small thing

My friend/coworker (26F) didn’t invite me (26M) to her birthday party after I helped her get her job. How do I handle this? — My friend who is also my coworker (26F) is having a birthday party this weekend and I (26M) just realized I wasn’t invited. This is especially weird because I literally recommended her for her current…

What made you hate component libraries? — Component libraries make life a lot easier, cause I don't need to spend 6 hours trying to figure out why my dropdown menu won't align to the middle by 3 and half pixels. However, as time goes on you …

I am solofounder and I love it — Sure, it can get a bit lonely sometimes. But there are a lot of upsides! * Fast execution * Total decision power * Absolute creative freedom * No back and forths on colors or small things * You can s…

I despise myself for having avoidant tendencies. — I'm dating someone right now, and things are actually going well. She moves a bit slower than I'm used to, but that's probably a good thing—my last relationship moved way too fast; we slept together …

How do you know what’s secure and what’s not in a partner? — So I am anxiously attached, I’ve done a ton of work and I think I present as fairly secure now (?) but when I’m triggered it’s a mess in my brain. My question for the anxiously attached and those who …

How honest are securely attached people? — I'm curious how honest secure people are with others in their life. I'm healing from dismissive avoidant attachment and my instinct whenever something bothers or upsets me is to dismiss it as not a bi…

What’s one habit that genuinely improved your life more than you expected? — I’ve been trying to build better routines lately, and I’m curious what actually works for real people. What’s a habit you started that ended up improving your life way more than you expected? I’d love…

Am I crazy? I feel like a stalker. — I (26F) don’t understand how my ex (31M) switched on me overnight, and I’m struggling to cope. We dated for almost a year. At first, he was obsessed with me. He talked constantly about our future mar…

Lack will dissolve when you realise: Manifestation starts from irony, and feeling it real starts from memory. — I said it. This post is for people whose brains are very logic driven. Those who think: “I need to see proof before I believe something.” i have something for you. Let's go. We all know the key: The…

Divorce was not how I imagined life — I never thought I would go through divorce. When we married I really believed it will last forever. But life changes and people change too. At first it felt very heavy. House quiet, many memories eve…

Manifested work and a promotion — I've been a silent lurker here for a while, and for some reason I couldn't manifest small things like idk, seeing a pink elephant. I felt like I was trying so hard, forcing myself to see that pink ele…

I (21F) Am losing feelings for my (22M) boyfriend. Any advice? — Throwaway account. I (21F) and my boyfriend (22M) have been together for a little over two years. It's been good for the most part, and i can tell you that my boyfriend is one of the best people i kno…

I (28F) care deeply about my fiancé (28M) but feel like the romantic connection has faded after years of imbalance. How do you know when it’s truly over? — From a burner account. I’m looking for some perspective because I feel like I’m at the end of a long internal process and I don’t know if I’m being unfair or if this is just the reality of where my re…

How do I control my anger and my lack of patience in my relationship? — I’ve been with my husband going on a year and a half. He’s a wonderful man and our relationship is overall healthy. But I fear I am becoming emotionally abusive towards him. I’ve been in bad relations…

I (30F) suspect my mom (58F) may have taken money and my deceased grandmother’s earrings while I was away. I have no proof and it still bothers me years later, how do I move forward? — I’m 30F and my mom is 58F. I currently have very minimal contact with her due to a number of issues in our relationship. I haven’t blocked her, but I don’t engage much beyond unavoidable family events…

Small succes story - it worked! — Hey guys! I kind of have a small success story. A few weeks ago I posted here saying that I needed at least 800 euros to pay a debt this month and was in the middle of changing of my mindset. But, I …

Divorce mad em realize how much of fatherhood I was taking for granted — A few months ago, I had a moment that hit me right in the gut. I just dropped off my kids to go back to their mom's house. I came home and the house was empty. Quiet. No noise. No yelling. No kids ru…

How I slowly got my mental clarity back after months of brain fog — A few months ago my mind suddenly didn’t feel like itself anymore. I was rereading sentences, forgetting simple words, and struggling to concentrate. What confused me most was that everything medicall…

I [27f] feel like I have to ask for a lot from my boyfriend [29m] of 2.5 years — When we first met, as kind and fun as he was, I noticed he seemed to be a bit thoughtless with certain things, like on our third date when I got in bed to go to sleep he started playing video games in…

I’m scared I’m the kind of mom people talk about here, even though I’m trying so hard not to be… — I found this group after typing into google “how can I get strength to parent after being so tired from work” on a Friday afternoon. I’ve been reading through this forum and it’s honestly been sit…

~1 year no contact check in. It gets better! — Here’s my experience of going from never being single as an adult to single and happy (spoiler alert! It was SO hard but probably the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done).  Background context: I had …

My wife left a year ago — My wife left a year ago I got divorced about six months ago. We were together for eight years and married for four. She cheated last year. It wasn’t anything dramatic. One random day, borrowed her l…

My wife left a year ago — I got divorced about six months ago. We were together for eight years and married for four. She cheated last year. It wasn’t anything dramatic. One random day, borrowed her laptop since my office one…

I think my friendship with my best friend might be ending after her wedding and I don’t know how to handle it — I (29F) recently attended my best friend’s (29F) 10-day wedding, and what should’ve been a happy time has turned into something really confusing and honestly hurtful. We’ve been close for years (aro…

My body constantly feels like a panic attack ... how do I ever reverse this? — Hi, all! I really would appreciate some help here. I've had a lot of traumatic things happen in the last few years, and I realized a lot of traumatic things happened in my childhood. There is a lot I'…

Religion might be trapping people in their own hell 💀 — We know that assumptions and beliefs create our reality. Think about people throughout history who did absolutely horrific things, yet genuinely believed they were doing the right thing in the name o…

Message to victims who are considering to stay. — 3 years ago I found out my wife had affairs earlier. It all came out one dramatic day and over the weeks other items came out. Trickle down truth (the worst) I was devastated. Couldn't eat. Could…

I feel addicted to my best friend(?) — i’m not sure if this is the right place but i gotta put this somewhere. for context ive known him for 7 years now he’s the only friend thats stuck around longer than 2 years about 8 years ago i star…

My boyfriend (M25) saw an old video of me(F24) and was disgusted. How can I get over this? — I never thought I’d be making an advice post on reddit, but everyone in my present life is super split on the issue and can’t really relate. I genuinely don’t know how to fix this. So my boyfriend (M…

Tiny success story — So I have been reading some NG and have been starting to put his lessons into work. At my job, I work with a lot of expired/damaged products and with resell vendors. Some of the stuff I keep for me a…

[22F] Need outside opinions on a very confusing and painful situation with a guy I dated [22M] — I’m 22F and he’s also 22M. We met on Hinge last August and clicked very fast. It became intense almost immediately. He was very interested in me as a person first, not just physically, and he openly s…

Broke up with my gf because she wants kids now and I'm not ready. — I (30) just broke up with my gf (31) of 2 years and instantly feel awful and am questioning if I made the wrong decision. She has severe endometriosis so basically needs to start trying for kids now.…

My dad (66M) started making sexual “jokes” about me (20F) after I turned 18. — I’m 20F and I live with my dad (66M). Something changed so drastically in the past two years. For context: he’s not a “bad father” in the traditional way. He’s responsible, financially and kind …

How do you deal with friendships that only partially match your values? — Hey, today I’ve been thinking about my new friends, and my older ones too to be honest, and a pattern has come to my attention. Many times when I get close to someone, or even a moderate friendship s…

The 4 ways couples fight, and only one of them actually works — So I went down a rabbit hole reading Gottman's research a while back (the guy who can watch a couple argue for 15 minutes and predict divorce with like 93% accuracy) and the thing that stuck with me w…

Have you ever manifested a life you thought you could never have/thought you'd have to work very hard to get? (Please respond if so, I'm so emotional right now) — okay I am almost in tears, because I feel so lonely and behind (21) I feel so hopeless and sad because I truly am behind in life, not only that, I don't have the money to do the things I want to or ge…

I think I need to leave my marriage — I’ve been going back and forth on whether to post this, but I need to get it out somewhere. I think my marriage is over. There wasn’t one major event that caused it. No cheating. No physical abuse. …

Why it's just 1 person but feel like 2 completely different people. — The person I think who she were: \- Care for other people \- Humble \- Loved by many people, chased by many men, but still chose me (who is nothing special, ugly, and broken inside before meetin…

How to differentiate between real symptoms and anxiety — I (22M) have struggled with a myriad of symptoms that seemingly fluctuate randomly. Some days I’ll feel weakness and fatigue in my muscles that makes doing basic task feel extremely straining. Other d…

Nothing changed until I stopped waiting to feel ready — I used to think I needed the right mindset before I could change anything. Like I had to feel motivated first, or clear, or at least a little bit certain about what I was doing. So I kept waiting. …

I ignored my self-critic for a full week and boy was it exhausting — A week ago I decided that since behavioural activation therapy, CBT, other therapies, and trying to find ways to be productive or find meaning with others or by myself, and even low pressure advice we…

Gf going to Europe for 6 months while fighting. — Im (19)M and my girlfriend (19) have been dating for almost two years now, the last couple of months have been rather challenging as we seem to fight a lot more. It’s always over the smallest things t…

Struggling with messy avoidant breakup — Hi all. My boyfriend (26M) and I (23F) dated for almost a year. We broke up early January. Our breakup was really hurtful, as it was a sudden discard when I brought up one small thing. At the end he s…

How do I handle recurring mood shifts and communication issues in my relationship? — I (22M) have been with my girlfriend (20F) for a bit, and I keep running into the same issue. It feels like small inconveniences or minor things can completely shift her mood, and when her mood drops…

Day 6 — 6 days since. Today was another pretty good day. Still think about her/us all the time. I try to listen to music as much as I can to drown out those thoughts but they still come in. If you are reading…

27 M my first gf left me for another man. — I don’t have my first relationship until I was 24. I met her (let’s call her Ashley) while working fast food after I stopped going to college due to Covid & tuition. She was a typical alternative type…

I don't love my parents — Growing up as the eldest daughter I had a lot of unspoken expectations bestowed upon me, especially since I performed relatively well in school. My mom cares about my grades because she wants to compa…

Help me understand why he did what he did — This might be long but I’ll try to keep it concise with enough detail. Me (25F) and my ex (30M) broke up very recently, and it felt very sudden. In fact, we were on a staycation together when it happ…

Avoiding Your Real Work Is Costing You More Than You Think — # Avoiding Your Real Work: The Hidden Cost of Staying Busy Without Progress ***“I’ve been noticing this pattern in myself lately and wanted to share it here because I’m curious if others deal with th…

Meds?? More therapy? — ​ I (30F) have anxiety and have always managed it pretty well through therapy and what not but lately i just feel out of control of my thoughts and I never feel calm and honestly I dont know w…

Thank you for sharing. I get this too, and until I read your comment I didn't understand why I was so upset over the "secretive" accusations...they don't even ask about the small things, so of course …

I read this post as I was at lunch, I was sitting and thinking about a new scene for a mission I will do - and it involves a big airballoon. Out of nowhere this college walks in and says ”have u guys …

Don’t know for DA, but I’m FA and I do this. Usually it has nothing to do with the person themselves, I’m just tired and cannot sustain that level of engagement long term. I’m also super sensitive to …

I'm also a recovering FA and I recently realized a few REALLY important things that are actually really simple. Figure out your boundaries and enforce them from a calm place. Our anxiety builds in our…

Love the question!! You don’t need a relationship to grow, that’s the beauty of it (you can but it will be slower, depending on what kind of partner you end up with) You could try to explore being mo…

Echoing what everyone else said. Any time you're walking into a situation to make an organization or team devopsy when they weren't before, you're going to get opposition. Small changes will make peop…

Love this comment. I’ve found it to be so true. For a regular ex I was with for nearly a decade and we had a fairly normal/stable/secure attachment to each other, maybe a little bit dependent on each …

My ex and I have been apart almost four months. I realize now I'm fearful avoidant. When we got together, I actually kind of didn't want to. I had left my last relationship a few years before and felt…

Unfortunately the past still hurts. You did the right thing by telling him. He just did what he needed to do to feel safe. Cheating isn’t a small thing. He’s taking care of himself.

I haven't broken no contact, but I've seen an ex about year later and she pretended not to see me, it stung so much that I felt like I was back at square zero. I was so shocked by it because we didnt…

This is probably the toughest thing for me. For one, if you have a partner that does this type of thing often, they could be avoidant. There's a reason we often don't do well w avoidants bc they don't…

I totally get what you mean, like when we’re anxiously attached, it often feels like our whole sense of self depends on the other person’s attention. Being aware of it is already a huge first step, …

Hard to say but I would react fine if it's something like *hey I've noticed you're doing this thing and it affects me in a certain way*. FAs are empathetic at their core and do care so learning about …

I know my relationship of 15 years is over. She's mentally unwell and has very drastic mood swings, but she refuses to actually get help or to work on herself at all. When she's in a good mood, she …

I am looking for concrete actionable items that an avoidant male (43) would like done in a new romantic relationship. I ENFP just started dating an INFJ. He's anxious. About everything. Including t…

I’ve been learning a lot about anxious attachment and how it affects relationships. For some people, it shows up as overthinking messages, replaying conversations in your head, or feeling panic when s…

Text of original post by u/Musician-Kind: So I am anxiously attached, I’ve done a ton of work and I think I present as fairly secure now (?) but when I’m triggered it’s a mess in my brain. My question…

Thank you so much for this detailed response! This was very helpful. I think you may be right about the place he is at right now. I like the idea of just observing behavior at this stage instead of ma…

Hi everyone! I've recently stated my journey to healing my anxious attachment. I've been really struggling in my relationship with overthinking little things my partner does. The issue is that I get s…

This might genuinely be terrible advice, so please take it with a grain of salt, but here is a process that has been helping me when my anxiety flares up like that. This might be long, forgive me (ADH…

Wow, this is so insightful. I'm so impressed by this realization about yourself! Seriously. That's not a small thing you just unearthed. Way to go!  One thing I do to flex my self trust muscle is re…

Better than getting sucked in even more like I was. It's taken me several months to work through my "addiction" and it sucks. He gave so little yet was so much fun that I projected a bunch of things …

firstable, i have a lot of mental health issues. so me and my (idk if ex) boyfriend who's avoidant and has trauma have been together for 1.5 years LDR where i was constantly arguing and picking fights…

Hmmm. That makes it hard. I think the cupcake idea is well thought out and would be perfect. I think if she doesn’t want sweets than a small plant or a small thing of flowers could be good alternativ…

It takes more time than you'd really expect to get over someone. I remember for me recently, I was trying to get over someone and while the logic center of my brain made peace with the idea that it wa…

Plan the romance. Write down things. I don't think my partner was naturally romantic when we started dating (at least that's what he told me), but he started writing things down that I liked and was i…

I'm in a relationship and I feel like I'm slowly sabotaging it and I think my boyfriend is about at the end of wanting to make this work. Everything will be fine and then I misinterpret one small thi…

Just wanted other opinions or a read on this. I ended things with someone I went on two dates with. I tend to pick up on small things but I just felt like this was weird, or at the very least showed…

We’re born 3 weeks apart hence crazy stuff with the progressions. We’re unsure of his birth time but there’s a good chance we share the same ascendant (libra). Even if he is a Scorpio asc the composit…

Past couple of weeks have been tough. I've been seeing a guy since mid Jan. Saw him a total of 8 times in the first four weeks. He's sweet and respectful, good communicator, good cook, we generally …

I wouldn't say "radical honesty" is linked to secure behaviour (I'm not earned secure, so don't take my word for it), nor would I say they tell more white lies about small things/honest about big. A …

I am a Libra sun cap rising, and I would actually say the opposite about my experience so far. My Saturn return will begin in June (I'm 28), but I have recently found myself going for more colorful cl…

\+1 on therapy that is geared toward building self-compassion. It's very difficult and feels weird and angering, but works with time. Other practical things: \- Corrective experiences. What helped m…

And… I broke up with my (no longer) boyfriend. I should have done it last week and stuck to my original decision, but somehow we reached today as final breakup day. What a weird weird turn of events. …

Next week there is a book fair where my niche cosplay group was supposed to meet up again... but as it seems everyone is scattered across the four days or not showing up at all. Now earlier I was noti…

>I use it to swap red light timers to green early. I use it for convenient parking spaces. I use it for compliments from attractive people. I use it for free food. And pain relief. And gifts. And for …

I think you can use suppression sometimes for small things. But rely on it is impossible it leads to bad consequences and you will simply just blow up. In these cases when I’m on the edge I’m thinking…

Honestly, that might just be his communication style. It would bother me to have a conversation with him because it would feel selfish but it sounds like within the context of your relationship it’s a…

Why would that change the situation you are in now? She didn't initially come forward voluntarily and would have likely never confessed on her own to what you already know. You will likely never get a…

Why are you letting such small things ruin a good vibe? But whatever, let it fade and don’t unmatch, you never know maybe next week ur music taste will change lol

I’m in basically the same exact situation as the other guy. I told her I’d do whatever it is I needed to change and work on but she just is refusing to tell me what it is. Most she’s been able to tell…

Thank you for this. The part about there being no way around it, only through it, really resonates with me. That’s exactly what this feels like right now. It’s a storm of emotions and some days are de…

Yeah, change is genuinely hard, especially when it means questioning old habits. I actually noticed small things like using Naamasutra energy salts for spatial cleansing made a real difference for me-…

My problem is I can make small things like car keys or my favorite chapstick appear instantly like almost magic, but when I do things like $500 or longer hair it takes a while to appear or sometimes n…

*short novel alert, sorry, TL;DR at the end* As someone who has been struggling with finding a technique that "just works" for these things as well, and who also just discovered I am neurodivergent (…

I really like your example about small things like being late or buying the wrong brand. Those reactions say a lot about how someone handles imperfection. I agree that emotional safety grows with tim…

I've have had constant chronic pain for 15 years now at 34, on top AuDHD, and only recently realized that cptsd has everything to do with how I was hard wired. Every day is a battle with my own body a…

That slow-motion moment you described, watching the frustration show up, recognizing what was about to happen, and not getting pulled in , that's not a small thing. Most people only notice the reactio…

The most hurtful thing was to realize he wanted to leave me when his family didn’t accept me after he got arrested for DV. It’s like a switch went off on his head and if his family disowned me, he did…

Your comment really resonated with me. I feel like we share a lot of the same feelings. One thing I stress about a lot is how much childhood can shape your adult life in ways you don’t even realise un…