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That's heavy. I can relate. The narrative you’re telling yourself right now—that you are "unlovable and unfixable"—is a reaction to pain, not a reflection of reality. Here are a few perspectives to…
Building My First B2C SaaS Product – Learning, Struggling, and Still Going — I’ve been working on my B2C SaaS app **Gamify** for a little over a week now. It’s a habit-tracking, gamified to-do list app — a mix of fun and structure I’ve always felt was missing in other tools. …
My co-founder decided to quit: I'm stuck and could really use some advice | I will not promote — Hey All, A few months ago, I shared my story here (original Reddit post in comments) about starting an IT consultancy business in the Netherlands with a friend right after graduation. At that time, w…
Reflections of my healing journey (avoidant) — I’m grateful I decided to work on myself I still consider myself a constant work in progress (I’m neurodivergent,communication and misunderstanding has always been an issue) I used a lot of self h…
I posted a while ago about being Fearful Avoidant and, since so many people reached out about how to overcome that style, I've decided to compile a sort of list of things that are helping me become more secure — (based on what is working in my life, what I've observed, what i've read, etc. They may not apply to everyone but even if it helps a couple of people I'll be happy) **These are things to practice in …
What qualities to look for in a therapist — Previously, I had been working with a somatic therapist for 6 years (on trauma healing, not specifically attachment related) and a few months ago they closed their practice for personal reasons on *ve…
Question for those that stayed after D-day — It's been almost 7 years since D-day for me. The question I have is for those that stayed. Did you fully recover? Are you the same person as you were before? For me I'm not 100% and I don't think I ev…
Revision is where it's at. — People say that revision works faster and this is my experience as well. I'm a fairly good manifestor but there were a few things I was stuck on, namely my height. I carried a bit of disappointment …
My Divorce Journey - Hope it Helps someone — Just want to share some notes on my journey through divorce…I’ve been divorced for about two years after a 15 year marriage (2 kids) and I’m finally on firm ground with myself. Just some key points …
Trying to find the ""reset"" button when life feels like a treadmill — This month has really been more of a rollercoaster feeling for me, sometimes I feel like I’m just reacting to things instead of actually living. You know that feeling where your brain has twenty tabs …
[RESPONDING TO COMMENT] What my Headspace looks like during meditating while using technique: Meditation to the power of 3 — I’m not done animating this yet, but here is the work in progress. This is the inside of my head, exactly what it looks like when I meditate. This is meditation to the power of 3. 2 other consciousn…
The western treatment of Korea's feminism in hindsight. — A Korean feminist's post that I encountered on twitter made a good analogy. If a group labels itself a disability rights or working class organization, it doesn't tell you about their full political l…
Art I’ve made after listening to the tapes and while meditating — I hope my art resonates with you ⭐️ Still a work in progress
Is it fair to take certain thoughts as signs or communication while meditating? — Today my goal was communication with my higher self. I had cleared my mind. my body was no longer feeling sensations around me. Somewhere in the struggle of not losing consciousness, but staying relax…
Yet another year trying to be disciplined — So I've had a lifelong habit of not being able to follow deadlines, to be able to be on time or just finish things in general. It's been ruining my life. When I'm really stressed, I can do anything at…
I feel like a lot of healing is "passive", as in progress happens even when we aren't actively trying. — Obviously healing is hard, grueling work. But I think I've noticed that a lot of healing, at least for me, is pretty passive - not always coming from journaling or trying hard at any specific thing, b…
My (M24) Partner (M30) Needs me to Initiate Everything (I mean everything) help! — TLDR Summary: I realized I have slowly turned into the partner who must initiate everything for their partner and relationship. nothing gets done, we wouldn’t eat, sleep, get out of bed if i didn’t do…
Essay About Dismantling Self-Hate As a Step Towards Self-Love — Hello all. First time posting here: wrote this on a whim for fun and felt like sharing on a whim. I have no expectations but thought it could be cool to see whether people liked it or not. I’ve been…
The clinical death zone — Purpose of the post is just to log the experience, as the research is ongoing and I’d like to have a record of it. This happened yesterday, 4/09/2026. I need to keep this part brief, but I have been …
I didn't fail to set boundaries, I wasn't even aware there should have been boundaries in the first place. — One major issue I have worked on during my healing process in therapy has been "boundaries". I realised, growing up with abusive parents had effectively made me a "sheer" person. I kept on talking …
Theory on the phenomenon and 3D reality — It's very early in the morning and I haven't had much sleep yet, so this might be a bit short and to the point without deep explanation (yet). I just want to get it down in writing while it's clear in…
Realistically, 2 months isn't nearly enough time for someone to reflect AND implement what's needed to heal wounds, triggers or habits. So, likely... you'd be going back into the same situation. I hav…
Funnily enough, I had healed myself up pretty well toward secure….then I got in this relationship. lol These past few weeks have *really* triggered my AP. It definitely opened my eyes to my (clearly…
No you're right, that exactly was the situation where he was on standby. But I really couldn't even speak because of how much pain I was in. I think some people assumed I told him oh I'm not sure if I…
Thank you! I can answer some of these! 1 & 2. Why she is my attachment source. Several years ago I moved (back) up to HQ when our satellite location closed. At that spot, people of every background …
Hi, with all due respect - I'm formerly disorganised, and with some secure-leaning (work in progress). This being said, I have been in therapy with regularity for 11 years (I had seen therapists and …
I appreciate the insight! Definitely a lot of negative feelings about my personality kept getting in the way (am I too boring, am I too awkward, etc.). Honestly surprised myself how much insecurity I …
Been studying Stoicism for a while and wanted a way to "consult" Marcus Aurelius when working through difficult situations. So I trained a chatbot exclusively on Meditations (Hays translation) plus so…
I say this with total love because I was in the same boat. I didn't know what love was, what was real, when I should trust and when I should trust my gut. So I put a total self-imposed ban on dating a…
I have too. I was abused manipulated and cheated on by the two partners I had before my now partner. Been single six years before November bc that hurt crippled me mentally Survived the death of a p…
I hear you and can relate to much of what you articulated. For me, Internal Family Systems therapeutic framework has been life changing. It provides a model where I get to work on practicing secure…
Hey all, Male, 34, just need to vent about dating and life in general. Overall, things in my life are pretty good. I have a great family and friends, and my social life is pretty active. I started to…
It's okay to be a work in progress and it's not shameful to live at home because you're clearly correcting some of your previous mistakes, which shows you are responsible and trying your best. I mean …
Thanks It’s definitely been a work in progress and finding the right therapist and modality really started helping. My therapist thinks I may be on the spectrum and I kind of see it. Especially with …
This sub is Stoicism, a philosophy of life which tells us to mind what is ours and not to mind what is not ours. We are not in control of what others do, and worrying about what others might do is a …
I would also add when I was oblivious, to my traumas, I was constantly filled with rage and anxiety, vacillating between that and numbness. I think my emotional range has definitely improved since I r…
Thank you for taking the time to write all of that. I really appreciate the thought and experience behind what you said. I think you made a really good point about safe people being the ones who help…
i used to struggle with this a lot becuase my brain just wouldnt stop looping stuff. one thing that helped me was realizing a thought can just be a thing that shows up, not something that says who you…
I really struggled at this phase in my healing. I felt I was seeing everything for what it was finally, but my nervous system would over-activate. I would also freeze. My biggest progress in this stag…
Only way to get yourself back is to leave. I left him a year and a half ago and I’m still not right and I’ve been going to therapy the entire time. It takes a while and it is a work in progress for su…
He left last fall, ghosted, emailed me telling me and that he wanted me to move out but my name apparently was never on the paperwork. So I've stayed...had no other option. Divorce still in progress.…
These seem more like yellow flags. Can you explore more of them with him 1-1? We're all works in progress. If he's actively working on the matters, I would pause. If he's defensive or stonewalls you…
Yeah, I relate to this a lot. I work in customer support / IT help desk, and when people ask me for things I immediately feel this pressure like *“whoa, I have to handle all of this and look happy to …
We all share so many things as human beings - whatever you or I write about, many people will understand. Those people may not have had the words to express what they've experienced or felt until they…
I feel like the reason he gave me the responsibility of managing the finances was to show me how we are doing financially, as well as him not having time to do it himself. It’s a work in progress but …
Talking from my experience and looking back, I think as a kid I learned that being the good son, not upsetting mum and keeping the peace was important. Over time my brain wired around that role. I bec…
Thanks! I've been trying to combine stoicism with Franklin's 13 virtues, it's still a work in progress. I have multiple "checklists" to help with tons of daily hurdles to improve on. I'd eventually li…
As a wife/caregiver of my partner I understand both sides to this story. The fact that he hasn't brought it up does sound painful, I'm sorry you had to find out online how much he struggled emotionall…
This is still a work in progress for me because there is a lot of past trauma with money. I would usually aim for ie a monthly take home of 10k, then once that’s achievable if I go straight for 20k it…
I would say that things are still in progress. Neville responded to someone once with "don't accept it", I took that to mean keep believing that it is done.
okay, jesus, here we go. a few years ago, i fell heads over heels for this guy, we talked marriage, looked at houses, rings, we drafted up wedding invites for fun, we intended to build a life toget…
Sometimes we do indeed retreat from the world. The fact is you have succeeded you have survived. You got the social skills to get a roof over your head. You are focused on having a structure Str…
It’s been over a year since we divorced and it’s still in progress but every day does get easier. I’m enjoying my freedom. I’m enjoying my mental state be much better, and not being in a constant stat…
You're healing still, I would try not to look at your home as the truck but rather a work in progress. There is no rush to be "perfect" or normal as you put it. You're doing the best you can and like …
i’m really sorry you’re going through this. what your mum did isn’t okay at all, and you didn’t deserve that. not everyone who becomes a parent learns how to love the way a child needs. i’m 21 as wel…
powerful post! I really like how you said that negative states and reactions don’t have to mess it up. It’s really been a work in progress to keep practicing trust and surrender and just living life w…
I’ll probably be the one remarrying within a year or so of my divorce being finalized. While my divorce is still in progress, my marriage was over years ago. I know what I want in a partner, and now t…
Observing is a step on the process of learning. Your thoughts aren't completely random and chaotic, there's common structures, patterns, and reactions that you act out. However, you don't innately kno…
Thanks for sharing. I started meditating a little over a year ago. Still a work in progress, but have noticed overall better well-being.
I can never imagine saying "just because no one likes you" to someone I'm in love with and hope to spend the rest of my life with. That's something I say to someone I want to hurt and offend and score…
I’m also in my 30s and had (what sounds like) a very similar upbringing to you. I’m a teacher and very nurturing in my practice (which has also made me feel resentful over my lack of nurture as a chil…
Oooh fun topic! I had a big glow up after my divorce. I lost 20 lbs and weight train at least four times a week. Then I got myself a new wardrobe for my new hot bod. 😁 I used to be afraid to be sexy …
It DOES get better but it’s a hard and painful and very long journey. But I promise it does. 13 months NC for me and it’s still work in progress but I cannot tell you the difference between me one yea…
Sounds pretty normal to me, it usually takes several to find a good fit. Some are lucky and find a great match on their first attempt. Others are unlucky and get into the double digits before finding …
My husband cheated on me with a long term affair partner while I was pregnant and after. I found out 3 months pp. It was truly the most horrifying thing and I suffered. Couldn’t sleep was taking care …
I went to therapy for 30 years beforeh I found one with the trauma training I needed. No other therapist had even for ed me to confront the fact that what I endured from my mother was abuse. After my …
According to OP, these are in progress, not something he intends to do. “I am raising chickens and growing vegetables”
[My work in progress animation; representing my headspace and technique](https://www.reddit.com/r/gatewaytapes/s/qV4efySioV)
We're constantly shifting between infinite parallel realities and versions of ourselves, consistent with our current vibration, beliefs, and desires. Decide who you want to be. How does that person wa…
Thank you! It’s a work in progress… but I’m determined to beat it and keep it that way!
> _ But I'm also not about to raise another grown man just to "have someone" _ Sorry OP, this statement really grinds my gears… We’re all works in progress, and not all experiences line up. I expect…