespectful and rude towards others. — I’ve been apart of many friend groups and communities and alot of the times when I tried to make friend’s with others or even just talk about things wether it’s depression,or philosophy,people just ge…

26[M] and my 23[F] me and her just recently cut things off. — Things were going really good in the beginning, she was sweet and nice but I realized she was a very different and strange. Like maturity wise, she had so many issues she was very controlling when I’d…

Am I doing the right thing? F42, — So I'm 42 female.. been engaged for the last 4 years..to a great guy.. but from day one there hasn't been the intimacy there from my side.. I fell for his caring and funny side but over the years the …

Would you forgive this ? — (Ex’s name) I know we aren’t together anymore but since there are still feelings there and we are still present in each others lives I feel like you should know. Last night at the party I got really …

Glad it helped you in some way. I’ve felt like a whiny little wimp for getting PTSD from something that I saw as not a true threat to life. Babies and children absolutely register lack of affection…

I love my ex but we were so toxic together and our breakup did wonders in showing me how horrible our relationship was and just how much work I have to do on myself. My hope is maybe… in the future we…

Hahaha, I love it. I would say it's more acknowledging that you can feel 2 emotions at once. On different ends if the spectrum. I hate you AND I miss you. You disgust me AND you made me feel someth…

I definitely have much less and less tolerance for dismissive avoidant individuals once I identified those traits in my mother, realized they’re a root of pretty much all my lifelong trauma, and start…

You don't even have to believe on a conscious level.  Read the index and do two relaxation sessions every day.  Boring, disgustingly boring, every day for 2-3 months or more. On top of that, you'r…

I don't think it's hate, it's just a 'ok that's done now' door close moved on. Heidi Priebe on YT (video: avoidant blindspot) talks about the idea in her videos about avoidant behavior of having the …

I’m FA. I hate people I cared about a week ago, yes. If they hurt me on purpose or they are revealed to be a manipulative or disingenuous person. Then the love I had for them has nowhere to go, and tu…

I am really sorry. Mine would lose his erection constantly. I felt so disgusting. I don't know how you deal with it.

Tbh I look for someone who is able to understand my POV when I tell a story, means show empathy not dismissing/judging, someone who is able to reassure me when I have my doubts, someone who doesnt tre…

The way this made me CACKLE after I clicked the headline. Thanks for that. It's kinda disgusting how much of a market there is for this type of advice. So many snakeoil salesfolks out there promisin…

Oh you mean that as we showed our true selves and you looked disgusted we shoved those parts of ourselves down, the way everyone does as children?

OP, some helpful advice for once: start focusing on enjoying your life and loving yourself first and foremost. It's a sad reality but a reality nonetheless that most people in life -- in fact probably…

From the purely bystander's perspective, ie. the rational and adult brain perspective with 0 emotions involved, him telling you to "act normal" was yet another of his defense mechanisms. From the po…

Have you managed to overcome these behaviours? If so, How did you manage to?? I’m in my 20s and do pretty much everything you’ve described, in the moment I can’t see the full weight of what i’m doing,…

Work on your shame wounds. Deep down, anxious attachers believe “if they saw the real me, the whole of me, they’d realize I’m broken/disgusting/stupid/too much etc. and therefore worthless and unlovab…

Since like teenage years I’ve only had like 3 serious relationships but I’ve dated a number of people. Prior to my first serious (teens) I would date someone I “liked” and then break up with them li…

Yes, this has happened to me (DA). You might recognize some elements: my thought process was that I'd realized that I'm prone to seeing red flags that aren't really there to have an excuse to get away…

Very astute observation with IFS: It happens infrequently, but it can actually encourage psychosis and dissociative conditions due to think of oneself as a multiple rather than integrated whole, so it…

I’m not on the regular dating apps anymore because I got ghosted >!and disgusting messages!<. Instead I try to find people that have the same interests, sometimes starting out as just friends and see …

Im angry and disgusted (not at you personally) that people are automatically insinuating that avoidant people would make bad parents. First of all, being avoidant is not permanent. And no one said “Im…

First step, look into the feelings of self disgust that you experience while looking for a boyfriend. Where do they come from? Why is it pathetic? Would it matter if it is?

My ex dumped me in a cruel-hearted way on September 8 (I’ve written a ton about it in comments and posts in my history if you’re interested), texted me one week later with a chatGPT-written non-apolog…

Avoidance is protective. It keeps fear hidden and managed behind other feelings (disgust, repulsion, indifference, etc). To feel fear is to feel vulnerable, I imagine if someone actually felt scared …

Am currently like this all the time. Any affection towards me “bounces” off me and I don’t internalize it, and I feel disgust.

when i'm alone, i feel immense peace. when im with someone who i don't want to be with, it's either visceral disgust, hyper irritation, and the need to leave. when im not with someone and just thinkin…

i feel the same way ! it usually manifests as disgust or indifference, but usually disgust. it's difficult for me to face my emotions head on when i'm avoidant because I'll avoid the thing that's caus…

I did in fact worry I’d be permanently jaded from it. In our case, it wasn’t so much a situation of anxious/avoidant cycles, it was just the abuse cycle. She was extremely controlling, jealous, would …

Great way of describing it btw. Def relate to “long term low grade discomfort, a looming feeling of dread, irritability, and a visceral need to isolate myself.” When my vulnerability does arise or my …

My 7 year relationship was with a pretty high functioning alcoholic. I can’t deal with super drunk men, it’s a visceral disgust I experience now.

With a partner who is very emotionally self aware and through this I’ve very recently discovered I am terribly avoidant. (I knew I was avoidant but not to this extent). The problem is my maladaptive …

I don't know if I'll ever feel attached to someone again. I feel like there’s no one out there for me and I don’t feel emotionally drawn to anyone at all. Most people just irritate me. The thought of …

Yeah, I guess it’s not necessary. Part of what it is is that she has such a strong reaction to some things I really like that I end up just getting bummed out by how angry/annoyed/disgusted she seems.

I met a new person at a social gathering and she made me feel ill. I'm totally projecting a lot on her here but it's been helpful at recognizing my own patterns and what makes me switch off and become…

OMG! Exactly what i thought yday!! I was expressing to a person how they’ve hurt me, and i immediately got told by my friends that i shouldnt have! Why shouldnt i? I especially feel that woman are exp…

"Start with being so emotionally available to yourself that emotionally stunted people disgust u." had to screenshot this sentence. wonderful!!! 👍

It feels like I can't get a full breath, like I'm literally being smothered with a pillow or like a weight is on my chest. I feel like I just need space to be able to breathe again without hyperventil…

Is it wrong to want start to date based mainly on mutual attraction? I seem to be bothering some people here and in a few other groups that I typically look for women who I am attracted to and who are…

I did voice my need several times. Originally she reacted with disgust at the idea of any form of touch, but then pretended she didn't mean it afterwards. Later with ambivalence. Now she says she's wi…

I second this. I have fucked up enamel and the staining treatments are painful. I've just accepted to have one photo with my teeth showing so people can pass if they're disgusted. We all pass on profi…

I went out with a dude from Feeld a few times and realized I was the other woman after the fact. It's disgusting. Good on you for letting them know.

# I, 37F, am struggling with boundaries, jealousy, and my 48M partner’s friendship I’m wrestling with complicated feelings about a medicine retreat my partner of 6 months wants me to attend this summ…

The feeling of disgust and smothering definitely have to do with attachment style. Not sure about the popularity stuff though.

You and the OP describe same/similar pattern to OP…. attraction then repulsion. That IS a big FA marker. I’m a recovering FA as well. The pattern is: desire or crave intimacy, and when we meet it, it …

I’m so sorry for you. That message is so cold and cruel. I’m angry for you reading that message. It reminds me of the discard message I received. I still feel disgusted. The thing is they have no cons…

Is hating looking at your own dating profile a common thing? I've literally put the phone down, face down, in disgust before, while trying to update it. I'm wondering if this is a sign that I'm being…

Right!? I constantly get told "NO WAY!" When people find out my age. My response is always to chuckle and say "these eyebags would not look right on a 20 year old." It doesn't matter how old I look…

I get the ick for people who trigger my fear of being known strongly (by being too friendly). It gradually weakens as I force myself to interact with them. For me the ick is unrelated to deactivation.…

Nowadays I usually know. Before I knew about attachment theory I would get intense panic attacks that would make me instantly end things with any romantic interest. I didn't know what was happening, b…

Learn to recognize your own triggers. The biggest triggers for avoidant behavior in me are feeling infantilized (this has been a common issue as i have had a bad relationship w my parents for a long t…

Gotta love Reddit’s double standards. Feel free to make fun of Asians with the most disgusting stereotypes, but please don’t hurt the feelings of those precious incel passport bros