book
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Evidence
Citations (100)
I (21M) have survived two decades of severe physical, emotional, and financial abuse from my Indian parents. I'm finally exhausted and need to tell my story. I am not free yet. — # TL;DR: I'm a 20-year-old only child in India who has endured severe physical, verbal, emotional, and financial abuse from my parents since toddlerhood. They have beaten me, medically neglected me, …
How should this sub respond to reddit's api changes, part 2 — We stand with the disabled users of reddit and in our community. Starting July 1, Reddit's API policy blind/visually impaired communities will be more dependent on sighted people for moderation. When …
Post-quality time cool down? Is this a pattern for DAs? — My (FA) therapist and I (lol) may have noticed a pattern with my partner (DA); after an increased amount of quality time together (compared to our usual 1+ times per week), or increased amount of mess…
I got ghosted and I feel blindsided — I (26F) met a guy (26M) 3 months ago who was in every sense of the word my dream guy. We spent 1 week together before he left back to his country. Ever since we have Facetimed every single day, and we…
Looking for a technical co-founder I will not promote — Hey all, I'm working on a B2B SaaS platform targeting a specific form of fraud that's draining revenue from e-commerce and logistics companies. It's a blind spot for many, but the financial impact is…
Duolingo leader throws shade at r/UXDesign — You all might remember this thread a few months ago, [debating Duolingo renaming UX to “Product Experience.”](https://www.reddit.com/r/UXDesign/comments/1j3hvkw/duolingo_renames_ux/) The VP Mig announ…
You know what sucks about being in the process of healing your attachment type? Dating someone who has no idea they have an insecure attachment and you're just wasting all that hard-earned security on someone who doesn't care — I've been fearful avoidant most of my life, and it's helped me in abandoning very healthy partners because I was too blind of my issues. For 2 years now I've been working on myself and seeing huge s…
I (re)earned my secure attachment this week. What a journey this has been. — I just wanted to share this diary dump with anyone who wants a success story. I believed myself to be FA/A for a long time, and this week I can finally call myself secure. TW: sexual assualt Despite …
Will my ex FA ever stop resenting me? — I was with my ex (FA) for 2 years, amazing connection and relationship. She broke up after a rough period (lots of changes + frequent arguments, not too intense) saying she was overwhelmed. Later she …
I (28F) had an affair and don’t know what I’m doing. Please help. — I’ve been with my husband for 8 years, married for 2. He is genuinely the best person I know. Kind, safe, loyal. He’s my best friend. When I cry, he’s who I want holding me. When something funny happe…
What is your biggest dream-killer when you become lucid? — For me, I start to go blind and feel this overwhelming fatigue that usually culminates in me fainting and the dream ending. Usually rubbing my hands together or touching the environment helps, but I'm…
What was the hardest non-legal part of your divorce that nobody warned you about? — I went through a divorce recently and the legal stuff was hard, but honestly it was everything else that really caught me off guard. I had an attorney to help me file and communicate with my ex's atto…
Hairy Crabgrass (Digitaria Sanguinalis) -- Is it a potential 5-MeO-DMT source? [In a wider Ayahuasca narrative] — I can't say for sure if it was the grass because I also have a lot of existential stuff going on. I read a report on an old message board that someone's cats like eating crabgrass. They tried ferment…
how do you live with the harm you've caused in the past? — Four months ago, I broke up with my ex. We were going through a rough patch but from their perspective, it was nothing we hadn't gone through before. I completely blindsided and discarded them (a term…
Divorce really messes with your head. — You spend years thinking you know someone, building a life, raising a kid together, and then one day they blindside you. What’s even crazier is when they act like you weren’t blindsided. I’ve literall…
EMDR therapy fail — Today I was so excited to start EMDR. Before booking treatment, I told the therapist that I need help with sexual dysfunction resulting from child abuse and multiple SA’s as a young adult. She said 95…
First post here, don't normally do this but I need help. 27M — Gday all, firstly just want to say hi to all who come across this post, and also forgive me if my grammar is bad. I was never really good at it... What is mentioned in here could be quite triggering …
The "Manosphere" — Last night my wife and I watched the new Netflix documentary on the Manosphere. It was entertaining and informative, but also quite sad. My first reaction, honestly, was that with the exception of th…
Unexplained flash of light — A few years ago my sister & I were laying in bed both on our phones & we saw what looked like a camera flash came from one side of the room. We both ignored it partially bc we hoped it was the other o…
Are They Cloaked… or Are We Just Unable to Perceive Them? — They may not actually be “cloaked” at all. It’s possible we simply can’t perceive them. One idea that comes up in discussions about encounters is that some beings may operate at a much higher vibr…
Feeling genuine disgust when my parents seem proud of me/brag about my accomplishments — Is it just me that experiences this weird psychological twist of sorts? My parents only seem proud of me when I conform to their “ideal” image of me. Mind you, when that was the case my depression wa…
If your ex blindsided you, no contact probably will make them come back. — This is long- but I hope someone in NC with their ex in hopes they’ll return will read this because this is reality. I had an ex I loved so so much. We were together for 6 years, from when I was a t…
I got a call from my lawyer — I'll make this quick, but 6 months ago I was arrested for something I didn't do. Since then I have remained under investigation for Conspiracy to commit fraud and it's turned my life around. The polic…
Ex-wife is adamantly opposed to me introducing anyone to the kids ever. Any advice? — My ex and I have been divorced for almost five years. In that time I’ve dated casually, but never seriously enough to introduce anyone to my kids. For the past year, though, I’ve been in a committed r…
I'm blind in the astral — Everytime I find myself awake in the astral I'm always blind, I do have the ability to see there and I can hear what's around me (One day I was pacing my dining room in the astral figuring out what …
The dangerous 'toxic positivity' of AI therapy: A personal story — **TL;DR:** I used a customized Gemini "Gem" as a complementary therapist, but it completely failed to spot a predator. The AI interpreted extreme red flags (love bombing, gaslighting, and manipulation…
Why do we downplay the issues our partner had and take all the responsibility? — Basically the title. I put in so much time and effort into my past relationship. There are things in hindsight I could have done better, but those became clear only after being blindsided that they wa…
About no contact. — I just wanted to say that, yes, you should go no contact if you got dumped, only way that someone will realize what they lost is by not having access to it anymore, could take days, weeks and months f…
I did not handle the breakup well and became obsessive. Never again. — This is gonna be long and messy, so just a warning. My ex ended things with me on text, without a call or meeting me. I requested her to give us proper closure in person, but she had asked for time, …
“ he never harmed me” good to know my suffering meant so little to you — My ex husband left me for the mistress 6 years ago. It was hell. I am still to this day dealing with the trauma of having the person you trusted and loved so much just pull the rug from under your li…
Those of you who were blindsided, discarded, or abandoned- how are you doing now? — I see a lot of people on here saying that they were unhappy for years and what a relief it is to be divorced now. But what about those of us who thought we were in a happy marriage only to be left wit…
1.5 Years Update 💀 My predictions became true — No, I do NOT want my ex back—like ever 😭 but I do have a story + some lessons from how everything played out. So basically, about 1.5 years ago, my ex randomly broke up with me out of nowhere. Like……
Strangers are kinder than my ex — My husband said it was over 6 weeks ago. I was blindsided, and of course there was someone else. It’s been a rough 6 weeks and I’ve been alone in figuring everything out for the divorce. Today I had h…
‘John Wick’ Spinoff About Blind Assassin Caine Gearing Up Production Under Donnie Yen’s Direction
What Happened? — Just looking to gather perspective from someone else. I (M34) matched with someone (F36) on Hinge back in December. Got along really well and had two dates in January, which went really well. We kiss…
Attempting to meditate — I want to begin energy work. I am going to start by honing awareness. I keep trying 3-5 minutes of meditation, I figured it’s a start. Once I settle in, I immediately feel vulnerable and like someone…
07/2013 — I may have finally found a place to talk about my experience, but if this doesn't belong here, I'm sorry and please point me in the right direction to another thread. First, thank you to anyone who …
Does anyone else get these crazy "vibrations" or is it just me? Need to vent — Yo everyone, i rly need to share this because whenever i try to tell someone they either think im capping or jst give me that blank oh really? look its frustrating as heck. so here’s the deal i usual…
Update after miscarriage and blindside divorce from STBXH — Two months ago my STBX husband (39M) blindsided me (34F) while I was pregnant. I was abroad doing a graduate course when he ended our marriage by text. Three weeks after he dropped me off at the airp…
Unexpected benefit of keeping a dream journal — I've noticed a specific reason that recording your dreams helps you become lucid. When you record your dreams, it solidifies those memories for a lot longer. You start to build up a collection of dre…
It Doesn’t Get Any Weirder Than This! Ten Extremely Bizarre Close Encounters of the Second Kind — [**It Doesn’t Get Any Weirder Than This! Ten Extremely Bizarre Close Encounters of the Second Kind**](https://youtu.be/N3W83uyKBhE) by Preston Dennett https://preview.redd.it/42uniyk4a1sg1.jpg?width…
Advice for my ex and for others in the future — Do not tell others about problems in your relationship, especially without letting your S/O know first. A lot of people are toxic and will just tell you negative things and tell you to leave. Those co…
BF broke up and is now with a girl that looks exactly like me... — Me 25F and him 36M were in a long distance relationship. When we started dating We stayed together in his apartment for months while I was visiting his country, he had a lot of difficulty traveling b…
breakthrough trip & the bigger picture — Hello, it's me again. I know that there are people here who enjoy reading my experiences so thus my posting. Obviously a disclaimer is this experience is under the influence of a psychadelic, but it t…
The fatalistic overcorrection of the dichotomy of control. — I wrote part of the body of this post as a comment in another thread, but I see these comments very often anyway so I thought (voluntarily) that I would give a general objection to them here. The g…
Blindsided — My fiance and I have been together for 8 years. Rarely ever fight or even argue. Lots of plans for the future. Had been through plenty of situations that would have ended most relationships. He always…
Blindsided break up… now he wants to keep the door open. — I (32M) was in a relationship with my ex (34M) for about 2.5 years. We genuinely loved each other. At one point, I moved countries to be with him. It also worked out career-wise for me, so it felt lik…
Me (35F) and I think I found the love of my life (40M) but there's one serious problem. — Context is important here so let me start there. I divorced my ex husband 5 years ago, but we were separated long before, in total apart for 8 years. In those eight years I did not date, did not go ou…
How do I (35F) handle my soon-to-be-ex-husband (38M) asking me to change my name back? — Throwaway. Not to be dramatic but last year was the worst year of my life. I got unexpectedly laid off from my job of 8 years in June, and immediately things with my husband of 6 years / partner of 1…
Kinda Proud but Missing Support — It’s been 8 months, I have read so much here, now posting for the first time. After 32 years it was a blindside. He left to get “a fresh start”, “ just want to be happy”; this was all after he me…
OK try thinking of a common place you go to that's memorable and see if you get images If not then I suspect you may have [aphantasia](https://www.verywellmind.com/aphantasia-overview-4178710#:~:text…
I hear you buddy. I loved my ex so much, and still love her, even though I could never take her back. But what really hurts is as you described - she blind-sided me and could not care less. I, on the …
Omg I relate SO much to what you are saying. When my ex's affair was discovered he was remarkably cruel to me. He wasn't sure he wanted to continue in our marriage and refused to cut things off with h…
Can blind people astral projection?
And sorry, ap is dreaming. If it was different, those of us who rarely or dont dream would be able to do it. But this is not the case. Either that or the ones who dwell in the infinite darkness of u…
>I have had conversations with my partner over time about attachment styles, and they eventually determined that the descriptions of Avoidant Attachment sounds awfully familiar to them. They have star…
This is not a competition who is far less irritating or who is more evil than the other. Its about both parties should be taking accountability. I am more than agree with you that AP’s biggest challen…
And yet some of us never even knew this was a thing. Some of us had a great relationship till it ended and we were blindsided. Yes we do deserve better, but someone couldn't even imagine this was a…
One thing I'll say is that in the early stages of dating you aren't actually seeing a person's natural "energy"; you're seeing their energy when they're flying blind under the pressure of courtship an…
That’s an interesting point, the possibility of dissociation. I have actually been quite conscious about remaining present through the pain. And there has been quite a lot of pain. So many emotions su…
I don’t relate to attaching to my therapist, but I certainly was blindsided by some of the anxious traits that have popped up after I started healing. It was pretty disconcerting until I read in a boo…
I don't think it's hate, it's just a 'ok that's done now' door close moved on. Heidi Priebe on YT (video: avoidant blindspot) talks about the idea in her videos about avoidant behavior of having the …
The thing is, with certain types of people you cannot afford to feel empathy because it will just be used against you. The same person begging on their knees for you not to leave them can be the same …
I'm so sorry, this sounds so hard. If you can, I think it would be amazing to focus on yourself right now and what you need. My long distance boyfriend dumped me out of the blue after one disagreement…
I've been in this exact situation when I was an FA in a LDR with another FA in another country. And our f2f time was very little like yours but we spoke daily, intensely and talked and had plans. I kn…
He’s going to leave you. I’m sorry. I can guarantee this. He’s extremely immature, and you are trying to be his mother and his therapist. It will backfire on you spectacularly. He needs professional h…
As a previous DA, I did not feel guilt once I disengaged from someone because I had reasons for not wanting to be with them anymore. Those reasons may be very immature they may not make a lot of sense…
If you are secure, I recommend you to take a step back for a bit and analyze this more objectively. Roller coaster sounds like intermittent reinforcement which could blind just anyone. But by taking a…
Before working with any agency or automating anything, do it yourself first, even if it’s messy and manual. You can’t outsource what you don’t understand. If you don’t know what works yet, an agenc…
Oh man, I feel this post in my bones! As someone with ADHD who built a whole business helping other ADHD entrepreneurs (Scattermind), I can tell you you're definitely not alone. The "100 ideas but ca…
I had no purpose, no self awareness, no clarity. But I gained them through one thing. I got you. I will help for free. Nine out of ten people are blind to their purpose, and I was too just six month…
Good luck on scaling lol. Solo founding is fun until you're drowning in customer support tickets at 3am with no one to tag in. VCs want co-founders because they've seen this before - the burnout…
Oh man, I feel this post in my bones! As someone with ADHD who built a whole business helping other ADHD entrepreneurs (Scattermind), I can tell you you're definitely not alone. The "100 ideas but ca…
Yeah, I mean every one can have blind spots in the way they communicate and deal with relationships, even securely attached people.
Agree with these. With mine, there was just a general lack of sweetness or playfulness. Anytime anything veered to something romantic, he’d say something casual and offputting to change the moment to …
Something along the lines of, "oh we *just* broke up recently, but our relationship has been dead for over a year." Basically make it sound like he's been processing it for a long time, but the truth …
This post takes 5 different topics and mixes them together into a mess which would confuse someone who's new to the Law of Belief and Joseph Murphys teachings. 1.Taking conventional action towards y…
My ex showed up as secure and available. He did all the right things up until literally hours before the abrupt ending. Then he unleashed the barrage of issues and fault finding on me. I was completel…
I felt like you , I was blind to how much effort it took her to feel as easy as i do.It becomes easy to forget , that it just may not be enough. I find it easy to put joan on a pedestal just for tryin…
"I was literally BLINDSIDED and DISCARDED by my DA who said 50 times that they need space and I'm overwhelming them. Don't they understand I just want to love and suffoca- I mean support them?! Why…
My take: People are terrible at self-identifying their primary attachment pattern. You see it over and over again on these subs, people claiming to be secure who could not be more obviously insecure…
I'm not suggesting that sub is 100% bad (nothing is all bad or all good). But it's absolutely an echo-chamber that frequently becomes toxic and dehumanizing, conflates every negative behavioral trait …
You claimed that the most toxic things APs do is “have too much empathy,” which amusingly points to one of the primary hurdles APs have to overcome in order to heal. I claim that the most toxic shit …
I probably would say its better to not answer. But if this person was really safe for you, I would say ask him if he's been working on his attachment issues. I think as long as someone is blind to the…
So the FA I dated for over 3 years sent me an almost identical message like clockwork everytime he would discard me(usually took 1-2 months after no contact) I didn’t know what attachment styles were,…
Thanks it’s hard to find the balance, but I’ll definitely stop turning a blind eye to red flags. It’s hard to trust myself because I use to jump to conclusions
That is very true. I think when you go from insecure to secure you can spot it in others quickly. While secure people that always were secure might be blind to insecure people. If that makes sense. A…
Yeah that makes sense. Its about questioning your instincts and not following them blindly, though not just blindly doing the opposite of what you want/need either.
Sorry to hear of this situation. I can only imagine how frustrating it was or still is to you. I can't speak on behalf of this person, but from my own recent experience, Im only now coming into expl…
I'd be curious what's going on with the guys you date that pull away after a few months. The knee-jerk reaction you describe is useful information but it would be more useful to see if you're somehow …
The second to last paragraph here is so important. I didn't truly start healing until I realized that I was treating relationships like they were something I could react correctly to rather than corre…
I am so happy for you. Genuinely and from the bottom of my heart! My SO said something very similar. ‘I want to incorporate you into my life’ it blindsided me and I think has sent me into the worst s…
This is straight facts. Most people in the world don’t believe in these teachings or any New Thought principles. They’re on autopilot, brainwashed, kissing others asses, blinded or too closed-minded t…
I'm so sorry you are going through this. While my relationship with my FA ex was short (4 months), it was very intense and a lot happened during that time. I fell for her hard and still love her. We w…
I’ve been dating my guy for 5 months. He has been extraordinary. Patient, kind, loving, basically says all the things my soul has been dying to hear. He reached out to me, and by date number 2 said he…
I think i fucked up.... So I (32F) just ended things with a guy (33M) that I've been seeing for 2 ish months. I cant tell if my anxious attachment style got the best of me or of there were genuinel…
what did you expect to happen? him to read your mind and know exactly what you wanted him to do? he offered a heating pack. he offered to bring stuff over. he asked how you were. but still it wasn't e…
I don’t understand how you have collect all that information(that resonates with me evrn though ofc doesn’t feel good) just from what I’ve said but that just shows how blind I am to my own thoughts an…
What red flags did your ex show that you may have overlooked or downplayed? What way were you abandoning yourself in this relationship? We always abandon ourselves in some way before anyone else does.…
Previously extremely anxious in relationships, have never gent calm love. But then two years ago I met a man and wewere in the most secure, loving, beautiful relationship. No anxiety, in fact he purs…