fixing

THINGS TOXIC "SHIFTERS" SAY/DO (they are more normalized than you think) — Soo days back I made a post voicing frustrations about my shifting experience and mentioning a few a of my roadblocks. Two days ago I shifted successfully to the Odyssey and when I came back to my cr…

Marketplace Connect changed 12000 Amazon inventory items to 0 ! Has this happened to anyone? I can't get help uploading a product list I downloaded. — What a nightmare! This experience has been devastating! The software is supposed to be safe... how on earth does it change all my inventory to 0 and no one is willing to help me fix it?? I have gone a…

SEO vets - what actually works for ranking nowadays? — Hey, So I’ve been diving into SEO for a bit now — took a dozen free courses (Semrush, Hubspot), read some articles by people like Brian Dean, etc. Thought I was starting to get the hang of it. But a…

Things to do with my non technical cofounder "i will not promote" — Hi all i will not promote So i have a startup / side business im working on, I bought a friend in as a cofounder as he's generally useful in going out making connections, someone to help with site …

Proud of my results as a non expert and want to share and say thanks! — I posted about my SEO efforts about 5 months ago and I had such a warm response from everyone that I kind of wanted to provide an update. I had both shared my results and asked for advice on next step…

Head of Digital - Feeling burnt out. — Hey everyone, I’m in a “Head of Digital” role at a mid-sized company — but in practice, I’m the only technical person in a team full of editors and project managers from a traditional print publishin…

Every day I try to do things right. Every day they say no. Now I duct-tape and maintain the mess I warn them about — Hey folks, Just wanted to drop this little gem of corporate masochism So I work at this company where we develop software for real state agencies, in this 'properties' sql table we have a field cal…

I made a Chrome extension to fix my broken sleep schedule — I’ve been working on my Chrome extension called [LateControl](https://chromewebstore.google.com/detail/latecontrol-bedtime-block/pmbngcejicfbdbofhbkpknpkhmanemml?utm_source=item-share-cb) that basical…

What I learned building a quoting system for a construction company doing $10M+ a year — I recently finished a project for a construction company doing roughly $10M per year. They were quoting jobs using Excel and email threads, and while it technically worked, it was slow, error-prone, a…

Dating someone with a fearful-avoidant style has been unexpectedly… gentle? — I wanted to share a relationship experience that’s been genuinely interesting and surprisingly positive, especially for FAs and anyone curious about FA dynamics. If you are not interested in some per…

I woke up at the same time every day for 47 days straight. Here's what actually happened. — I expected to feel more energized. That happened, but not right away. The first week was brutal — especially weekends. My body kept wanting to sleep in and I had to fight it every single morning. We…

Six Months of Dating in Europe as an East Asian Guy — Honestly Better Than I Expected — Today marks my sixth month living in Europe. Looking back at the past half year and all the European girls I’ve interacted with, I thought it would be fun to do a little reflection—what I did well, wh…

My dad (56M) cut me off (21) for sleeping over at my boyfriend’s house. Now he’s blowing up at me and ruining our relationship beyond repair. — \-Sorry had to repost due to not having line breaks. I’ve always had a complicated relationship with my dad. He’s very controlling and has always been a “helicopter” parent when I was growing up. I a…

I spent 8 years trying to “fix” my mental health and now I think the real problem is that I’ve been obsessively trying to fix myself — Hi everyone, I’m trying to explain something I’ve been struggling with and I’m wondering if anyone else has gone through something similar. For about 8 years, I’ve been deeply focused on “healing” m…

My ex called me a “walking green flag” when we first started dating, and then I ruined it all — I can’t live with myself. I hate how relationships sometimes bring out the worst in people. I went from the best boyfriend (my first relationship too) and now it’s been 3 months since the breakup and …

What is the potential of Hallucinogenics fixing ptsd from your experience, taking in to a count the risks? — Or potential of other psychedelics fixing ptsd, from your experience?

I didn't have a discipline problem. I was repeating decisions i had already made. — I kept trying to fix my life by fixing my habits. Wake up earlier. Be more consistent. Stop procrastinating. It worked… for a few days. Then I slipped back. Not because I lacked discipline. B…

Need advice on fixing looks — https://preview.redd.it/h6tne57xs6qg1.jpg?width=2304&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=45c599cd550ebaa5754b5d591c9bf6555f4542de Lost 20 lbs, need to lose 60 more. Anything else besides weight, glasses, and ha…

A lot of parents give their children mental disorders then pretend as if it's the child's fault. — I side eye every parent who has children with mental health issues. The likelihood that it was given to them by the parent is extremely fucking high. Case in point, I got harmed and abused a lot by m…

A lot of parents give their children mental disorders then pretend as if it's the child's fault. — I side eye every parent who has children with mental health issues. The likelihood that it was given to them by the parent is extremely fucking high. Case in point, I got harmed and abused a lot by m…

A lot of parents give their children mental disorders then pretend as if it's the child's fault. — I side eye every parent who has children with mental health issues. The likelihood that it was given to them by the parent is extremely fucking high. Case in point, I got harmed and abused a lot by m…

Any advice on how to retrain dopamine receptors? — I (23F) am looking for advice on how to healthily produce dopamine/learn how to retrain my dopamine receptors? I have been having a hard time lately. Between stress at work and general bad habits ca…

Asian Male - looking for advice on my face and head — Something I noticed about myself is that my front profile (even if it’s better than my side) is pretty asymmetrical, and my side profile is really bad. I never liked my side profile but I can’t look a…

I (36M) feel like I ruined a 3.5 year relationship and don’t know how to move forward — I (36M) feel like I ruined a 3.5 year relationship and don’t know how to move forward I’m 36 and feel like I completely blew up my life and I’m struggling to move forward. I was in a 3.5 year relati…

Does fixing the chakras lead to physical healing? — Hi everyone. I was wondering if fixing the chakras could correct physical abnormalities / health issues. In my case, I got scoliosis ie abnormal curvature of my spine. It kinda destroyed my life, took…

Are we giving up on relationships too easily nowadays? — A friend send me this message this morning and now I am curious to hear from you. "Life has evolved in a way that it's easier to run away and start over than to fight for something that's already bui…

realizing at 30 that i had a fucked up childhood and feeling angry about it — Throwaway account since I don't want family or friends to see. Idk where to even begin here because it's all so fucked and messed up. I've been in therapy for the last 7 months or so and it's finally…

Built a simple app to understand emotional patterns (no social features) — I noticed most advice focuses on fixing emotions quickly. But understanding patterns matters more. So I built Moodie: • track how you feel • notice patterns over time • no pressure to share •…

My mom is accusing me of incest. Again. — I'm a minor. I live with my parents. Yesterday I slept in the afternoon that's why I couldn't sleep and was awake till dawn, my older brother is awake as well. We talked, reminisced about our past exp…

Would you forgive this ? — (Ex’s name) I know we aren’t together anymore but since there are still feelings there and we are still present in each others lives I feel like you should know. Last night at the party I got really …

5 years of relationship gone; I'm 20 and just was dumped — me and him always had our issues of on and off. ive always stayed despite all the things he's done and i understadn that its my fault for allowing him to do the things he did. I just feel really sad b…

I think I’ve messed up my habits so badly that I don’t know how to function in a relationship — Hey everyone, This is a bit embarrassing to admit, but I want to be honest because I actually want to change. I’m a pretty insecure guy, and over time I’ve kind of fallen into a lifestyle where I sp…

Life Happens — Recognize patterns of being controlling and possessive: You’re not allowed to visit family, or friends. Because they restrict you from going. They cling onto you and always accompanying you in everyth…

Amicable mutual break up with an avoidant — Hi everyone, I’d really appreciate some outside perspective. My girlfriend (20F) and I (24M) broke up about a week ago after \~1.5 years together. The breakup was mutual, calm, and emotional—no toxic…

Need help with my life — ​ Hi guys, this is going to be a long one, please check the TL;DR at the end if needed. I’m a 20M in the final days of my computer science degree, and honestly, I feel like everything is mess…

physical manifestation — Sometimes, even if our manifestations materialize, it feels like luck. From the moment I learned about manifestation, around 2020, I was hooked. Sadly, at the time it wasn’t that well known in my circ…

I (42F) want to leave my disabled husband (45M). But; don’t know how. — I have been married for almost 20 years. We have 2 kids (8&10). Husband had surgery on his foot about 2 years ago. And, instead of fixing it, they messed it up more. He says he is always in pain and …

Mom Let Her Mechanic “Gut” My Car — Basically the title. I have a 2012 ford fusion that I wrecked last summer and I had to leave it sitting at my mom's house because I had no funds to fix it. At her birthday party in February of this ye…

How Am I Supposed To Feel? What Am I Feeling? — So I (26F) just got out of my first real relationship with someone (25F) who I really liked - the day it happened (a week ago from tomorrow) I was devastated and begged her to stay, and about the same…

I think I’ve been minimizing what I’ve been living in because it wasn’t “bad enough” — I don’t really know how to say this cleanly. I think I’ve been telling myself for years that this is just a “difficult marriage,” and I don’t think that’s true anymore. But if I’m actually honest, m…

Fiance doesn't feel wanted/I am too friendly — TL;DR MY fiance thinks I'm too friendly and wants to feel more respected/desired sexually before showing me vulnerability. He is uncomfortable with me giving men so much attention ie talking too long,…

Why does “working on yourself” sometimes make you feel worse? — For a long time I thought getting better meant figuring out what’s “wrong” with me and trying to fix it. Be more disciplined. Be more productive. Be more consistent. But lately I’ve been noticin…

I need a hand finding direction, purpose and myself. — I am a 29M and I am currently in the middle of a divorce, but if it is anything like before with this type of situation it will blow over and we and my partner will pretend it didn’t happen. I don’t w…

My (28M) girlfriend (28F) is pregnant with twins. We had an arguement today and she was mad and showed me a video on her phone sucking off her ex. Now what? — [Updated] My partner and I are on holiday for the long weekend. It'll be our last chance to go away before the babies come so we headed off. Two days in, we're having a fight. I'm upset, she's upset. …

My ex is getting remarried tomorrow — My ex is getting remarried tomorrow. Today he sent me a text “I’ll never understand your choices” and “I would have always fought for my family”. He says this because I’m the one who initiated the d…

Being Told Sexting Isn't Cheating Because It's Not Physical or Emotional... — My wife (together 8 years, married 3) was recently caught having ongoing sexual/romantic chats with multiple strangers online for about a month—more communication than she’s had with me in months. Th…

my shoulders are….up(?) all the time. — is this a common experience? i realised yestetday in the middle of a flare up that the constant state of my shoulders are just up. up higher than they should be, absolutely not down and realising as t…

YouTube therapist is a fraud — I am using a throwaway account. I am so angry and feel trapped, and don’t know what to do. About a year and a half ago, a friend of mine (we have been friends for our whole lives, had a falling out, a…

I feel like I’ve lost my family and can’t accept it (43F) — tl;dr - My brother doesn't want me in his life anymore and I'm struggling. I’m really struggling and don’t know what to do. I feel like I’ve lost my family. My mum has only ever spoken to me on a …

F23 can’t decide if i should break up w my boyfriend M23 — Hi yall when did you decide it was time to break up with your significant other? little back story on my side i have been with my boyfriend since 2022 and he is super nice guy always there for me but …

Just a few questions here - I'm new to lucid dreaming. I garden quite a bit, so I can grow Artemisia douglasiana and a few other helpful herbs and make a poultice or something. I usually don't rem…

My concern has been 3 years of astral staking by a person who abuses the astral. They have been taken over by a negative entity. And now energy harvest daily. This has taken energy workers many goes a…

I've been in therapy for over a year for various reasons, and for me the first thing I needed to work on was my self image. Understanding and accepting myself, building confidence and a stronger sense…

Irritating the ones you love, polysecure (because it deals with a lot of attachment education), women who love too much, polyvagal theory and exercises, legit anything to do with different therapies— …

I respect how politely you've addressed this. But please see the other perspective too: 1. Most people are told by their avoidantly attached partner that they're clingy when they're just trying to n…

Maybe it’s worthwhile just fixing the app now to get it in a better working state with what you have, before moving onto a new cloud provider? If the code can’t handle it in your current provider, c…

As the others mentioned fixing your app is priority number one, however, I find it very weird that just one request blocks your whole server. You should try to find the bottleneck before moving clouds…

The answer here seems pretty clear. Fix the app. There’s no point scaling until you’ve fixed it. DigitalOcean is more than enough for your needs right now. And be wary of using Kubernetes. It’s an inc…

Fixing the shitty code should be the first priority.

Its actually not what we like. Its more what you like. Its your passion. Your dedication. Your time. Seek something that is closer to you. That you use on a daily basis. That you know a thing or two …

Hey! Nice operator you have there. But it's not well received because it is an antipattern. The restart of pods should be achieved through liveness checks not by a hard-coded operator that restarts t…

A local container emulating Fastly would go a _long_ way for my workflow. Since Fastly is based on an ancient version of Varnish (2.x), there is no `varnishtest`, making TDD to avoid regressions and …

Hey. Interesting write up, it has some good references and shows some good understanding on modern software security. Though there are some parts I would critique for feedback: >Another layer that …

Wow I had my phone read out the post. You must really like her. I applaud you for not giving up.. Or is there a different reason, that like you like challenges and 'fixing' people for example?

Heidi Priebe videos cover this alot, the hyper focus on fixing others to get our needs met Ultimately it's about accepting that sometimes people we like are not meant for us and we aren't meant for …

I'm of the opinion that there is no free will, chemicals move in your brain and then a decision happens, not vice versa. Just like lungs expand to take in air for you to breathe and the stomach digest…

😂😂 I didn’t say that. This is why I’m saying you don’t have a point you’re just arguing with yourself. I didn’t say the most toxic thing APs do is having “too much empathy”. I’ve never mentioned AP…

Hiding behind the phone. That’s one thing that pissed me off with my DA Ex who discarded me. Do what I plan to do if she ever texts me- Simply reply - “If you want to talk, you know where I live” …

They might have been more hurt that when they didn’t come in, you didn’t call to check on them, after they called to check on you when you were sick? So - I would think maybe it would be good to apol…

The avoidant(not sure which type of avoidant) I was dating of 3 years broke up with me 2 weeks ago through text. We had our flaws of course and there were times where she felt unwanted or unseen (I ta…

I'm AP, there is something which helps me detaching (it might be unhealthy though) I basically try to think how wrong other person did to me. Objectively speaking, your friend is at fault here. Confl…

I've always tested out as secure. But here's the thing. Everyone feels the full range of human emotions. The fact you felt humiliated doesn't make you a broken person that needs fixing. It just makes …

I mean, it's hard to say. I'm sure that two secure people might appear to be boring to insecurely attached people. Depending on the attachment style, even insecurely attached people find faults …

I'm really proud of your journey to healing. On an unrelated note, it always surprises me how FAs can just bring up such intense feelings in other people. Anyways, focusing on your healing journey, …

In order to overcome my anxious attachment, I wouldn’t say I’m fully healed yet, but I’m so much better compared to earlier this year. One thing I want you to understand is that there’s nothing wrong …

In order to overcome my anxious attachment, I wouldn’t say I’m fully healed yet, but I’m so much better compared to earlier this year. One thing I want you to understand is that there’s nothing wrong …

In order to overcome my anxious attachment, I wouldn’t say I’m fully healed yet, but I’m so much better compared to earlier this year. One thing I want you to understand is that there’s nothing wrong …

Bruh. Stop throwing around "I'm gonna kill myself" just because you aren't hearing what you wanna hear. I understand the desire to be in a relationship but for the love of god, if you have literally n…

I had to read your post about this same topic in another sub to get more context, so that way I could provide more specific advice. A lot about what you are dealing with is perspective and the narr…

In order to overcome my anxious attachment, I wouldn’t say I’m fully healed yet, but I’m so much better compared to earlier this year. One thing I want you to understand is that there’s nothing wrong …

when someone can *ignore* you, but you can’t even *breathe* without them - that’s not love, that’s nervous system hijack until therapy starts, treat your brain like a toddler with scissors. don’t rea…

That's ok if he's sad about it. It sounds harsh, but people get dumped and have to move out every day. Pain after a breakup is normal and natural, not something to be prevented. He's allowed to be dis…

yep, this is classic anxious attachment + hypervigilance cocktail you’re not reacting to *his* pain you’re reacting to your fear that if something’s wrong and he’s not fixing it, then *you* have to…

Ultimately, I've found that I have been attracted to lots of people with whom no secure attachment is possible because it feels *really really good* to take care of someone and have them appreciate yo…

Am I understanding correctly your wife said she would stop engaging with you if you go to therapy for yourself? This is a complex long term ingrained issue. I give you genuine kudos on working on thi…

Thanks! > Am I understanding correctly your wife said she would stop engaging with you if you go to therapy for yourself? Yes :( > I give you genuine kudos on working on this for the sake of your c…

Thank you. I noticed that I moved from anxious-ambivalent to more avoidant attachment? (for example ”I need to handle all my emotions/problems by myself”). Interdependence and a healthy relationship i…

Wow, I really appreciate how clearly you laid all of this out. It takes a lot of self-awareness to notice the pattern underneath the individual relationships, and even more to name the parts of you th…

As an anxious -attachment, it's not that easy. Many of us, especially as women, when it comes to relationships and our experiences, we need to remember --> everything with LIFE are a process. Growth, …

The one thing I've come to understand, as I've gained confidence in myself, is that you never stop attracting certain types of people, you simply stop entertaining them. All types of people are attra…

For all the anxious/secure people thinking they can fix an avoidant, this is a great example of a two therapist having it difficult. In the heat of moment, we show ourselves, thus it’s better to be go…

Got a message from a friend (that I accidentally ghosted) today. "You're weird" He isn't wrong. I was supposed to drive a few hours to meet up with him last summer and when I was fixing to leave …

That is definitely something to be discussed with your therapist. But do keep in mind what exactly 'isn't worth it' means here. Fixing your attachment style now means you can have a lifetime of secure…

My Valentine’s Day contribution: After staying over at her (30/f) place for the first time after little over a month of dating, I was relaxing before leaving for work (she WFH on Fridays), I hear a T…

There's a certain level of emotional independence two parties need to reach before they can form a healthy relationship with each other. Avoidants tend to have too much emotional independence to the…

Lots of us have been there and have thought the same thing including me recently. Its good you recognize the problem as lots simply don't- and if you've identified the problem why not work towards fix…

I know it will. It’s something I always struggled with and worse it’s something I thought I had overcome but a fight with a friend recently made me realize I’ve only been avoiding my issues instead of…

Fixing hair loss on women is often much less straightforward than on men. It's much less studied and often involves throwing things at the wall to see what, if anything, sticks. She may or may not kn…

Yeah true, thanks. I struggle with fixing this mindset about myself. I have been for years. I do like some things about myself but the parts of me that I dont like overshadow my being. Im gonna try an…

How do you guys take good pictures for dating profiles? I started using dating apps again and it sucks lol. I only have a couple pictures of myself that I like enough. But I see pictures of people and…