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i see this in a lot of my clients and actually have a prewritten paragraph about it that im going to share here. one thing i can catch here is you hold an assumption that beinh anxious is delaying you…
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Upwind's Cloud Security CNAPP. Is it viable? — Can anyone share their real-world experience implementing Upwind's "Runtime-Powered" Cloud Security Platform? The promise of using real-time runtime data (I think they use eBPF sensors?) to focus onl…
What every DevOps needs to know about DevSecOps — The FREE open-source dynamic DevOps roadmap content is extending more and more. One recent contribution was adding more content to the "growth" section of DevSecOps. ![breaking down security silo](ht…
What I'm realizing: I relate closest to others with deep trauma and that is a troublesome recipe. — TW: addiction, suicide, physical and emotional abuse, CSA. I have CPTSD, routine struggles with depression and anxiety and the corresponding executive dysfunction. I grew up with an alcoholic parent…
Can I get some assurance from reformed people pleasers 🥲? — And some advice? Not necessarily on "what to do" because I know how to set boundaries in theory. It's managing the guilt and fear of fallout that I struggle with and I do because all my life any time …
I Genially Think My (35F) Husband (36M) is a Psychopath — Hi everyone, please I need help. I’m 35F and my husband is 36M. We’ve been married for 10 years and have two boys (7 and 5). I honestly don’t know what to think anymore. About three months ago my hus…
Healing is noticing abuse in REAL time. — One of the signs of healing is, noticing abuse IN REAL TIME. When I mean abuse I mean the manipulations, passive aggressiveness, taking jabs at us, gaslighting and anything that is harmful or disrespe…
parents found out about bf — i’m indian 22f and my parents found about my bf (same age) who is from a different race and culture (we live in the US). my mom seemed to be open to it but my dad lost his shit. told me to stop it imm…
HUGE tantrum from my NDad due to my recent success. Hilarious but also depressing. 🥹 — My ndad is currently throwing a tantrum - screaming, stomping around, making threats etc whilst telling my mum and I that it’s my fault, and that I know what I did, therefore avoiding/refusing to expa…
First Regulate Your Nervous System — Recently I watched a YouTube video by a guy named Reeves Tsang called how to reset your nervous system (and how to finally override your reality) This is one of the first manifestation videos I've se…
Apologies for posting again. Apparently I am the abuser and narcissist - I am beyond devastated. No more sharing stuff online for me. *TW - unaliving mention* — I apologise for posting again but this may well be the last social media post I ever make. I am totally devastated and feel close to unaliving. I know that sound dramatic and I am deeply ashamed but t…
the narcissist catchphrase bingo list — edit 1: jesus christ my initial 32 I wrote already look like they arent a lot lmao (the comments in total added 45 UNIQUE PHRASES HOLY JESUS) , okay heres the updated list (most of the updates will be…
SF to name street after Chinese-American woman who saved thousands from human trafficking — I was happy to read this news about a street in San Francisco being renamed after a brave Chinese-American woman named Tien Fuh Wu who saved thousands of women and girls from human trafficking. With r…
How to handle this stoically? — Hi everyone. I've been reading books about Stoicism for a couple of years now, plus, more importantly, I've read Marcus, Epictetus, and a decent chunk of Seneca. I feel like I've taken in a fair bit a…
[Partner] Wife’s suppressed severe trauma surfaced. She’s in extreme ‘flight’ mode, refusing therapy, and I am burning out. Need honest outlooks. — \*\*Added some new context at the end Hi everyone. I’m hoping to find some perspective, hard truths, or shared experiences from those who have navigated severe PTSD/CPTSD dynamics. I am completely e…
My girlfriend (24F) and I (26M) just mutually broke up after an on/off cycle. Did we make the right call or did I handle this badly? — My girlfriend (24F) and I (26M) just mutually broke up after an on/off cycle. Did we make the right call or did I handle this badly? This is very fresh. We just ended things and I need honest outside…
Writing a book for male survivors of emotional manipulation and controlling abuse/coercive control. — Wasn’t intending to post anything yet as this is still very much in draft; but I said I would, so here it is. I am writing a book for male survivors of domestic and family violence; not physical abus…
The impact of Mother / Daughter SA - People don’t talk about it — People don’t talk about MDSA (mother daughter sexual abuse) much. They do more than they used to though. There’s also Janette McCurdys Memoir *I’m Glad my Mom Died*, which discusses this type of abuse…
My(32M) Ex wife(32F) might be stalking my wife(27F). Is it enough to be concerned? — A little bit of history between us. I was married to my ex wife let’s call her Jenn for 3 years and together for 5 (high school sweethearts). We both went to college at separate schools, but made our …
The Tragedy of the Chinese Music Industry (and Society) — If anyone's been following the recent controversy in China concerning singers Li Ronghao and Shan Yichun, you've probably seen the actually vile environment that is the Chinese internet (and Chinese s…
Seeking advice for divorce involving physical abuse — I am planning to divorce my husband in the United States. I am a US permanent resident, and he is a US citizen. We were married for three years and lived in my home country during that time. We have n…
My ex (40M) is dating my closest friend (38F) and I (39F) don’t know how to handle it — I ‘39F’ have been in a high-conflict separation for almost 4 years from my STBX ‘40M’. The 16 year marriage involved emotional, physical, and sexual abuse, along with substance issues. Post-separation…
Turbulent year. Opinions on the worst year of my life? — I got into a relationship at 16. Within the first two years of our relationship I discovered he was cheating by having sexual chats and sending explicit pictures online to other women. I forgave him a…
Has anyone actually fixed your lower back pain by targeting your psoas? — I've had lower back pain since my late teens. No known cause, but I've suspected it is tight psoas. Has anyone else struggled with this, and what specifically helped? Info: Tight psoas muscles ofte…
Mom called me while attempting in front a a train — It was the time after a death in my family. It affected my mother very much. This had led to her neglecting us and more often than not having huge fights with father. One day she left from home and we…
This disorder is shit but the worst thing is that it was caused by the most repulsive POS to breathe.. not letting me add more than one flair so this is a vent/rant — I'm diagnosed and everything but hesitant to try any medication/proper therapy. I'm scared constantly and it's been manifesting as hallucinations and constant paranoia. I'm starting to think i need to…
Jewelz, you can't push my love for you away...you need it as much as me! — I need you safe, free to be yourself without threats of being your vulnerable self exploited ... people tell me now to let go, maybe if you were anybody else ..Juls baby....you are part of me ...pleas…
Excluded from saying goodbye to my dying husband of 21 years by his new 'saintly' wife. Is this sociopathy? — I was married to my husband for 21 years; he was in my life for 26. In 2015, a woman he worked with orchestrated an affair. During my struggle with infertility, she maliciously claimed she was pregnan…
Spouse needs help but believes they are extremely emotionally intelligent — I (39) have been in and out of therapy nearly my entire life. I was a victim of child abuse at a very young age by my alcoholic father and dealt with severe alcoholism and drug addiction myself in my …
Spouse needs help but believes they are extremely emotionally intelligent — I (39) have been in and out of therapy nearly my entire life. I was a victim of child abuse at a very young age by my alcoholic father and dealt with severe alcoholism and drug addiction myself in my …
Thinking about just leaving for a while.. — New here.. I got out of a 10 year long relationship with a physically abusive boyfriend in 2016. I started my healing-journey and felt joy again. Got both my PTSD diagnosis as well as ADHD. Was sing…
This is no way to live for me... She insane and she makes no sense at all. — As I said in comments here, my mother can't be trusted with anything. She always says, "We'll find a way! I promise!" What lies... Like, "If that's what you really want, we'll find a way to make it w…
I’ve just released the evidence to the press that NSW Police fabricated a medical diagnosis to criminalize my trauma. I am dropping the files here on Friday. — *Disclaimer: I am remaining anonymous while investigative journalists review the evidence file I just submitted to them. I have on me clinical assessments, hospital documents, and audio recordings sup…
Anyone else's parents threaten to just stop doing things? — No idea if this belongs in this subreddit but here we go. My mother has the habit of, whenever we have an argument (mainly about her religion and me not going to church), she'll talk about the sacr…
Are my parents the nparents or am I just the shitty kid? — Hello everyone, I'm Subha. I'll get straight to the point because this will be LONG. I've always wondered if whether my parents are narcissistic or not. And I needed your help to make me realise …
Gf of 7 years came back just to cheat on me and take revenge — I’m 24M, she’s 22F. We were together for 7 years. D-day was 22nd March 2026. She broke up with me in August 2025 saying I was too controlling and abusive. From my side, it was things like asking her …
Sexual coercion/ threats for divorce — my husband is saying that if I don't do what he wants sexually (anal, swallowing monthly and blowjobs 2-3x a week ) he wants a divorce . We have 3 kids. I feel stupid but has anybody gone through an e…
When did you start having sex again? During separation vs waiting for divorce to be finalized — 50m married for 25 years. Kids are adults now but still live at home. Cohabitating with my stbx, right now working cooperatively to come to a settlement soon and move through this as amicably as possi…
Both parents and sibling narcissists - is it possible? — Hi everyone! I am NC with my whole family and have been for less than a year. I’ve been going to therapy for over a year, my therapist helped me to make the decision and my husband is my #1 supporter.…
Anyone else triggered and disassociating today from the news — Mods, I couldn’t see anything in the rules about this, delete if you don’t approve. But is anyone else super triggered and disassociating today? My NMom behaved the same way. I feel like every other …
Should I accept my narcissistic parents’ job offer as a scaffold out of financial dependence? — TLDR; My wealthy parents have a sordid and calculated history of financial abuse, but are offering me to pay me to help manage their investments. I am disabled, possibly for life, and don’t know if I …
Sometimes it feels like the silliest things trigger me, and it's exhausting (and isolating). — Currently, there's some new, loud sounds coming from the walls of my bathroom in the morning. Could be some old pipes, could be something else (it's on an exterior wall on the bottom floor of a house,…
I (F23) have been with my partner (M24) for four years and he keeps being unfaithful — Early on, I made mistakes and was unfaithful, but I haven’t cheated since. Recently, I discovered he has been cheating on me both physically and emotionally with other women for the past few years. He…
Questions — The only thing I wish was for some answers just to know why all this happened. A apology some remorse something. I know you think I'm not worth anything but I did nothing and get treated horrible and …
My husband left but wants a second chance… — So my husband left in Jan and we’ve been separated since then. We did therapy up until a few weeks ago when he told me “I don’t want to give up all of the other lives I could be living for this life w…
I think something in my marriage crossed a line and I need outside perspective 31M 31F — I need outside perspective because I feel confused and ashamed. I’m just tired of debating my marriage over and over. My marriage has been in a bad place for almost 2 years. We have the same pattern …
Suicidal in an abusive family (what to do) — (This is really long and I tried to include as much as I can, it’s also rushed so this isn’t the fully story.) I’m also not really sure which community this was supposed to go in but since this mainl…
Please help us — When my wife and I first got together, her mother was very welcoming. She spent time with us, smoked with us, and seemed supportive. Around that time, my wife (who was 16) wanted to become emancipated…
I will always despise myself for being a specific kind of victim of csa. — TW- csa, SI, sh This post is going to be one of those comparing and 'my experience wasn't bad/as bad' posts, so if you are tired of them, please skip this. I am also tired of feeling this way. I was…
Political Anxiety — Are a lot of patients like me having ptsd from the social media threats posted by top government officials? I swear I regressed, walking around stunned the next day, April 8, unable to focus. I can't …
Yeah it's crazy. Also in places where gun licence is possible, I mean, I feel safer knowing how to shoot. I'm glad I learnt that. And yeah it takes many years to at least alleviate the stress. I rep…
God I feel this. My brains always on OT watching out, monitoring the threats of other's psychology against my happiness and goals. I'm currently getting trauma therapy and where I see this heading is …
I think Fearful Avoidant - I know someone has a great counter argument in the above comments - but it’s a complete myth that fearful avoidants don’t crave intimacy The crucial part of fearful avoida…
As someone who has been on the other side of this dynamic, my advice is that you try to identify specifically why you need this person so badly, and then look for other ways to meet those needs. Tryin…
Text of original post by u/f1rstpancake: TW: addiction, suicide, physical and emotional abuse, CSA. I have CPTSD, routine struggles with depression and anxiety and the corresponding executive dysfun…
That’s exactly how my last relationship was. I didn’t last long. I even tried to talk to her and explain how it felt like we were stuck in a parent - child dynamic, and how uncomfortable her behavior …
Yeah sometimes it’s helpful and other times I’m skeptical. I agreed about the negative things, and it said things that are felt like “threats to safety” are considered danger, so those are carried f…
I think AA and hyper-vigilance, they are all coming from the same place. AA is hyper-vigilance regarding abandonment. You don't want to be abandoned by your partner. One or both of your care givers li…
TW/CW: ICE Raid violence, imprisonment, and deportation Quyen Dinh, Executive Director of Southeast Asia Resource Action Center (SEARAC) joins me as a guest for this emergency episode on The Banh…
Well, with the suicide threats, you have to be firm that if they say they are going to self harm that you are going to call emergency services. This prevents them from using it as a manipulation tacti…
good points, thanks, that actually does help clarify a lot. last ex broke boundaries left and right, lots of threats and intense emotional reactivity which he claimed was love and i naively mistook fo…
From a previous relationship, my partner at a point started to be able to vocalise what she needs to emotionally regulate - which saved me from having to assume/mind-read and help me better engage wit…
Firstly, I appreciate the very well formatted post. So many instances felt like I was teleported back the past At various points in the relationship you've communicated your needs, triggers, boundari…
I think this is a very balanced answer. On one end it shouldn’t be terrible to use your phone at 12am, but being actively on call can disturb others late at night. Even when I wear headphones, sometim…
The gifts we got were always taken, threats/‘jokes’ or essentials masked as a privilege. Oh Ofc the golden child got pretty dresses and toys and treats! But us lowly others? Must have strings.
There is Swedish document about guy called Felix Åkerman (i don't think you can find it translated anywhere) He started to get weird messages arond 2015, first compliments and then threats and accusat…
I’d ask your dad (or another trusted adult) to handle the child exchanges if possible. Let him be the one physically present and communicating during drop-offs. It removes some of the emotional levera…
You may qualify for at least group therapy through local domestic or sexual violence resources. Documented threats and the other arrest will likely be enough, but I can’t say for sure, depends on whe…
There's every chance things AREN'T going well and she was outside your apartment trying to get the nerve to talk to you to ask if what he's doing to her, did he do that to you. OP let's pause, take 1…
His words were not instructions, they were threats. What he wants is for you to submit yourself completely to his control. Threatening to pull all support was his attempt to make you obey. He's angry …
Exposure has to be properly ramped up and under supervision of a person completely on your side. If you're at the point where people feel like a literal threat you should do remote group therapy first…
Cry. Did it for 40 years. Not sure how. Literally not a single touch from the opposite sex. I feel lonely and I cry. Then I get up and do something to forget. When I met someone who I felt was like …
Those are all classic manipulation likes I'm sorry you didn't get out of there sooner. You were not her codependent and she turned to more extreme threats and actions. Explore why you didn't run fro…
My parents found out about my boyfriend once in high school. He was biracial and not Indian but also lived in another state from me. We were more pen pals than romantic partners. My parents said the s…
1. Open a separate banking account. 2. Get your own separate phone plan. 3. If you don’t have access to your legal papers, you can begin requesting new copies. 4. Do not give your new address to AN…
I'm not worried, they live in Florida and are in their 70s, they're not coming up here for me lol. Plus they don't even know what town I live in, let alone my home address. They just love to make thre…
This is the line that stood out for me ... "All of my aunts and uncles called me, not to check on my sister, but to make sure I wasn't going to call the police on my dad." That is some crazy stuff t…
The threats crack me up. Once a bully, always a bully.
Usually enabler threats are empty just like narc threats but I feel a sense of vindication for you OP, knowing you can defend yourself. Juxtaposed to the helplessness we felt as children, without a re…
All of those threats and blame and then "We love you" lol. GTFO
I’d text back - guess karmas a real b#tch eh? He got what he gave - hurt. BTW I’ve moved so good luck and the police have been notified of your threats to do harm. 👍🏻
I have a fear of birds, but still my advice is to keep them. This man has gone back on his promises and wants you to get rid of living beings that were his idea to adopt. Plus he is making threats to …
Intrusive thoughts are a diagnosis, but threats are a crime. Run !!!
do yall live together? i feel sorry for anyone going through mental health struggles, and ive had my own struggles too. but threats and getting physical means TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST.
His family needs to get him help not OP. He's been violent around her and made threats to her. She's in danger and needs to leave him.
No person in this world should mutter threats on your life casually whether bc of schizophrenia or crazies. Every one should be taken as a promise so get the hell out
The fact that he has such a severe mental health issue and he and his family aren't open with you and communicating, especially when symptoms ramp up, is not a great sign. You need to remove yoursel…
Seeing my mother who thought she was God’s gift to the earth because of her looks and body and “health” slowly get old, ugly, overweight and feeble has been comforting. And the “I will die someday” th…
My mum used to do this but it took me way longer to become financially autonomous than you. He is scrambling because you were suppose to fold, and now he is facing the prospect of no longer having mon…
Schizophrenia can be genetic, and does show up around his age, so odds are leaning in that direction, IMO. If he's willing to get treatment, maybe you can work through this together. If he's not, yo…
Growing up as adult child of disabled parents forced me to be responsible for anyone. My parents criticized me in front of my friends, my ex, my siblings or strangers. My mom criticized me or blame me…
Your dad is a controlling jerk, probably has bad case of testosterone poisoning. Very toxic. You clearly are a very mature and responsible person, it's too bad he can't see that. Put as much …
There should be no question of not telling her. These people are the two biggest threats to OP’s life
Wow! Id feel the same way dude. Does she not know when married its "we" and not "i". SMH. No I dont think you are out of line on this one 14k is very significant. That could've been used for emergency…
I deleted my other comment, I think I read it wrong. I don't think you will succeed in trying to get the title, and it would arouse suspicions. If you pay insurance on it that will help you take it. F…
This; you absolutely need to call the police, OP. Locking a legal adult in her room was illegal as is; then you add in the threats of violence, a this is definitely a police matter. Let them know that…
The most important thing is your safety, OP. Never forget that. The car, clothing, books, and everything else can and will be replaced in time. Get your meds, SS card, driver's license, and anything e…
Op, do not enter that house without law enforcement. I am genuinely concerned for your safety and that of your cat. I am so sorry you are going through, but this is 100% what law enforcement is for. T…
Lady, you need to take all of this to the police. Your husband's side-,piece is pulling some fatal attraction level mind games and may genuinely be dangerous to you and your family. These kinds of thr…
Call police. Press for a restraining order against your parents for the threats. You might be able to force them out of the house. If you can't get the car in your name, figure out life without it. T…