book
leave
Evidence
Citations (101)
Seeking a reality check and validation on a “Trauma bond” and how I was treated — This is my first Reddit post so bare with me. Also pre-warning, some notes of DV And Emotional Abuse. I’m posting this because I need an unbiased reality check. I asked an AI to help me organize myse…
Start Here: Essential Resources & FAQs — The idea for this post came up in [this thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/Wordpress/comments/1cpme25/mods_can_this_subreddit_implement_a_minimum_karma/) by wiz to avoid the number of similar questions …
Think of the comments as inverted Uber ratings. (click to find out what this means) — I last posted a variation of this a little over 5 years ago. We're a little overdue for a repost. --- You know how every Uber rating is right on the verge of 5 stars unless something's particularly …
My arguments against manifestation — 1. **Maladaptive daydreaming proves that manifestation isn't real**; Manifestation doctrine teaches that what you focus on expands and manifests in your physical reality. Do not split hairs and try to…
A Procedural Update for the Continued Health of Our Subreddit. — Hey everyone on r/NarcissisticAbuse. We get it, we really do– the U.S. political situation right now is a bloody mess with further escalation, rather than some kind of stability, on the horizon. W…
Helping my partner — I (40f) looove my partner (36m). We've been together almost 9 months. When he isn't triggered, he presents as very secure. Loving, consistent, communicative, vulnerable, empathetic, self-reflective. …
The soul-crushing reason I may leave UX — You'd think I'd say because I'm over 40, because I'm exhausted by this long unemployment, that I see the the current market and impact of AI clear-eyed, yada yada yada. It's none of those fill-in-the…
Google not indexing images from my site? Images don't show up in search results? — I submitted my website to Google months ago and they've successfully crawled it many times. For some reason it doesn't seem they are indexing any of the images on the site. My website is image heavy a…
Feeling stuck between a promo and burnout - advice? — I'm approaching 5 years at my current company (2 years as junior, 3 as mid-level) and am submitting a promotion case for Senior. I won't hear back for a couple months - my director feels optimistic, b…
What to Say When You’re Not the Cheapest Option (And Someone Pushes Back on Price) — I will not promote. This is a best practice I've found in my own works.So, you’re having a great conversation with a potential client and then you get hit with that line: “I know someone who can do it…
Is there a UX role in existence that doesn't involve so much documentation? — So I come from a background in design. I was a bit of a generalist before—branding, logos, layouts, art direction—and while that was fun, it started to feel fragile. Like I was always one trend away f…
Should I redirect the sales? — This is not a rant/rave about my e-commerce journey as I expected a lot of turmoil and for e-commerce to not be all it was cracked up to be. This is actually witnessed by the shhear number of people …
Investors? I will not promote — So who here has got investment specifically for a mobile app, I built one and it's fully working the only problem is that it's a social app and people only trickle in, around 10 per day, they arrive a…
Should I disclose that I’m working on my own startup while still searching for full-time opportunities at other companies? I will not promote — In order to sustain myself and bootstrap my startup, I’m currently looking for full time roles. I’ve been working on it for over a year, and on my resume I’ve actually put that I stopped working on my…
Should I leave my 9-5 job in a finance company for a job in an early stage startup (I will not promote) — I am an engineering student who has a degree in Computer science and engineering (Data Science) with an honours in Quantative Finance. I have been a part of 3 startups mainly in the social and influ…
After the first deployment of your products, how do you get feedback? — I launched my products and so far I've had around 100 orders, from those 100 order 4 have left a review. Apart from the fact that the reviews are shown in the website, I would like to hear feedback fr…
Why ex-tech creators are bad fit for conferences? — I haven’t been to many design-related conferences throughout my career, but I decided to give a CoCreate Conference a shot. I won’t go into the event organization here – just the speakers. From what I…
using AI for repurposing our pillar content generated 4 million impressions and hundreds of leads — I recently led a Reddit content repurposing campaign that got over **4 million impressions** and **hundreds of new user signups** for my client. Here's exactly how I did it. # Why Reddit, and why use…
"Locked" Inspector Stylesheet — So, I recently was modifying and testing something in CSS via inspector-stylesheet and all of a sudden it got... Locked?? I don't know how else to explain it. I can create a new inspector-stylesheet …
Manager vs. IC when recruiting soon? — Hi all! I have the opportunity and flexibility at my job right now to move up into a managerial role, and I get a lot of freedom in deciding what it looks like. E.g. I could oversee and manage designe…
Proud of my results as a non expert and want to share and say thanks! — I posted about my SEO efforts about 5 months ago and I had such a warm response from everyone that I kind of wanted to provide an update. I had both shared my results and asked for advice on next step…
Being a parent exposed everything bad about running a small business — Before kids, I founded and ran a small food delivery business for 5 years. It was locally loved, I had a steady stream of orders, and from the outside, it looked like freedom. But then I had my first…
Alternate for 'Please share bank details' to transfer money — Hey folks, I’m working on a simple tool aimed at helping small service businesses — like tradies, pet groomers, caterers, mobile cleaners, etc. — get paid faster. Instead of sending invoices or shari…
Anyone know of an alternate for 'please share your bank details' (I will not promote) — Hey folks, I’m working on a simple tool aimed at helping small service businesses — like tradies, pet groomers, caterers, mobile cleaners, etc. — get paid faster. Instead of sending invoices or shari…
Do push/pull dynamics happen even when you’re not participating in them? — I (F, 32, originally AP, now definitely more secure) have just gone through a very confusing dating experience. 3 months ago I started seeing this man (34 met on Hinge). He started off very interested…
Looking for early adopters - Customer Review Reminder — I'm a solo builder and recently launched a simple tool called **ReviewReminder (https://www.reviewremind.com/)** to help small businesses automatically remind their happy customers to leave a review. …
Advice with how to deal with problem customer (aggressive) — I recently opened my local game store and the community has been great. The other day a customer came in and was rude and combative right out of the gate. I was polite back but that seemed to make no …
FA trying to be more secure, need some insigh on relationship to have "fresh eyes" on it and not just my insecure one — Hi, So, I'm FA and my partner is secure. We're living together and are together for 9month now, it's going good and we're doing our best in the healthiest way to navigate the complicated stuff (I hav…
Think I found a secure woman, and almost immediately self-sabotaged. — In my social club, there’s a woman who had consistently shown signs that she was into me. I was direct and asked her out. She said she was interested but couldn’t date for a few months because her j…
If I could just stop deactivating!! (FA) — Follow up from some of my previous posts. I’m deactivating again. I think? Or maybe lost feelings for my partner and I’m just lying to myself and not wanting to let go. The thought of that makes me cr…
I (re)earned my secure attachment this week. What a journey this has been. — I just wanted to share this diary dump with anyone who wants a success story. I believed myself to be FA/A for a long time, and this week I can finally call myself secure. TW: sexual assualt Despite …
A little look into how fearful avoidants operate (aka, how one of my relationships ended - twice - because I was unaware of my patterns) — When I was 21 and *severely* fearful avoidant I dated a secure guy who was wonderful in every way, but obviously not for me. I did everything stereotypical of a fearful avoidant attachment does in a…
Help me to recognise my attachment style please! — I (26F) am struggling with this a lot, since my patterns of romantic behavior don’t seem to fit neatly into any of the four categories (AA, FA, DA, SA). On the one hand, I clearly crave intimacy and…
Law of Belief - Relationships — I have read the POSM by Joseph Murphy and gone through the index, but one thing that keeps coming up and seems to be rather controversial within the JM community is how law of belief affects other peo…
Proving Conciousness Creates Reality Syllogistically — 1. We exist. But our existence is dependent. We as physical beings, did not cause ourselves. 2. Everything we observe in the universe is also dependent. Stars, planets, people, and everything else we …
Will my ex FA ever stop resenting me? — I was with my ex (FA) for 2 years, amazing connection and relationship. She broke up after a rough period (lots of changes + frequent arguments, not too intense) saying she was overwhelmed. Later she …
Triggered over broken promises — Got heavily triggered over a little promise made by my boyfriend. I asked him in the morning to send me a message once hes back home but he did not, and instead i find him gaming for hours. I feel …
How to deal with triggering situations — Life has been so rough lately when living with anxious attachment in a relationship. Everyday is a struggle. We had an explosive argument yesterday which left me even more on edge than normal. To put …
The New Agora: Daily WWYD and light discussion thread — Welcome to the New Agora, a place for you and others to have casual conversations, seek advice and [first aid](https://modernstoicism.com/two-types-of-stoic-therapy-by-john-sellars/), and hang out tog…
Physical Reaction — I will try to keep the backstory short. I had not known anxious attachment was a thing or that one of my coworkers had become one of only a couple people I really felt a deep connection to, until a f…
Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…
RSD potential cause of AA? — Hey fellow AA folks, Since discovering attachment theory 2+ years ago, life has improved quite a lot. However, for the sake of anyone else who might be fresh to attachment theory, I want to spare yo…
Master’s degree, big scholarship, and leaving a toxic situation — Background: I was keen to leave my toxic family situation for years but let’s just say it wasn’t happening. I got a good job in my hometown, I found someone I loved who was desperate to marry me, I …
Rushing to know if I’m long term compatible with someone — The past two years I’ve done a lot of internal work on myself regarding my attachment and codependency issues. I feel that I lean more secure than ever. I recently started seeing someone, I’ve known t…
How do you know what’s secure and what’s not in a partner? — So I am anxiously attached, I’ve done a ton of work and I think I present as fairly secure now (?) but when I’m triggered it’s a mess in my brain. My question for the anxiously attached and those who …
For those hurting, advice for your 2026 and my story — Hello everyone, **Preface** I am an anxious attacher, so my experience by-and-large is with dismissive avoidants and fearful avoidants. It is not my intent to villainize these attachment styles; thi…
how to apply skills from therapy and date like a sane person? — tl;dr how to keep a connection going with a secure potential love interest who likes to be alone when you’re anxious-preoccupied af 😭 i’m a lifelong anxious-preoccupied and through years of Doing Th…
A letter to my FA Ex — I don’t even know why I’m writing anymore. I don’t know why I still pour my feelings onto paper when the person they’re meant for has emotionally switched off. Maybe this isn’t for you. Maybe it’s jus…
A letter to my fearful avoidant ex — 31st December 2025 So here we are. Another night, another thought. It’s been nearly 25 days since Eddie left me. Recently, so many emotions have been running through my mind. I never thought I would…
Feeling conflicted, I don't know if I don't love him and I am settling or if I love him and the "cons" are avoidant deactivation? — I 33F have ve been dating this guy 32M for 8 months. He's chased me for years and eventually recently I started to feel attraction back, he figured it out and kissed me. For some months I didn't feel…
Can I get some assurance from reformed people pleasers 🥲? — And some advice? Not necessarily on "what to do" because I know how to set boundaries in theory. It's managing the guilt and fear of fallout that I struggle with and I do because all my life any time …
Attached by Amir Levine changed everything for me. Also recommend 'Avoidant: How to Love (or Leave) a Dismissive Partner' by Jeb Kinnison.
Yes, so you will find many experienced Astral Projectors will agree that we all leave the body every night. In one sense, you could called both dreams and the Astral, the experience of Internal Worlds…
Hi! So I’m pretty new to this sub and currently trying to read up and decide what I think about AP. For a long time, I’ve believed that reality is a construct in the mind, or just a result of what our…
Thank you so much for explaining! One more thing if you don't mind, what's the best method to leave the physical body? I tried the rope technique yesterday, it didn't work but I know I need to practic…
Hi! I am a very spiritual person. I meditate usually 2-3 times a week. I have recently been trying to AP. sometimes when i’m falling asleep or meditating, i feel these intense vibrations and i get tha…
Hello , anyone ever felt like it hurt to leave their body ? I seen fire 🔥 and some pulled me back in . Anyone have any idea what it means?
"Your silence will eat them up." I hope that's true. I know her crazy family talked her into leaving. She came over, we went to dinner, said she wanted to break up. Go to my place and hook up twice …
same. when ive been the leaver i just found my exes annoying and was relieved when they didn't contact me... and then I never thought about them at all.
The only control you have is to leave I tell myself this every day
Yea I can’t believe that 8 months ago I would have killed to get my ex back. Yeah no thanks . Very happy with myself and my life and the stars aligned perfectly for that child to leave my life. Univer…
I've asked two different entities, and they gave me partly conflicting answers. The self-proclaimed deity said most humans and all animals go to an enormous astral...warehouse waiting room thingy. Th…
Yes!!!! You said it! I agree. I believe that too much Disney and dumb Hollywood films has gotten people thinking that relationships work after they have been broken… answer is no. Also people who play…
I agree. And a perspective from someone who’s sort of finally on the other side of heartbreak recently - it might not. I have no evidence that my ex even misses me. We just don’t talk anymore. Hones…
well the origine of our body parts , or people who look exactly like we do originate elsewhere in the lyra constellation , not earth , the lyra constellation is our true home and has planets with …
Or don't. If you reach out and they shoot you down, then moving on gets easier. While you're pretending not to care, you're still holding out hope and hope stops you from moving on. Leave it all on t…
Yes!!!! Once in one night, I kept getting pulled between here and “the other place”. I’ve been calling it that, assuming it’s another dimension or parallel universe. It was somewhere familiar but unkn…
Thank you for asking. I feel a little lonely sometimes but I’m better than I was. Still miss him but in a different way I think. It’s weird when someone’s a huge part of your life, then leaves it inst…
If you don't wanna adhere to the rules of Reddit just leave the mod role and hand it to someone new. No need to suffer the whole community for it.
Yeah, most people break up not having tried couples therapy, or truly starting to fix finances, or many other things. They just get fed up from repressing resentment that could've been mediated by a p…
What does that look like??? Find a new hobby. Anything. Try learning to knit. Learn to build robots. Take a class in 17th century blacksmithing. Join a woodworkers guild. Join an improve troupe. Volu…
If you left your ex then don’t go back because you’ll look like a chump… admit your mistake, move on and grow… if your ex dumped you then face it… you got dumped… examine yourself, grow and move on… …
Hello, I'm Kale, and Im 34. I was just married 3 months ago after being in a loving 8+ year relationship with the kindest person I've ever met. Three days ago she told me she had developed a relation…
Wonderful information in the introduction. I would love to get some personal insight from people who are familiar with Astal Projection. I'll keep it as short as possible. I have recently discovered t…
"I was accepting her for her more and more every day. She was doing the opposite" This! And not just this, really liked your whole post. Where are you now? Did you leave that relationship behind …
What if you’re the one that messed up? Bad… we have a son together… its been a year and the guilt is eating me alive. I still live her too… i really want to talk to her and apologize. I understand tha…
Try therapy. Just remember that therapy can take a long time and be expensive. If you haven't already in the meantime, try looking for parenting classes. Or try parenting forums, if a specific p…
Ive had female friends who can dettach and drop a guy as easy as theyre changing clothes and would always tell me to be like them so I dont get hurt, but the thing is I would rather be hurt than hurt …
This is a neat way to look at it! And yeah, for cases that are more nuanced, when I give advice on here, I make it a point to try and see what might be going on from the other side, then suggest cours…
I've seen the opposite. I've seen people encourage illegal acts. It was a recent post about a PS5. The girlfriend bought their boyfriend a PS5 for his birthday and like a week later he said he wants …
I learnt never to trust a person with 100%. I always have rules for people and myself that I date. 1. Rule if you or I cheat then leave 2. If you are angry don't shout but talk it out. 3. Always be …
1. That is why it’s called maladaptive daydreaming. The person does so to escape their current reality. They are not making actual changes, thinking different thoughts, reconditioning the subconscious…
Love these arguments. Point 1: There is a difference between hypnosis (true authentic feelings of experience of here and now of the desired outcome) and daydreaming. When you give your mind and your…
You’re not being rude. You just don’t understand. I won’t explain it either because I want to gatekeep it. Why does my sp come only when I want them to or work on myself? and leave exactly when I ha…
Ohhh yes 😑 my distant avoidant was exactly like this!? whenever I thought things were going great... he would withdraw for days and I would leave me crying and sleepless 😔
So pardon the length (I haven't told anyone yet) and thank you for reading. I might have a crush on a good friend ("Steve") who I've reconnected with after a few years of not hanging out. We didn't …
lol majority of posts in here come across veryyy differenty to me. More like: “my partner / ex is avoidant. They hurt me constantly in a multitude of ways. I’ll list numerous negative qualities about …
I'm also a recovering FA and I recently realized a few REALLY important things that are actually really simple. Figure out your boundaries and enforce them from a calm place. Our anxiety builds in our…
Shouldn't everyone be free to stay or leave a relationship for any reason, anytime? I mean, our partners don't own us. I like to think what's great about a relationship is that two people have every…
If you have ever had to watch a secure friend get destroyed by someone with Anxious attachment it is awful. Sometimes healthy people get tired of being smothered and decide to end a relationship. An…
You think you don't owe your partner, someone who's entered into a loving partnership with you, anything? That you can just walk away from that righteously, whenever? Sounds like a paltry, wispy comm…
I do understand and I can agree it’s not a behavior that can cultivate a long standing relationship with someone who is secure or anxious. But the same can be said about other attachments aswell (no…
I feel like if it’s only been a week and you haven’t gotten physical and you’re not feeling it, it’s best to just leave. Running from a strong connection is different from running from someone you don…
What have you done to resolve your fear of commitment, your emotional unavailability and the inferiority complex? Why are you searching for excitement from a partner? What does that mean to you? Is i…
My brother i think it's good you posted here bc you can begin to recognize you have anxious attachment. It was one date. Even if she's brushing you off and lost interest, she doesn't necessarily owe …
I definitely have much less and less tolerance for dismissive avoidant individuals once I identified those traits in my mother, realized they’re a root of pretty much all my lifelong trauma, and start…
This is not standard. Maybe the person has other stuff going on making them act hateful. Or that’s how they cope with their decision to leave. An avoidant deep in the trenches does not want to look li…
Your post leaves out the important little phrase "feels like", first of all. Secondly... I was left in the dark many times, in veryyy hurtful and disappointing ways. Not once have I felt or had a tho…
I’ve felt mine hated me. When I finally let go I realized it was more likely something I came up with on my own. The silence leaves us with so much space to make assumptions. For my situation, I thoug…
Your feelings are valid, AND they are not facts. The above commenter is trying to offer you some wisdom; you can choose not to be reactive and take it personally and look again and ask “what can I lea…
thank you for being vulnerable. After the alarm fades, is there ever an awareness that the metal walls shredded someone on the way up? I understand and empathize with all of this, I just have a hard t…