Anxiously Attached,

They can work IF both people are moving towards secure, doing a lot of hard internal work, and have accountability. Jessica Baum, the author of "Anxiously Attached," is anxious attachment. Her exes ha…

How do you know what’s secure and what’s not in a partner? — So I am anxiously attached, I’ve done a ton of work and I think I present as fairly secure now (?) but when I’m triggered it’s a mess in my brain. My question for the anxiously attached and those who …

The pain of being unmet... — I'm never sure whether to consider myself anxiously attached, or mostly secure, because I generally do fine if I feel really loved in my relationship. But where I fall apart easily is when I don't. I …

I'm not sure about my attachment style but I want to discover it right now 'cause I want to start healing!!!!!! — Sorry for the long text, I want to be thorough. So, I just ended my first ever relationship. I'm 20, I'm a lesbian from a conservative background and had a lot of internalized homophobia and religiou…

It does get better (dumped by an avoidant) (personal advice that helped me) — Too anyone who deems themselves as a hopeless romantic, anxiously attached, etc, this may relate to you. After three months of what I thought was the worst time of my life, it truly gets better. T…

advice? suggestions? — TLDR: should i reach out to my ex after almost 3 years? we met through friends (me, F22 & him, M22), and we dated for about 9 months. while dating, we would both dream about each other often and spen…

be honest, would yall forgive ts/ come back if it was said to you? — recovering FA here, broke up with my secure attachment boyfriend 4 months ago, around new years. let's call him H, and the ex i mention in a later paragraph K. i was H's first partner and we were toge…

That sounds more like someone with antisocial tendencies. I do attachment work with DA's, and they are very fragile little beings. They might be ruthless to others, but only because when someone is an…

People who are securely attached are often more than their attachment style because their behavior isn’t constantly filtered through anxiety or emotional defense mechanisms. They’re not performing saf…

I hear you. And appreciate what you're saying. Thing is, DA's have a bad habit of ignoring an expressed need from a partner or hearing it as "neediness" or clinginess. Expressing a need can be seen …

Ok, I've been in therapy for the past two yrs, and I finally think I'm seeing the light on this "being happy with yourself" shit. If you're already aware that you're anxiously attached, maybe work o…

I think it's normal in anxious attachment style. That doesn't mean it feels comfortable for you - nor for him, to be honest. It sounds like you could both benefit to do work around your attachment sty…

I totally get what you mean, like when we’re anxiously attached, it often feels like our whole sense of self depends on the other person’s attention. Being aware of it is already a huge first step, …

My (27F) bf (27M) broke up with me after 5 months tgt because I might have anxious attachment. How am I feeling: Feels like hell and torture. Shaking. Spiraling. No appetite/havent eaten for a coup…

I understand where you are coming from and I can understand your anxious behaviour coming about because of this. However, in order to help you feel more secure in yourself, trust yourself to let go. …

Yes, we definitely did have further discussion. Maybe our situation is unique, but he revealed that he had actually been feeling the same way, AKA a bit freaked out by our increasing emotional intimac…

Text of original post by u/Musician-Kind: So I am anxiously attached, I’ve done a ton of work and I think I present as fairly secure now (?) but when I’m triggered it’s a mess in my brain. My question…

This might sound quite bad, and I don't want to risk anyone here thinking they are "boring". I've dated people who are more like me, anxiously attached, and that's anything but boring. It starts ver…

I (49F) am a recovering anxiously attached person. I did a lot of work in therapy after my dismissive avoidant ex discarded me in a blindsided breakup. My goal was to heal so that I never, ever get in…

Text of original post by u/Kyuuki_Kitsune: I'm never sure whether to consider myself anxiously attached, or mostly secure, because I generally do fine if I feel really loved in my relationship. But wh…

My (37F) partner (32M) has asked if we can live separately temporarily. He's a doctor, he needs to study for an exam that will shape his career trajectory and our future. I have been getting triggered…

I think you're absolutely right to walk away if this level of communication isn't for you. I will say this doesn't really scream avoidant to me and I don't really see this behaviour as mixed signals. …

This is so true, and it's part of what is making my healing so confusing and difficult. I've spent my life investing so little in my own needs/boundaries that it's really hard to tell what is reason…

This is what I'm dealing with in my relationship. I believe (personally) that love isn't something you exhaust or run out of. I love lots of things and people, and I like to tell the people that I car…

This pattern makes total sense through an attachment lens. When we're anxiously attached, we're often drawn to people who recreate the familiar dynamic of having to work for love and attention. The un…

It’s completely normal that different people and the dynamics you have with them will impact the way your attachment style shows up with them. I’m secure with most people, avoidant with my mom, and le…

Long story short: I'm anxiously attached, he has avoidant tendencies. Which worked with some issues in the first 6,5 years and we build a life together, but then I got in a burnout/dysregulated nervou…

I'm going to assume that you'll give therapy a try. But one thing I've learned from leaving an abusive relationship- something people who have not been in an abusive relationship don't realize? that …