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Evidence
Citations (100)
I (21M) have survived two decades of severe physical, emotional, and financial abuse from my Indian parents. I'm finally exhausted and need to tell my story. I am not free yet. — # TL;DR: I'm a 20-year-old only child in India who has endured severe physical, verbal, emotional, and financial abuse from my parents since toddlerhood. They have beaten me, medically neglected me, …
A Procedural Update for the Continued Health of Our Subreddit. — Hey everyone on r/NarcissisticAbuse. We get it, we really do– the U.S. political situation right now is a bloody mess with further escalation, rather than some kind of stability, on the horizon. W…
How much do I charge? — I’ll start by saying I’m freshly out of college (I took marketing). I know basic Seo and don’t mind learning as I go as this will be my first big project. I have an opportunity to work with a local …
Tech Startup advice required - Hire or equity offer (I will not promote) — I’m a serial entrepreneur—what some might call "very successful,” though success is relative and I just did okay. Over the past 25 years, I’ve had some brilliant tech ideas and a brain wired for archi…
"I quit my engineering job due to anxiety and built a small business—how do I scale from here?" — Hi everyone, I wanted to share my journey and ask for advice from those who’ve scaled small businesses. I studied chemical engineering and got placed in a great company right after graduating from S…
In an avoidant-anxious friendship, how much space should I be giving before I reach out? — The last 2 posts on the sub are about friendship and that encouraged me to post here as well. This is my friend of 5 years. We’ve gone from talking almost everyday to me being given the silent treat…
Seeking self-closure — To give a brief overview. Had a multi year situationship with someone I had fallen for, a fearful avoidant. Much pulling and pushing until it ended by her pushing everything away. A year later she st…
Is this Deactivation? Seeking insights from FAs. Please help me understand this — We're together for 6 months, a lot of push/pull in the beginning, but by the 4th month everything was finally going fine between us. He even called me his girlfriend nd promised to heal and everything…
Thank you — I'm in one of the healthiest relationships I've ever been in, and this subreddit—along with my therapist—has helped me in a big way. I still get triggered, but I'm better at self-soothing and have lea…
🕊️ Community Reminder: Respectful Dialogue & Open Exchange — Hey everyone, We just want to take a moment to thank all of you for helping make r/AstralProjection one of the most interesting and supportive spaces on Reddit. Every day, people from around the worl…
how to deal with an avoidant's freeze response in hard times? — my partner is FA, I've known him for a long time. He has made a lot of effort and has changed for the better. He's the more secure one between the two of us honestly, and he's pretty good at fighting …
Happy and healing but still need to be "chosen." Advice welcome — I have been on a healing journey for my anxious attachment for a few years now. I am in a secure relationship where I have found a deeply vulnerable and safe connection and also know that if it ends I…
Feeling friendless — Hey guys, Sorry long vent, you can skip to the bottom if needed. Recently I have been doing great attachment-wise on the romantic relationships front. But for some reason I feel like I can’t mainta…
Letter to my ex — **7th February 2026** “You will find me, right?” That sentence is the last sentence. The one that always stays with me. Every single day I think about it, and I think that’s why I know what I have t…
DA’s - Do You Know When You’re Deactivating? — When you’re deactivating, do you know that’s what’s happening? If you were unaware of your attachment style or attachment theory, would you still have a sense of what’s going on? Had some intimacy …
I astral projected last night.. — I astral projected last night... What was your first experience? Here's mine: We arrived in Tunisia yesterday, had some sleep, woke up, yawned, and my nose started bleeding, only mentioning this bec…
My boyfriend and I had an argument over his marriage demands, and now he claims he means none of it... — Tl:dr: My boyfriend of two years has a list of requirements from me after we get married, and after our argument over it, which lead us to break up-- he said he didn't mean any of it and wants to go …
Reflection on over friendly therapist? — Hi readers. This is something that has been on my mind for months and I don't know how to wrap my head around it. Some professional insight might be helpful. I left therapy a few months ago. I had …
I (28F) gave my boyfriend (29M) an STD and I can’t stop feeling so ashamed and guilty — My boyfriend and I met on tinder a couple of months ago and everything has been so great. We get along wonderfully and we have such a good time together. I was sexually active with a couple of people …
Broke up with DA after a year. — Met her a year ago, almost to the day. Things started well, relatively slowly which was nice for a change compared to other situations I have been in around that time. After two months, we became offi…
My mom called my son’s birthday party “f***ing embarrassing” because she cares more about what people think than celebrating him — **UPDATE:** Thank you to everyone who commented and shared advice. A lot of people suggested going no contact with my mom to protect myself and my son. I understand why people said that, but I want …
how do you live with the harm you've caused in the past? — Four months ago, I broke up with my ex. We were going through a rough patch but from their perspective, it was nothing we hadn't gone through before. I completely blindsided and discarded them (a term…
Caught myself falling asleep and slipped into another OBE/AP (details + what helped) — So last night (11/3/2026) I had another experience. I can't say for sure whether it was AP or an OBE — I'm not sure if they are classed as the same thing or not. I’ll be looking into that later. Befo…
Six months after the worst breakup of my life, I finally understand why I couldn't heal for the first three. — I'm writing this because I wish someone had said it to me when I was in month one. For the first three months I did everything people tell you to do. I went to the gym. I saw friends. I kept busy. I …
Seeking support for shame and dependency? — You need other people to deal with shame.You go to them safe people to seek reassurance,soothe yourself,tell your shame or shameful experience ,so you can regulate yourself But then there is this fu…
My mom was supposed to pick me up after surgery. Instead my son took the bus. — I’m in my 50s and still unpacking things about my mom. Growing up, she was always extremely emotionally absent. There was almost no affection, no comforting, and very little interest in my inner life…
"Never Go to Bed Angry" is bad bias advice — Last night I got into a slightly heated debate with a friend of mine who said "my partner and I can never go to bed angry, it doesn't help anyone". I immediately pushed back because this imo will sile…
Endogenous DMT activation in sleep? Spontaneous breakthrough-like state with fractals, death sensation, head pops, high-pitched noise — [](/r/DMT/?f=flair_name%3A%22Experience%22)So this is going to sound stupidly insane but… I need to put it somewhere for someone who might understand. Background: had a 6g mushroom trip a while back.…
***I m 40+ F.. Never married, no kids. — Never married, never lived with a man for no more than few days, like I haven't done budgeting for couples groceries, no plans where to live,what to eat or asked a man ' where did the salary go?? ' et…
Stop wanting a relationship with neglectful parents. — All of us are so attuned to their emotions and how THEY feel. But I’m here to tell you that being low contact/no contact is okay. You aren’t withholding energy from them because you’re compassionless,…
(trip report) Telepathic communication through high doses of psilocybin — Dose: 8g (Myself), 5g (Brayden, first time), others 3–4g Setting: Friend’s house, nearby park, neighborhood walk Time: 3:00 PM – 9:00 PM Participants: 5 friends So a couple years ago me and my …
I think my 32F 36M boyfriend lied about me passing out during sex — My boyfriend and I have been dating about 6 months. While having sex last night things got more intense than normal. We both enjoy things a little rough but its always been sometimes we've discussed a…
Some recent examples of my manifestations. Very convincing for skeptics. — Ever since I learnt about manifesting, which has been only few months, I manifest every single day, so much that I dont even keep track of it, and no its not some god mode, I manifest cryptic shit mos…
Have we reached a tipping point with generational trauma? — So many people are just… so traumatized man. I’ve met way too many people over the years that are obviously stuck in a 4F response. I can’t imagine it was this bad when my parents grew up. Maybe it wa…
i made my therapist cry (in a bad way) — hi everyone, i hope you're doing well - i have been with my psychotherapist for a little over 2 years, and for the most part we have been okay. however, over the last couple months, i have felt frus…
Anyone Ever Just Start Hitting Them Back? — Very politically incorrect of me I guess 🙄 but I hate how all of the advice given out to victims never suggests hitting them back. It's like it's almost a taboo to suggest that you do anything but co…
You are God. — you can manifest anything and everything. I say this as someone who has been into this community since i was 10. I used to try manifesting height, weight loss, friends, parents to stop arguing, everyt…
I'm a rotten abuser and I can't forgive myself for it and I don't feel that I should. — I 30F am an abuser who has ruined my husband just because I can't accept being loved. yesterday I told him that I hope one day he gets the self esteem to leave me, and he responded that he hopes one d…
The dangerous 'toxic positivity' of AI therapy: A personal story — **TL;DR:** I used a customized Gemini "Gem" as a complementary therapist, but it completely failed to spot a predator. The AI interpreted extreme red flags (love bombing, gaslighting, and manipulation…
I want to send this text so bad — Hey. I know you probably don’t want to hear from me. I’m sorry for sending this text but I just need to. I haven’t been in the best head space for the last month. I feel like I won’t ever hear from yo…
"You'll understand when you have kids..." — ... has got to be the biggest load of narcissistic bullshit. I hope I can treat my kids with love and compassion instead of control and manipulation. I was also told, "I know you better than you know …
Setting boundaries in Stoicism. — Let's say that you have a working colleague who is your superior and she makes a lot of remarks about your work, working qualities, ethics etc., most of which are not true and you know it. Not be inf…
I stopped chasing happiness and started building contentment instead and it made all the difference — For years I was obsessed with being happy. Every self-help book promised that if I just did this one thing, happiness would follow. Gratitude journals, affirmations, visualization, cold plunges. I tri…
My body feels anxious even when nothing is wrong - has any anxiety relief device actually helped? — This has been bothering me a lot lately. There are days where nothing is wrong. No stress, no overthinking, everything is actually fine. But my body doesn’t feel fine. My chest feels tight, my breath…
My girlfriend drove 10 hours to see me and my mom showed up at 3 am and ruined everything — Someone told me I should come over here and check this community out. I’m not sure if my mother is a narcissist or not. I just need some similar stories, advice, or ways to handle this going further. …
She cheated after 14 years — This is my first ever post on Reddit and it’s a long one so apologies in advance for any formatting errors. I have been with my fiancé for 14 years, we have been engaged for the last 4. Our relations…
THIS 👇🏼 is how they moved on SO fast — Something hit me like a damn truck the other day and I genuinely haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, so I’m just going to put it out there in here in the hope that it helps one of you too Yo…
My boyfriend (27M) embarrassed me in public and I’m not sure how to address it — I’m F23 and I’ve been dating this guy (M27) for about 8 months. He took me to a place I’d been wanting to go, which I really appreciated, and he spent a decent amount on the date. But for most of the …
obsessing over what you want isn't the problem btw!! read this — do you have to stop thinking about what you want to manifest it? NO! that's the thing you want obviously you are going to think about it! just be conscious of the feeling behind it. are you thinkin…
Anyone else never asks for help because they don't want to be a burden? — Even when I'm really struggling, I can't bring myself to reach out. I convince myself that my problems aren't serious enough, that people have their own stuff to deal with, or that I'll just come acro…
I guess a lot of people are still in the angry stage, here. Well I guess if your ex was a POS I can understand, but we can't control people leaving. People have the right to make decisions they believ…
Hey, ich habe wirklich genossen, was du geschrieben hast. Ich habe es ins Englische übersetzt – ich hoffe, das ist okay.
My man, I feel that deeply, as a FA myself, who seems to exclusively date other FA or avoidants. You need to start here, TheLoveChat Youtube: https://youtu.be/H8yRnR3iYA8?feature=shared - this man h…
"Treating unhealthy behavior like unhealthy behavior is lacking empathy". Okay. I can have empathy and still acknowledge that you need to do better and improve yourself. Talking as someone who used to…
Well, if you're into them, that's the first sign. It'll be tricky to differentiate between DA and secure for you because they'll both feel like they're moving at a reasonable pace at first, but a DA i…
Yeah, I was going to mention this because I often see posts and comments online and on Reddit demonizing avoidents or diagnosing others of being avoident with limited information or perspective. While…
OP please read the above and take it to heart! (FA here, married to DA) Way too many people confuse attachment style with: A) personality B) their feelings for you. It's just attachment style,…
I like a lot of what you said and have lived that scenario and yes, the best thing is to act normal once the conflict has been resolved. One thing I don’t know if I agree with is trusting words over a…
Oh. Okay. Good to know.
OP your self-insight is great and this on/off again pattern (while unique to each individual relationship in its own way) is reassuring to read because of just how many similarities we all share. Th…
I manage my amxiety waiting for replies is I talk to myself in a third person that they are busy and everything will be okay. I keep myself busy too.
I like to journal with ChatGPT and has the capability to figure out stuff like this, you could just copy and paste it. Gemini is … okay.
OP, I think what the person above said is very true. I was honest with my partner from the start, and thankfully they were also quite supportive. This helped immensely What also helps me is to tak…
I'm going through almost the exact same thing currently. Like you, it is only really in this specific friendship i experience this kind of anxiety - probably because of how vulnerable i have been with…
Part of healing from anxious attachment style is learning not to persevere on the issue, responding to another persons need for space by giving them space, and having warm and direct conversations abo…
1. Yes I did ask her if she was okay. That has always been a priority to me, basically seeing if my friends are doing well or not. Yes, I do get your point on relying on her too much, and I think you …
Healing comes in layers and phases etc. There is no “one and done I’m all healed” type thing. You are discovering a new deeper layer that is showing you where some more healing is needed. It is a true…
Also - hyper vigilance is sooo common. Constantly scanning for signs that they’re going to leave. I think it’s helpful to try to pause and turn inward in those moments and talk to yourself as you take…
What I'm going to say is not going to sound intuitive at all and is going to be scary, but it's honestly one of the practices and shifts I made that has led me to being secure. It took a lot of therap…
Wow, this is a beautiful way to look at it. I can imagine that that siren going off for me, is actually a scared little girl tugging on my shirt hem with tears in her eyes. I just need to look down. L…
Even if you ended on a good note, you should never entertain the idea of having a person who hurt you back in your life. It’s okay that you reached out probably because you told yourself you eventuall…
Hey all—seeking some empathy & advice. My partner is, I believe, avoidant and very quiet/an internal person/processor. This naturally leads to some anxiety in me when they’re not super present. Wh…
After my Bipolar ex broke up with me, I can’t stop worrying about her. She broke up with me a month ago. Everything was seeming wonderful, and on top of the world. We were going to get married. I bou…
The function of anxiety is letting you know that something is wrong. The thing about us anxiously attached folks is that our anxiety malfunctions when getting to know someone we like or when in a rela…
I understand him very well that he wants to help but he felt helpless. I know he's working on it. That's why I even phrased my question the way I did. I feel shitty because of how he just...acted and…
I have this thought spiral frequently. I am also very susceptible to gaslighting so after my last relationship, I had no ability to trust my own thoughts. I am still dealing with this but something th…
So here’s the thing - if you were single it would be on you to get yourself to the emergency room and decide if you want to go or not. I think you may have some misplaced anger at yourself for not bei…
I just expected him to have any initiative or take action. I'm 100% that person who'd risk being overbearing because when I do see or hear about someone I care about having health issues, I get very p…
Update to the situation: two days ago he stopped texting me after three days of barely texting. I sent him stuff, he didn't open the chat, but he was constantly online. I asked him hours later if ever…
I think two things are true: what she did initially was something most people would not be okay with in a relationship. So that was bad and it was a big deal. However, two, It sounds like she handled…
Your first two sentences are a little opposite of each other. You start by saying how much you don’t like smoking….but then you soften that by saying that it only matters that you are not pressured to…
Text of original post by u/BornEducation4428: I am quite curious to hear if there are those who are still in their own "wound care " (healing) of being outside of an anxiously attached situation or of…
I spent a whole year recovering from a breakup. I focused on healing and my anxiety. Very confident in dating. I go on multiple first dates. I’m having a good time. I feel in my own skin for the fir…
Wanted to shape some of my thoughts for you and add to ThrowRA_patata3000. 🤞 It could be my two cents: but it might be that deep down, your feeling an intuition that’s trying to pull you out outward…
I definitely agree that it’s just to get some type of reassurance or attention. I suppose it comes from my fear or being abandoned, so when we talk all the time, I feel like I am not being abandoned. …
> I think this is an anxious trait so I want to know if this also happens to you? Why am I reacting like this? Is it justified or is it my insecurity talking? How do you communicate, instead of pullin…
I just have a few questions: 1. If you go out on a date with someone and it goes well, you have fun, and you find out the next day that they aren't interested in continuing seeing you -- was the date…
I think we'll never be "ready" - you can't heal completely from AA/AP outside of a relationship. It's the relationship that triggers the attachment wounds, so it's the only place where you can truly c…
No one is attacking you. I was trying to explain myself so you understood what I was saying in my previous comments. No one in this sub is going to tell you how to survive not hearing I love you. Be…
You should check out the book Nonviolent Communication!! There are free PDFs online if you want to try before you buy. I'm moving from AA -> Secure and it has been super helpful. The basic idea is: …
Not that it is a requirement, but is there any chance you could work with a therapist? Preferably one who works with people on their attachment wounds. I've found it really helpful in my healing journ…
It really pisses me off. I know it's wasted energy, but it's so disrespectful. They talk about being used, but they are the ones who are using you by trying to make you fit their perception of what yo…
(26M, in a relationship) I was very anxious before, and I believe that I have been improving day by day. I used to be anxious and triggered when my friends hung out without me, or somehow I couldn't b…
This might genuinely be terrible advice, so please take it with a grain of salt, but here is a process that has been helping me when my anxiety flares up like that. This might be long, forgive me (ADH…
\- You can absolutely fully break down in front of someone. Yes, people are fully breaking down in front of the people close to them - just not, like, all the time. Most people cry a little bit regula…
It’s entirely reasonable to cry in front people you care about. What I like to do is ask my siblings (people who I’m closest to the most) if they have capacity to listen to me. When they do I let it o…
A boundary for yourself would be like accepting that this is a full on break up and it is over. And that you will not accept breadcrumbs. This could look like setting it up to no longer receive contac…
That meta analysis addresses empathy in general. As stated by them >We did not differentiate the dimension of the empathy; both cognitive and emotional dimensions were included as a general measure o…
Try not overthink it. Take a deep breath and just go for a walk or hang out with friends and try not to think about the situation. I know it sucks, but it’s gonna be okay.
Text of original post by u/EveyandSylus: Hey guys, Sorry long vent, you can skip to the bottom if needed. Recently I have been doing great attachment-wise on the romantic relationships front. But f…