unrealistic

THINGS TOXIC "SHIFTERS" SAY/DO (they are more normalized than you think) — Soo days back I made a post voicing frustrations about my shifting experience and mentioning a few a of my roadblocks. Two days ago I shifted successfully to the Odyssey and when I came back to my cr…

Being a parent exposed everything bad about running a small business — Before kids, I founded and ran a small food delivery business for 5 years. It was locally loved, I had a steady stream of orders, and from the outside, it looked like freedom. But then I had my first…

How does the process look transitioning from dismissive avoidant to secure? — I'm 44 and have slowly worked out there's something up with me, to finding out about this term and seeing a lot of myself in fellow sufferer's description of it. My life is full of unrealistic expe…

Trying to navigate a "casual" relationship — Hi everyone, I (30F, trans) have been talking to/seeing a woman (24F, cis) for about 5 months. The chemistry is legitimately the strongest I’ve ever experienced - emotional, intellectual, creative, s…

Why Manifestation can FEEL Forced and Unrealistic (Success & Guidance) — Today I came upon a realization that many people do not have for most of their lives. It was the realization that our feelings and the meanings that we attach to them are also affirmations. Right no…

Finally admitting I have an attitude of entitlement. — Need to get this off my chest: I’m realizing that at 35, I’ve spent a lot of my life operating with a mix of entitlement and a victim mentality. The short version is that growing up, I had a lot of t…

I finally figured out how to manifest — For context I’ve been manifesting for a really long time. I’ve taken this lifestyle up for over 5 years. But it used to be tough to know exactly what I’ll get and when I’ll get it in the past. I usual…

Ex-wife is adamantly opposed to me introducing anyone to the kids ever. Any advice? — My ex and I have been divorced for almost five years. In that time I’ve dated casually, but never seriously enough to introduce anyone to my kids. For the past year, though, I’ve been in a committed r…

Stoic reflection. Happiness isn't about getting what you want, but wanting what you have. — I’ve been reflecting lately on how much of our suffering comes from chasing external validation, the dream of being loved, admired, or deemed normal by society. We often treat happiness like a trophy …

I cheated on my husband (online) and want to leave this behind me. — Hi everyone, I’m really struggling and could use some perspective and support. I’m married and recently got caught up in multiple online conversations with men (mostly Snapchat). It started as flirti…

40M feeling stuck between self-improvement and loneliness — how do you actually find a partner at this stage? — Hey guys, I’m 40, fairly active, and I’d say I’ve been working hard on myself over the last few years — physically, mentally, and professionally. I go to the gym regularly, try to stay disciplined, …

Been trying for 6 years, only had one 5 years ago. Any suggestions? — I've been trying to lucid dream for 6 years and only ever had **one**, over 1400 days ago while on a vacation, about 5 years ago. It lasted about 2 or 3 minutes and I had full control. Flight, telekin…

Approaching 7 Months Later - Its Almost Over — I got married on August 4th 2025 and on the morning of September 1st 2025 I saw my wife sexting some dude she met on a game. Since then she has signed a separation agreement with me that my lawyer wro…

I'm finally starting to realize that I'm worth it — My wife and I have been together 16 years. Married for what would have been 14 years in a few weeks. Last week I finally worked up the courage to tell her I wanted a divorce. I knew it would hurt but …

What to do in waves of loneliness — I’ve never dated anyone and I CRAVE intimacy and physical affection and I don’t really receive it from family or friends really and it’s been really impacting me lately to the point where I spiral abo…

How to differentiate between real symptoms and anxiety — I (22M) have struggled with a myriad of symptoms that seemingly fluctuate randomly. Some days I’ll feel weakness and fatigue in my muscles that makes doing basic task feel extremely straining. Other d…

Got hurt, tried to heal, got dumped because I didn't heal fast enough. — I F22 was on and off with my now ex"boyfriend" M21 for almost a year (never made it to girlfriend status) and I’m really struggling to make sense of how things ended. Right before Valentine's day, we…

I’m afraid — my girlfriend broke up with me one month and a week ago. we only dated for about that same time so it was really short. however, I did not expect the break up at all, and it was completely out of the …

I successfully manifested my celebrity crush, but now something went wrong — Hey everyone 🥹 I already have experience with manifestation, and so far I’ve always gotten what I wanted. There’s this band I have loved all my life, and a few days ago I saw them live and actually…

How do I set realistic goals for myself? — Realistic is something I always struggled with. Goals I've always had were too big that my ex never supported me for it and would say everything I wanted to achieve was unrealistic and too hard for me…

The early signs and red-flags to look out for with a covert narcissist. — Hi all, I'm making a list of signs/traits of covert narcissism to be aware of, feel free to add to this. When the covert narcissist entered my life, I had no idea what I was looking at. I noticed …

Manifasting the “wrong way” worked. — For many years a used to have gratitude/manifesting notebook before even knowing what manifastation was. I got the idea from a video on Yt. On the right pages i would wtite things I was thankful for.…

Not Getting Anywhere — I finally started therapy on a regular basis about a year and a half ago. I was really struggling from childhood and it continued to snowball for decades. After a year of sessions I let my therapist k…

To break up or not to break up? (F25) (m27) Great on Paper, But Something Feels Missing — Lately, I (25f) have been questioning my relationship with my bf (27m). We’ve been together just over 2 years. He is a really great guy- extremely loyal, has good values, listens when I bring up issue…

(35m) Less Sex while Dating Gay man (29m), am I being abusive? — i’m open to non-monogamy, but more like a “primary + side” dynamic, and i explained that to someone i’m dating very early on. as we kept seeing each other, he started using the l word, but at the same…

Letting go of fantasy — Here's a short excerpt from "Children of the Self-Absorbed" about letting go of fantasy, which I think is one of the most valuable steps and also biggest hurdle * Your parent admits their errors, hur…

Is gratitude actually a form of manifestation? — Hey guys, I guess this is a discussion but also insight/advice needed!! I have been thinking about this recently - is gratitude actually a form of manifestation? Lately, I have been making a habit…

What questions to ask in therapy? Feeling like I’ve plateaued — I haven’t seen my therapist in about 6 months because I felt a plateau in my progress with her, but recently decided to schedule an appointment because my family issues have been getting worse and I’m…

How do I, 26F, get my husband, 25M, to realize talking to his family is the issue? — My husband and I have not been to together extremely long (2 years), we got married because he decided to join the military. My husband and I don't have any real issues in our relationship. Now onto …

23f young mom north al — Hey everyone, I’m a 23 year old mom living in North Alabama (Athens area). I still live with my baby’s dad, but we have separate rooms and are essentially living separate lives at this point. Latel…

Strict dad doesn’t allow me (19F) to date until after university. I’m scared of telling him about my long-term boyfriend (19M). — I’m 19F, a uni student living at home, and my dad has always been extremely strict about dating. He’s said multiple times that he doesn’t want me dating until I graduate university. Meanwhile, my brot…

I have applied for a job without my mom knowing — I am 31 years old. This is the next step toward breaking free from my mother’s life long infantilization of me. I’ve been told by her for years that I don’t have the ability to do any kind of job I ex…

My (21F) partner (22F) won’t communicate issues unless I bring it up first — We’ve been together a little over a year and I’ve noticed that whenever something is going on with my girlfriend (22F) that impacts our relationship, they won’t talk to me about it or do anything unle…

Disconnection with my (25F) partner (23M) — I’ve just hit pause my partner, and really struggling to recognise my feelings. He was *perfect.* Constant flowers, love, attention, would do anything for me and put in so much more unconditional lov…

no contact to reset..? — my ex and I broke up and it was messy. Very messy. The end of our relationship turned very toxic. We both love each other but also acknowledge the way we were going was both unsustainable and down ri…

First lucid dream after years… Why did my dream control completely fail? My new method backfired — # Notice \----- This post might contain some sentence blobs that may be large for those people who just want to skim through, so I wrote a summarizing “**TL;DR**:” after every few sentences! Additi…

Has anyone else been through so much that you just have to laugh at the absurdity of it? — I know I have. My childhood was shit. I was the problem child through elementary school. 2020 was when I started declining fully. 2021 was when I was almost in psychosis. 2022 was when I got into drug…

My life was taken before it ever got to begin, thanks to her — It's hard to know where to start because my own memories of childhood have mostly eroded entirely. I'm 25, and I can't tell if I just have general memory issues or if the trauma is really that great. …

I (29f) am getting engaged to my (36m) bf. We've looked at ring designs but I feel bad asking for one I really like. What's the best way to approach this? — Hi all, my other half and I have been looking at engagement rings and he said he would propose when we go on holiday in September. All good. Quite aside from my feeling that I'm the one doing the ef…

How to people who were broken up with accept that the relationship is over? — This might sound like a silly question, but I’m hoping for any advice or experience from people who were eventually able to overcome being broken up with by their partner. It’s been two months since …

I have extreme fantasies, please help me — I (15F) have weird fantasies, I will start off by telling you abit of my Childhood, my dad was a HORRIBLE GUY , hes the cause of this, I forgot he was even there while I was a baby, and when I was 5 t…

How do I (31M) convince my (29F) that her reading is unhealthy for us? — I'll preface this by saying this has been by far the best relationship I've been in so far in my life. Communication, intimacy, shared goals, connection, everything has been perfect. We have had one h…

Spouse 25/NB got a new job, now we are at odds 25M — my spouse 25NB and I 25M have recently gotten ourselves into a now huge issue and I am at odds with what to do. For starters, my partner and I have been together for 6 1/2 years. We started dating dur…

I’m struggling with jealousy and insecurity in my relationship because of weight changes, how do I work through this in a healthy way? — About a year and a half ago, both my boyfriend and I started gaining weight. Fast forward to now, and he’s pretty much back to his old physique, maybe even in better shape than before. Meanwhile, I’ve…

My partner (29M) wants to move far away from my hometown but I (29F) wants to stay close to family. What’s the compromise? — So my other half and I have been together for 5 years, we have a child who is going to be 3 in a few months time. In the future we want another child, we want to buy a house and get married. I’ve alwa…

Narcissistic / how do they do it? — Hello guys, The following may sound unrealistic, but my partner and I have been experiencing it. Due to my parents’ narcissistic behaviour—such as wanting to be in control me, manipulating, lying, t…

Hi, that sounds like a false awakening chain. I've experienced a few of them too, including the annoying part where you lose lucidity each time the scenario "resets" itself. No idea what causes it, o…

Tbh you’re allowed to have your viewpoints but this is attention seeking behavior judging by your posts meant to get a reaction out of the people here. Also, why go on a Murphy sub for this? You alrea…

Yeah I've seen a lot of increase in those posts too. I don't think is the subreddit to tell everyone else that NC led you to get back with your ex, first of all is giving everybody false hopes or unre…

If it comes to new age stuff like LOA/LOB/Law of assumption I actually agree with you to a certain degree but not entirely. So let me explain where I disagree. Most people who follow Joseph Murphy, LO…

>So the formula that always works is: Getting to know yourself well + analyzing and understanding where your issues come from + realizing your weaknesses and what you need to change in your life + sta…

By ‘phantom ex,’ I mean that the most recent crush is serving as an idealized image of someone they can never have, which makes it easier to compare others to this unrealistic standard. It’s common in…

My company is ready to pay reasonable price for the software we use and that provides value over FOSS ones. Unfortunately many companies go for crazy unrealistic pricing models and then complain that …

Something like 35% of entrepreneurs are suspected to have ADHD despite ADHDers being only 4.5~% of the population. Not fitting into normal job roles, setting unrealistically high goals, risk taking, …

I think I get your point but I feel like we’re kinda talking about different things haha. All I’m saying is that to expect consistent communication from a partner that is working on their insecure att…

I get what you're saying with respect to people taking responsibility for their actions, but I think it's unrealistic to expect everyone to be at the same point in their healing journey as you are. If…

I literally felt the same, and so needed a second opinion. Here's what Claude Opus 4 had to say (after copy pasting it): Why does this reddit post feel like an ad? My spidy sense is tingling: Yo…

Everyone, including the anxious people, put their best foot forward at the beginning. Anxious people expect it to always stay the same as it is in the honeymoon and that’s unrealistic for both sides.…

Regardless, I'm saying what youre offering is an unrealistic way for an avoidant to heal, and you're looking at avoidance and attachment theory in too binary a manner

This was helpful, thank you. I just can't understand the avoidant. I thought we had turned a corner, but my FA (admittedly after a few arguments throughout the week) is now saying 'everything he's eve…

That's a lot. Getting a list with all the things someone doesn't like about you is already really hard to swallow, even harder when it's given by a person you loved and trusted very dearly. Not only d…

I'm on chat-contact with a lady across the Atlantic . I feel fairly emotionally safe with her, but the distance makes the relationship borderline unrealistic. I'm divorced with a son whim I love more …

Something I experience with intuition vs anxiety is that intuition in my experience comes to me when I am calm or doing something that soothes my mind, and this creates room for my intuition to “come …

I know my relationship of 15 years is over. She's mentally unwell and has very drastic mood swings, but she refuses to actually get help or to work on herself at all. When she's in a good mood, she …

Children should not be adjusting their expectations to their parent's comfort level. That does cause damage, and teaches the child to suppress their needs and choose "the right timing" to express that…

Okay…here is what I am seeing in what you are saying. It doesn’t sound like you really enjoy your hobbies/interests very much. Like you are doing them because you think you should but not because yo…

It is unfortunate that as we get older we do tend to grow apart from old friends. It is a normal part of life. It still sucks, but it helps to keep the perspective that all people (even secure ones) g…

I know, but there's no source of hope or optimism anymore. Everything has been horrible, and I know it's going to continue that way. Every day hurts and every day I have to do it alone. There's no hop…

Of course you're having unrealistic thoughts. You don't know her. Yes, you know she's not perfect. You know she has flaws. But you don't really know what those flaws are, and it's so easy for your b…

All posts are manually reviewed before being approved for posting. This usually takes less than an hour, though it can take longer depending on moderator availability. While you wait for your post to …

I'm going to take a stab in the dark and guess that perhaps the reason you feel he isn't "fun" is because he doesn't really try to make things fun *for you*. I'm making some assumptions about the two …

Listen to your gut. I read your response to several people and you just said something doesn’t feel right. If he wasn’t your type to begin with and he doesn’t seem fun now after a year, imagine 20 yea…

I’m new here… wanted to ask some advice. I’ve been dating a man for a year and he is also my coworker. We had kind of a bumpy road, and have even broken up twice in Aug and then September but came bac…

FWIW, knowing NOTHING about your life aside from age and gender, I don't think it's unrealistic to be open minded to this. Having been single for six years now and looking at the possibility of taking…

This is very refreshing. I'm tired of hearing anxious people constantly bash us and talk about us like we're demons or something. IMO, anxious people are not as self aware as they think. They'l…

Yeah, we like dancing, going out to eat, taking walks, can do other things together. It does tend to be us doing our own thing on the couch in the evenings, though. I think I just wish I could have mo…

Almost the exact same thing happened to me recently. I went on a date with a girl last Sunday for coffee. I messaged her afterwards saying that it’s hard to tell after 1 date but I had a good time. We…

I'm pretty sure you're misunderstanding the word "connection". A lot of the time, it's simply shorthand for attraction or lack of attraction. Unrealistic expectations play a role in the challenges of …

> so if we don't like who we're on a date with, we can just keep on swiping to find the next one Yes... you've described the purpose and process of dating... You meet people, and, if you don't like t…

Maybe this is a helpful reframe (helps me at least). I think of it more like "I have been on two dates with X, so I only know them 120 minutes" (or however long). It helps me stay tethered to the idea…

"this is you and your unrealistic expectations, this is your fault".

>do you know how hard it is to find someone who likes ALL your hobbies all at once. It's really hard, and unrealistic, and also not as important as you think it is

Although your thoughts and feelings around this situation are a bit complex, I think you made the right call purely based on him saying you're the love of his life after 3 dates. That's unrealistic an…

Ok yeah that makes sense. I used to subscribe to "when you know you know" but I ended up being abused. I have an idea of my ideal partner in my head, but I've never met anyone that comes close to it. …

I watched Leap Year and now I'm unrealistically romanticizing the idea of meeting some hot European man, becoming enemies but forced to spend time together, and us falling madly in love with each othe…

I'd cancel the date, you're just setting him up with unrealistic expectations and the both of you for disappointment. Stability and the spark are a dichotomy to you. If you go through it with, you're…

It’s possible you have an unrealistically high baseline proportionate for what you’re bringing to the table, and that’s what people are reacting to. Especially if you’ve never had a girlfriend.  For …

It's not wrong to want to date someone based on mutual attraction, but what you seem to be missing is that there is a lot more to attraction than just the physical. Sure, physical attraction can be th…

Ugh, I’m having this problem! He is always open to hanging out with me (great!), but we rarely seem to actually to do anything. Maybe it’s been the weather, and the holidays finally wrapping up, but I…

If you expect to go once and meet everyone to fulfill your needs, you have unrealistic expectations. No one said you show up to these social events and magically meet someone right away. It takes ti…

I always thought of middle age as being around the halfpoint of a typical lifespan. So to me, late 50s would indicate a person living to almost 120, which is unrealistic for most of us.

hii for context we are both 18 basically my bf and i have been dating for three months, we talked for a month before that. when we were talking we would have actual conversations, he would initiate t…

I think entering a romantic relationship at this point would be unrealistic. It’s like running a marathon without doing any training. It sort of sounds like you don’t know how to socialize and romanti…

Relocating for a better social scene I'm a 34 year old man living in middle of nowhere Pennsylvania. I've had several long term relationships but ultimately they did not work out due to cultural and …

I'm amazed at your memory! You are 100% correct. I was overly infatuated with her. In hindsight, it was an unhealthy level of obsession and it created unrealistic expectations for anyone else. That s…

Unrealistic. Coldsores are ridiculously common. I have never had a partner disclose it unless they get a flare up or I specifically ask. Having expectation for anything otherwise is setting yourself u…