perceive

The "true basics" *for me* is just some of the things people are already doing but boiled down to only the things that makes it work. Also somewhat off topic but "energy-work" is a REALLY bad name for…

Freelancers – the only person that can evaluate your pricing is the buyer (not Reddit) — *(TL;DR at bottom)* Questions like this pop up on this subreddit every few weeks: > How much should I charge for a basic website? Or: > Is $500 for a single-page Figma design a good price? ...and…

Besides Java and SQL, what other computer languages are essential and almost ubiquitous in the world of web development? — I've noticed that Java and SQL are almost ubiquitous languages throughout the web development industry. What other computer and programming languages do you perceive as ubiquitous or essential in the …

A little look into how fearful avoidants operate (aka, how one of my relationships ended - twice - because I was unaware of my patterns) — When I was 21 and *severely* fearful avoidant I dated a secure guy who was wonderful in every way, but obviously not for me. I did everything stereotypical of a fearful avoidant attachment does in a…

Losing (F23, AA) my mind in my relationship with my (F22, DA) sister. — We’ve had some real struggles, and I’m at a loss for what to do. I feel generally pretty secure outside of this one relationship, but recently it’s been making my AA flair up in my romantic partnersh…

Working on becoming secure has made me more susceptible to toxic relationships — I think. Here's the thing, I'm fearful avoidant, and before I was aware of attachment styles at all the moment a person I was interested in made me feel at all rejected in the slightest (took too lo…

Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…

Why do I get upset when bad stuff happens to my partner and it doesn't even impact me? — I'm struggling to understand my pretty intense reactions to certain things. I don't know if attachment theory can help explain this part of my brain. For context: Me (38 F) and partner (44 M) have b…

Global Policy Journal: “Don’t look up?“ – Why it is past time for serious holistic research into Unidentified Anomalous Phenomena — Karin Austin, Michael Bohlander and Kimberly S. Engels have contributed an excellent article to the Global Policy Journal. Two of these people I've met personally and they are experiencers who are doi…

Do non-avoidants really experience attraction as something they have some level of control over? — So this was something that first popped into my head yesterday and I’ve been thinking about since. I’ve always been baffled whenever people talk about getting somebody to be attracted to them, ask the…

Another real life example of how clear communication can be distorted into a victim narrative. Emotions can rewrite history, too. There are two sides to every story. — Receipts! Slides 1-2: Their version of events Slide 3: only a snippet of all their comments on vent/rant threads and others. Removed by automod for not having a user flair (a clear rule and automod …

Dressing To Impress For Dates (And Everyday Life) — My post is getting a lot of attention and since the daily discussion thread is going to be locked soon, I want to continue the discussion here. What I originally wrote: >This might sound bad, but is …

A lot more people are hurt/traumatized than evil — A lot more people are traumatized/ in pain than are evil. And I won’t say that evil people simply don’t exist, they do, but there’s fewer truly evil people than there are hurt/traumatized people who d…

DA healing update: searching my true self, my inner child finally seen — Some of you may know me at this point. I'm (40M) dismissive avoidant, my wife fearful avoidant (41F), together 17 years, married 13 years, 3 children. I've been working on my attachment style for 5 mo…

Experiences With Cosmic Entities. — Hello everyone! This post will be a little bit different, as i wish to dive into odd encounters that i had with different beings, that surprisingly helped me out a *lot* - more than i could have possi…

If You Get to the Center Time Stops; Sun as the Center — During yesterday morning's tarot card reading, I received the message, "if you get to the center of the wheel, time stops." My interpretation was that getting to the center means *perceiving* time as …

Want to hurt a covert narcissist? Tell people the truth (but be smart about it) — **DISCLAIMER:** Only do this if you are physically, financially, emotionally, and psychologically separated and safe from a narcissist. The following will probably not be applicable if you have to mai…

Community — What's your honest opinion of the lucid dreaming community right now? For those of us that have been around since the Dreamviews and ~2006-2012 forums era, things have changed quite dramatically sinc…

Met up with ex after no contact for over 10 months.It went pleasantly. — For anybody wondering whether they should reach out, it went well for me. I was also uncertain how it would go. The relationship ended very badly, we did therapy and it didnt help. I thought id never…

Ingo Swann, did anyone experience something similar to what he did? — I want to be careful here because I’m not trying to promote pseudoscience. At the same time, I’ve had some dreams in my life that have turned into reality exactly as I saw in the dream, so I’m open-mi…

Spiritual Awakening & Instant Manifestation (wtf???) — So as the title says, wtf? I've been using multiple different ways of manifesting, manifesting with feeling, robotic affirming, and I've realized one thing. Manifesting is an act of creation that …

OKAY LISTEN Y'ALL. — I don't know which tag this would come under but I just have to say this because the amount of 'im gonna give up' , 'its not working' ' what am I doing wrong' posts am seeing is insaneee. First of all…

After almost 3 months practicing Gatewaytapes, this is the first time i feel my consciousness started lifting off, it's not OBE yet but it's definitely something lifted off there, i have to share this with you — I started the very first tape Orientation since Jan 26 until now i reached wave 3 tape 1 , everyday i practice one or two time but at least one a day, going through each tape i practiced at least tw…

My therapist seems to forget? — So, I’ve been seeing my therapist for a few months now. I see him weekly, and yesterday I was discussing my struggles with being perceived without being “perfect”. I told him due to being bullied as a…

After almost 3 months practicing Gatewaytapes, this is the first time i feel my consciousness started lifting off, it's not OBE yet but it's definitely something lifted off there, i have to share this with you — I started the very first tape Orientation since Jan 26 until now i reached wave 3 tape 1 , everyday i practice one or two time but at least one a day, going through each tape i practiced at least two …

What affirmation do you use — I generally just repeat J a more than my physical body over and over because I haven’t been able to remember a longer affirmation. Wondering if I should try. Does anyone else use an affirmation. Here…

NHI that Stop Time and Timelessness of the Oversoul; More Research that Supports how Aliens Obscure Human Memories. — Hi everyone. This is [me](https://www.reddit.com/r/Experiencers/comments/1ai4nzi/i_had_26_physical_contact_events_with_grey_aliens/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_c…

Advice on how to deal with parent giving ultimatum over my relationship — I'm a 28 year old gay Asian male currently living in an East Asian country for my job, away from my home country and my parents. All my life, I had a great and loving relationship with my parents. I w…

Idealization vs Devaluation: how it looked like for me — Tldr: Just read the Idealization and devaluation parts.  ## Idealization * You're a king! * You sexy tiger, handsome god of a man * You're the best!  * Gives gifts early on in the relationship * On…

Something from The Four Agreements finally clicked for me today — I was reading the second agreement from The Four Agreements this morning, “don’t take anything personally” and something landed in a way it never has before. I realized how many stories I tell myself…

Are They Cloaked… or Are We Just Unable to Perceive Them? — They may not actually be “cloaked” at all. It’s possible we simply can’t perceive them. One idea that comes up in discussions about encounters is that some beings may operate at a much higher vibr…

THINGS TOXIC "SHIFTERS" SAY/DO (they are more normalized than you think) — Soo days back I made a post voicing frustrations about my shifting experience and mentioning a few a of my roadblocks. Two days ago I shifted successfully to the Odyssey and when I came back to my cr…

If your avoidant ex discarded you: go no contact immediately. — writing this as someone who only figured out I'm avoidant/what avoidance truly is post-breakup: the kindest thing you can do for yourself as the ex of an avoidant is respect yourself enough to have t…

Managing Guilt and Shame — Hi everybody! I'm tackling the superiority complex part of my codependency today and I realized some of the root of the problem. I've got some pretty bad negative self talk and it really comes out whe…

My best friend (F35) with BPD has dropped off the radar and I (F30) don’t know if inviting her to my wedding will be too much pressure or not involving her will hurt more. What should I do? — My best friend and I met 8 years ago at work. Our friendship was very full on as we worked together and lived in the same city but even when we both left the city we met in, we stayed in close touch. …

Carl Jung wasn't a psychologist. He was a shaman. — Carl Jung quietly wrote one of the most profound esoteric texts of all time, at least in my own personal opinion. Seven Sermons to the Dead was written in 1916, privately shared between a handful of J…

I asked my T what she thinks about me, I wish I didn‘t — Today I told my therapist that I‘m not sure how other people perceive me and that I would be interested in her honest impression. She said that this is purely her subjective experience but that I som…

The Double Body Technique : A Great astral projection method. — # The Double Body Technique: What is The Double Body? **The double body** is a visualized form resembling yourself, created through imagination. This construct can be inhabited and used for astral pr…

The 'technique' that helped me manifest in 1 week what I have been trying for months — I decided to make this a more general post since it's extremely helpful for any manifestation. Like everyone, I was trying to manifest something for a few months with common techniques like visualizi…

Geography really matters - my experience in Berlin and Prague — I’m 27M and have been traveling around Berlin and Prague with some friends, and I honestly didn’t expect this but… the girls here are incredibly beautiful. Seriously. Especially in Prague. Even the As…

TikTok Video Calls Racial Dating Preferences Racist, Draws X Backlash — Link: https://x.com/i/status/2035395580797534514 The backlash may be aimed at South Asian men right now, but let’s be real—this is how a lot of people see Asian men in general. A video posted on Tik…

I astral projected to someone's house and they saw me and wet terrified — I have recently unintentionally been astral projecting and most of the time I just be in my room and fly about my area however this time I was flying and ended up in someone's house they were watching…

My Orb experience as a kid and what it did to me — Hello everyone, ive been lurking here for a while and i thought id finally share my first and only ever orb experience. i remember this day very vividly and i have pretty much 0 recollection of any m…

Why don’t I relate to being a Capricorn when I have so many placements? — From what I read about capricorns they’re perceived as being traditionalists, hard-working, money-minded, serious, masters of self-control, professionals and leaders, valuing the material world etc. …

Do you think narcissists experience "variable empathy" or do they simply pretend to experience empathy? — I was recently watching a Dr. Ramani video in which she talks about the confusion survivors of narcissist abuse feel when they think about their experience with the narcissists. For many survivors, at…

Why are koreans so class/status conscious? — \*\* here, 'koreans' mean korean-koreans or first gen korean immigrants, not korean americans who tend to be more chill in my experience. I'm a first gen immigrant. I'm posting it here in a hope to ge…

Shifting the seat of consciousness from head to chest, have you tried it? — Hi everyone, I've been practicing meditation for a few years and I recently stumbled upon something interesting after trying astral projection. By default, the place where I usually perceive “mys…

i broke up with my partner of 3.5 years - advice? — burner acc as i just need to get this out and it’s kinda long, but would appreciate queer perspectives as it’s kinda relevant. but on friday, i broke up with my partner of 3.5 years (basically out of…

UFO intelligence demonstrated its virtuoso psi ability by creating visual “illusions” that witnesses interpreted as anomalous shooting stars. — UFO intelligence demonstrated its virtuoso psi ability by creating visual “illusions” that witnesses interpreted as anomalous shooting stars. This capability to create such visual displays was demonst…

They started to be so healthy it was almost unhealthy? — In no way am I trying to put trying to better your health in a bad light. But in my story, healthcare in general played a weird part. She was always more focused on her health than me, but in the las…

It feels clear that everything I’ve worked toward and desire in life is unattainable — Background: 28M, orphan due to losing both my parents to Cancer in high school. I’ve been single since high school, and I’ve have had a decent bit of professional success. Since I was a kid only thi…

Just found this sub, I know I'm a little late commenting. One thing that I think can be added in relation to how emotional neglect can cause PTSD: People think of PTSD as something that is a threat …

Glad it helped you in some way. I’ve felt like a whiny little wimp for getting PTSD from something that I saw as not a true threat to life. Babies and children absolutely register lack of affection…

This was so helpful to me. I’d be interested to learn more about the potential effects of a parent who was always physically present, but whose emotional availability varied to extremes for the first …

I'm curious reading through your last link. It says that the 5th dimension is likely a micro dimension that we cannot perceive or interact with, and even then its existence is not even proven. So how …

1. Mental thoughts don’t become physical reality. Beliefs do. Repetitive mental thoughts turn into beliefs. 2. People in your world reflect your beliefs. Perhaps upon meeting someone you had an origi…

I’ll take a crack at it Point 1: The answer is sm vs cm thought. Daydreaming is not focused with intent, the mind often wonders and you still feel it’s not true in the end or with emotions that are …

They can be self critical, but that's actually the opposite of being accountable and aware because typically it's just another way to ruminate. I also think that tendency in general is what drives the…

Example 1 is something I'm experiencing from someone else so thanks for describing it so well. I agree example 2 is more common from my experience in dating. It's why I can't tell if I'm reacting to …

As a female FA, I have felt when dating that many men expected me to lead the emotional parts of the relationship which is difficult for FAs. I worked through the shame I felt about that in therapy. T…

I don't think that deactivation should be perceived as hate but instead potentially resentment? So as long as you weren't manipulative or they have no real reason to feel HATE.

I feel this! The stakes are higher when I truly love/like someone (idk about you OP but for me this even extends to platonic friendships/ coworker relationships) and so my fear of messing up and pushi…

DAs are already very self-critical. Most criticism we receive from others, we’re already aware of and have gone to great lengths to conceal and/or correct said issue. Even if said criticism is somethi…

$300k, $600k, or 10m doesn't really matter. Each successful person finds some sort of opportunity and pursues it. Then they create a system that helps them pursue it because you can't do it by yours…

The biggest problem I've found is that people who are, or perceive themselves to be, junior to you will often not speak up. I've had issues with this when I've asked somebody to do something that I …

By not chasing and instead matching their pace. Absolutely reply when they text you, and match the energy if you can. Ideally you’d want to be perceived as safe, so when they text you should be detach…

Attachment issues only appear because of a relational issue at some point in life. It's not innate, you're not born with it (even if people can have certain tendencies) and it only exists in the act o…

Yea I get that, my point was that "self identifying as" only gets you so far. There's how we view and perceive ourselves, vs. how the outside world views and perceives us - and then there are objectiv…

No I don’t and while I think you have some fair and good points, for some reason you’re very emotionally attached and aggravated by this.This is just a personal rant on some perceived grievance you ha…

Everyone on these boards has healing to do, so that's not some "gotcha", my friend. >for some reason you’re very emotionally attached and aggravated by this.This is just a personal rant on some perce…

There is more stigma attached to being anxious than an avoidant from my observations. Anxious is perceived as needy and clingy whereas avoidant is perceived as independent and cold. Neither necessaril…

It probably does mean some kind of feeling pressure to prioritize you, when she needs to take care of herself too. I think sometimes this is how FAs show up, they were more enmeshed and relied on in c…

> But she’s a grown adult. It was way too controlling for you to try to tell her that she wasn’t allowed to come into work because she’s sick. It’s fine to offer it as an option, but to “call her out”…

I hear you. And appreciate what you're saying. Thing is, DA's have a bad habit of ignoring an expressed need from a partner or hearing it as "neediness" or clinginess. Expressing a need can be seen …

I agree with you, I think I might be fawning a little, but when these feelings are happening while I'm with him I don't have the time or space to take care of them like that. And him being FA as well …

Yep the world would be a better place with far less conflicts and misunderstandings if everyone could have a common understanding of what words mean! My "be with somebody" and their "be with somebody"…

I actually feel that I'm only slightly anxious leaning and relatively secure but I got triggered more when he was avoidant and I think a secure person would have a very hard time staying secure. I thi…

I know this sounds lame, but you don’t really navigate it. You just do your best to be your awesome self and see where the cards land. Of course you can be empathetic and kind around people and their …

In defense she’s saying that she’s afraid she can’t live up to what she perceives to be my expectations.

I'm sorry for the stress you feel and everything about it. It sounds like your life now revolves around him: \- You continue to have regret and remorse about the past. \- You are actively checking…

Seconding what someone else said below. This sounds like pretty typical FA. Not a fear of intimacy; a fear of abandonment. I dated someone just like this. Any perceived distance made her devalue me an…

I honestly think you're a more secure person that gets triggered by an avoidant unable to bring you the desires and love you need. There's nothing wrong with wanting to feel a strong intimate connec…

Well, it is a book that essentially expands on attachment and shifts the focus to behavior patterns instead of 'styles.' It acknowledges that people use attachment behavior strategies towards attached…

I'm going to take a crack at this using critical thinking alone. *" The very concepts of "beginning," "created," and "suddenly exist" are all products of our three-dimensional perception, where we ex…

I'm going through almost the exact same thing currently. Like you, it is only really in this specific friendship i experience this kind of anxiety - probably because of how vulnerable i have been with…

Hm, well, attachment is dynamic. If she never showed any aloofness/indifference when in the relationship then it is simply anxious behavior strategies. In some relationships I'd be fully flipping bet…

As I said, whether you're 'avoidant' or 'anxious' because there is either a lack of emotional processing, or complete omitting of emotional processing. People that are 'avoidant' perceive time as fin…

I'm anxiously attached to a friend of mine who broke up with her longtime partner 4 months ago. I made the mistake of telling her 2 months ago that I have feelings for her. I'm not sure now if I reall…

So relatable! It’s super important here to work on regulating your nervous system. The reason logic fails in these moments is because your body is convinced of a threat, and your logical brain quite l…

Have you considered, instructing him ?, by the sound of it he was "on standby" and available to you the entire time, so if you needed something you could have asked, it seems to me that most of what y…

That sounds really sad. I'm so sorry that happened to you. They probably couldn't handle (their perceived) pressure of living up to how highly you regard them.

Something I experience with intuition vs anxiety is that intuition in my experience comes to me when I am calm or doing something that soothes my mind, and this creates room for my intuition to “come …

For me it was essentially a ptsd flashback and they “were” the person hurting me if this was taking place. Like I was trying to control the damage that I believed (rationally or not) was coming. So a …

I feel very seen because your reply reflects my situation almost exactly. What you experience with your partner, I experience with my best friend. With my regular friends I’m “casual friends.” I l…

I actually did that in our most recent argument which triggered his abandonment wounds hard-core and he completely ripped into me with about 11 paragraphs of why I was a terrible person and why he exp…

The goal to understanding the source is to be able to evaluate the limited beliefs that exist underneath that then drive your decisions/feelings/thoughts. Once you can identify those limited beliefs y…

As someone who is currently quitting smoking and has had partners worry/stress about it in the past, the biggest place that I see this go wrong is that partners focus on the *act* of smoking and mista…

They do come back from this but it's so so so hard 💔 I went through an avoidant discard. There was no writing on the wall, 2 very happy years. He used to say he sees us being together forever becau…

I am earned secure. When I found attachment-styles, I was already on the healing journey, so I cannot say with accuracy what my untreated and unconscious attachment style was; probably FA leaning DA. …

I err on the side that believing it is what makes it impossible. My mother was DA and now “earned secure” - she was only 17 shy of 18 when I was delivered into the world. She got diagnosed with DID w…

I know it sounds really cliche, but you’re never “supposed” to do anything, even though it sometimes feels like you are due to perceived societal pressure. That said, I understand and really relate …