normalize

Hard to say if it is a neurological problem or not, since it's only in your experience and for you is very real. As for astral parasites, you may want to read Carlos Castaneda's books, starting with T…

Dating someone with a fearful-avoidant style has been unexpectedly… gentle? — I wanted to share a relationship experience that’s been genuinely interesting and surprisingly positive, especially for FAs and anyone curious about FA dynamics. If you are not interested in some per…

How to seperate Asian parenting culture vs just straight up abuse? — For a long time, I’ve generalized Filipino/Asian parenting to be just very abusive overall. And I’ve thought that my parents were bad because they were Filipino, and that I know many other Filipinos w…

THINGS TOXIC "SHIFTERS" SAY/DO (they are more normalized than you think) — Soo days back I made a post voicing frustrations about my shifting experience and mentioning a few a of my roadblocks. Two days ago I shifted successfully to the Odyssey and when I came back to my cr…

I (21M) have survived two decades of severe physical, emotional, and financial abuse from my Indian parents. I'm finally exhausted and need to tell my story. I am not free yet. — # TL;DR: I'm a 20-year-old only child in India who has endured severe physical, verbal, emotional, and financial abuse from my parents since toddlerhood. They have beaten me, medically neglected me, …

Your birth is seen as a debt that you must repay — I’ve been trying to figure out why so many narcissist parents treat their children the way that they do. The guilt tripping, the asymmetric hierarchy, the way that they treat others horribly. Not only…

The western treatment of Korea's feminism in hindsight. — A Korean feminist's post that I encountered on twitter made a good analogy. If a group labels itself a disability rights or working class organization, it doesn't tell you about their full political l…

Please join me in listing things that you discovered aren't normal outside your own toxic upbringing — Eta- I decided I didnt like my paragraph so I am redoing it. Eta- paragraph contains examples of child abuse, TW So as the title states, I am seeking things that were completely normal in your upbri…

Boyfriend’s ex — So me (19 F, chinese) and my boyfriend (18 M, mongolian) has been dating for 7 months but i can’t stop thinking about his past relationship (they dated for 2 years) this made me depressed, binge eat, …

I still feel like all the abuse was normal — Three months ago I had a realization that my mother was abusive my entire life. Verbally and physically. Silent treatments. Emotional neglect. Hitting me in public as an adult. About a week after tha…

On incubi and sexual possessions — It’s been five years since I first began sensing invisible entities around me. I underwent psychiatric treatment throughout all that time, and my life eventually stabilized. I finally got a good job a…

I think I’ve been minimizing what I’ve been living in because it wasn’t “bad enough” — I don’t really know how to say this cleanly. I think I’ve been telling myself for years that this is just a “difficult marriage,” and I don’t think that’s true anymore. But if I’m actually honest, m…

Inform there spouse about the affairs — Normalize informing their spouse about the extra marital affairs In a world where infidelity seems to have no limits, it's crucial to be honest with your spouse about any extramarital involvement. …

Disliking your parents as people — I don’t know if anyone else feels the same way, but the older I get, the more I start seeing my parents as individual people instead of just “my parents”. I no longer excuse or normalize toxic behavi…

My AM left me in public places by myself as a kid even though I was scared. — “Stay here, it’ll be okay. Yes? Yes. 🙂‍↕️” that head nod gesture she does that makes you want to punch her in the face. I was in public as a child all by myself. She always does it if I need to go to…

How to Prepare/Take Advantage of Starting Over in a New Location? — Howdy everyone, I (25M) am in the process of preparing to move by the end of this year. For reference, I’ve lived in a relatively small and insulated place in the U.S. for most of my life, where the m…

Thought on boyfriend watching POV porn? — My boyfriend (25M) and I (24F) have a good sex life and a good relationship. I never have to doubt that he loves me and finds me sexy as he is constantly showering me with compliments and physical aff…

At what cost is love with it? — I think relationship and men are honestly overrated and may honestly not be in my radar anymore. I wish society normalized women to live alone - with peace and dignity. I (41F) was broken-up almost …

Read something about the ways CSA starts and it made me come to some upsetting conclusions about my own abuse — Was scrolling through Twitter, not a great idea, but landed on a thread about grooming and the ways society has come to normalize behaviors that harm children. My abuse was not the kind of abuse that…

Why the fuck do people joyfully reminisce about being abused online? — I'll just be watching some random video, not related to child abuse, abuse survivors, and abusive parents, and I'll find one comment, \*multiple\* comments happily recounting "Oh, this cat swatting th…

how do I get closure from being essentially ghosted?should I reach out myself? — hi, I've posted here before about this situation and I'm back because I genuinely need some outside perspective. I'll try to give enough context for this to make sense. I'm 20F, this was my first ev…

I feel like throwing up every time I feel jealous. — in my first relationship, the person I was with was extremely toxic and manipulative. he normalized tons of things, including obsessive love and toxic behaviors related to obsession. In my second re…

Parents staying friends with my known abuser — Just what it says on the tin.  Adoptive parents (69&70years old) are choosing to stay friends w/ my godfather(their close work friend from before my adoption). I am 29 & coming out of the FOG over m…

“Respect your parents” hits different when you were scared of them your whole childhood. — I’m 30 years old. For most of my life, I thought my childhood was normal. I thought the heavy feeling inside me was just how life is. Now I’m starting to understand it wasn’t normal. And it wasn’t m…

I gossip way too much about people I don't like — Generally I can't really sit with the discomfort of a person, perhaps for deeper reasons, and I need to externalise that by confiding in others. For example, the guy at my work is absolutely miserable…

Why is it so normalized for people to gang up on a victim? — I saw a video of a muslim girl made sitting in a car with. song over the audio and the caption was something about her dad. some people in the comments were calling her ungrateful, or that she’ll regr…

(tw: csa) mental and physical growth just stopping due to prolonged abuse/having no one else around but their abusers. — ***tw: prolonged child (sexual, physical, and psychological) abuse.*** it makes me feel lonely and extremely guilty thinking about how fucked up i became as a kid due to sexual abuse i received fro…

It was so normalized that I didn't realize until I was standing in the bedroom section of an IKEA that I wasn't really allowed to touch things growing up — I don't know how to start this. I remember going to IKEA before and being incredibly uncomfortable (angry even) in more customizable areas like the bedrooms, but I was still a teen and so I think I ju…

This is the side no one talks about. Burnout is real, especially when you're all in and there's no safety net. I've seen this up close too. Founders need to normalize rest, delegation, and building fo…

That sounds very triggering! It sounds like you wanted more out of this than it’s turning out to be, and maybe this fellow is trying to make a polite exit. It’s impossible to know why. Maybe he’s avoi…

It is very tough to make a distinction being so far removed from the individuals themselves, but I agree that as a FA, the people who have activated me the most- I also never saw them as “perfect” vs …

I know exactly what you mean and honestly I used to feel that way until I had a few people do it with me - which was a little easier for them because we at least have some communities in which we tang…

Okay, I will look into this person more but Steph Anya is an LMFT. You might want to search again bc dismissiveness pulls right up as an avoidant trait only. Cognitive empathy is very limiting in true…

I need to know who the fuck normalized diagnosing people with a fear of intimacy or commitment just because they don't want to text or see you as often as you want to see them. I get it's softer on ou…

Well most of my LTR's were with women but when I was with a guy it never even occured to me. I think if it breaks you should get plan b, and maybe doctors push pills because they think men will pressu…

He could be an asshole, or he could just be clueless. If you want to try and save the relationship, I would change your communication style to be more imperative. Tell him to hang the artwork with y…

Setting a date after only a few minutes of chatting is diabolical. There's quite a difference between rushing to set a date and dragging the pen pal process. How do you do you even know if you want to…

Right! We’re grown! Like why are people perpetuating this shit? App dating culture is so toxic and it’s scary seeing it normalized and justified. What is this doing to our brains and our relationship…

Yeah, but wanting your partner to dress nicely and wanting your partner to have good hygiene and a clean house isn't exactly apples to apples. One of those feels like a nice-to-have (preference on clo…

When did it become normalized that “maybe” means “no” in dating? I can handle outright rejection, but I’m going to lose my mind if I’m strung along one more time by someone who blindsides me that he’s…

> When did it become normalized that “maybe” means “no” in dating? Like 2008 due to Facebook events.

Narcissists have a mental health issue, enablers allow their victims to remain unprotected, especially as children. That is what can make all of the fucked up shit really dig in and wire itself into …

That was a way to test you, test the waters. He is disingenuous and won’t let go of previously held beliefs. He thinks he just has to stick it out until marriage or kids and then it’s not so easy to l…

I see. I'm just trying to figure out possibilities for how your husband operates. I have a thought of what may be going on. One possibility is that maybe because you always initiate, he feels lik…

Something that helped me a lot is finding friends that are okay with occasional hugging. It's actually something I was very tense about at first but that got more normalized. Usually from other trauma…

that's awful! I'm sickened by the fact that someone who presumably "cared" about you for over 3 years would suddenly invalidate you as a person like that'. And then he started treating you like a "les…

He is NOT a good father and partner. He’s an alcoholic. If a sandwich has a little shit in it it’s still a shit sandwich. Your son is 3 and he sees this. He sees that daddy is passed out all weekend. …

This is a really tough situation to be in. You need to talk to him and dig into the reasons why his drinking isn’t OK and how it affects you and your child. You need to be clear that if his behavior d…

It's the opposite, being attractive makes you more of a target for predators, and you have unfortunately been groomed into accepting abusive behavior as "love" or at least normalized it.

In a traditional marriage, where you were home to care for the kids, and he was the sole breadwinner, you may likely not be in this predicament. Problem is society has normalized this dynamic and it…

Your experiences were normalized for you. It's really hard to realize that the reality you're living in isn't normal. Similarly I've really been realizing this in the past year (at 30yo). I'm getting …

It’s mostly math. There are more men than women on online dating, but the ratio changes a lot with age. Under 30, men vastly outnumber women on the apps. Estimates vary, but it can be something like …

it's so validating to read this thread. i've always been treated like an insolent, ungrateful child when i've tried to express how i felt harmed by my parents' behavior. it's really sad how normalized…

Dude I'm a Filipino living in the Philippines but we still refer to Chinese New Year despite the majority of my country being hostile to China. Stop accepting any reason to normalize de-Sinicization f…

>A lot of society has the same mechanisms as abusers 100% this, it's been my biggest struggle in recovery. So many parts of adult life feel like replaying abuse dynamics and it's all so normalized th…

That's so sweet! I'd love to bring flowers for a woman, but it's hard to tell if she'll appreciate it. People expect you to be so subtle these days. I feel like decades ago, people were much more forw…

If you still want to give tge relationship another try, maybe try properly teach them, as if they were a kid. For real. That's what my boyfriend did for me. Every couple has a different dynamic and I …

Well you all indirectly sort of helped with your God awful advice. No I'm not going to accept it and harness it, no I'm not going to act on it and fucking "roleplay." (I broke up with her already anyw…

Musically, I distinctly remember that it was Psy and Gangnam style that opened the door slightly for an Asian song to do well in the West. It was all a big joke/lowkey banger & shared heavily but it n…

A lot of people underestimate how powerful physical touch is as a human need. Wanting closeness, hugs, and skin-to-skin contact isn’t strange or shallow. It’s a very normal part of how many people reg…

Well, I'm going to participate in this post because exactly one year ago, I received a Hashimoto's diagnosis, and I weighed 80 kilos, couldn't sleep, and was living like an old car on reserve fuel. I…

I think this also illuminates the need for non sexual non romantic touch with platonic loved ones to become more normalized in society.

Think about it this way. Would you want to be with someone who didn't respect you? I think you know the answer to that question. Yes its hard and it hurts because you felt something real and that's ok…

Yupppp, I really hope you find that. It’s such a special feeling having that safe person you can go to and trust, it’s a shame how normalized casual interactions with romance are, people’s feelings an…

Normalize calling out racists publicly and to their faces.

Normalize calling out racists publicly and to their faces

So I'll preface by saying I don't have vast experience in this realm. I'm also a hetero male, so I come from that experience. I do have some thoughts I think are relevant: 1. I think people believe t…

And this shouldn’t be relevant to it but the counsellor was white so I assume what might count as abuse in her eyes, is known to be normalized in a lot of asian cultures. So she might not have been su…

Self centered and sexist. That’s hilarious. You are completely misunderstanding me and that’s probably because you cannot separate the description of bodies from value judgments about those bodies. I…

I don’t have an answer on how to cope necessarily, but just a comment on the topic/random tangent. In India it’s not uncommon for straight men (and also women) who are friends to hold hands publicly (…

OP do not get stuck in your mind and thoughts, you need to think on your kids but not in the way you are thinking. How in your mind think this would work even if you don't accept the divorce, do you …

Felt. Sometimes I make art and never finish it. I give up too easily after being conditioned to not get my hopes up. I feel as if I don't deserve to be recognized after being overly criticized, bullie…

I think when things were humming along we all kinda coped..then Covid gave a lot of people time alone with themselves. Maybe for the first time since they were a young. So, we got in these bubbles, a…

I am with you and I did not have a Christian upbringing. I’ve basically always been “anti-organized religion.” I think it is gross to have sex with several people. Is this why people are constantly …

Normalize calling out racists publicly unapologetically.

No, to be clear, if someone is being racist, then they are being racist, they arent being unfairly picked on because of their racism. Trump saying Mexico is sending criminals to the USA isnt backed u…

Thanks! I've read many stories like mine before I could internalize that I could change, just like they had, and that's what inspired me to write this. But I've also learned that getting these things …

The age here (major city in U.S.) women are starting with fillers and Botox is now mid 20’s. Younger for lip filler, or tweaking their chin and nose shape in lieu of surgery. Not saying it’s a good th…