worse

I (21M) have survived two decades of severe physical, emotional, and financial abuse from my Indian parents. I'm finally exhausted and need to tell my story. I am not free yet. — # TL;DR: I'm a 20-year-old only child in India who has endured severe physical, verbal, emotional, and financial abuse from my parents since toddlerhood. They have beaten me, medically neglected me, …

How should this sub respond to reddit's api changes, part 2 — We stand with the disabled users of reddit and in our community. Starting July 1, Reddit's API policy blind/visually impaired communities will be more dependent on sighted people for moderation. When …

Can we talk about how bad the current Shopify Admin UI is? — How has this continued to be a thing, and how did this get approved internally? The Shopify Admin UI is a complete mess. It's genuinely hard to believe this shipped — and worse, that it's still the c…

How are unemployed designers managing financially right now? — I was laid off two months ago and have been in the job search grind since - applying, interviewing, and trying to stay hopeful. But I’ve also been feeling pretty stressed and anxious, especially as ti…

The algorithm doesn’t hate you — Started working with a TikTok shop client who thought they were ***shadowbanned*** and we reversed that in 60 days. Views were at less than 200 per video. Sales? Even worse. It dropped from 30k to be…

Business scaling up - what cloud provider should we use? — Our business is scaling rapidly — we’re currently handling millions of unique requests per week, and this number continues to grow. At the moment, we’re hosted on DigitalOcean, paying approximately €4…

Am I the only one that dislikes Wireframe CC? — I'm new to web design, so take this with a grain of salt. I've been browsing around for good, easy wireframe websites so I can finally stop using PowerPoint to do them. I tried the 7 day free trial fo…

Marketplace Connect changed 12000 Amazon inventory items to 0 ! Has this happened to anyone? I can't get help uploading a product list I downloaded. — What a nightmare! This experience has been devastating! The software is supposed to be safe... how on earth does it change all my inventory to 0 and no one is willing to help me fix it?? I have gone a…

SEO Basics Done But Not Ranking — I've been working on optimizing a page for a keyword with good search volume and low difficulty according to Keyword Planner, but it's nowhere in the top 100 results. I've done all the basics: * Met…

A great copywriter is worth their weight in gold — I've been building brands for 15 years. If you just got your first $20k-$100k budget to build your brand/web/app, let me humbly offer you a tip: # In 2025, the #1 thing that will affect how 'pro' you…

How to approach colleagues ‘improving’ my copy with unedited Chat GPT? — Hi all, I’m a new and junior member of a very small team, we are overstretched and have far too much on the go at any given time, which inevitably leads to shortcuts being taken. I’m no stranger t…

Quick help with CORS error — Hello, This is a stupid question I think I know the answer to, but I'd like confirmation. All the research I've done indicates my gut is right, but I like to check. I'm getting a CORS error when tr…

The successful are not here — After years of watching YouTube videos about startup / founder stuff and reading blogs, Reddit, and the horrible place that is LinkedIn, I came to realize that 99.9% of advice (especially in the SaaS …

Turns out I needed a "middleman" to have a successful relationship with a DA — Now the title may sound wild, but stick with me. # The Story So I (26M) have been dating someone (24F) who, as I came to realize, is a dismissive avoidant. It's been about a year now - though truthf…

antidepressants and avoidant attachment — i (22f, FA) came off venlafaxine (SNRI) about two months ago after being on it for 5+ years for depression and anxiety. predictably a lot of stuff is coming up, OCD and BDD symptoms, anxiety is a bit …

Does anyone else feel like they cannot truly love? All I know is limerence and anything beyond that is excruciating — I'm constantly stuck in cycles of limerence, I feel almost nothing for anyone UNLESS I am limerent for them. I am still present in relationships and friendships but it's purely out of obligation, I'm …

This is what happens when your FA ex comes back — This is my personal experience for those who are curious. Of course everyone will be different but I thought it might help those who are waiting or wishing (APs I'm talking mostly to you) Firstly the…

Seeking self-closure — To give a brief overview. Had a multi year situationship with someone I had fallen for, a fearful avoidant. Much pulling and pushing until it ended by her pushing everything away. A year later she st…

Is this Deactivation? Seeking insights from FAs. Please help me understand this — We're together for 6 months, a lot of push/pull in the beginning, but by the 4th month everything was finally going fine between us. He even called me his girlfriend nd promised to heal and everything…

The most painful relationship and breakup I've ever had, but it cracked me open so that I could heal. I created a text message llm analysis tool that revealed insecure attachment. — EDIT - TLDR; 8-month, high-intensity relationship. I was DA-leaning; she showed a lot of push–pull/negative lensing. We loved each other and still couldn’t repair, so we went NC. Post-breakup I focuse…

I have become obsessed with finding someone. — After my breakup in winter of last year, I went through a long period of mourning and not knowing what to do or how to move forward. Now, over the past 2-3 months, I have become obsessed with finding …

how to deal with an avoidant's freeze response in hard times? — my partner is FA, I've known him for a long time. He has made a lot of effort and has changed for the better. He's the more secure one between the two of us honestly, and he's pretty good at fighting …

Mostly healed, but I can’t stop walking on eggshells before I trust a new date (anxious-ambivalent) — Edit: I’m single but I’ve dated guys online. I’ve changed almost all of my symtoms from anxious-ambivalent to secure attachment. When I first start text someone romantically however, it’s all good un…

How do i stop the cycle of freaking out when im away from my partner? — When me and my partner dont see eachother for a long time, i just shut down. Everyday were apart the urge to pick apart every message is so strong and eventually when its too much, i just break down. …

RSD potential cause of AA? — Hey fellow AA folks, Since discovering attachment theory 2+ years ago, life has improved quite a lot. However, for the sake of anyone else who might be fresh to attachment theory, I want to spare yo…

I’m genuinely confused by the adverse effects since starting to do the programming — Yeah yeah, I’m one of those. I have been on a SP mission for almost three months now. We started in a semi okay place, even though it’s a long distance thing and I’m programming for us to be in a rela…

Did I make my Avoidance worse by pushing through it? — Hi all, I’ve been aware I have issues with commitment/avoidance my entire conscious life, but despite it I’ve always wanted to find love I didn’t meet my first boyfriend until I was 22, and it was l…

contemplating root of avoidance — I have been considering why some of my relationships work while others make me disconnect. I think the root is a desire to feel deeply understood and seen. I recently had a connection with someone I…

The pain of being unmet... — I'm never sure whether to consider myself anxiously attached, or mostly secure, because I generally do fine if I feel really loved in my relationship. But where I fall apart easily is when I don't. I …

Advice appreciated — Hi I have started re-reading The Power of Your Subconscious Mind as I’ve owned it for years but never fully read it. I have struggled with contamination OCD for about 4 years and it has progressively …

Girlfriend told me she was going to kill herself on my birthday. My attachment was almost healed or so i thought - all of that is in shambles now. — There were a lot of other red flags I have previously chosen to ignore, but this is what made me wake up. I suppose after hiding from people and feelings for so long, I felt like if I just broke it of…

I (28F) cut off my in-laws after how they treated me before and during my wedding, but I get anxious when my husband (27M) still talks to them. How do I move on? — TL;DR: My mother-in-law and sisters-in-law insulted me, fat-shamed and color-shamed me before our wedding and caused major drama during the wedding itself. Now they act sweet in front of my husband. I…

It does get better (dumped by an avoidant) (personal advice that helped me) — Too anyone who deems themselves as a hopeless romantic, anxiously attached, etc, this may relate to you. After three months of what I thought was the worst time of my life, it truly gets better. T…

I’m 20 and my mom still asks for my phone and laptop every night or there's consequences — I'm 20 (F) and turning 21 in a few months. My mom recently started asking me to surrender my laptop and phone again. "Again" because she did this to me as well when I was 13-18 years old. Before, she…

Cannabis vs. Mushrooms [My Experience] — So I'll start off by saying I'm not very experienced and have multiple psychotic and/or disassociative disorders plus a medical card But I'm surprised at my take away when using the medical marijuana…

I(F28) have to have a tough conversation with my bf(M30), but I’m scared. — We’ve been together 8 years this July. Not married. It’s been a point of contention. We’ve been in a pretty rough spot since last year, and honestly, it’s only gotten worse this year. I’ve realized o…

Struggling with wondering where life went wrong without a "defining moment" — I struggle with wondering where my life went wrong. I have good parents, had a good childhood, got good grades, had friends, went to college, etc. However, I've never been in a healthy romantic relati…

DA healing update: searching my true self, my inner child finally seen — Some of you may know me at this point. I'm (40M) dismissive avoidant, my wife fearful avoidant (41F), together 17 years, married 13 years, 3 children. I've been working on my attachment style for 5 mo…

I have done absolutely horrible things. I might be the worst human being to ever live. — 20M. This might be the longest post you'll ever read. I believe I have OCD and do nothing but ruminate 24/7 about my past. I have been in isolation for the last 3 years. It started as a fear of adult…

42M. Do these things basically disqualify me entirely? — I'm 42, Male, home owner almost half way paying off the mortgage, university post-graduate education, full time job in retail middle management that I actually enjoy doing, a bunch of mostly solitary …

“You must respect your mom, she’s your mom.” — How many times have I heard this lecture? People who have normal families have absolutely zero clue what they are talking about. When people see a situation or even read a situation they can’t tolera…

I manifested the cure of my disidrosis(with photos) — Hello guys, I will tell how I manifested the cure of my disidrosis. So I will tell how I MANIFESTED my disidrosis😢: So guys, at the beggining of 2025 I was diagnosed with chondropathy, I didn't knew…

Codependency and an ex that keeps coming back — Hey guys! So, I've run out of ideas on this. I got together with a single mum in summer 2024 and we parted ways around last October. Since then, we agreed to stay friends but she wouldn't even give m…

Day 47 of no contact. Here's what nobody tells you about what happens to your brain. — I didn't plan to go no contact. I just got to a point where I realized every time I reached out I felt worse for three days afterward. So I stopped. Day 1–7 was the worst week of my life. Worse than …

How do you stop overthinking and care less about things that don’t matter? — Hello, How do you learn to give fewer fucks about things that shouldn’t matter? I used to think I was the kind of person who could brush things off pretty easily, but lately I’ve been overthinking a…

I Genially Think My (35F) Husband (36M) is a Psychopath — Hi everyone, please I need help. I’m 35F and my husband is 36M. We’ve been married for 10 years and have two boys (7 and 5). I honestly don’t know what to think anymore. About three months ago my hus…

My husband cheated and is now the meanest person I’ve ever met — I really just need to rant because I feel like I’m going to lose my mind. So my (30F) husband (38M) cheated on me 4 days after my 30th birthday. To go into more detail, he snuck out of our house while…

When did you finally realise, your life would never be ‘normal’? — I am 47M I grew up in an EXTREMELY dysfunctional household, with every type of abuse you can imagine, and death of a parent at 12. I’ve had to fend for myself since that age, whilst being used and a…

My (29F) brother (34M) asked me if he ‘still has a sister’ because I’m not excited enough about his baby. How do I fix this? — My (29F) brother (34M) and his girlfriend (31F) are expecting a baby in May. I’m happy for them because I know they really wanted a kid, but I don’t feel particularly excited about becoming an aunt. W…

A lot can change, if you allow it to. — It’s my time to give back to this community. Just to put a perspective to things, I don’t mean to boast. I am not very talented, just stubborn and a hard worker. If I can transform my scenario, so c…

Heavy energy/projection in living space — I keep experiencing, on a daily basis, unbearable heavy energy (from the little I've learnt, and I have learnt a lot) it feels like a projection of some kind. I have learnt and grown about myself abo…

So.. id classify myself as a relatively spiritual person.. over the last few months ive tried meditating 5 or so times.. ive had sleep paralysis about 5 times as well in my life.. more so in the last …

Oof. I feel that... I think what's worse is I know I *could* have, and it would have helped save my marriage. But to do it now, without the support of the one person I thought I could rely on to help…

Well I’m glad to see that it’s a lot easier than you thought it was going to be and that it will be easier than you expected to have to go through all the stuff that I was supposed to be working on to…

PLEASE READ IF YOUR LOOKING INTO ASTRAL PROJECTING. About 2 months ago I was looking extremely deep into astral projecting, once I seen what it was I was instantly drawn to it and thought it was inter…

its very tiring for me and i would feel like i havent slept at all bc im living in my dream so intensely that its like my body is asleep but my mind is awake consiously dreaming and doing stuff in my …

With number six, laws in the can US change all the time. Just look at what’s happening with the current president..sigh. Nothing is set in stone. For better or for worse.

Thank you. I will ask the op to insert these links into her other post. They are a good addenda and are a beneficial part of the record. We may make her post a part of our index as well. It is a very…

Thanks for all of the above. I can relate in that I may on occasion turn inward a bit when I’m super tapped out socially or like physically don’t have the reserves left, but I socially exhaust a lot l…

Sounds pretty avoidant. That sucks - I’m sorry. Does she actually understand how important this is to you? If so, I might try having the conversation one more time, being clear that it’s a dealbreaker…

Right. It’s starting to feel like a circle jerk (that I am definitely a part of). I think people get confused because of the cognitive dissonance of them being caring and love bombing and then neglect…

Irritating the ones you love, polysecure (because it deals with a lot of attachment education), women who love too much, polyvagal theory and exercises, legit anything to do with different therapies— …

This sort of thing tends to get worse with age, not better. Unless addressed

I've been experiencing something similar, broke up in December. In my mind, it's almost as if the person I knew and loved severed (like from the show Severance) themselves and returned from a trip as …

Attachment styles are not the sole factors for attraction we create. But cutting off people we have known for a long time - especially family members, to which we are bound to biologically - is a sig…

To answer: They will escalate negative behavior towards you if you’re not respecting their distance or wishes for disengagement. I once told an ex, “If you keep staying with me I will treat you worse …

Having self-awareness enough to reality-check yourself is a real blessing. Will it stop you from feeling miserable and suffering, unfortunately not, but it can save you from taking unwise actions that…

You need to let go of this "dream guy" fantasy. I think it's making you ignore reality. You spent ONE WEEK together. Time to move on and stop putting people on an imaginary pedestal. The more you do t…

Well yeah and in my experience too if they say they hate you and you really don’t deserve it, you should obv take that as a sign they aren’t right, because 9 times out of 10 what follows “I hate you” …

The mire you deny your emotions and feel they are wrong the worse it gets. Once I just started telling my partner how I feel without making it their problem to solve, the less I felt those ways. I got…

Agreed. I also dated a guy like this and things got progressively worse and worse- no amount of ‘*understanding*’ would have fixed it because ultimately he wasn’t fit to be in a relationship. On refle…

Now I am sitting with the realization of how much I have victimized myself and made things worse than they really are, like when I take another person's behavior towards me personally when it isn't, i…

“It shifts your worldview to think that some people can love and care about you, but still fee nothing about hurting you.” WOW wow wow. I’m going thru this with someone I believed to be chosen family…

[It turns out that 21% of the time restraining orders actually instigate *worse* behavior.](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC1448307/) I'm so glad I had such a savvy detective who both knew th…

Yes we had it introduced last year to justify to the business that we "need more people" and it sucks. Takes time away from tackling actual issues, especially if we're doing a lot of firefighting then…

Not a good metric. It's used by middle managers to justify their existence (my opinion), as it's as useful as counting github commit lines. Or bugs found and squashed. Additional process limits pro…

I believe they wanted to understand it first, then they made an update to the prompt, then they decided to pull it. They did the right thing and likely would have pulled it sooner if the problem was …

Discussing LOB with normies is generally a kiss of death, from what I have experienced... we want to share this material, but we may be casting our pearls before swine, and a lot of the swine want to …

You're absolutely right to question. This is such the norm in the dating scene, it's crazy! From my experience, what I can say is that you're definitely dealing with a DA type here. Idk if you got int…

FA here. While not full-blown DA, I can share some insight since I have avoidant traits. Not feeling good enough, like my efforts aren’t enough. That my authentic self will be shunned if I express it…

It's happened to me and a friend of mine as well. Once that is done to a DA, we never forgive and we never forget. That person may as well be dead to us for anything other than a polite interaction …

Look, I do understand where you're coming from. And I can tell you're only looking out for me. But think about it this way. Things have been really good, really stable and I do feel genuine connection…

Honestly a 24 hour check up sounds worse than whatever instability you might have as a couple.

It feels like a child is clinging to me and then getting angry with me if I try to have a life or any interests outside of them. It starts with needling comments from them, passive aggression, accusat…

I’m in the same boat as you. Also an FA, mostly secure but get sucked into anxious attachment with someone who is very avoidant. I’ve also said goodbye to some avoidant friends! I’ve done alot of hea…

Happy it worked out for you. Two self-proclaimed avoidants from my past gave me some of the worse emotional pain I've ever experienced. Today I have empathy for them. That's better than feeling hate, …

That’s the worse part of it they act like what you had never existed, and that’s fucks you up you’re the crazy one for being human.

I suppose I’m scared of therapy because I don’t want to take any medication for other issues and I don’t trust the therapist. They’re just a person too, they’d likely harbor judgment and opinions agai…

Having the same issue, but i haven’t met her again yet. And I don’t think I will. The rumination is most probably your attachment system that is acting up- and the rumination is your brain making sens…

I say this with kindness because reading through your posts, you remind me of me from 5-6 years ago. I think your feeling of shame is clouding your judgement a bit here. It sounds like you were just i…

So many examples I can think of lol. In general, after our honeymoon phase was over, she deactivated and started pulling away. I assumed this was caused by anxiety, so instead of calling out her dism…

>pursuing people who have communicated they're not offering what you're after is a great way to not get what you're after. >I spoke to an AP woman about this on a thread elsewhere and she said that i…

The normal stereotype is that non-secure men lean avoidant and non-secure women lean anxious. I would bet a lot of money that these days there are more avoidant women and the number is on the rise. T…

It's even worse than it's ever been. Nobody looking out for anyone but themselves, and I don't live in a large city where this would be expected; I live in a smaller town college town with no more tha…

For better or worse I'll update y’all.

Yep, and in fact, the nicer you are, the worse you can make it. Because then there's a nice compassionate loving person guarding the exit door you have to destroy to escape. That can feel like an imme…

Basically, what’s happening here, is their feelings of being seen are most likely depleted, at least between you two and he’s feeling that and his brain is scanning who to reach out for and it’s a sub…

Ignore him. Don't say anything to him, block him if you can or just ignore him. It's not nice to play with other people's peace. If you are having a relationship, dating or something, you know that …

Yeah, I feel you my friend. That hypervigilance that's always sort of "on" under the surface. And what makes it harder to overcome is the fact that we can point to all these instances where that hyp…

Well initially I thought that about this 6-7-ish mark we'll make it official. However closer to those timestamps she began to feel overwhelmed with each week (she's autistic, was finishing her bachelo…

I appreciate the clarity that yes we are mostly saying the same, but by avoiding dating I meant I refused to be in a relationship or do anything past casual. My current relationship is my first ever r…